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Take This Waltz
Take This Waltz (2011)
1/10
Take this schmaltz
6 May 2013
Ten minutes into the movie, Michelle Williams confides in her airplane seat mate, "I'm afraid of being afraid." It only goes downhill from there.

I don't know how the actors can deliver this horrendous dialogue without hating themselves. Even Sarah Silverman sucked in this movie. It does take a very special script and/or director to make her intolerable.

There are literally no redeeming factors in this movie. Every line, every character interaction, and every sex scene is cringe-worthy.

Sarah Polley, you owe me ten bucks and two hours of my life.
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Celeste & Jesse Forever
Celeste & Jesse Forever (2012)
8/10
The plight of the modern woman
14 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Spoiler alert, bitter woman alert, etc.

Celeste is a high-powered career girl, and Jesse's career involves surfing and sleeping off hangovers. It worked fine when they were in college, but now Celeste is reconsidering spending her life with an unmotivated loser.

She breaks it off and makes a lame foray into the world of singledom. She then realizes that in 2012, most men are emasculated, freeloading shmucks, and she eventually decides that she'd rather be with a loser she loves than some random loser, or no one at all. However, several weeks have passed, and Jesse has already managed to impregnate a hapless foreign girl.
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