Reviews

The set-up was good, the pay-off could have been creepy, but are you trying to tell me that the babysitter didn't go to the bathroom in the almost 5 hours she watched the kid?

And going of what the kid says, it's plausible to think that he's had lots of babysitters before, and neiher of them needed a bathroom break either?

I'm not one looking for plot holes, but when they scream you right in the face I get annoyed.

This is my first review of a Mandalorian episode. It was a fun episode, better than some, worse than others. As I never got into any of the animated SW shows I have no connection whatsoever to Ahsoka Tano (although I did watch the Clone Wars movie), so I could take or leave her being in this show. It was fine, she was fine, but the plot did nothing to progress the story. At the end of the story we're at status quo, with Mando looking for someone to train Grogu (yes, we got a name for Baby Yoda). It felt like filler just to get Ahsoka in the show for pure fan service and nothing more.

The writing in the first three episodes were below par, but I thought it just might be because the show was still finding its footing. However, with this episode the writers showed that they are just interested in soap opera-level stuff. Case in point: the scene where Ambrose meets Luke at a café. WHY did they have to stoop to that artificial drama between them, where Ambrose says "This was a mistake", so Luke will think that Ambrose means it was the meeting that was a mistake, when we KNOW that Luke is a warlock, so Ambrose could have told him what was up. For pete's sake, bad writing, it annoyed the heck out of me.

I lowered my expectations quite a bit, since The Babadook got so rave reviews last year and that movie was rage-inducing bad. This isn't much better. Aside from the obvious "if young women have sex, they will die", I kept thinking that this was like The Ring but with genitalia. So, yeah. There were, of course, a few jump scares (one of which, admittedly, was effective). Then there's the score... never have I heard such an obtrusive, annoying, obnoxious score for a movie. And it was there THE! WHOLE!! TIME!!! Every time the music started I rolled my eyes and thought "Jeez, not again" and then it stopped... and not even 20 seconds later it started up AGAIN! And again... again... and so on. I think a LOT of the scenes would have worked better if they had been played out in silence. Also, the panning of the camera. Time and again the frame rested on or strolled along something that had NADA to do with anything. This also became eye-roll moments for me. Avoid; if you're hungry for some good, new horror, go for something like As Above So Below.

...mix it with a middle-passage reminiscent of Vacancy and then, near the end, throw in some Funny Games for good measure, and you come up with this crap fest. As others have stated, it starts out well, and then descends into nothing rather rapidly. Whereas Them/Ils is a little masterpiece in building nail biting suspense and Funny Games is, at least, thought-provoking, The Strangers mostly reminds one of Vacancy in non-existing suspense. Plus the ending is stupid. Some reviewers said that the lack of motif bothered them, which really isn't an issue for me; I don't mind "making up" the background myself, but that's all a matter of taste. This movie could have needed a good twist. The 2 stars is only for some creepy moment within the first 25 minutes, and for the rather small cast that did a not great, but acceptable job.

...and that's NOT a good thing!! Everything The Descent got right, this movie got wrong, i.e. believable characters, characters you CARE for, and monsters for the most part barely glimpsed. Oh, and also the feeling of really being in danger. That never happens in The Cave.

It is also tired and formulaic; starts with something 30 years in the past about some soldiers looking for something in a church or whatever, then they fall into the underground cave, and flash forward, a bunch of mostly good-looking people go looking for...what, exactly?? And, to no-one's surprise, the first to bite the dust are the not-so-good-looking guy and the older guy. 'cause this is intended for young people, so we can't have "ugly" people around for too long, can we?

The weirdest thing is, this movie is PG13, when the only ones I could imagine would enjoy this, are kids UNDER that age. Not even one bare breast or a dirty word ("friggin'" is the closest we get), only some confusing shot scenes of people/beasts fighting.

Oh, and the ending; well, an attempt to leave room for a sequel does not a twist-ending make. Who actually got surprised by this??

Avoid this movie. Watch The Descent instead, it has genuine scares and tension.

The only reason I gave this 2 instead of 1, is because Eddie Cibrian is a looker. If he'd shown some skin, I might have given it a 3.

That's how bad it is. I don't watch movies just because the cast is good-looking, and Eddie Cibrian was the only redeeming thing about this flick.

...but this movie is just not any good. I mean, I love horror and splatter as much as the next guy - and maybe more - even some of the lowest of the lowest, and I love movies with plot twists. But this crap fest really takes the price for being one of THE worst "horror"-movies ever. Where to begin? (Oh, and I won't even BEGIN on the Intensity-thing, it's clear that those who like this movie, have never even HEARD of Intensity. I can live with "being inspired by" other stories, but totally rip-offs??). I can accept the fact that Marie is the killer and has multiple personalities and whatnot, but the way it was executed was very, very bad. I mean...what with the scene where she's found Alex tied up, and she looks out the window to see the kid brother running from the killer who shoots him? Huh? And when she's hiding in the closet when the mother sees her, and AT THE SAME TIME she presumably kills the mother?? HUH?? And so on. Like, when she leaves the gas station in the van, and oh, wait, she follows herself in another vehicle. It could have worked if done properly, but it is so badly put together that you get really annoyed when you find out what is going on. Plus, tension never builds. I really tried to get into this movie (and trust me, when you have to TRY, it's not working). Everything falls flat. There are many other flaws and plot holes that I thought of when the identity(!) of the killer was revealed, but have happily forgot most of them, and it's maybe 15 hours since I saw it. It doesn't get much worse than this, really...stay away. Watch or read Intensity instead. IMDb really needs to make that feature where you can give 0 or minus star ratings.