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TroyinIA
Reviews
Cheerleader Massacre (2003)
Should have been better.
Originally harped as a sequel to "The Slumber Party Massacre" series, this film falls flat on it's face with a new title. First off, if you are going to include the word "massacre" in your film's title, you better deliver. This one certainly does not. There is no gore, no on screen murders and no chainsaw, as the box art would lead you to believe. Instead, we get a paper thin, overdone plot about a group of cheerleaders who get stranded in an abandoned cabin on the way to a football game, only to be offed one by one. Again, this film could have been OK if the gore quotient was upped a bit. Why directors, especially those doing direct-to-video flicks, are afraid to show ANY gore is beyond me. Now, I am not a huge fan of excessive gore, but come on...why else would anyone rent a movie called "Cheerleader Massacre??" Besides that problem, the film suffers from a shot-on-a-home-video-camera cheapness. It looks cheap, sounds cheap, and the actors aren't all that good. It tries to throw us off track to who the killer may be, but even that fails. The ending ends up being a ridiculous mess. Folks, if you run across this film, walk away and go find the original "Slumber Party Massacre." 2 out of 10.
You Better Watch Out (1980)
No! No! No! No!
Good lord, it boggles my mind how some reviewers on here actually claim this is a good movie!! In fact, one prolific member who specializes in reviewing horror films on here actually gave this trash 3 out of 4 stars!?!?!?! Either he saw a totally different film than I did, or he was intoxicated.
There are so many things wrong with this film that I don't know where to being. The plot goes something like this: a young boy sees his mother making out heavily with Santa and it scars him for life. Because of this, he grows up to become obsessed with Christmas, as well as working in a toy factory of all places. As XMas nears, he decides that he is fed up with how people have forgotten the true meaning of Xmas and decides to go on a killing spree, if you could call it that. The film is cheap looking, at least the copy that I viewed. It is grainy and colors are distorted. Usually this can work in favor of a low-budget slasher flick, but not this. It ends up screaming amateurism even more than the plot and acting does. The pace is incredibly slow and for a film that obviously wanted to target the slasher lovers (the box art shows Santa with an Axe), the gore and killings are almost non-existent. There are three killings in the entire film, and quite cheesy ones at that. And if one can sit through this garbage, the ending takes the cake for one of the worst, most laughable in slasher history.
It is important to mention the other Christmas themed slashers that are out there: the superior, and one of the best horror films ever made, "Black Christmas," the ultra-low budget "Too All a Goodnight," and the mega-controversial "Silent Night Deadly Night." Folks, please trust me.....all of these are better than this crap. Avoid, unless you are a die-hard genre fan who makes it a goal to watch everyone of the cheesy, low-budget films ever made. 1 out of 10.
Unhinged (1982)
Fast Forward to the ending....
"Unhinged" is one strange little film, a forgotten slasher from the golden age of the genre. It's hard to really write a satisfying review of this film simply because of the fact that the film is so unique. It's plot is fairly overdone--three young women on their way to a rock concert get in a car crash and end up stranded at the mansion of an eccentric old woman and her spinster daughter. Very quickly, the ladies realize something is not quite right when they hear strange breathing and noises from the attic. On top of that, the mother and daughter seem to have a very, very strange relationship, as they quarrel intensely in front of their houseguest at dinner. The old mother even goes as far as calling her daughter a whore and slut and accuses her of sneaking guys in at night to sleep with them. Halfway through the film, when one girl finally decides she better wander off to find help, the killing begins.
As far as the acting goes, this film is at the bottom of the barrel. NONE of the three stranded girls can act, particularly the "lead" girl. It is almost unbelievable to hear them deliver their lines in the same, wooden tone throughout the film. The mother and daughter are better, but not much. The film is also quite dull in parts and really, really drags. The killings are gruesome, but nothing we haven't seen before. However, as mentioned on here, the film really gains points with it brilliantly disturbing and gory ending. It comes totally from left field and has the same shock value as the ending the the camp classic "Sleepaway Camp." Unfortunately, the rest of the film is a bore and suffers from horrendous acting and boring, boring pacing. The isolated, creepy looking mansion and the dark, foreboding lighting does give the film a grainy realism, but that is quickly shattered when one of the characters attempts to act. It may be worth it if you can stick it out until the end, but I say you are better off just fast forwarding to the last 10 minutes. 4 out 10
Tower of Blood (2005)
Could have been better.
I was excited when I spotted this film on the shelf of my local Blockbuster. Judging from the box art and the blurb on the back, it sounded like it could be a slasher film in the traditions of the slasher explosion of the late 70's and 80's. I love that genre. Films such as "Slumber Party Massacre," "The Burning," and "Hide and Go Shriek" just don't get made anymore. But on to "Tower of Blood." The plot is pretty flimsy-a group of teens decide to party in an abandoned high rise building, only to be killed off by a masked killer armed with a machete. Now, if you are a fan of slasher films, there is certainly worse than this out there. What this film has going for it is its atmosphere and setting. The building is indeed creepy, although I would hesitate to call it a tower. I believe it has three stories to it? The director does a good job of controlling the lighting--there always seems to be just a tint of red in each scene that gives the film a sense of dread. As for the gore, and isn't bad for a slasher film made in 2005, where gore in horror films is becoming quickly a thing of the past due to conservation pressure and calling for "family entertainment." There is a decent decapitation, though it becomes painfully obvious that the head is plastic. Also, two teens gets impaled a'la Friday the 12th Part 2 with a machete.
The films downfalls come from its extremely slow pace and lack of charisma and enthusiasm of the cast. It's a fairly short film, not even over 80 minutes, I believe, but the pace is incredibly slow. Once the teens (thought most of them look to be in their thirties) arrive at the Tower, we are exposed to several long, boring scenes of them chatting, and playing with a Ouija board. And while the cast members are pretty to look at, none of them will be winning Oscars anytime soon. However, that stuff COULD be forgiven if it wasn't for the terrible, terrible, off the wall ending that makes absolutely no sense and leaves the viewer confused. Those if you who have seen the 80's classic "Slaughter High" will be familiar with the type of ending this film has. Utter stupidity that really brought an OK slasher flick down a few notches. However, I suppose I would recommend this film to die-hard slasher fans. You certainly aren't going to get anything new here, but the last 15 minutes or so of the film are pretty decent, up until that cheesy ending!!!!!! 4 out of 10