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Reviews
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
Brilliant
The entire thing is a parody. It's subtle, but that was the point. All the other reviews apparently missed that the handyman was working on a mailbox for three weeks, or the detective that casually has a regular patrolman as a partner. The entire premise is based on Lifetime movie specials where a regular woman witnesses a murder and no one believes her, now she needs to suspect everyone while piecing together clues. It's a stupid trope that has gone stale long ago but that's why they can parody it so well with such subtle jabs.
Midnight Mass (2021)
It's decent
It's ok. I like the first half of the season. It was kinda up it's own rear though. The monologuing gets kinda old, but it ends up being the false prophet parable. It makes you understand that maybe God isn't what we think if faith is only on the miracles. I'm personally closer to an atheist but the concept is pretty ok with me. It's something I guess needs to be put across in many ways.
The vampires are a cool way to put it all across. The island is creepy and the environment is pretty well done. The sound is mostly well done, but the song selection can be jarring to the atmosphere that they are trying to build. The hopeless feeling of the island is very hit and miss with the majority of the island seemingly being able to afford life there while the message they tell us is everyone is totally downtrodden.
The finale is sadly boring, and is so far up it's own rear that it makes the season of buildup seem wasted. If they kept the Storm Of The Century vibe they started with at the start of it all, we might all be giving this higher praise than Hill House. Sadly, the ending is another stumble for this writer.
The Love Guru (2008)
Pretty terrible
If you could edit out Mike Myers from the movie, I bet the movie would be 100x better.
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
Barely enough gunpowder to keep it interesting
Not much here to really watch. The dialogue is quick and choppy like Kill Bill, without the style that will draw you in. The story is more of an afterthought than a destination.
The settings are well put together and fit the themes, but it feels like the lose their feeling the longer they stay in them. Diners with neon accents and a roadside flavor, turn into quickly into a generic diner between shots. This goes for almost every location. They lose every defining trait as soon as the slow-mo and music hits.
Actresses did the best with what they had, but someone definitely wasn't making sure any aspect of this movie had quality control. One main character is killed in the most disappointing and uninteresting way. The blow that ends up killing her is only heard during a cut to black moment, that robs the moment of emotion.
The action is slowed by the amount of slow-mo shots. Simple action scenes are made unbearable due to amount of film cuts. The amount of camera angle changes during one scene will make you feel dizzy. Some action actually will make you confused and questioning what was even the point. Bullet-impervious bright red Porsche chase scene will make you angry at the production teams entire thought process for this movie.
Music is meh.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Pretty bad
Great actors, terrible concept.
I hate the main character, and there's absolutely nothing worth celebrating in this film. The feminism is shallow at best, makes you want to be a misogynist at worst. The, "you go girl" moments are after she's does something so terrible that we want her to die. The only redemption is she was killed by the first person she screwed in the movie, which is a hollow victory at best. Sorry for that spoiler but it's the only moment worth anything in this sad pathetic pile.
Outside the Wire (2021)
Nothing makes sense, and nothing matters.
Literally nothing makes sense in this movie. The plot is lost from the beginning, and it becomes a series of jumpcuts and stereotypical action shots. I turned off my expectations going into this movie but holy cow it's bad.
The bad guys all drive American cars. The military all drive cars. Except for the 2 MRAPS and an armored robot carrier, I honestly believe the US Marine Corps in this universe has moved to buying Toyota SVU's as tactical transportation. The guns are rediculous, with many characters firing four shots and switching to their pistols that apparently have infinite ammo. I will say the robots are cool so I'll give them that.
The plot, oh god the plot sucks. The big reveal that one of the main characters is a robot is ok, it's done in the first 15 minutes, so not a spoiler. The main character/robot guy just is annoying with his vague orders and broad everything. The other guy (The Lieutenant) is whiny and questions everything and all around is a terribly written character. The movie inserts the trope of the weakest link becoming a certified in the last 20 minutes of the movie, it doesn't work. He's still whiny and he's still incompetent. Honestly worst part of the movie has to be him.
I highly don't recommend anyone with military experience watch this movie as they will probably become enraged and sad at the same time. Netflix, you failed
Jack Whitehall: Travels with My Father (2017)
First two seasons are great. Third season is crap
I loved the first two seasons were amazing, they felt really endearing and real. Their father and son grew their relationship, it felt like something I would love to do with my father. They have a great back and forth, with the son not understanding the father, and the father being stuck in his ways. They had something of a real competition between them on who could find what the other would enjoy. It felt like a real thing between them. The third season feels completely fabricated and scripted. You can literally see where they edited out the moments the other missed the line. There's some great lines in the third season, but the charm of it is gone. I'm not expecting it to ever bring back the magic of the first two seasons.
The A List (2018)
Teen Drama writing
Plot conveniences, terrible characters, poor plot structuring. Plot becomes predictable after the third episode with very little to be found afterwards. Not much going for it. Still better than being scared of the rain.
Another Life (2019)
I'm about halfway through the show
Let's start off with one thing, this is 200% better than The Rain. Characters are better written, the concept is better, the set pieces are better, and the plot makes sense. I'm comparing this to The Rain, as it is by far the worst that Netflix has ever put me through. This show has alot of stupid elements like a lead up to a 3-some, angry sub-captain commiting mutiny, every planet they come across tries to kill them all, space marijuana, and the top of all stupidity: dream sequences. Dream sequences work when you care about the characters, I never cared about them, I just wanted the plot to move forward with it. It has a good concept and the characters have simi believable motivations, instead of Rain kills you and everyone is mentally disabled, so I'll give this show a 6/10 in relation to the worst ever.
Brightburn (2019)
It was satisfying
A well written, well directed film. It got a little slow at parts but if I were to compare it to superhero movies as of late I would say it was fairly better in many ways. The death scenes are really well done too. Only gripes are some normal disbelief moments. I would recommend.
The Rain (2018)
Makes me feel angry due to no one really wanting to survive
There isn't a single action taken by any of the characters that feels smart or safe. Every character feels suicidal due to their total lack of self preservation. It started with a silly premise and ended with an ever building premise of rain bad, we safe but let's kill ourselves. The only time I felt the story was properly written was when they joined the cult. The actors ham it up and play their parts as they need to. The writer room and production staff just have no clue what they need the story to do, so they make every moment a point to freak out over nothing.