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Reviews
Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018)
It could be a prank
Not interesting, not clever, and certainly not funny. I'm not sure if she's pranking the audience or if someone is pranking her by telling her she's funny then letting her go embarrass herself. It's bizarre to watch.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
It's made of plot holes
The basic premise is a plot hole, as outlined in the trailer. If you have time travel tech, you change the past to alter the future. Future tech or knowledge or actions using that future knowledge to alter the past is the power and advantage of time travel. They don't do that kind of thing. They're instead using time travel to recruit handfuls of untrained past citizens (in an alternate timeline, since otherwise killing them would cause paradoxes to the point of ripping the universe to shreds, who have no loyalty or direct connection to the future they come from) to die like flies without a stated goal or purpose.
I went in on the power of Chris Pratt and JK's acting chops, assuming a twist. Because they're obviously not who they say they are, and they're obviously not doing what they say they're doing. It's a mystery. It's transparent. What's their actual motive? What are they actually doing with these people? Where are they actually from? Is this an alien plot?
Turns out, none of that. The thing that doesn't make any rational sense and obviously isn't what's happening is what's happening. And the movie just goes on like that. Things happen. They don't really make sense. There are a few interesting ideas but they're not connected by any sort of coherent plot.
It feels like a rushed first draft that no one bothered to read. And that makes it kind of boring when they drag things out. And oh, they drag things out endlessly. They don't bother inserting anything that'd make the movie work, they just elongate fight scenes that you don't care about and aren't done very well, or emotional scenes where, since the plot doesn't make sense, the character's lives don't matter. The movie as is could be an hour shorter and better for it. Or better yet, never made.
That said, it could have been made serviceable with a couple hours of editing the screenplay. The future requests elite soldiers from the alternate past to capture a queen, key researchers to develop a bioweapon, and in return for it the alternate past gets the bioweapon before the aliens ever arrive as payment. Works fine. Pratt's acting was good, the CGI was decent enough, with a decent plot it could have been a real movie.
Outside the Wire (2021)
It starts off well.
I liked the movie as a high stakes sci-fi mystery. I was pretty invested in what was really going on. Then the reveal and frankly, I didn't believe it. I thought it was a really stupid misinterpretation by the characters, because it made no sense. Until the moment the credits rolled I was waiting for the real plot. It didn't have one.
The Flash: Revenge of the Rogues (2015)
The disappointing return of a disappointing villain.
In the comics, Snart may be an iconic villain, but in the show, all I can think the entire time is... "why is he a threat?". His superpower is owning a short range gun that happens to have unique ammunition; but ammunition, if anything, less dangerous than standard bullets. Barry could disarm him and beat him to a pulp faster than Snart could pull the trigger, taking him out with absolute minimal effort or risk. There is absolutely zero reason for the Snart story arc to last more than the half second it takes Barry to deal with him. He's unbelievable as a threat. It makes any part of the show where he's the primary motivator tedious rather than entertaining.
His partner is simply more of the same, another unbelievably harmless cliché.
Quietly disappearing them, never to be seen again, is an option to consider.
What should really happen though, seeing as Snart's an important part of the comics, is that he gets more dangerous. Give him some tech that actually makes him a plausible threat. Give him some serious body armor and a predictive targeting system. Or a cold field that makes him dangerous to approach. Just something, anything that makes him dangerous.
As of right now, I'm really tempted to just go do something else when I see that he's part of an episode.
The Maze Runner (2014)
A film that's hard to take seriously.
This movie could be ended with a ladder. And they have all the materials to build one. That simple fact sucks all the drama out of it. They're in there because they choose to be. While the whole premise is kind of silly and senseless; compared to the ladder problem, the other giant logical holes just kind of fade into the background. I have trouble really caring about any of the characters, as without actually being trapped, they're just kind of camping in a really dangerous place. If they get hurt,it was their own decision to put themselves at risk.
Not that the reason they were put in there makes any sense; the plot doesn't work regardless. However, there's no real reason to analyze further when the ladder issue just sucks all the life out of it right from the start.
47 Ronin (2013)
A very divisive epic
This film is a very loose translation of ancient Japanese mythology, that pretends to be an accurate retelling, and goes a bit overboard when trying to make certain sections accessible to American audiences. It also borrows heavily from other films in its basic plot.
That said, it's a visually stunning film with strong character development, emotional impact, and sparse but well executed combat. The final confrontation is especially well done.
And for all the cliché it boasts, it features an ending that is rooted heavily in context to the point that it's jarring and upsetting, but unquestionably valid and appropriate. For me, that makes up for a lot. It's unique in a way that plays heavily against the stereotype that plagues so many Hollywood tales.
In the end, you're going to love it, or you're going to hate it. There's not much room for middle ground. If you forgive it its flaws, it's hard to deny it's wealth of well executed elements. If you can't, hate is assured.
Either way, it's worth the gamble.
Gravity (2013)
A movie where it's very hard to suspend disbelief
If this movie was fantasy, or set in another universe, or science and realism were just brushed to the side, I could enjoy it. But it's not. It's a movie that depends on its realism, focuses on it, and utterly fails at it.
First, high school physics. From the basic premise, to the minute to minute action, to the conclusion, this movie depends on physics. And one thing this movie fails at completely, is physics. Both the initiating event and the final heroic sacrifice are completely unsupportable and end up being annoying and distracting rather than emotional because of it.
The movie also fails at the geography of space, putting objects thousands of miles away within spitting distance; in fact the initial premise of the movie depends on this failed geography, two objects thousands of miles away from each other being in exactly the same orbit.
And then they set up the main character as a nearly untrained, emotionally disturbed woman without any special skills. There is never a convincing reason given for her being there. The qualifications for being a fully mission integrated astronaut are exacting, and the only way I can see anyone getting around them would be as a PR stunt, or if someone was a top level expert who would be valuable to the mission in some special way. So far as we can tell, she's not a PR stunt, and she's not a mission critical expert. She's just there. And after sticking her there for no apparent reason, the movie depends on her inexperience and lack of training to add tension and advance the story.
It's ridiculous. I find it completely impossible to take the movie seriously, when it seems every plot point turns on something unbelievably unrealistic.
The high budget, a-list actors, and high quality special effects make it watchable... but nothing could make it enjoyable.
Looper (2012)
Don't do it for the Sci-Fi
The time travel is handled poorly, inconsistently, and is something that you have to work very hard against to suspend disbelief. The logical flaws involving paradoxes start early and pretty much gut the entire plot. Someone should have time traveled to destroy the screenplay for this thing.
That said, it's a passable gangster movie/drama and has some interesting shootouts with a lot of atmosphere and style in a unique world that I had no trouble appreciating. It also lays down some good drama, and the acting isn't anything to complain about, with more than acceptable performances all around. It's worth watching, in spite of everything.
If you can ignore the bad sci-fi, it's quite possible to enjoy the ride. Just do me a favor, and if they ever make a novel out of this... don't read it. This movie isn't for the plot.