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Reviews
The American Side (2016)
Painful
Take a heavy drinking, down on his luck, chain smoking private eye, who lives in his office and the reminds you is who? I'll give you a hint, there was an annoying cartoon rabbit named Roger in it. That's right Eddie in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" which was a significantly better movie.
In this disaster we have Charlie who talks fast, has the fat, greasy, and bald cop as a frenemy, and too many hot girls he's not getting any tail from. He wears Hawaiian shirts with ties, and blackmails his stings into buying the pictures the wife already paid a certain amount for to prevent her from seeing them.. He uses a stripper who ends up disappearing on a sting with some old as dirt scientist who is some genius as smart as Einstein, but is dealing with Tesla.
Now add in Robert Vaughn (The "Original" Man from U.N.C.L.E) as this scientist 85 year old neighbour who will fight Charlie while wearing a collared shirt, tie, his boxers and lederhosen. Then add Matthew Broderick as the wealthy but stupid, worst bad guy who has some sexual game he plays with his hot as the sun sister. The add this scientist's assistant who is apparently smarter than he is (whatever happened to Igor) and you get.. but wait..
Let's take yet another professor who was being blackmailed by Charlie and make him Charlie's friend who helps him evade bad guys. Let's take Jeanine Garafalo as a faster talking FBI agent , or is she? Add the Serbian version of the FBI (at some point not long ago was known as the KGB) and to top it off.. a billionaire daredevil who has designed what has nothing do with the plot but everything to do with the title of the movie and you find out what "The American Side" really is.
It is something I'd prefer a root canal over then watching this.
Night at the Golden Eagle (2001)
Good Depiction of dead end life
I saw this movie the other night on IFC. I think this movie is meant to show you what life is like at seedy hotel like The Golden Eagle, rather then concentrate on Mic and Tommy's bid for a better life in Las Vegas.
I know first hand what these hotels are like, because in the late summer of 1987, I did a research paper for school and stayed at a place called The Imperial located at 208th and Broadway in NYC. I spent 5 nights as part of my project, and some days was never more scared in my life. There were all kinds of low life and scum that lived there. Most of the room were rented by the hour, for $18 by the owner, a dirt bag named Pablo, at least that was what he was called. He sat behind 3 inch bullet proof glass and everything cost something. There was a nice touch where Rifkin has the front desk guy at the Golden Eagle selling cigarettes for $1 per smoke. Pablo rented you the room for the hour and then charged you for the key, sheets, towels. Prostitutes that lived there or used the rooms all had to report to the pimp who stood in the lobby, who was about 6'6 , covered with tattoos, was missing an eye and carried one of those 'Crocodile' Dundee knives. I think Vinnie Jones character Rodan was tame compared to this guy. I never got his name, but I tried often to avoid this guy. The 3rd night I was there, he really smashed some John's head in.
I paid $8.25 a night for a room the 1st two nights, and $15 a night for the last 3 for a "delux room" which meant it had a bathroom in it and black & white TV. Most of the other rooms where rented out to the bums who washed windshields and managed to get $8.25. Pablo on several nights allowed anyone to sleep on a couch for $5 and could use a bathroom for $3,each time. The garbage was piled high and the place was rank. I learned from an old guy named Walt, who had lived there 10 yrs, Think of Mr. Maynard, that the place was once great in the 40s and 50s. Some of the old timers where just cursed with living too long, as their pensions and social security was not enough to sustain any sort of life.
I befriended a hooker named Isablla, who about 15, maybe 16 who crashed in my room 2 nights, then followed me home after my week was up. I sent her away with $200 and drove her to NJ. I can't say if any ex-cons or recently released cons lived among the others, several residents were minimum wage employees. Minimum wage in 1987 was $3.35 per hour. A bunch were old, some really old. There were bathrooms at the end of all halls which were the only ones on the floors accept for the 4th floor where 'delux rooms" where offered. Hardly any showers worked, and most of the toilets were over flowing.
I thought the movie moved slowly, but I think that was intentional to show the dead end life. There is nothing to do there, most residents are too afraid to venture out side and trouble is everywhere. The part with the dead body in the back alley is so true and Tommy's line "she's a hooker, no one is gonna miss er' " is true. There was one OD while I was there and another wino dead in the stairwell. The cops were nearly invisible, occasionally showing up to harass a pusher or hooker. The last night, one guy ran up the fire escape to get away from the cops and jumped from one roof to the next. Most of the windows were broken and the IRT was running all night. Remember " The Blues Brothers"? I went back 10 years later in 1998, and found that the place was now in control of the Catholic Church and was still a flop house, where bums could only stay a few nights then had to move on. The nuns kept the place as clean as can be, at least the stench was replaced by a Strong disinfectant smell. One nun told me that the building was a crack den before it was raided and then abandoned for almost a year before the church took over. Nowbody had an idea what happened to Pablo, or Walt or if Isabella ever came back.
If you want to know what life is like in cities where this can be your only housing alternative, then I recommend this movie.
Little Nicky (2000)
Hellava waste of money
After I saw "Wedding Singer", "Happy Gilmore" and even "Big Daddy" , I was really looking forward to seeing "Little Nicky". Instead I found myself praying for my soul, because I was in Hell for 90 minutes. The basic plot was a great idea, but missed it's mark by a continent. I remember when "Saturday Night Live" was not funny, I could change the channel. The only bright spot was John Lovitz part in the very beginning and his usual antics, too bad it was only 3 minutes long and there is another 87 minutes of pure torture. All I can say is the very talents of Harvey Kietel, Rodney Danderfield, Allen Covert and even Dana Carvy are wasted on this disaster; I hope they got paid plenty because with another role like that, they're all going to Hell. 1/2*