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7 Days in Hell (2015)
too dumb
I used to love him in SNL jeopardy and such but this movie is too far out and is more like a sketch that is way too long. So many jokes that wont make you laugh as you have seen it all mostly in others movies, sketches and youtube. Nothing new here but a repeating pattern of old sketches in one movie and I didnt laugh once but only smiled 2 times and I was counting!
It's fun he got all these famous people to participate in it but how he did it one can only speculate. It's a movie with a mix of just random ideas around one concept. The most fun thing is the concept of a tennis match lasting 7 days.
I was impressed in the beginning where footage did look vintage and as a film nerd i liked the filter on it that looked like a VHS but only 15min into the movie the quality of it all went away and even the editing of the swedish tv show made no sense as it didnt match the time of the movie and if you want to do a movie as a spoof but then fall out of your own concept its just sad.
Too many nonsense sketches that werent funny and this is only for fans of the actors that might have a, what i call, low sense of humor.
There is always low quality humor in these types of movies about sex and nakedness and it's just lame and seen hundreds of times. If this movie was released 20 years ago it would be funny now its already outdated.
It could have been fun but wasnt.
I rather see an episode of Family Guy that has more jokes and sketches that works in one episode instead of a long sketch movie like this.
The Great Wall (2016)
Horribly bad but somewhat entertaining
I kinda knew this would be a bad movie but then again it's chinese and they have a tradition to overly satuate the story and the visuals. Its like a tradition for them to make things look and feel like a fake fairytale of a legend. The script is pretty low but not too many horrible cliches but this movie should have been made in the year 2000 as its way too outdated in both script and performance on all accounts. Im glad there was some humor in it to easen up the writing and scenes. It was way too animated on all counts too. Even our leading woman in it looked like something out of midjourney and had fake looking sceenes. It feels like everything was shot on a green screen and it has no realism to it. I wish they would stop making movies this bad and just make this into a little better tv show instead. It's way too long for what it is but I did like the cinematography some of the time.
Instead they should have made a movie about the lost kingdom of Tartaria - that would have been something! :-)
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Predictable and lame - but classic
There is only one big talent in this movie and thats the little girl, Piper Rubio. Well played and believable. Thats the best cast.
Josh Hutcherson have done good movies but this was just below what he should have said yes to. But bills to pay maybe and thats fair. But movies like this can ruin all chances to get into better movies.
Special effects where comical but I did enjoy the 80s theme that made the mechanical dolls more realistic.
Story line is awful but better than most 1 star horror movies.
It was a bit too easy with storyline and just the writing wasnt very strong at all.
The visual theme or look of the movie was nice and exciting. The cinematography nice but a bit too classical which I believe they where going for.
Every time you put Josh Hutcherson in a movie you just know where its going. He is so type casted that even a lead role like scream movie, you knew where it was going. He really didnt pull it off well in the end of the movie and the writing for the character ruined his good performance as the job-offering guy.. You always know why he is in a movie and thus very early this was ruined by the sterotypical teen-horror casting.
It did entertain but also far fetched story. The dream-like connection between real life and dreams was a nice touch and made it somewhat more believable but not scary but more just horror-ish.
I have to mention Elizabeth Lail as she did very well in the beginning of playing a bit off-character person that has secrets and is mysterious but also a victim, Well done too.
I wouldnt recommend the movie as there are far better things to watch in a short life - but if you are fan of any of the main characters then it can be entertaining. And if you havent watched horror movies from the 90s and 00' then you wont realize the plot too early. This has a bit of copy paste to it though.
Enjoy.
Enola Holmes 2 (2022)
Clearly for teenagers
It's all a soft landing. They have children logic and even if it has great talent in it it's just too dumb and easy to foresee what will happen.
The drama is slow and more like a typical fairy tale in another setting. They have used the classic almost Disney like but just lame in its way where a teenager can beat up a grown police man. So much potential but the director or script may think we as viewer / audience are idiots.
The cast is great and sometimes the sonography is very well done. The costumes and interior most places is very well made.
The humor is a bit lame too. I like how our main character is is smart but it just seems like she lacks a bit of realism. And a bit too fairytale.
Babylon (2022)
Tries too hard - at least 3 hours and 9min too long!
Tries too hard - at least 3 hours and 9min too long... What a hoax it must have been for the cast to see this. It tries to promote a storyline and a natural unfolding of a classic story but fails horribly. A wannabe mix of Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge and Quentin Tarantino with a touch of Guy Ritchie but the story falls apart. Classic Oscars type of movie that is just too artistic to be taken serious - and I mean TOO ARTISTIC. I would not recommend this movie to anyone even if the cast is great the direction is not. Im so sad to see this wasnt as good as everyone hoped. If you have 3 hours to spare then start watching some of the Direction from the other directors I mentioned. This doesnt tell you much about hollywood films you dont already know other than its a tough business and that Hollywood picks you up and spits you out as its driven by corruption and greed for money and fame. Sad that we all praise it so much. I hoped it showed more of the backside of Hollywood and it's unbelievable abuse of people and their many underground clubs and groups of people exploiting the broken talents.
Samaritan (2022)
Bad script and low end direction.
It just reeks of bad writing. The direction is not good either. So many awkward lines and nonsense directing that just makes it all seem like a b movie. It's too bad. One of my old friends plays in it and at least he does a good job. Even the boy in the leading role is the reason why it's tolerable watching. There are obvious dubbing in it too so you know there has been rewriting of the script and re-editing. It has potential the first 35min and then it went downhill.
The CGI is horrible too. Deepfake does a better job. It's just way too corny. I think it's made for teens from 14-18 because other people would see the movie mistakes - helpfully... I enjoyed some of it.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Nonsense and lost in its own universe
Sadly I don't belive in honest reviews anymore. They will be deleted I'm sure. There is no chance this movie got over 7 in review unless the Chinese didn't dare to do otherwise.
I am chocked to know that all these good actors would participate in the nonsense and no good movie. It's incredibly horrible and confused as well as lost in its own universe. I don't know which is worse, the writing or direction. Maybe even both.
They even play around with satanism in this movie pretending that it's the good.
Disney is confused and is now confusing their fans.
Who buys the hero stories like these anymore? Shouldn't we at least expect more? No spoiler but the end is laughable and lame on a classic level of self belief with mirroring remorse from a psychopath's perspective. The classic journey of self development and shadow sides.
This movie was a mistake. It took the otherwise amazing dr. Strange and broke the image of quality and simplicity that he was in his first movie. This is a mockery of mr. Cumberbatch's talents and performance. One might get wealthy in cash to make a movie for Disney like this - But will lose one's soul and essence in the process.
It has turned into a long load of nonsense of bad writing and cliches that's embarrassing. Like any super hero movie the heroes wait to attack or defend until we have seen their facial reactions and these typical one liners or long "dramatic" talks, while dramatic music plays in the background.
The biggest problem for these movies are that we all still pay to see them and take high ratings serious when clearly they have been messed with.
Hollywood has sold their souls to money making and not quality or art anymore.
Cruella (2021)
Nonsense and foolishly bad
How unrealistic is this horrible movie. The storyline sucks so bad! A bunch of overacting and nonsense.
It's even worse than any cartoon or animation would be.
So her mom dies after a random event of dogs on a leash suddenly don't have a leach on them for no reason. They chase the girl and jumps over her when they finally have her and for no reason jumps over the kid and pushes her mom off a cliff but doesnt fall down. Then the kid blames it on herself that dogs killed her mom by accident. Why and how!? 10 Years Later the dogs are still alive and growls at her at a party...
Later she trips over a table even though she earlier told a story of what a pro Theif she is. And as a cleaning lady falls asleep in a window presentation - which again makes no sense. It's like whoever wrote this took many many shortcuts just to tell a no good story.
It doesn't have any Disney magic other than the costumes and interior.
It's foolishly clumsy the way it tries to tell the story.
Also I don't understand the sudden need to tell every villain's story and make them feel empathetic when we grew up on the fact that they where psychopaths. What is the message in this - that we should want to be alike them or sympathize with psychos?
Don't waste your time on this movie if you easily find movie mistakes. I saw it with two kids and they laughed about how bad the storyline and that it made no sense how things happened.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Laughably bad!
I can't believe that they produced this movie! The first was watchable but this is just horribly written and bad directed it's as it's made for small kids. I am blow away that this has gone into production. They had all great actors but failed to make a believable movie. I liked that they tried to make it look like the 80ies. But that's it. So sorry you made this and we watched it.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Well played
It always pleases me to watch a well written story. Although it was a bit predictable it had many good moments due to the lead role as she is so very talented. Sometimes there was a bit overacting or let's call it a little too much child-action when it was overly dramatic for no reason.
I was very entertained and I loved how the story unfolded but the where some corrections to be made if you ask me.
The scene where she fights the killer for the first time, she was almost waiting and being extra slow in the whole scene and he could have killed her many times realistically. Also he stabs her and they both very veeeery slowly just stands there.
We never see or hear the story or at least sees some scars on the killers face after the explosion.
When she fails at fighting him she takes long breaks where as if her mother taught her that she should be quick and no that hesitant.
The scene where she and the boy runs from mycrafts detective and barricades themselves in the room makes no sense as she doesn't fight him to avoid being caught. She herself could at least tried to escape or gotten revenge on the woman that ratted on her. Makes no sense to give herself up.
Also shortly after she gives mycroft all her money instead of just keeping a little bit herself. Or not just cry when he yells at her.
At the school she doesn't try to escape earlier. Makes me puzzle like she wanted to stay.
When she finds the boy in the flower market it's not like they are trying to hide or run even though they talk about being in great danger. Puzzles me.
When they steal the car our lead role yells the boy in his face about why they should go to his estate and examine the situation. While she yells it turns into a very odd scene as she looks at him for a very very long time!?
When they examine the boys estate they drive there in a noisy car parking it close and the later say "they know we are here"... how would they know first of all that you would arrive by car!!!?
When the boy is shot she literally waits until the grandmother shoots her!! Why!? No running from an old woman. They had all the time in the world. The boy had no chance of knowing if the grandmother would shoot him in the face or legs or so or if she would miss... makes no sense that he care free let's her shoot him! Just bad direction as many other times.
There where a few more moments that just got me out of the movie cringing over how a scene failed. But with the lead roles and the quality of acting and the well spoken dialects it pulled me in again. Luckily.
I would wish that Scherlock Holmes would have been a more interesting character. He was very silent and boring the entire movie. Not as smart as he was supposed to be. The fact that he was so slow kinda made it nonsense that he would be this famous in the movie. Just felt off to silence the role and not make a bigger character out of him. A character to look up to or to at least have weirded us out a bit. But no.
All in all I enjoyed it though cursing at some scenes didn't help haha.
The Lorax (2012)
The songs killed the movie
The songs are just the worst and feels like it the was no time spend on the lyrics. Just horrible.
The storyline could be so much better.
Characters where lovely but never evolved really and had no real depth to them.
It's a simplified version of "Don't let the economy decide what success is".
The animation is perfect and nicely done.
So a better story and just 1-3 song with good lyrics could have made this a huge success. But this is a bit stupid as it is.
Voice actors ruled.
The High Note (2020)
Started out okay
When I realized this movie is for clichè girls and people who don't know how music is made or recorded. Its as bad as "fifty shades of gray 2". It's all so unrealistically perfect and lame. It really has potential but it was just over the top cliché. If you saw the trailer then you saw the movie. All that you expected happens. All love scenes will be what you guessed would happen and all embarrassing scenes will be lame. I'm sorry to be this hard on this movie. I am just ashamed and sad that the movie industry think we are so stupid that we buy into overacting and bad cliches. And I am sad that many people do.
This movie can be summed up in one sentence:
She has a dream but lies when asked about it but falls in love and fails and loses all hope until she gets her final chance and becomes a success.
And btw I wrote the above review 1/3 into the movie and waited to post it until I finished the movie... and you know what - I was right!
Murder Mystery (2019)
Horrible idiotic
This movie might be for teenagers as it was so dumb and unrealistic idiotic. Adam Sandler had a few funny real comments but he kinda ruined the whole movie by playing sometimes totally stupid and sometimes too clever. So unreal and lame. Too many small comic reliefs and it was often a low blow comedy.
The score was good but it didn't match this bad movie. The production seemed good and worth it but the lines and situations was stupidly cliche and I am sorry I wasted my time. At least I can warn others that this is not worth it. They had the money and the budget and the actors to make a great film but failed just to get cheap laughs.
Sorry but it could have been great.
Reprisal (2018)
Laughable
It had potential with the cast but then bad writing and really bad direction made it go downhill from there. Then the editing and cuts where so horrible and made absolutely no sense some of the times.
Characters behaving weird and unnatural. Why would our main character want to be so close to the main bad guy - what was his passion of doing that when having his family to take care of. Why didn't the bad guy recognize him when he fights him at the 2nd robbery... when the robber had his picture hanging in the factory on the wall...
why would our main character drive so close to someone he is spying on when he doesn't want to be seen.
The monologue by Bruce in the end of the ambulance was maybe one of the worst I have seen. "These people have been through enough - this is on me!" Wtf!?
Their kid also really needed acting lessons though she has no real lines. But she just threw me off. I am sure she could be better with a better director and writer.
What happened to the music score which spiked at weird times too!!
Worst of all was that scene where Bruce shoots the bad guy and he falls over the railing and smoke comes up... then it cuts to a scene where he just lies in concrete... uuuuuh where did the smoke come from then?!! So horrible and slobby!!
Unicorn Store (2017)
Did very little for me.
Watched with my gf who is a dreamer but none of us got interested much in it. Very confusing and irrational. Main character seems either to suffer from being emotional borderline or similar. She keeps being childish and untamed as she moves through life and as I can see in the comments, some people can relate.
I can't relate and I work with people and I love knowing various types of people. But this persona as a main character (is well played by the way) is not realistic or believable but I blame the writing and not the acting.
Why Jackson was in this movie I had no idea. I feel like someone should have explained something in the intro that never was mentioned for us to better understand what the meaning of the story is.
For all I know the plot of the film was to show that if you believe in yourself anything can happen and you might not need all the stuff you think you need. You just have to open your eyes and see the world through more grown up eyes and not be so selfish that you forget that other people will love you too if you love yourself and your life first.
Well that's how I saw it and I though it was a little waste of time with some of the unbelievable scenes in the first half of the movie. Then after she has a talk with her mom about mid way in the film - it gets better and more believable.
For me it was a post teenage movie and it good for young girls around 17-25 years old. Others should watch something else.
The actors performance was good enough though.
Siberia (2018)
The ending takes all the potential away
Wow am I dissatisfied with the ending. All that trouble for nothing. Just seem like such a pointless story. The roles are well played and everything but that abrupt ending to a slow story just seems lazy and careless with an actor like Keano. It's fine that it all ends bad - but like that is just too basic and no poetry behind that. It's like taking a dump on the entire movie- not to mention us the viewer and the time we spend to get to the conclusion of nada.
What a waste of time and good efforts.
Creed II (2018)
Can't believe how cliche it was
To sound like a teenager: OMG! It was comedic how cliche it was. From 5min into the movie I could say what would happen next. All the talk and faces filled with pain or mischief was just boring the heck out of me.
I felt more for the Drago character and all the harsh stuff he goes through and it seemed that it could have been a better movie had the movie ended with Drago winning - then I would watch the next.
All the hardcore behavior of our main character and Rocky seemed forced and out of balance with how movies and real life is today. I felt the movie tried to be 1980 in a 2018 setting. Awkward. I seriously laughed so many times that my girlfriend thought I was watching a comedy. There are countless scenes that are so forced that I is just too much that I had to laugh at how poorly written and directed it was.
I love 1980 films by the way but not when it's supposed to be in the present with so many unnatural behavior / overacting from our main characters.
I am sad that I was so disappointed - I really wanted to like it. It was too "look a me I am so tough like a real man" and then it justed forced. Made them look weak and as predictable as a punching bag.
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)
The most messy of all the movies
I love these movies and the first is one of my all time favorites. This one is way more messy in the actions taken throughout the movie. It's clear that all ratings are given by fans like me. But I expected way more from out human main characters. I don't feel we got as deep as the other movies. We bearly touched the surface of emotions if the characters if you ask me.
I felt way more connected to the earlier movies especially the first movie.
I loved the part about dragon paradise. I wanted more of that.
The bad guy was okay but seemed a little lame at times. Too weak and I kinda got surprised that he might be dead if not he survived the fall. Also the bad guys motives seemed a bit too weak for his characters intelligence. It seemed more like a revenge plot but in the story it doesn't go that deep. He just does it to "finish the job" or feel that the attention he gets from it makes it worthwhile. While he sees that the Vikings has tamed the dragons he still doesn't believe in it and for his intelligence it seems out of character that he doesn't believe in the fact that he can see that the Vikings has befriended the dragons - it's right there in from of his face and we still don't get explained why he doesn't acknowledge the fact.
The whole joke about one of the youngsters being in love with the mom was weird and out of place. Didn't understand the fun or why it was part of the story line. It felt misplaced to try to draw up a fun side of a character.
The kid with the baby dragon was kind of pointless and compared to how many times it was shows it only really got useful one time that really didn't do much either.
Why is it that when toothless with his new tail goes after the white female dragon that all the other dragons doesn't follow. But when he is captured then suddenly all the other dragons stupidly follow him?!
When our main character falls from the sky near the end why doesn't he fight back the bad guy but just passively falls while the bad guy pulls off his wings. Makes no sense.
Toothless is clearly great at smelling females and other things. But when the movie ends he doesn't recognize Hiccup. He doesn't smell him at all or attacks. He just wait for the famous hand gesture. Seems a bit much and I get where they are going with this.
The bearded (non bearded) character seemed to get too much attention. I feel the strong characters are hiccup, his girlfriend and the mother that should have been more in focus.
It felt a bit messy and too many small scenes that made no real sense or attributed to the storyline.
I feel there are too many weird scenes with no point or conclusions. Cut away like 15-30min of the movie and it might get close to the feeling I had with the first movie.
But I must say I was entertained though the movie sometimes was kid like (and we have grown up since the first movie) and a few times boringly cliché.
The animations are sooo awesome and still true to the first movie's style and quality / looks but then still being amazing and beautiful.
I recommend the movie though it was my least favorite.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Wasn't what I expected
That this movie has been nominated does not make any sense. Songs where dull and not a single song that I will joyfully sing along to.
It was very boringly longidoseoffius horribullshathosius waste of timeforus wish it was marvelousius but it was all over the place and atrocious compared to the originalscoreius.
Blunt was great as Mary, but the rest was a bit too much of a bad tale like a Fairy...
The idea of continuing the old classic was great but the finished project of a movie didn't do much other that I wanted to see the first movie again.
I am sorry that all the effort was not worth it. They should have renewed it somehow. Made it more modern or made better catchy songs. It felt very forced and I forced myself to finish it but it did nothing for me.
Great for small kids maybe. Very small.
Green Book (2018)
Made me proud
Made me proud of Viggo as a fellow Dane. What an amazing performance! Ali played a perfect role in this movie.
I will not spoil it but this has been the most fun, dramatic and most important movie I have seen this year!! The story is amazing and it makes me proud that we are finally living in a world where this story can be told and is watched with open arms (in majority of the world).
I do hope this wins many oscars!
Thank you for an amazing experience.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
An important movie!
I really see why this movie is important. Especially for the young black community whose hopes and dreams should have always been possible. But history has told us a different story of struggles. That's why this animated movie makes sense and why I wonder as a white male living in Scandinavia - why it has not been made before? Or where the black Superman is. We have black panther but still.
Anyways. Apart from the politics and history I had hoped the story had more guts and less of the cliches. Too many loose ends in my opinion. As this is not a spoiler I will not get into them. But animation wise I have never seen anything as wild and interesting as this. It was a mix of all comic book styles ever imagineable and with 3D animation. That detail is amazing. I felt I was sometimes reading a comic book and I haven't read one in over 20 years.
Sorry but the lack of an interesting story and too many cliches made me rate it lower. But the fact that a black Spider-Man exist now made me give it more points. Thumbs up to the production and characters plus the voice actors.
Christopher Robin (2018)
Felt like a Child again
It's fantastically well made. The characters are them selves and what a treat that is! You will feel at home if you have had a connection of them previously in either cartoons or books. It made me laugh out loud of the characteristics of each animated character.
Some of the non-lead actors could have been less overacting but that could also have been the directing maybe. Some scenes didn't feel real like the most of the scenes actually did.
Thanks to this beautiful movie I felt like a child again and I am in my late thirties and I watched it alone :-) What a joy not feeling like I am a total Heffalump!
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
More like Crazy cliché British asians
The fact that this was nominated for best motion picture is a big mystery. Sure it has funny moments and is well choreographed but it is so cliche and fake and in many ways horrible how they are portrayed in this movie. There is not one ugly or normal looking Asian in the entire movie! The music score is like a Disney movie or Dallas series.
So much overacting, superficial, materialistic, over-smiling and fake "perfect" people. And it's wonderful that it's possible to make a movie like this but it is not my cup of tea. It's reminds me of scrolling through Instagram of oversaturated filters on top of wannbe rich people.
Apart from some of the main characters doing a good job of acting I'm so annoyed how perfect everything is in this movie but also at the same time so much out of place. It feels like an American interpretation of how it is in Asia. Makes no sense!
You could have made this movie into a series with crazy rich Americans, crazy rich brits and so on. It would be more of the same movie with other faces.
It just feels like a typical high school movie with teenagers comparing breast sizes and so forth. No real depth or interesting story - not even a feel of what real love is... I am just glad that the movie score makes it feel like you want to watch just 2 min more - it gave me hope.
Sure it's well made and it's clear to see the movie budget was big but that doesn't make it a good movie. Unfortunately.
I am confused why mainstream thinks this has potential to be a best movie of the year and whose money paid to make it become top of the list?!
From start to finish you can guess what will happen...
I am so disappointed.
Take Every Wave: The Life of Laird Hamilton (2017)
Who wants to glide free over the Waves?
After seeing this documentary with some old hounds howling for waves and action... I thought it was like an old 90ies documentary but man was I wrong! Awesome guys and beautiful footage of waves and water that makes you dream an be curious if you could change your life and just be a surfer and love the oceans gigantic waves like Laird Hamilton does! What a passionate guy and what a fantastic team of guys that all look like someone who was born under the sea. The story of a bunch of passionate guys with a drive that is original and so very interesting. Great story. Thanks for the inspiration. I will now go and search for bigger waves in my life passion.
Robin Hood (2018)
First half is good
The first half of this movie was great and then it became a borrowing of scenes from other classic movies. Costumes looked like Star Wars sometimes. Lines sounded like the kingsmen and lock stock and two smoking barrels. Action was a mix of the old mad max and old blade runner. CGI was like Van Helsing. Love scenes where horrible cliches and not very charming as I had hoped. Cutting and editing was very fast and often just a blur. And a lot of scenes like King Arthur.
This movie had very much potential and it kept its promises the first half. The rest was a bit pointless and had no charm. I would have loved to give it big credits with that great cast in a movie but not this time. It wanted to do too many things at once and clearly thought that the moviegoers where absolutely idiots thus so many things made no sense to the storyline.
Watch the old Robin Hood movies like the one with Kevin Costner or Men in tights which is quite funny. I enjoyed them more.