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KaptainTuttey
Reviews
You Don't Know Me (2021)
A great advert for abolishing the BBC license fee.
Films and programmes used to tell fantastic stories, that at times could be a little unrealistic. Show righting in 2022 has reached epic levels of absurdity and this show is a good example. Too much nonsense to mention but a couple of whoppers include the judge allowing the protagonist's Jackanory story time for the jury, and why didn't Jamil simply tell the glocks that hero has kyra? Instead he keeps quiet thereby jeopardising his business and his life. I had to watch it to the end for its comedy gold but please don't watch this crap if you value your time.
Lightyear (2022)
Far better than expected.
Lightyear is a great story and I assume the low scoring of the movie is a backlash from annoyed fans over replacing Tim Allen, and woke messaging throughout the messaging. I get it, kids movies should be free of ideological messaging and if Tim Allen was replaced because of his political leanings, then I completely understand the backlash. However, my subjective review is that this tells a great story, although the time travel aspect will be confusing for kids, but overall my 4yr old lad and I enjoyed it. The identity of Zurg was the biggest downer for me and I wish they had taken a different direction, but in summary I would go watch this movie with kids if you're at a loss for something to do. I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Lacks excitement, boring, overall? disappointing!
It's just boring. If it wasn't Star Wars, I would have dumped it after the first episode. So much wrong but I will focus on ep4 to illustrate the poor writing. Reeva believes Obi-wan is dead, so mission accomplished for Reeva. Vader will be pleased and regard her by granting her grand inquisitor. Yet she proceeds to interrogate Leia on the whereabouts of the "path" (or something like that. I was so disinterested I don't really know what the path is). Why would Leia have knowledge of the path? She's not part of the resistance and only spent a few hours in the tunnel system on the mining planet of episode 3, but Reeva threatens Leia with torture. Nonsense writing. The escape at the end of the episode deserves a mention, as it's a shambolic comedy. The way the rebel fighters first attack is awful CGI and it's laughable how they didn't crash. Funnier still is the way Reeva throws the "picnic cool box" at Wade, and success in blowing him up. The show is a mess.
Death to 2021 (2021)
Incredibly unfunny.
Whilst this rubbish is pro vaccine propaganda it is not my main problem with the show. It's just so boring and unfunny. The level of humour is on par with horrible histories and I have no problem with the latter as it is over the top nonsense aimed at children. There is nothing clever or witty about this show and it boggles the mind how the writer(s) could ever get work on a Netflix show.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
S1 great! S2 mediocre. S3 boring. S4 hilarious!
I've clung to this show hoping that it will again have the brilliance of S1 but sadly it's become a jumbled mess of nonsense. S1 was gripping and terrifying because it was believable.
Nothing in s4 is believable. There are stupid plot conveniences such as Moira bumping into June during a humanitarian mission to Chicago, and characters behave in completely irrational or contradictory ways. For instance Nick is a commander and could easily flee Gilead yet he is making military decisions. By far the most unbelievable aspect of the show is June herself. Her plot armour has taken away any tension as you know she's always going to get out of any danger, and her selfish, reckless behaviour has made her annoying.
I could easily write a short essay on all the problems with the plot in s4 but I will end on a couple of stupid plots. Why would Tuello give up their greatest asset for 22 nobodies? It sounds cruel but no government would give up an asset that could potentially bring down a totalitarian regime for a few hostages. (Biden has just sacrificed hundreds of his citizens in Afghanistan for nothing more than an attempt to score political points). Far more stupid is that Fred spills his guts to Tuello before he's actually got his freedom. The shows a mess.
The Handmaid's Tale: The Wilderness (2021)
June has become James Bond! Will she next become Rambo?
You have to watch this episode to believe how stupid the show and in particular June have become. Zero realism remains in this once brilliant show and my overall rating has dropped from 9 to 4. I had to give this episode 1 because a drama about the take over of the USA by a totalitarian regime that forces women into sexual servitude, should not make you have fits of laughter.
One more thing. Why is the gilead/Canadian border so porous? You would imagine gilead to secure the borders in a North Korean fashion but instead June and her "mob" can cross over and beat a gilead commander to death. Ironically I can't wait for season 5. The absurdity will be comedy gold as I envisage June going on the run and becoming a Punisher stlye vigilante exacting revenge on gilead, or a Rambo figure who will single handedly defeat the gilead army.
Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)
Hang your head in shame Kevin smith!
Anyone who enjoyed the original series will hate this. It's been infected by the types of ideology that has ruined many formerly great shows over the past 5-6 years. I'm seriously considering cancelling my Netflix subscription as this show adds to a pile of poo churned out by the streaming service. People know what they like and no amount of "sabotage" of the industry will change that. People will move onto other things.
Warrior (2019)
Ridiculous but watchable.
Bruce Lee must be spinning in his grave. From what I have read this program is very loosely based on Bruce Lee's writings and I can't believe his daughter Shannon agreed to have his name associated with this nonsense.
I can understand why so many fanboys rate this show so highly and that is their love of the excess violence and sex.
The story itself is an interesting look at the Chinese community in 19th century San Francisco. The story line involves corruption, racism and of course gang wars. It is the absurd acting and over the top fight scenes that take away ant realism from the show. Episode 5 series 1 had me in fits of laughter as the final showdown of the episode is absurd. You have to watch it for yourself to believe how stupid it is. There's no grit or suspense when every fight scene turns into an episode of the power rangers and you just know our hero will easily prevail.
My final moan is that the Chinese gangsters behave like 21st century frat boys and again it takes away all realism. It would have been far more authentic to have the Chinese speak in mandarin with English subtitles but instead we have the likes of young jun behaving like leonardo di caprio in the wolf of Wall Street. Still worth a watch if you got time on you hands, for instance during a pandemic.
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2020)
So obvious this film has been rushed out for the election
The original film was superb but this sequel is predictable, poorly written and just plain boring. Let me just put out there now that I'm no fan of Trump and my opinion is by no means biased. However the film tries too hard to smear conservatives and it just ends up looking desperate and unfunny.
Furthermore the sense of deja vu is overwhelming as SBC recycled far too much from the original and it just does not work in 2020. Introducing a significantly new character is often a sign of desperation and the introduction of Borat's daughter Tutar is no exception. She's like Scrappy doo in Scooby doo or the sand snakes in Game of thrones. Tutar is another awful character but I understand why she was necessary as Borat is too well known in 2020 to trick people into an interview. It begs the question was this film necessary? I would say definitely not. For me it has soured the Borat character and taken some shine from the original film. SBC is a genius but I can only imagine that he was forced into making this film for political reasons.
Cash and Curry (2008)
Unintentionally the funniest film I've seen for years
This film is so awful you must watch it. I would love to meet the director as I have so many questions. Has he any real insight into Asian or black gangs in London?
On the strength of cash and curry has he had any big offers from Hollywood? Will a directors cut be available on blu-Ray?
I'm going to be hate watching this film for years
Night School (2018)
Kevin Hart is a great stand up but a poor actor
I really like Kevin Hart as a comedian and as a man but his films are poor. This film is just not funny and is in fact quite boring. If you want big belly laughs and splitting sides the. Skip this film and watch one of Kevin's stand up shows instead.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
It really is that bad
Awful plot, forced jokes and absurd action scenes combine to make an extremely cringeworthy film.
Gangs of London (2020)
Ridiculous fight scenes make the show unrealistic.
I expected far more from a show titled Gangs of London. The fight scenes are over the top and what you would expect in a fantasy show like the Witcher rather than in a serious gangster drama. It makes the show absurd and unbelievable. I'm only watched it to the end because I'm running out if things to watch during the pandemic.
The Hustle (2019)
Rubbish. Watch dirty rotten scoundrels instead
This film is a complete insult to the great performances by sir Micheal cain and Steve Martin in dirty rotten scoundrels. The character of Hortense is unfunny and cringe worthy whilst Steve Martin's performance as Ruprit was genius.
Citizen Khan (2012)
Unfunny and predictable. Adil Ray is not a comedian.
It's such a shame that the BBC wasted time and money on this boring show. There are many talented Asian writers worthy of the opportunity given to Adil Ray and it boggles the mind that the bbc allowed Ray to make series after series of poor quality comedy. The comedy makes you cringe and there are no surprises as you can see each punchline coming from a mile away.
Adil Ray is a Dj and not a comic, actor or writer and this certainly shows in citizen khan.
My niece absolutely loved the show from when she was about 4 until she was 7. This proves to me that the comedy is schoolboy toilet humour and that if it should be anywhere on the bbc it should be on cbbc with the likes of Rastamouse, bing and apple tree house. Not at prime time on bbc 1. The only positive I have to say is that the other actors are generally pretty good , especially abdullah afzal who plays Ahmad and you can't help thinking that a great Asian comedy could have been made with these actors had Adil Ray not been involved in any way .
My niece has now turned 8 and no longer finds citizen khan funny. I guess she outgrew it.