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PHDrillSergeant
Reviews
Teeth (2007)
It was great. I NEVER WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN
This movie was really an amazing work of art. Direction, casting, writing and acting, it was definitely worth watching from beginning to end.
This movie is suspenseful and horrific without being overly gory or graphic. Some parts *are* graphic, mind you. However, it is tasteful and horrific at the same time in a way that was brilliantly executed. Jess Weixler is an amazingly talented actress who portrays Dawn in a perfectly believable way. Ashley springer is also a brilliant actor whose performance in this movie truly gave me chills.
That being said, I really have no desire to watch this movie again. While watching it the first time, and not knowing what to expect, I was glued to the screen. However, I have no desire in any way to watch this movie again. A lot of it, I think, is that I know much of the fun of this movie will be lost if I watch it a second time. This is an effect a lot of horror movies have, and I understand that giving a horror film replay value is a very, very difficult thing to achieve. Sure, you can always show your friend s so they can enjoy it as well, but I doubt you will ever enjoy this movie even half as much as you did the first time.
I must say that a lot of independent horror films can learn a lot from this film. Most importantly, that being tasteful when portraying graphic things on-screen can go a long way towards sickening viewers with their own imagination.
Drake and Josh Go Hollywood (2006)
A better title: "Drake and Josh go Hollywhattheheck?"
Allow me to ask some rhetorical questions:
-Why would ANY airport allow an 11 year-old on a plane WITHOUT CHECKING THEIR TICKET?
-Don't you think Megan is a little too smart to get on the wrong plane?
-Why would the most PRESTIGIOUS hotel in Los Angeles allow a single 11 year-old to stay in the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE? Without checking her credit card? Do the words FRAUDULENT CHARGES ring a bell?
-How was Megan allowed to stay in the hotel's PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, which costs a good $15,000 a night (or more) for over a week? Gee, that's over $100,000, plus ROOM SERVICE. Her mom and dad are going to be ticked...
-How did a couple of thugs outwit ARMED GUARDS to get a money printing press?
And just to top it all off, it wasn't really a very funny movie...
Epicenter (2000)
Somebody please kill me.
Gah. Let's go through the "Cliché Movie Checklist" (Patent Pending). Crazy, unbelievable bad guy: CHECK. Lots of explosions: CHECK. Lots of badly-rendered explosions: CHECK. Outrageous accents: CHECK. Matrix-wannabe Russian Mafia bad-guys who speak in English even when they are amongst themselves: CHECK. Guns that have WAY more bullets in a clip than they should: CHECK. Direction that makes you want to pull your hair out: CHECK. Children who are put in the direct line of danger because of parents who are too engrossed in their job: DOUBLE CHECK. Former child porn star turned actress in a lead role: EXTRA CREDIT.
I think one of the biggest problems Epicenter has is that it suffers from "dual plot syndrome". The writer, whatever a dunderhead he or she was, decided on two plots: a microchip that could destroy the world and give the Russian mafia an advantage and lots of money, and an earthquake that not only destroys things, causes explosions, and wrecks lives but also adds a dirty and dusty atmosphere. YIPEE!!
Forget it. THIS IS TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK!!!