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Reviews
The Grand Tour: The Grand Tour: A Scandi Flick (2022)
One of the best
Grab your favourite drink and snacks and buckle up for the next 1hr 39m (not 1hr as incorrectly stated on IMDb) for an entertaining evening with the lads. You know the formula, but rest assured you won't be disappointed. I would urge you to avoid spoilers and watching trailers, it will spoil the surprises. Things start once the mission is revealed and they head off and soon find some tunnels and come up with an idea. That's all you need to know. You will be saying things like "Oh My God...", "He's never going to....", and laughing so hard the neighbours will be banging on the walls telling you to shut up. Plenty of fun all the way, definitely one of their best yet. So glad they walked away from top gear, this is much bolder, and more expensive catastrophic lunacy at its peak.
The Transporter (2022)
Ouch!
Either watch the Jason Statham movies, or the Chris Vance series, but avoid wasting time on this. There's no talent here at all right across the whole project, in front of and behind the camera. It's hard to see what the reason for this really is, or why in a culture of cancelling excellent shows this has even got past a pilot. Amateur and laughable but not in a good way.
The Northman (2022)
Half hour in, bored, no real story going on here.
I'm going to bark like a dog and eat from a bowl on all fours, and avenge my father. Think that's the plot. Bit pathetic, walked out after half hour of losing the will to live. This certainly wasn't anything like the Vikings series, no tension, no suspense, no point really.
Fortress (2021)
Reasonable plot idea executed very badly
Bruce Willis, typically wooden acting, looks like he needs to push out a huge dump with the stupid face squeezes he does. Shannon Doherty, lame and amateur, completely uncomfortable in her role. The black suited infiltrators have no acting ability, can't even hold a gun steady or articulate any of their lines very well, probably some third rate street dealers. If you really have nothing to do and really don't want back the 1h39m runtime then buckle up for a brain dead micro-budget offering. Don't expect too much though.