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2 Lava 2 Lantula! (2016 TV Movie)
5/10
Alright but a bit dull
21 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This film is WAY too predictable, not bad, but not very good either. There is little of the campy fun that makes these films watchable. Neither is there any great tension.

the big wobbly CGI spiders are back, begging to be shot in large numbers with big guns. It seems to me that they are less realistic than in the first film and look very un-scary. Still, it's not the worst either and is okay for a rainy afternoon.
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10/10
A unique piece of television
23 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I'm normally a ray guns and aliens man when it comes to TV sci fi, most 'intelligent' sci fi on telly is too wordy and dull. This is not only the best episode of this series but one of the best hours of TV ever. Like a repertory theatre company the assembled actors on the planet are risen up by the top actor at the centre of it to terrific pitch of simple emotional storytelling.

The ending is almost impossibly moving, like the endiong many people expect to their lives, where it is summarised and comforting but ultimately tragic. The only thing that would make it more moving would be 'after the gold rush' playing over it, or maybe on that little flute thing 'well i dreamed i saw the silver spaceships...'
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1/10
Actually quite impressive
18 October 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I have waited a while, and seen a lot of movies but this is on a par with some old time worst ever movies like the creeping terror or Eegah! and has none of the charm of them.

The main character is so badly acted and obnoxious that I am surprised the posh girl doesn't kill him and eat him on sight. I would have willed one of the monsters to kill the vile little s**t if they had looked in any way realistic (which they don't)

For kids? I wouldn't be so cruel. I can give you a list of hundreds of films better for them then this, both old and new. Frankly it's an insult to anyone old enough to focus their eyes and see in colour.

Positives? It ended. The girl is quite pretty. I never have to see it again
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Independents' Day (2016 Video)
1/10
This movie is remarkable
16 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I am a sucker for these silly scyfy channel films, finding most of them entertaining (in fact there is another independence day rip off called independence daysaster which is pretty good fun) but this is totally toilet. No character, no suspense, no laughs, no thrills.

It really is amazing to think that somebody can make a film about an alien invasion with no fun of any kind in it whatsoever. If this was an experiment in seeing if this was possible then congratulations. If not, can I have 90 minutes of my life back please?

Oh, spoilers. This is a crap version of Independence day with a similar plot but none of the charm.
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5/10
Perfectly okay for a Sunday afternoon
19 April 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Nothing wrong with this film, okay some of it doesn't make any sense, for example why are they the only ones in pompeii, when I can imagine if it lousy with tourists the whole time, and why is the guy out of indiana Jones in charge of an Italian army helicopter. For those who dis this film remember what channel it's on, how cheap it probably was and how much worse most of it's ilk are. it moves quickly, has a pretty girl in it and a good number of explosions. the effects are okay and it sort of makes sense. It's a cheap and cheerful disaster movie, if that's the sort of thing you like (and I do), then cool, watch it, otherwise don't
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7/10
Very good but not the best
13 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This is a very good western, but not a great one. The stars carry the movie somewhat, wouldn't be a patch on what it is without them. James Stewart plays his standard upright citizen, brave but a bit clueless, and John Wayne is, well, John Wayne.

If you want a superb western, watch The Searchers, that is a fully rounded film, this is a bit 2d. Don't get me wrong, this is a good film, but there is a little too much of men with beards with their thumbs in their westcots smoking cigars and wearing hats whilst shouting at each other. There is the germ of a good idea about the passing of the old into the new, but it doesn't quite work partly because John Wayne never seems too bothered about the loss of his girl and his character isn't as rounded as in other films For me the first ten minutes are the best.
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Æon Flux (2005)
4/10
It's a video game! Logans run for people with no attention span
30 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
It's a video game!

The whole way through I expected to be able to control the flying girl and have to get her through a maze, or fight a boss baddie or something.

Compare and contrast with real science fiction dystopias, like Logans Run, or Blade Runner, and it becomes ridiculous and immensely childish. I kept half expecting the characters to walk into the scenery or get stuck in a wall a la Playstation two games of vintage. Everything is clean, bland and overall a bit rubbish.

Deserves a few points for some of the visuals and one or two bits of neat production but apart from that, meh!
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Skeletons (2010)
7/10
Would make a good TV series
18 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
A good film, wilfully oblique but in a sort of Sapphire and Steel in the Peak District kind of way. Strange, but not annoying.

Plus points: Tuppence Middleton and Paprika Steen, amusing nonsensical tommyrot about ghosts and stuff

Minus points: Loses its way a bit, a little too arch in places.

Overall I enjoyed it and would like to see more. I think it would make a good, offbeat TV drama with different mad nonsense stories each episode. I think it would be a good set up.

Watch it if it's on, switch off your brain and relax. It isn't going to make sense so don't try and make it
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The Searchers (1956)
What can I add? This is timeless
17 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
To answer any queries as to why this is such a highly rated film, it's because it has a huge sweep, and is John Waynes best film by a million miles.

It shows a depth of character he rarely even attempts, as he searches for revenge almost endlessly. When he comes out of the gorge having seen something truly horrible, the look on his face when he says 'don't ever ask me' is genuinely harrowing.

This film is all about him and he carries it on his broad shoulders with real aplomb, and he looks as though he was carved from the mountains. A top film which deserves its inclusion in so many 'best of' lists
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2/10
pretty much pretentious drivel
17 June 2013
Not the worst film I have ever seen, but then I've sat through Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I don't have a problem with films with no plot and a different structure but i do when they are this pretentious. It tries to be allegorical but it isn't an allegory of anything. If lots of pointless staring into space punctuated with meaningless squelchy violence is your thing, and you have a very high boredom threshold then go ahead.

This review does not contain spoilers as there is nothing to spoil. Oh, and a strange looking child gawps very slowly at nothing. A lot.

The point I gave it is for the scenery and the photography, both of which are great. In future give the cameraman the money and take some postcard photos of the Scottish Highlands. It would be a blessing.
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10/10
How can a mad man be the only sane person in the world?
5 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Anyone who doesn't like this film is probably missing the point.

It's a high concept, intelligent science fiction film I really really wish there were more of. Bruce Dern is brilliant in it and carries the whole film, ably assisted by the marvellous little robots.

The soundtrack is terrific (especially the scene when the robots are fixing his leg) and the special effects very ahead of their time (you can see a lot of them reused in later, lesser films and TV.)

There are very few films I find moving and this is one of them. And what an ending!

Taking us back to a time when intelligent though was allowed in science fiction instead of revivals of tired, overworked franchises
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