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Reviews
Simon Says (2006)
So close, yet.... Nah, it wasn't even close!
What can I say about this movie. My expectations were something along the lines of evil dead 2, as it advertised, and I was sorely disappointed. Some ingenious ways of killing our hapless campers has everything to do with a pick axe you ever wanted to know about, and I got tired of it very quickly. Maybe they had some left over from My Bloody Valentine or Trackman. Crispin Glovers usually good creepy acting seemed out of place in this, like he was trying TOO hard to be creepy. He doesn't have to try, it comes naturally, like in Wizard of Gore. There were a few admirable killing scenes,the spinning log to be sure, and some above average makeup and special effects, but just not enough to merit a rental, and definitely not a purchase. It's as if the director is working to achieve the scary horror of ED2, and Glover is on that plane half the time, but someone forgot to inform the rest of the cast. The movie appeared to be just a jumble of film clips stitched together. My hope is that you will read this and spend your money elsewhere. I'm sure some people enjoy it, but it just missed the mark for me. Also don't expect to rent this movie and see Blake Lively(Accepted) or Robyn Lively(Savannah) in any screen time, they appear at the end of the movie in sort of a cameo role after everything of importance has happened. Funny that this movie was produced Lively production. Perhaps he saw the preview and thought,"this movie sucks, maybe I can get members of my family to be in this and save it! NO, NO, NO. And for those who are wondering, at the end the twins have our heroine Kate trapped in a basement and have apparently engaged in some intercourse with her because I assume they have had children,(TWINS!). Hope this helps, but if not I don't care because you've seen the movie against my suggestion, and I've got better movies to waste two hours of my life with like (Insert movie of choice here). No evil dead, No Friday the 13th, no Nightmare, just crap. However, it is only MY opinion.
Night at the Museum (2006)
Stiller and Williams doing what they do best
If you're looking for the keys to the universe or the path to Nirvana, go see "Apacalypto" or whatever it's called. Stiller is at his usual funny man routine and Williams adds his quips all through the movie. Owen Wilson adds a "little" humor. Making an appearance for the older crowd were Mickey Rooney and Dick Van Dyke as the retiring, scheming night watchmen. And as always, the lovely Carla Gugino spices up the screen.(she could've had a little more screen time as far as I was concerned) The movie had an interesting concept, the museum coming alive at night, something that seemed somewhat original in this mess of poorly redone superheroe pics, video game rip-offs and overused sequels. Most of the critics didn't give it much credit, but it was a nice little movie to take the kids or the whole family to see over the holiday season. Better than a 7, but not quite an eight.