Change Your Image
ilia_skib
Reviews
Love, Simon (2018)
Unbearably naive, immature and just plain silly
I could MAYBE believe this movie if it was about two 13 year old kids in the 70's.
Incredibly infantile, unrealistic and unbearably corny.
Horrible dialogue, bland acting and a story line that could have been told in a short 30 min format movie.
I rarely post negative reviews about movies, but this one ticked all the wrong boxes. Coming out is a very serious issue, even in the most "welcoming and accepting" environment. I didn't believe the main character's struggle for a minute. It was cheap, shallow, uninspired and completely bland.
This movie really does a disservice to the topic of discovering who you truly are and making a big step of coming out. There are SO many great movies about this. I am astonished this garbage got such a high review.
Thing is...if you want to see cute and innocent - watch Heartstopper. It is also naive, but at least it is believable. If you want a deeper exploration and a truly multi layered story of coming out, watch Young Royals...in fact watch ANYTHING but this.
It is an insult to intelligence and integrity.
End of rant.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Quite silly in some parts, but overall enjoyable.
So firstly, the positive:
Pretty awesome and detailed design of the aliens. In most films that have this theme, the "enemy" always feels a little cartoonish to me, no matter how scary they try to make it. In this case, I have to admit that the creature design was on point!
Time travel issue a lot of smarty pants think they have a problem with:
The protagonist daughter shouldn't be mad at him because our hero didn't actually leave his family since he was sent to the future.
Let me try to explain how (I think) this movie treats time travel:
Time travel is described as two points (like two ships in a river) that move in parallel. So all the people saying....he never really left the family. HE DID...because the future happened FIRST, THEN they created the bridge with the past. Time moves in one direction only...what has happened, already happened. At least that's the premise of this movie, it seems.
There are plenty of pretty silly illogical moments though. Like the main hero jumping to his death to save his future daughter, when he literally knows that the fate of humanity is in his hands. Unless...it was his desperate attempt to take her back with him to the past, which earlier in the movie they explain is impossible due to the future+past self co-existing at the same time paradox. Really cool visual shot, but not worth having a completely ridiculous hole in writing for it. Just let her fall, cue the tragic music. Hero is teleported back to the past screaming "noooo!"
Then there is the "we don't have time to try to convince governments to do something about it. Yes, you do...you have 30 years!
They will not listen! Why? Because one guy said they wouldn't?
At the same time...watching the world today? It almost seems plausible, doesn't it? Someone would try to make money on the aliens instead of exterminating them, or there would be a war over stopping human extinction and something would go wrong. As unfathomable as it is?
I could actually imagine it.
A few other super cheeky/cliche choices like: Let's ask a Volcano expert.
Ah right, that kid from the class I was teaching is enough of an expert.
Ash spread across half of the globe you say? Some in the vast icy lands of Russia? Let me tell you where exactly like right now! (I guess you don't know how big that area of Russia is, huh)?
The moment they saw the cocoons they should have created a bomb with the toxin incorporated and just blow up the whole thing. Nah...lets inject a few of them and see if they are not going to make too much fuss while dying/melting in an excruciating pain.
There are quite a few other similar dumb plot holes...but all in all, it could have been a truly awesome movie if they just gave a tiny bit more thought to the story, because everything else seems to be on point.
Cinematography, casting, direction, score - all highly enjoyable...just one minor problem. THE STORY :)
The Handmaid's Tale: Chicago (2021)
I used to love this show, now it is just descended into nonsense
When writers just blatantly don't care anymore, no production values or amount of great acting can save a ridiculous, unbelievable story.
One of the best things about this show was the horrifying realism...the sense of a cautionary tale about something that could have happened (and happened in some countries in the world).
Unfortunately, once you "revive" the main character from a riffle wound in the woods, with no medical assistance - well, who cares about logic anymore. If the audience will eat that, they will eat the other BS as well. I was actually willing to suspend my disbelief for that one if the progression made some sense, but it just gets childishly ridiculous.
A full van of dangerous fugitives, with one guard in the car....no locked doors and the poor Ant Lydia who was ALREADY attacked and almost killed by one of the handmaid's in the past. Are you serious?! It would be more believable if it was an inside job somehow...what, you didn't have budget for some logic?
Then June reaching the post juuuust on time for the airstrike and Moira finding her among the hundreds of people. What is this a Marvel superhero movie? Come on people, put SOME effort even if you don't want to continue working on the show. Who is approving these idiotic story choices?
Very disappointed...
Lavender (2016)
I was terrified...how bad this movie was
When even the soundtrack in the movie annoys you, it is clear something is horribly wrong. It seems everyone involved in the movie was trying to create something, which failed in every possible area. Characters - boring and un-relatable. Couldn't care less what happens to them. Acting - looking "profoundly" sad all the time does not constitute dramatic acting... Story - I was praying to god (just an expression) that it will not be a banal story about ghosts. I really thought it is possible there will be an interesting twist, but noooo...freakin' ghosts. Oh, and while we are speaking about twists - the cheap "Six Sense" twist "revealing" (like I didn't see it all the way from 1999) that the psychologist was actually a ghost, was so laughable and unnecessary that I almost stopped watching right there. Soundtrack - unusual textures and ambiences, extended techniques on the violin and annoying "sliding" ultra low sounds for 99% of the movie were not only annoying, but simply like having a coffee with 12 spoons of sugar - bad taste. You can not shove "suspense" down the viewers throat all the time when there is no reason for it. It seemed the characters couldn't open the fridge door without the music suggesting "something terrible is going to happen".
So yes, an absolute __________________(are you feeling the suspense?) waste of time.
The OA: Invisible Self (2016)
The ambiguous ending...
Obviously spoilers ahead...
Most haters will complain about the ending saying it was an anti climax, a disappointment, that all their hopes were crushed...bla bla bla
My personal opinion and advise - disregard. You don't always get a happy or satisfying end...because not every story is a "happily ever after tale". Was it ambiguous? Not really if you understand what the series is really about...
It doesn't merely explore the concept of NDE or the afterlife. It explores the "deaths and resurrections" we experience during our lifetime. Prairies deaths and resurrections are her attempts to cope with the reality of captivity and abuse. The other 4 characters all lose someone or some part of themselves. So in a way, they die and get resurrected again... The loss of a brother (The Teacher), the loss of parents (Jesse), the loss of attention and love (Steve) , the loss of recognition and acceptance for who you truly are (Buck), the loss of faith in yourself trying to satisfy everyone around you, including your degenerate mother (Brandon).
Anyway, I will stop the rant here.
The OA (2016)
A flawed yet unique series worth the experience
Well, where do I begin...ah, right - SPOILERS AHEAD...to SOME OTHER MOVIES TOO!!!
I am sure you realize that just like with any other movie or series (with rare exceptions), there will always be those who love it and those who hate it, which is exactly what happens here. I read lot and lots of complaints about a disappointing ending, no sense of closure, a build up that falls flat...and you know what I have to say about that? Grow up!
Life is not a sugar coated popsicle that ends with a jolly Hollywoodish happy end! The ending of this series is actually very refreshing in my opinion. Because it is ambiguous and open to interpretation? Not really...not if you understand what the creators tried to show you.
So in the last episode we discover, that the amazing story of the original angel is nothing but delusions of a girl who was abducted, abused and simply invented a fantasy as a way to cope with horrendous reality. Personally, I suspected the possibility of this outcome the moment I heard the name "Homer"...a tiny bit too obvious. In general, this idea of replacing traumatic reality with a fantasy have been used in many movies and series before (Pan's Labirynth, Big Fish, Mr. Nobody and many others).
...but then the creators make us ask, if she was delusional, how did she have the premonitions, how was her eye sight restored? There are several ways to look at it.
1) Who said that a delusional girl can not have premonitions? :) Does it have to be only either supernatural reality or a "realistic world"?. Can't it be both? A realistic world with a touch of supernatural?
Besides, haven't we encountered things in this world of ours we can't fully explain? (120% skeptics move to the next review).
Did the movements (silly ones - that I have to admit) of the 5 opened a portal to another dimension? Of course not! Could they be enough to confuse a deranged student who wanted to shoot everyone? Depends...if he is a total loony? Not really. If he is an angry/confused kid who snapped (it is quite clearly suggested that it is the teen that was punched in the throat)? Possible...at least long enough for someone to sneak in on him and stop him, which is what happens.
Prairie's last word at the end of the series is "Homer". So she WAS an angel after all and she went to another dimension! Nope folks...she wasn't and she most definitely died (for real). Homer represents her ability to finally find that lost someone or maybe her lost self and fill the hole she was carrying her entire life. Or maybe she went to a place where her fantasies become a reality...it doesn't matter. It is not the kind of supernatural where you would see portals to another dimensions as a conclusion, it is the kind of supernatural that suggests that there is some kind of afterlife...maybe...but we still don't know what it is.
Then the haters ask: How did she get her eye sight back though? Who knows and who cares? Maybe her abuser DID bang her on the head. Haven't you ever heard of a person who went into a coma with doctors having no clue whether he/she will wake up? Is it not a miracle if this person wakes up a year later? Yes and No. Skeptics will say it is science: "the brain repaired itself"...yeah but do you know HOW? You don't...so until you do - a miracle it is :)
So, to summarize my never-ending review: Great cast. Interesting soundtrack. Beautiful Cinematography. A flawed story with many numerous unrealistic character actions, but suspend your disbelief and you won't regret it. My vote? Definitely binge worthy.
One Punch Man: Wanpanman (2015)
Great....if you are brain dead
Maybe 12 year olds can enjoy this show, because this is the level of complexity of the story, character development and continuity. Then again, with the level of violence and blood in this show it is not really appropriate for 12 year olds so what was the point?
The only reason I am giving this 2 starts is because the animation and the battle scenes are great. That's about it.
Pointless main hero who can defeat everyone with no sweat, for no apparent or explained reason.
Was this show supposed to be a joke or a parody of hero anime shows? If so, it seems that the joke is at the expense of the creators. Absolutely brainless, one of the dumbest (sometimes painfully so) flicks I ever watched. "I ate too many crabs so I have become a giant crab man". Really?!! This is beyond idiotic even as a joke.
Spoiler (though not really)
Could they make it at least a little bit hard for him at the final battle? Seriously!! Anyway....if you feel like burning some brain cells...give it a go. I literally feel dumber after watching it...
The Shannara Chronicles (2016)
Could have been 10 times better than what it is...
Where do I begin?
I really really wanted to like this show. I love fantasy and this show could be the TV equivalent of Lord of the Rings if it was done properly. What do we get instead? A confused, immature series with high school level dialogue and drama. A few redeeming qualities: Gorgeous settings in some scenes, decent CGI for the most part, gorgeous looking people. That's about it. Costumes look like something you can buy in a Halloween shop. Dialogue...face palm level. Completely idiotic at times. Characters who just randomly met, talk casually like they have known each other for ages. "You have to trust me" says one character to another who has been just found by the heroes locked in some cellar. Yeah? Why??! Why should they trust you? Lazy lazy writing...
Plot advances jumping around with no preparation. Also, can you make up your mind? Are you going to use teen surfer language or are you going to try to speak in the "old fashion" like it often happens on fantasy shows?
Dumb teen oriented garbage...so classic MTV I guess. Too bad, it could be an amazing show.
Heroes Reborn (2015)
Absolute garbage
I think I can actually see the actors suffering throughout their script and just saying to themselves "It's just for the paycheck...it's OK..." I don't know where to begin... The story is completely brain dead...how could they allow something like this to be released? I somehow lasted until the last episode (currently episode 7) hoping that maybe it will improve, but it just keeps getting worse.
The last straw was Noah going to see (SPOILER) the body of Claire, the indestructible cheerleader who somehow died at child birth....oh ow...I think Heroes is changing direction. It is a Soap opera now...
So obviously he "can't even bring himself" to look under the sheet and see his daughter for the last time...because...THE ACTRESS IS NOT IN THE FREAKIN' SERIES ANYMORE SO THEY CAN'T SHOW HER...
Can't it be any more disrespectful to the intelligence of the viewers? Why create a story line around a character who is not there anymore?! Just let her be dead in the explosion like you say in the first episode and explain with events somehow later.
I would go on to say that the Villain is bad, the story is bad, the acting is bad, the dialogue is a torture (sometime they just say completely stupid things, I mean SERIOUSLY)?
I used to be a fan of this show. Why? Why did you have to destroy it?
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Is this a movie or a 2 hour long scene?
OK...I would give this movie 5 stars, because it deserves it for its cinematography, but the super high ratings have to be balanced...
Where do I begin. This is not a movie, this one elongated scene, a visual art clip perhaps. I have seen more substance in 3 min MTV music videos. NO BACKGROUND whatsoever on the history of the tribe depicted in the movie....no character development for the villain whatsoever and there could be SOOOO much. No explanation about any other characters. Main hero is not a main hero ...feels more like a supporting character at best. That, coupled with a completely ridiculously bad acting makes me wonder why the movie even called Mad Max? Dialogue - what dialog? There are probably more words in this review than in the movie. The good - really cool costumes, cars, special effects (though some of them seem cartoonish)... I left the theater feeling like my brain was emptied of thought...this is how dull in terms of story this movie felt. Not even dull...just nothing...emptiness...like the post apocalyptic desert shown in the movie.
My advise? Wait for the DVD if you must...not worth spending money on cinema tickets for this and definitely not on IMAX...Unless of course you just like to see stuff blow up and machinery parts flying around.
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Is this a joke?
OK, so I enjoy "bad: movies sometimes. I didn't expect much from this one. Just thought to myself...probably cool visuals, an interesting universe... Wow...unless this movie is aimed exclusively at 10 year olds this is complete and utter joke. Some spoilers ahead...though I don't think I can spoil anything.
Where do I begin... Acting - Mila Kunis, just please stop doing "serious" roles. She is walking, talking and interacting on the emotional level of a 16 year old girl shopping at a mall....I won't even mention the rest. Not worth mentioning. Story - other than the somewhat nice idea that earth was populated by a race of superior aliens in order to be harvested one day...that's a cool idea. The rest just doesn't make any kind of sense. The heroes motivations and actions are child like.
Special effects which are supposed to be THE thing in this movie are just OK. For a movie of this budget? They could have done 20 times better.
and finally...SOME FREAKING LOGIC. I know this is a sci fi movie, but for the love of goodness how can you think the audience is this stupid?
Caine is thrown into the void at some point and struggles for some time until he finds a thingy that turns into a space suit and gives him air and stuff. AIR PRESSURE CHANGES!!! Hello?! He would die in a matter of seconds.
Caine is fighting a dinosaur like monster. At some point they go shoulder to shoulder and the monster bites Caine...just enough for him to cringe from pain. A thing of this size with the jaws it had, could easily bite off his entire shoulder with next to no effort.
These two are the ones that come to mind right away, but things like this are all over the place.
Complete and utter garbage. Why does Hollywood keep making these mindless, insulting films? Why make it at all? Just donate the money to some country in Africa.
Contagion (2011)
Excruciatingly boring
Such a great cast of actors and such an awful undeveloped script. Where do I begin? You cast Gwyneth Paltrow to give a near cameo performance?! Really? This is the best use of her talents? (Spoiler) Dying in the first 5 min of the movie and having no significance as a character other than being one of the first people to get infected? Seriously? Matt Damon is told his wife just died and he is somewhat upset...not too much though. Are you kidding me? But that's just small things. The movie has no momentum, no development, no climax. Deadly virus plagues earth.. people are dying....cure is not found....some chaos happens (not too much though)... they finally find a cure...the world is saved. That's about it...the actors are sleep walking through their roles, there is no drama, no tension. Was it really Steven Soderbergh who directed this movie? I find that really hard to believe.
Not worth your time. This movie is worse than bad...it is completely empty, boring and bland. Bad movies can be somewhat entertaining, this was nothing...just nothing.
Escape Plan (2013)
Where can I escape from "Escape Plan"?
Calling this movie "bad", would be a compliment. The entire production of this movie seemed like it was made by 10 year olds with a lot of money.
Where do I begin? I don't even know.
OK, so we all know that Sly and Arnie are not exactly Oscar material in terms of acting, but seriously. Some scenes in this movie made me feel embarrassed. Script and dialog - whoever wrote the dialog for this movie should go to a writing school...I have rarely encountered anything so hopelessly dumb. Direction - the whole movie feels like one elongated movie scene. Action - OK...not more than that. I usually like movies about prisons and escapes so I had hopes to be entertained at the very least.
I really don't understand why these two geriatric action heroes need to make movies... It is painful to watch. Just retire already! You have hundreds of millions of dollars! Not to mention that I actually had to put English subtitles to try to understand what there were saying half of the time...not like it mattered for the "plot" anyway.
Complete and utter waste of time.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Utter boredom
I wish Hollywood would donate the tremendous amount of money they spent on this film to one village in Africa. Complete and utter mediocre garbage. Even the special effects, which are supposed to be driving movies like that are mediocre. The landscapes, fight scenes are okay, but the CGI characters? Is it so hard to give some detail to expressions in this day and age?
This looked like a cartoon (in a bad way) Boring, one dimensional characters and a bunch of people running around in crazy makeup and painted faces.
Terrible, just terrible...
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Generic trash
The entire plot of this movie could be executed in 20 min. I don't know where to begin.
Spoilers ahead...though it doesn't really matter. There is no surprise, no twist.
Unimaginative, boring dialogue, rigid acting, no climax. Nothing. The aliens are copies of copies from other movies. The weapons that the human forces use are ridiculous. Nothing like extremely slow moving refrigerator like suits to fight extremely fast moving objects. The main character repeats one single day and in that day he manages to find out all childhood secrets of the soldiers in his squad who meet him for the first time in their lives...
But the last 20 min were the "best". Our hero apparently develops super human powers without even wearing the metal suit. He can be thrown 50 meters through glass and keeps going like nothing...later he falls into a pit banging repeatedly against rocks, oh yes we should add the signature Tom Cruise scratch on the eyebrow, but otherwise he is fine...
Stupid, mindless flick...
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Visual Pollution
Let me begin by saying that I actually enjoy spoof movies. Correction - I enjoyed spoof movies.
This is single handedly the worst movie I've ever seen in our outside a theatre and the first one I walked out after 20 minutes.
Just in order to make you understand what it is - Movie is an art form, so let's compare it to a music concert for a second. Now...imagine sitting at a concert where the singer screams ugly sounds instead of singing, the supporting band plays nothing but noise the stage setting is a used toilet paper (which I think the script of this movie was written on) etc....
Awful MOVIE! AWFUL!!! Should I repeat that 5 times, like the filmmakers did with every dumb joke in the movie? AWFUL, AWFUL, awful, Awful!!! AwFuL!! 1) The sophistication of the humor in this movie levels someone around 1st and 2nd grades. However, it most likely would make them cry rather than laugh.
2) Do you really have to explain any obvious idiotic joke in the movie? What? Is it too complicated for us dumb viewers? There is nothing to explain! It is not funny! - explain that! 3) OK. Among all the crap they assembled in this movie. One joke had a vague potential of being slightly amusing. SO LETS REPEAT IT trizillion times!!!! and then once more! 4) The most outrages scenes from Jackass are done with much more taste than this vulgar and obscene...I can't even call it a movie...visual pollution To summarize I really think that certain movies should be banned from the theatres and possibly altogether. This is an insult! The directors should be ashamed of themselves.
What's happening to Hollywood? Sad...just sad.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Absolute junk...
This movie is bad in every aspect. The acting is as good as.....well it's really bad - that sums it. The script is absolutely idiotic, and it seems like a high school top cheerleader wrote it. A complete and pathetic try to do a blockbuster. The characters are absolutely flat. Forget about it. There are no characters, only names. And who picked the cast for this movie? With the exception of Christopher Plummer, who wasn't so bad - the cast is just bad.
I might have gone easy on this film,if it was a low budget one.....but it's not and it seems like a complete, pretentious waste of money!
The main hero slashing the head of a vampire - "Never mess with an antique salesman" (quote). Come on!!! Highly unrecommended. Waiste of your time.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Words can not express...
Words can not express... I have just finished watching this film and can't shake of the shock it caused. I have stared at an empty screen for 5 minutes, not able even to cry... This is one (if not THE) of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. And believe me I am very picky. Never had been inhumanity towards human weaknesses displayed in such a brutal honest and shocking way. On the one hand shattered dreams that brought into your mind and soul almost physically. And on the other had the sadness for one of the most painful problems in the world : drugs and the way people deal with drug addicts.
First the acting: UNBELIEVABLE!!!
The characters, which are so complex and yet so simple, are brought by the actors absolutely brilliantly. Ellen Burstyn is shocking! Her portrait of a lonely aging lady is genius! So intolerably sad. Jared Leto is great showing a plain guy and goodness that can be betrayed and corrupted buy drugs from the inside and also from the world outside.
Jeniffer Connely as a proud uncompromising strong character who becomes the absolute opposite is amazing. The weakest performance is in my opinion by Marlon Wayans who doesn't seem to live his character in a convincing way. But then again, his character doesn't have to offer much.
The filming was very original and recreated visually, complex physical and emotional feelings in a way that I haven't yet seen on screen.
The soundtrack is also brilliantly selected and with unordinary sound editing adds much to the movie.
To sum up: Highly recommended, but be advised - it is one of the most difficult pictures to cope with, mentally.
p.s I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes