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Luciphyre
Reviews
Land of the Dead (2005)
Can we say "TV Series?"
I ranked this movie high because I really enjoyed it on a Bad Ass Zombie movie level. OK yeah, you would think that Big Daddy(Main zombie) would have been shot more or even killed at some point, however; he was the one that got away. Only problem I saw was that even in this unrated not seen in Theatres version, the violence and gore were no more worse than had this been on SciFi channel or the such. Which brings me to say, TV SERIES please. You've got a good storyline, now just write life breathing backgrounds and let the zombies go. OK maybe you couldn't get away with all the gore or swearing but still a TV SERIES would rock, might even give the late night back to the Zombies who it belong too. The movie was good, wish Asia had a bigger part, but then again her daddy didn't help Romero co-write this one. Oh well, still she should have had a bigger part she's really a good actress. I think all the Zombies were wonderful, but Hopper stop playing such predictable roles PLEEEEASE! So check it out, it definitely is one the girlfriend can watch and not jump into your lap so much or at all. Great flick George, give us more.
Serenity (2005)
A Movie That Leaves You Wanting More!
I have to say I really never knew of Firefly until recent on the Scifi Channel. Boy did I miss something back in the day, kinda like catching up with LEXX. I just saw the movie tonight at the theatre, and the movie is plain AWESOME and I hope this will either spawn a sequel of equal value or bring me back a TV show worth watching. The story was strong, the characters lovable an hated at the same time. Fast paced, well shot and from the beginning sucks you right in. I dare say anything more than "GO SEE THE BEST SCIFI FLICK OF THE YEAR," for telling you about the movie won't do it justice. A definite thrill ride that any age can enjoy, most interested to get on DVD so I can see it again. Take anyone they will enjoy a straight up out of the box movie that will leave you wanting more. See it, know it and then let others know what a damn good movie this is.
Wicked Minds (2003)
Good Story, Disappointed Scenery
OK So I saw this movie because Angie Everhart was in it. A lot of others did too. I rented this movie with Unrated on the DVD case. What a bunch of crap! If this movie was unrated, yeah maybe for language or some stupid reason other wise. I mean, for crying out for a good naughty scene. You could have aired this movie on FOX and no one would have thought any different. I've seen better adult scenes on Fastlane, that's how bad this movie dragged you in. So the story, good idea "Needing someone to take the blame." The ending is expected as you will see when you watch Wicked Minds. I do like the movie for the story so I gave it 3 stars, but I actually wanted to see Angie and the movie just didn't come through. Rent this movie for the story, wanna see Angie don't rent this one rent "Bare Witness."
Lexx (1996)
What Kind of Robot are You?
I haven't had a TV show make me so excited since Kindred was on Fox and Tales From the Crypt had new Episodes. So where to begin. I really thought the First Zev was hotter than the replacement Xev (but prior arrangements will do that), 790 will back me up on this one. So your in the dark-zone, your in the light-zone depends on where LEXX goes. Lexx is the Ship, not actually one of the living actors. Stan is the captain, harmless happy go lucky guy who is constantly trying to Sleep with Zev(Xev) or trying to find some sort of pleasure place, which leads them on all their wild adventures. Kai is originally Brunan G (I hope I spelled that correct.) Last of a romantic dreamers race, according to His Shadow. He is captured at death by His Shadow and turned into His Shadow's Assassin. 2000 years later Kai along with Stan and Zev(Xev) defeat his shadow and take control of the LEXX. With Kai being the living dead that comes to the rescue every time Stan or Zev(Xev) are in trouble. Kai feels no pain, can't feel or understand love physically and he is highly programed for justice. He's the walking dead with a cool hawk sounding mortal kombat "Get Over Here" scorpion killing device. I enjoy the way Kai walks about like he doesn't really give a damn, he puts his head back on when cut off like it doesn't matter and he lives in Kriostasis chamber on the LEXX until needed. Now theirs Zev(Xev) the luscious Beauty of the show. She adds the Humor and good looks that the show comes to play upon quite a bit. She is always looking to get laid, even though she is a virgin. She wants Kai, but can't have him because he is like dead and can't preform an all that. So along with Stan's search for a good time, when men are encountered Zev(Xev) becomes very active in the sexy female display. Being part Cluster lizard, Part love slave she has a libido that wants to rock..... JUST not with Stan, though every time they almost do, you can guess that something will go a stray. 790 is the Robot head that is infused with the lust part of the love slave that Zev(Xev) was suppose to get, he is devoted to nothing but her. Above that he hates Stan who truly digs on Zev(Xev) and loves the fact Kai is dead, so he can't have Zev(Xev). His angst against Stan and Love for Zev(Xev) are the one liners of the Show you will come to remember and love. Over all a spectacular show with adult content that was cut so it could air on the SCIFI channel, wish the show didn't have to stop being made. A must see show for anyone. Once you board the LEXX, you'll never wanna leave. Though the male genitalia shower might take some getting use to. May His Merciful Shadow Fall Upon You.
Scarecrow Slayer (2003)
Just like a Disney Sequel?
Well, they got Tony Todd (Candyman) to appear in this movie, to bad it wasn't as good as the first Scarecrow. Yeah he runs around Kung-Fuing his way about killing people, but this time the Scarecrow seems more Serious. I guess if you see this before the first one you might think different about it, hard call though; Scarecrow was more laughs, one liners and just straight low budget horror movie. Scarecrow Slayer is less talk more CG killing and a more serious additude. Again like the first "Scarecrow," yep the girls all look good but no nudity, might have helped the first one, but even nudity in this movie wouldn't have gone over at all. The just of it is a fraternity prank gone bad with revenge upon people he knows, even the girl he loves(Since the Spirit came from her ex-boyfriend: cause he was shot by Tony Todd). The only part worth laughing at is their use of Marines. Ha those idiots couldn't have even been marines if god put them there. They try to shoot the Scarecrow with a Rocket Launcher..... Oops it don't work, ya like that would make sense in a movie. Wait the Marines are running away, ya in what world was this. Oh and to top it off they make a electrical sheet by plugging a power cord into a light socket attached to chicken wire on the floor trying to Electrify the Scarecrow, Uh I don't see that happening, even in another low budget movie. To bad...... well they always say "Sequals usually are no good, unless your Jason!"
Scarecrow (2002)
The Most Fun Since Candyman!
I don't think most people give this movie as much credit as it deserves. I love low budget horror movies and this takes the cake, especially for originality. Yes the Scarecrow is a Kung-Fu fighting frightner, but why not? No one else is willing to go that far. I really haven't had this much fun watching a movie since Candyman. So the town picks on this one kid calling him scarecrow, even his mom doesn't care about him. Then he gets killed and the spirit is infused with in the Scarecrow, who then goes on a Killing spree. His demise is relatively easy to assume once the movie gets going. The dedications at the end go straight to a bunch of horror directors, but with most dedication towards Dario Argento really struck me as cool, these folks who wanna make movies of a newer genre. Over the movie has a lot of Arnold rip offs, with one liners you'll definitely laugh at like stick around and he kills the sheriff with a stick. I would say, grab a pizza some friends an laugh your A$$ off with this movie. I love it for its originality, most fun.
What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
We're to Self conscious to see the Observer
Okay, you have a persons LOVE+HATE relationship with: Themself, their life and their work. All this is puddled together between tit bits of Philosophers talking about "QUanTUm PhySICS." You spent most of the movie trying to understand either what these people were talking about or what was going to happen to the Photographer. In the end you get a lollipop for sitting through a movie, surrounded by wanna be Matrix effects crossing over with Sliders and a Polka party to take away from how bad this movie is or the lack there of a story. SO she got cheated on, life happens; men will do that sometimes. The best part is they can't really explain anything directly to you so they have to use CG cartoons to WOO your attention and to explain what they just couldn't come out and say. WHY? Da hell if I know! The thing that kills me the most is everyones retorical referal to Alice in Wonderland, lets face it folks - Lewis Carol was not using Quantum Physics when he invented the rabbit hole, so leave it alone for Hell's sake. I suggest, if your truly are after info on "QuanTUM PhYsiCS" skip this and go straight to your local PBS station and Ask for a copy of Nova's "THE ELEGANT UNIVERSE."
The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless (2001)
Juliet, WOW!!!
Firt off, if you haven't seen the first one. See it for the movie spoof and some KILLER music. BWP2: Book of Babes, well it was definitely not as expected I suppose. I thought since the first one was good flick for a laugh, the sequel would be as follows: New girls (THAT THEY DID, Including JULIET CARIAGA! WOW), Got to see Nikki Fritz again (HOT AS ALWAYS) But then Jim, yes Jim you go and cast a character like SAMANTHA. "OH MY GOD!" at least a hundred times counting closely, and that my friend ruined this good time, chocolate nude flick. Yeah the girls look good (RENT THIS FOR JULIET), the scenes are almost identical to the first BWP, but they seem shorter. Not as much interaction amongst the girls as the first one, the music was definitely lacking ( I know a Heavy T&A movie and I wanna complain about the music) But if you seen the first movie you'll agree. Over all I gave it a 7 for Juliet & Nikki, had the Sam character not been there this could easily have been a 9 on my B movie list. Oh and see if you catch the part where they rip off a line from GHOSTBUSTERS in this film. Fun, but the girls in this movie deserved more, minus Sam.