Reviews

started with the sequel to this (Hellgate). I've been hooked on Polonia ever since (what is wrong with me?) Come on guys, these Polonia Brothers make these films on like, $10,000, maybe $20,000. What do you expect? A monster that doesn't look like a sock puppet? I actually liked the idea of this movie. The House that swallows up souls, and the sacrifice that has to be made to free them...it's not bad at all. Just plot alone, is it any worst than some of the big named actor Hollywood garbage that comes out? If you can laugh at the very cheap effects, and look deeper to the plot, it's actually worth watching. (I need help, I know).

This movie was funny! It is a hilarious anthology of stories loosely woven together that will have you at the edge of your seat laughing. The Professor's Wife was probably my favorite.

No, this is not a very good movie. The acting was appalling, especially Alice. Hmmm, I think my skin is melting. (No, she didn't actually say that...give the writers a little credit :-) Yeah, she wouldn't be so calm in that situation though. This movie is so bad it's good. Yeah, definitely in that category.

It has nothing to do with the original Creep Show at all. Neither Stephen King nor Romero were involved in this in any way, and I am sure they are appalled. Just forget about the original Creep Show when you watch this, and you'll be alright.

I gave it a 3 out of 10, mainly because it made me laugh. It didn't scare me, it didn't disgust me. It didn't have any hot sex scenes or anything. The woven plot of the stories wasn't bad though. But mainly, it's just fun to watch. I'll probably see it again eventually.

Wes Craven's got some nerve putting this thing out...I've got to hand it to him. And you'd have to have a lot of courage to try this film, and a strong stomach to make it through.

This film is courageous because it pushes aside all sense of human decency and portrays the most horrible human behavior imaginable...and then plays all this light and funny music in the background. It's like, one minute, these teen girls are being violated and humiliated in the woods; and then the movie switches to these Barney Fife cops whose incompetence will have you laughing...then it's back to the sick stuff again and your stomach is turning.

This movie will disturb you. It will disgust you, offend you, and make you think. This isn't merely shock, however. There is a moral to the story. Unlike many mindless slasher films, the villains have not entirely lost their humanity, not even Sadie. They do not laugh maniacally after torturing, raping, humiliating, and murdering their victims. No, they actually seem remorseful. The look in their faces was priceless. Then the look on the face of the vengeful parents...it says it all. Wes Craven is showing the darkest depths of the human soul...and no matter the cause, violence eats away at us. Well done Wes Craven! I wish I could go more into Krug's son, Junior, but I would be spoiling if I did. But I tell you now, some of the most disturbing aspects of this film involve that dysfunctional father son relationship.

I give it a well earned 9 out of 10. Some of those parts in the woods were a little over the top. Also, why was Krug the only one to get a piece of action? Seems Weasel was just as much a perv as Krug, if not more so.

This movie is really sick, and funny. I have made my friends cringe describing it to them. I saw it about 8 months ago, and I still have the song 'Shall we Gather at the River' echoing through my head.

So basically, it is a Tromatized Romeo and Juliet, but it goes beyond what you would expect. Let's just say incest, references to child molestation, gore (of course), but unfortunately, has a sort of happy ending...sort of...it's more weird than happy. Cappy Capulet was brilliant! He has this sort of intellectual snobbish tone, he's abusive, but civilised. He quotes more Shakespeare than anyone else in the film...all while engaging in his sadistic role as a husband and father.

The meat guy was pretty cool too. He was Juliet's fiancé, deeply infatuated with her, and soon to be heartbroken because of Tromeo. And Tromeo, a true romantic. He's a handsome, really sweet guy, desperate to find true love. 'She doth make torches to burn brightly!' Unfortunately, Troma just had to resort to that awful fake green vomit and their other antics. They really get carried away with that stuff sometimes. But hey, this film made a great impression on me. How often do I refer to it in real life situations...wow that's pathetic.

Anyway, enjoy!

Here we have a sensual, creepy, and sleazy indie horror. Much of it is very erotic, borders on soft core porn, but the horror of the film is too good to pass this off as a hornography. It has it's gore, but it relies heavily on scene setting and subtlety rather than just another boobs and blood. With that said, the various nude scenes and especially the lesbian stuff towards the end clearly degenerate this film, but then, who can deny enjoying that! The baby doll herself, Miria, is beautiful and young, and plays the role well. Just wait till you see her in bed being possessed...get the cold shower ready! Definitely worth seeing! Not a masterpiece by far, but good fun! I rate it 6 of 10.

If you have ever stood in the face of tyranny, perhaps standing for the Union contract in a place of work, or a schoolboy defending another against a bully, than you are Spartacus. Spartacus is a man who'd rather die on his feet, than live on his knees. You gotta fight the power, man!!! I like to believe there is a little Spartacus in all of us.

Seriously though, great classic. Good acting all around, especially Spartacus of course. And Sir Lawrence Olivier (Crassus) is always great. The love scenes with Spartacus were very genuine, good chemistry. And though this movie is long, it is well worth it.

4/5 stars.

A very entertaining, and very disturbing picture. Is he poking fun at the U.S. or at Kazakhstan? Well, at first glance, one might think Kazakhstan. However, he makes no attempt to actually portray Kazakhstan. It could have just as easily been Uzbekhistan (I probably misspelled that, that's why he is making fun of U.S.) You see, he wanted to show how ignorant Americans are of the world, and indeed he is right.

So he goes on a road trip, starting from New York, going through the South, and finally ending up in California. All the way through, it is one shocking, bazaar scene after another. Despite showing our ignorance, as a Southerner, I actually wasn't offended at how he portrayed us. OK, so we know so little about the world that we think Kazakhstan is so primitive that they don't know how to use toilet paper, and use a sack to wrap their droppings and don't know where to dispose of it. But, you have to admit, the people throughout the South were very polite, very hospitable. The Southern Jews seemed like very nice people. It took bringing a prostitute to get him kicked out of the dinner party, and even when he kissed a man at the rodeo, the man politely explained to him that that sort of thing isn't done here, unless, well, you know. Wait until you see how the black rappers treat him.

I should warn you though, there is a very disturbing scene with two naked guys fighting and crawling all over each other. You can imagine what they can do with that, but its best not to. Yeah, that about made me vomit.

After laughing and being disgusted, I can't deny how brilliant and unique this is. Very over the top though. Also I don't think he accomplished everything he wanted to, as, like I said, the South didn't come out that bad after all, compared to the rest I suppose. So, I gave it 8 out of 10. It will upset you, but see it. You've never seen anything like it, I guarantee.

Well, this is just another group of teens deserted who get killed one by one. A teeny-bopper version of 'The Hills Have Eyes.' Not a whole lot to say about it, the killing scenes are good, but not great. Some nice looking girls, one decent sex scene. That Jill Jacobs as Harmony is really hot, but stays clothed unfortunately. She played the ditsy role pretty well, I hope she does some more movies. There's potential there.

The white wrapper guy was probably the worse part of the movie. He is one annoying poser, and not a very convincing one either. You will eagerly await his slaughter just because his acting is deplorable.

Well, I gave it a 5 out of 10, for mediocrity. If you happen across this, and like slasher films, then you could add this to your collection, just for the sake of being a horror buff. I wouldn't go out of my way to find this one though, nothing special about it, except Jill Jacobs is hot.

Oh the South's gonna rise again.

What a great movie! Excellent music, sounded like the Kingston Trio, maybe it was. This is a delightful tale of a town in Georgia that was destroyed by some blue bellied devils during the War Between the States and how they get their vengeance. Six innocent Yankees are detoured into this friendly town, where they are welcomed by the mayor as guests of honour for the Centennial. They have no idea what will follow.

The movie is low budget, so don't expect realistic looking blood or decapitated body parts. But they sure are creative with the killing scenes, all with a smile on the face, banjos a-playin', and excellent singing of great classics like Dixie and Old Joe Clark. This movie is no blockbuster, nor is the plot all that inventive, but it is good fun for the whole family, well, maybe not the younguns. I gave it an 8 out of 10. Without the music, it probably would have been a 6. And I will be singing that theme song for days I am sure.

The first time I watched this, I had much to drink. See, when I watch the usual low budget crap, I like to be drunk, it is entertaining that way. Well, the story in this film is very complicated and I couldn't follow it. So, I watched it a second time sober, and was most impressed.

What we have here is three stories tied together - this is not an anthology. A novelist and his girlfriend stay in this Shunned House for inspiration for his novel. She isn't too happy to be there, but he finds more than enough inspiration for his work. So, he tells her about the terrible history of the house, and thus we start seeing the other two stories. One is about a woman with a violin who plays beautifully, but has some kind of dark secret - something on the other side of her window. The other story is about a sleepwalker. Then during the second half there is this woman, all bloody, with her eyes covers and her lips sown together. I still can't figure out how she fits in to the rest of the story. However, as the movie goes, all these stories, according the novelist and his girlfriend, start building up, and climax, and of course, there is a twist or two at the end.

The music was brilliantly haunting, the effects were very good for the low budget (it doesn't look like Brain Damage Films usual cheap slasher). This is a serious horror film, not some cheap horny teenagers go smoke dope have sex with each other and get gruesomely murdered one after another. The acting in this film was also very good for the budget range. Hey, better than some of the terrible actors in Hollywood, Sandra Bullock ain't got nothing' on The Shunned House, ROFL. Seriously though, only a total movie snob, obsessed with high tech effects and A-List acting would turn his nose up at this one. I definitely recommend it for all horror fans. 7 out of 10.

Well, this micro-budget rubbish is disturbing, to say the least. Not much of a storyline, but definitely shocking. Make no mistake, this is a terrible movie, and will definitely not be appreciated by those who aren't into terrible horror movies. Even those who are, you may like it or hate it, there is only one way to find out.

It is about Gothic couple who in a goth club meet a girl named 'Goth' played be Pheobe Dollar. Goth introduces them to this drug called 'White Light' and shows them her version of the Gothic subculture. Goth is cruel, perverted, and insane. I won't spoil it, but the movie has a few very disturbing rapes, murders, etc. and a plot twist or two, although there isn't much of a plot mind you.

Well, I don't regret seeing it. I don't think it was a waist of my time or anything. This is the kind of film for those who like this kind of primal behavior, but it is certainly no 'Last House on the Left.' Well, it was good enough to leave an impression, and I didn't hate it, so I gave it 5 out of 10. I only recommend this for those who like micro-budget slasher/sleaze kind of stuff. This isn't even for those who like movies like Evil Dead because they're so bad they're good. No, this one is bad, but shocking, which makes it worthwhile for a small portion of horror fans.

I was expecting another one of those disgusting horror movies that fascinate me so. However, I was pleasantly surprised at this clever comedy with little horror if any, although that guy who ran to hotel was kind of scary, hehe.

Guilford Adams was brilliant in his role as the girl turned boy. I have seen him in other movies as well and this is his kind of role. Allie accidentally cast a spell and turned into a boy she would call Caleb James, played by Adams. I would point out, however, that Adams acted particularly effeminate, while the girl Allie, who became the boy, was not so girlie herself. Perhaps, however, the tragedy of becoming a boy made her cling to her feminine ways all the more. Wait until you see how Allie/Caleb gets revenge on her boyfriend, and more importantly, her arch rival. This movie while have you laughing as good as anything in the comedy section of the video store. I would say that is where it belongs, but then, I would have never stumbled across it there, so I am glad they placed it in Horror.

I gave this an 8 out of 10, which is I believe the highest rating I have ever given to an indie film. I recommend this not only for comedy fans but horror fans as well. It is a nice change of pace from the usual sadistic gore of indie horror.

This game has an excellent story line, and I don't mind the retro 2-D fighting style. However, this game is ruined by terrible controls. The pressing a button to change directions is annoying, but I could live with that with practice. The fighting was choppy, but even that is forgivable for me, for I am accustomed to old games like the original Mortal Kombat, an old favorite of mine.

I cannot, however, get over the extreme difficulty of jumping from ledges. He jumps merely by pressing up on the control pad, and that is so easy to do accidentally. I have fallen to my death too many times when I either had no intention of jumping or was unable to jump when I needed to. Unfortunately, jumping from ledges is nearly half the darn game. So, half of it is ruined. With the easy difficulty, I was able to have a lot of lives, I think something like 12, plus 6 continues I believe it was.

It's a real shame it is. So much thought put into a brilliant story line, pretty good music and sound, tough, well designed enemies, like the Air elemental guard. But it is all ruined by the difficulty of the controls, especially in the air level. Nearly the entire air level was jumping from ledges and such. I, however, was so impressed by the potential of this game that I would recommend they try again. Make a new version for Nintendo Game Cube perhaps and work out the flaws. Maybe even switch to a 3-d fighting style. Oh, and am I the only one who thinks this would make a great movie? So, I gave it 4 out of 10. I got some enjoyment out of it, getting a far as when Sub-Zero meets Raiden and goes to the Nether region (or whatever it was). Unfortunately, you can't go farther on the easy difficulty, and you can't get that far on the harder difficulties because you don't have enough lives to keep falling to your death over and over and over. Sub-Zero's echoing yell is tattooed to my brain.

This movie will offend many Christians. However, I do not think that is the reason it was made, though I am sure Lance Catania knew it was inevitable. Here we have a new approach to the Holy Grail myth. This one is not so pure as those of the past, such as 'Indian Jones, The Last Crusade.' This movie mixes religious icons and chosen protectors of the Grail, with sex and murder. Many Christians, especially fundamentalists, will be deeply offended and denounce that as a Satanic production.

I am a pretty conservative Christian myself, but not only am I not offended, but this movie made me think about the nature of good and evil. Jack, the chosen protector of the Grail, does not believe he is worthy. Well, he is right about that, but that is not why he is chosen. He is a capable man, a man who can withstand trial and tribulation. He is also capable of doing things that good Christians could not, mainly murder. Therefore, he is chosen. The grail must be protected by someone who is mighty in this world, not the next.

Here is my theological conclusion, and I think this is what the writer was going for. God has given us free will, and most of us use it to serve ourselves. Therefore, the world is full of sexual sin, murder, theft, and all manner of iniquity. Of course God could change that, but God will not violate free will. Therefore, God's servants on earth, to accomplish there goals, must be willing to do worldly things. If we all live perfect, righteous lifestyles, we will be helpless in this world. That is fine, because Heaven awaits. However, we have things to accomplish here. I guess what I am saying is, the message of this movie is not one of blasphemy, but one of realism. The world is what it is.

I don't know if I am right or not, but certainly this movie was written to challenge the norms of contemporary Christian beliefs and make us think. It certainly did that for me.

Now, as a horror movie (here comes the sleaze), this movie was good but not great. It had its bloody scenes, but nothing shocking. It had the beautiful seductress, Iona, (She's hot) but its been done. I think Angelique in 'Hellraiser, Bloodlines' was a better seductress. This has more to do with the script than the actress, however. I gave the movie an 8 out of 10. This movie isn't bloody enough to impress those who like blood and sex simultaneously. As a horror movie, it is mediocre and I would not recommend this as a first choice. But, if you've seen all the other latest horror films, than you may as well watch this one too.

Wow, I will never forget this movie. It is about the freakiest freak show I have ever seen or heard of. So you have the world's fattest woman, not too odd, a half man-half woman who sings, too almost beautiful stripper girls, uhhh, wait until you see them naked.

The main character though is Tara, the sweet little wolf-girl. She is like a daughter to the owner of the strip show, a somewhat kind hearted business man. Well, Tara wants nothing more than to be rid of her body hair and be normal. This is amplified when some cruel teenagers come to her show and hurl dog dung at her. Well, this is where the movie really gets started.

I won't go any further, for I hate spoilers. But, I will say this, whoever wrote this movie is either a pervert, a genius, or a lot of both. This shock of this movie makes up for the mediocre script. I rated it 7 our of 10. I don't know if I will ever watch it again, but I will certainly never forget. I suppose it wouldn't be very good a second time. I can't be shocked twice by it after all. Oh, and DO NOT WATCH THIS WITH CHILDREN OR TEENS EVEN!!!

I hated Dawn of the Dead. This was very much like it. You can't throw a bunch of zombies and people with guns and helicopters together and call it a horror movie. The movie didn't have the thrilling terror of 'Night of the Living Dead'. Night was a master piece, but ever since there have been so many flops that have tried to live up to it, and City of the Walking Dead is just another to add to the list.

I will say this for it though, at least the zombies were a force to be reckoned with. They were fast, they showed some signs of intelligence, such as cutting the phone line. In 'Dawn of the Dead', the zombies were so pathetic I don't see how they could take over the world. Even though 'City' fixed that problem, I still don't see how anyone could find this entertaining. Aside from a few brutally gory scenes, there is nothing shocking, nothing groundbreaking, and nothing original about this film. It, like so many other 'of the dead' films, is just a pathetic attempt to like up to the glory that was 'Night of the Living Dead.' Romero got it right the first time, and should have stopped while he was ahead. Then he could have sat back while all these wannabees came out a paled in comparison to his masterpiece.

I gave this movie a 3 out of 10. It had a few shocking scenes worth watching, but the plot was dull, and wait until the pathetic ending thereof. Well, if you liked 'Dawn of the Dead', then you will love this one.

The song says it all, 'This is a house built on sin.' This movie has a somewhat 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' quality to it. But make no mistake, it is an original idea. A group of young adults are exploring the fascinating little places found in rural America and come across this clown fellow with a little gas station/horror ride. After learning the legend of Dr. Satan, they decide to pursue. They come across this rather eccentric family of fun loving evildoers, and all hell brakes loose.

The villains of this 'House of 1000 Corpses' have their own little eccentricities that make you fall in love with them, even if they are murdering sadists, he he. Baby has this youthful giggle as she engages in her inhumanity towards her house guests. She also does an excellent Betty Boop impression, though she doesn't look like her. The long haired artistic rebel has his insane paranoid outlook as he brakes societies shackles and frees his mind to do his work. Wait 'till you see his art, you'll love it. The mother is hospitable but a bit too flirtatious to call a lady.

This movie is one wickedly humorous horror film done on a pretty low budget, though not nearly as low as many others. I highly recommend this for those who are fascinated by the nature of evil, for this movie certainly portrays it well.

Definitely a 9 out of 10. I look forward to Zombie's next production.

Many of the reviews I have read complain that this film is boring or mediocre. I think they are forgetting that it was made in 1958. Considering that, I thought it was very exciting for its time. I certainly loved the acting, but that too is very much in the style of the 50s.

It is the plot twists that make the movie worth watching today (That is, for normal people, not just nostalgics like myself.) You know that the woman is not evil, but what about the two men, Phillip and Mark, and that servant Jonah? Just when you think you have them figured out, the movie flips them again. If you follow it, and don't get too easily bored by the 1950s effects and black and white, I think you will be surprised by how it turns out.

I gave it 9 out of 10. It was a masterpiece of its time and still entertaining today, though I might suggest watching it more as a mystery/drama than a horror film. My only complaint is the title itself, for I was hoping for a haunted house, but there was nothing supernatural about it. No ghosts or ghouls or anything. Ah yes, and I stopped noticing the 'subliminal messages' about 15 minutes into it. They really serve no purpose.

A pretty good B horror movie. It was suspenseful, the plot was a little above mediocrity, but not great. Not much for gore hounds I'm afraid, though there was some blood near the end. The acting was very good, but then, I usually watch stuff like Polonia Bros. and other Microbudget rubbish.

What we have here is a pretty teenage girl played by Allison Lange, who has moved with her father and little brother into an old house. Some creepy things start to happening in this house and it slowly builds up to a climactic ending. Very much in the style of some of the 70s horror, such as 'Amittyville Horror.' This isn't as good as that, because the plot is very predictable after 30 years of such movies, but it is worth watching.

The one thing that stands out is the father and his relationship with Christina. I haven't seen any mention of this in the reviews I have read, but the father seems to have an unnatural love for his daughter, and she seems to know it, but represses it. When she was washing the dishes at one point, he told her something like, 'you look good tonight Christina.' She clearly felt awkward and changed the subject.

All in all, I give this slightly above average suspense horror a 6 out of 10. But Allison Lange should be commended for her acting and I would say deserves to be in some better pictures in the future.

Just as one would expect from a slasher horror. Its just a couple of young adults stranded in the Virginia backwoods being chased by some murderous inbreds. That's the whole plot right there.

Furtunately, slasher films don't need a good plot. Its not about that. This is something you should know before watching a movie like this. The movie is about excitement and gore. There is no nudity in this one, which it didn't need. This movie is an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride. From the horrors in the inbreds' cabin to the climb through the trees for their lives, you will not be bored.

I give this movie a 6 out of 10, which is as high a rating as I can give to such a weak plot. I loved it though, but probably wont see it again. I usually prefer horror movies with good plots, like 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' (All of them), 'The Ring' (My favourite big budget), and 'The House That Screamed II' (My favourite micro budget). For gore hounds, though, this movie is great. I even recommend it for people like me who are big on plots, just for a little excitement to mix things up. Some times a great plot can be a little drawn out, like some of Stephen King's movies based on his novels.

I like the idea of a twisted sadistic horror cartoon with dark humor. However, the failed miserably on the humor. There was nothing funny about this film. Just a few weird looking cartoon characters mutilating people and some silly cartoon music in the background. I takes more than a cartoon doctor removing peoples' guts to impress me. I love low budget horror, but this one was a failure.

If you want some dark humor, with lots of sadism and gore, I recommend Slashers. Brain Damage Films has sponsored some good crap, like The House that Screamed 2, Hell's Highway, and Grave Vengeance. The only thing good about Terror Toons, other than the drag queen mother, that was kind of funny, was the premise itself. Had the writers put more work into the humor aspect of the movie than the cheap blood and guts could have been overlooked.

I give this movie 2 out of 10 stars. It was a good idea, but poorly executed. The music was funny, but that alone does not make for a good twisted sense of humor. Maybe the sequel will be better. With low budget films, unlike big budget horror, the sequels are often better because amateurs learn from their mistakes more often than the pros, who are set in their ways.

Even better than Trading Places. (I will only spoil the first 20 minutes.) Nick Beam, well played by Tim Robbins, is an upper-middle class white man with a pretty wife, a successful career in advertising, and a nice home. His marriage seems happy, but one day he comes home early and sees his wife straddling another man in their bed. He doesn't say anything. She doesn't even know he was there. He finds his boss's cuff links on the way out, and therefore realises that it was his boss whom his wife was on top of.

After driving in a daze at about 20 miles an hour, Nick Beam wanders into the ghetto. This is where Terrance, played by Martin Laurence, attempts to mug him. Well, Nick Beam is so depressed that he really doesn't value his own life, and takes Terrance for a little ride.

The rest of the movie is filled with their crazy adventures. A few robberies, and Tim's gradual transformation into a criminal. There is a hilarious scene where Tim has a spider on his head, freaks out, and... well you'll see. That scene alone would have made the movie worth watching even if the rest were terrible. But fortunately, there is plenty more wacky adventures for these two before the twist at the end.

Most of this is comedy, but it does get a little serious at certain parts. How could the producers contrast the lives of a well-to-do white man with a struggling black man from the ghetto without going into social injustices? Nick Beam accuses Terrance of laziness and wasting his time robbing people instead of finding a job. Terrance never goes into details, but just tells Nick not to judge him. Then, Nick discovered several rejection letters to Terrance from potential employers. Furthermore, Terrance, a mugger, has a wife and kids and he seems to be a good father to them. It looks like Terrance is more than a common thug.

Lastly, I complement the musical choices. The spider dance scene was to the song, I think its called, 'The Scott Man.' Something like that. Its funny. Later in the movie, Pachebel's 'Canon' is played. The song at the end of the movie is a rap to the music of 'Canon.' I don't normally like rap, but I liked that, very creative.

I give the movie a perfect 10. Its not a copy of Trading Places at all, but it does have a similar theme, rich white guy, poor black guy. This is one of the few movies that has made me laugh uncontrollably for more than a few seconds at a time. If you haven't seen it, watch it, and you will watch it many more times after, I guarantee.

This is definitely the best of the series, largely because of the character Sato. I'm afraid Miyagi met his match for oriental stereotypical humour. Miyagi's response to Daniel when asked if he could break a log was funny, 'Don't know, never been attacked by tree.' However, throughout the rest of the movie, Sato steals the stage.

He is a large older man, angry about how Miyagi dishonoured him when they were teenagers. He has an accent and a rough voice that is ingrained in my mind. 'MIYAGIIIII, COME FIGHT!!!!' And my favorite, 'YOUR FEAR MAKE AIR STINK, HUEEWWW!!!' Also, towards the end he is trapped under a log and Miyagi comes to rescue him. He thinks Miyagi is their to fight him and he starts yelling, 'NOW YOU COME TO FIGHT?!!! NOW WHILE I AM HELPLESS?!!!...NOW WHO VILLAGE SEE, THIS IS ONLY WAY, YOU CAN WIN!!!' Chozen was a mere shadow to his uncle Sato. He says things like, 'YOU INSULT MY HONOUR!!!' but isn't nearly as hysterical as Sato.

This is a great movie to see over and over. I give it 7 out of 10. Really, outside the hilarious stereotypes, it was a mediocre plot at best. But I love it. I hope I haven't offended any orientals reading this. I can make fun of white red-necks in Florida like myself too.

I thought this movie was going to be a disgrace to the series. After all, part 3 didn't measure up to part 2, and this one doesn't have Daniel Sawn. Miyagi's humour wasn't quite as witty in this one as in part 3, but it was funny enough to make the movie worth watching.

The girl's part was pretty good. She's a lost teenager who needs direction. I find the plot a little hard to believe. That the aunt would simply agree to leave her home and her niece under the care of Mr. Miyagi, a man she just met. Of course, he was a friend of her brother.

I did appreciate the monastery. One might think from some of my other reviews that I wouldn't have liked the dancing monks, but I thought it was amusing. It showed that they know how to have some fun. Now if these were monks in ancient China dancing to pop-music, that would have been another matter.

Probably the most intelligent part of the movie was when the girl thought it was stupid that the monks wouldn't kill a bug. Miyagi told her that street gangs killing each other is stupid, nations trying to destroy each other is stupid, but having respect for all life is not stupid. Miyagi has expressed such wisdom in the other films as well.

I give this movie a 4 out of 10. Sure, there were some things I liked about it. It wasn't as funny as part three, and no character could ever live up to Sato in part 2. This movie has no re-watch value. I can't imagine watching it again, but it is worth seeing once.

I have read the novel. I could write a long review about how brilliant the novel was and how it did not go with the tradition love story one would expect. Furthermore, the novel did not have the traditional heroes and villains. That is why the novel is so great.

Hollywood, however, just couldn't stand it could they? They had to turn it into a traditional soppy love story about soul mates (Heatchcliff and Catherine.) The truth is, Catherine, in the novel, loved Edgar, maybe more than Heathcliff. Furthermore, Heathcliff, in the novel, though starting off as a victim, turned into a horrible villain. The movie makes him out to be a hero for the most part, though he is cold to his wife Isabel. In the novel, he is downright abusive to her.

This film version took away everything that was original and great about the novel. Many who have read the novel didn't like it because their simple minds can't handle going form sympathising with Heathcliff to hating him. Hollywood certainly pandered to that crowd.

The only thing in this film worth seeing for actual entertainment is Olivier. The acting is brilliant, as one would expect from the greatest actor of all time. I don't like traditional love stories, but Olivier did it as well as it could be done. The early scene with him looking out the window calling for Catherine to come to him is moving. I also have to give credit to the music. It complemented Olivier's acting perfectly.

Olivier gets a 10, the rest of the movie a 1. I decided to give it overall a 4 out of 10. Even with Olivier, this garbage must have a below average rating.