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Mega Piranha (2010 TV Movie)
1/10
Without a doubt, the worst movie ever made
15 April 2010
This movie is the worst thing ever made, period. I saw that Tiffany was in it so I thought I'd watch it. After all, she was cute and pure fluff-pop back in my day...now she's kind of a cow. But, her looks aren't nearly as bad as her acting. Sometimes bad acting can be funny...not in this case. It's just bad. She way overemphasizes every single word out of her mouth. You can't tell what's important and what's not. Then there's the editing...speed up...slow down...speed up...repeat everything and explicitly title everyone's name...hey moron-director and producer ever heard the term "subtle"...no, I didn't think so. There was no talent involved in any way, shape or form in this movie. Of course the story and cinematography were not even freshman, Nowheresville film school quality...Watch ANY first year student film project and it will be orders of magnitude above this in all categories. I've never criticized a film this much before, but I swear to Hitchcock this was that bad. I couldn't even laugh at it because it was so bad and so very sad that a channel that brings us quality work like Battlestar, Caprica, Warehouse 13, and Eurika would even consider airing this piece of garbage.
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6/10
Better that Eagle Eye on a per-dollar basis
1 August 2009
Why is it better than Eagle Eye? 1) it's not the Shia LaBeouf show. 2) It didn't cost the $80 Million that EE did...more likely somewhere around $5M. Let's call it $8M. Hmmm 8 vs 80....is Eagle Eye 10 times better. Not in any remote reality. Could have been better? Sure. Did I like the cliché'd ending? No...that really should have gone a different route. Shane West was just not convincing in his role...okay...especially the ending...well the "almost ending". The very end of the movie seemed a little preachy...the part that took place in Moscow. A little strange part..felt oddly like they were prepping or setting the stage for a sequel.

For what it's worth...Eagle Eye sort of was a rip off of Enemy of the State (as we all agree),but... that was an updated (aka ripoff) of Colossus: The Forbin Project from 1970...now there's a movie that they should just remake. Fantastic for it's time. I remember I had just broken my collarbone, came off a good set of drugs, and watched Colossus...the idea of flashing neon lights and clacking relays controlling the world seems really funny now.

At any rate. I still think this (Echelon Conspiracy) is a fantastic movie...IN THE SENS that for what was "probably" one-tenth of the budget of an Eagle Eye, they got a movie about half (or maybe a little more) as good.
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Dark Blue (2009–2010)
1/10
Another Bruckheimer/Littman piece of crap to bring down TNT
30 July 2009
You think they would have learned with E-Ring. BUT NO!! First, this is TNT, not some watered-down 5 minute attention CBS show. You cannot have a serious, undercover cop show where everything is solved in 50 minutes. I wanted to like this show. It's shot beautifully. It has potential if they'd just not try and compact it for an hour. And TNT...such potential...The Closer and now Leverage. You notice they don't show Leverage previews until partway into Dark Blue. They (TNT) know it's a piece of crap. And now...oooohh...let's draw it out with a bad girl character. We've seen that. It's just weak writing and producing. They can't make the stories work so they want you care about the character. Doesn't work. Dylan McDermott is not Jeff Goldblum (and we all know Dark Blue is no Law and Order...not even L&O:CI). As USA put it...Dark Blue should fade to black.
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10/10
Negative comments are from those who never made a film
29 May 2009
One of the best movies out there for its genre. The cinematography cannot be beat. Nearly every shot in the movie is a work of art. The back/side lighting setting the mood...some of the overhead camera work...the simple little overhead bathroom shot, for example, looks like it took a day just for the one shot. The pace is what you want for this type of film...neither too fast nor too slow.

Dialog and acting play very little in this type of film. And yeah, some of the roto and greenscreen outside the train car was overdone a little and looks obviously fake....but it seemed like that was the look they were going for....not too realistic...the obviousness of the fake look added to the surrealism of the moment.

IT'S A GENRE MOVIE. It's not supposed to be the perfect acting or storytelling job.

Those of us who have actually made and sold films of this type (horror/thriller genre) know the work it took to pull something off this well.
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Juncture (2007)
1/10
Terrible
25 October 2008
Yes this movie really is as bad as a movie can be.

If someone was trying to make a loser of movie, I don't think they could have succeeded any better than this. The premise is old and tired. Also, revenge-filled,lead-females simply don't sell...look a Jodie Foster's movie, The Brave One...studios aren't touching this genre right now.

The cinematography is NOT good, many shots are out of focus including the opening where she is sitting on a park bench. A really difficult feat for a digital camera. But then, the out of focus shots keep on coming.

Then there is the audio. The lead actress speaks so softly compared to other people in the various scenes, it's as if there was no sound engineer on the set. At least, in post, they should have tried to normalize the conversations.

Next, the writing. OMG...did someone not think to get coverage on this script? Finally...the acting...some of it is pretty okay, but not the lead. Totally unbelievable...no emotion...no nothing...Sure, some of it can be attributed to the poor script, but didn't someone think to tell her to speak more clearly? I tried to watch it, but could only get through about 5 minutes before I couldn't take any more.
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Steel Trap (2007)
3/10
Ugly People
30 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I agree with much of the previous stuff...bad writing, dialog, etc., but what I really found most shocking was how ugly the cast was. I mean...in a horror? Don't you really want to see pretty people being killed, maimed, raped, tortured, etc.... Here, it looks like they went around to all the plastic surgeons' offices in town and took all the "befores" and threw them in the movie. Old ones at that. Everyone appeared to be at least in their 30s.

***** Spoiler -- sort of ***** That "prettiest girl in the room" line just killed me!!! I think it wasn't as much an exclusive party as where the rest of the town hid out all the ugly people.
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10/10
Wow!
29 August 2007
Okay, I won't give away any spoilers, though there's really not that much to give away. A Stasi officer spies on a writer...that's the Cliff Notes' version, but it is all in how it is told.

But man, I watched this and couldn't pull myself away. When I was done, I looked at the box and saw that it was over 2 hours...usually beyond my comfort zone, but it felt like half that.

I checked...they made this for $2M dollar. If you look closely you can see that it's very simple sets...stark for the officer...cluttered for his subject. Everything was just done so correctly...lighting, sound, camera moves...simply, yet beautifully...every shot, every edit, fit the story.

So much said in the story without overuse of dialogue....It's called a thriller...I think that is a bit too generous...it's more of a drama...I mean in a thriller, the protagonist is generally forced into a situation...here, I think, Wiesler actually goes into it voluntarily at the start, and only afterward has his crisis of faith in the system.

It's probably not for everyone...certainly not a summer blockbuster, ROMCOM, or slasher...cinemaphiles will certainly like it more than most others, but I wouldn't call it a "heady" film either.
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