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SamanthaGladue
Reviews
Ambulance (2022)
600 required review characters??
TLDW:
Me: "whoever wrote this was on speed."
My partner: "whoever wrote this really wanted to be a doctor."
Five minutes later the EMT says
"I was in my third year of residency but then I got addicted to speed."
The lengthy review; nonstop nonsense. Honestly these guys gotta run out of gas, but they don't. Insert a lot of ego building exposition. Insert more LAPD pedestal camaraderie. Everyone's special. The EMT is a model. Everything is hyped up. But really they're just in an ambulance driving around avoiding execution by force only bc they have a cop in there as hostage. Okay I have now reached my character limit. Thank you for reading, goodbye.
The Black Phone (2021)
Wholesome?
As a huge horror fan, I found this more to be a story about growing up going through trauma rather than a scary movie. It was more a suspense thriller with horror elements than a scary horror.
Still, I was left with questions like:
Where is the backstory for the masked man? How did he become this way?
Why are all these boys in this town so violent?
How come Vinny didn't pop his old man in the face with the phone at the end?
Licorice Pizza (2021)
An unnecessary film
Licorice Pizza, would you eat it?
No.
This movie would have been amazing if it were just Benny Safdie's character's story instead.
Also, normalizing the Romance of a 25 and 15 year old is gross.
The end.
Spencer (2021)
An all-too-real royal horror
This movie played out like a slow burning horror film, a descent into madness due to the high stress of royal slavery and having to conform.
Diana is so very alone and surrounded by the wrong people. And she cannot escape. It was a very sad thing to watch, and even sadder knowing it was just a glimpse of her life as a royal.
Kristin Stewart did an amazing job playing a figure piece meant to shut up, dress up, and smile all while dying inside not being able to be your true self.
The scarecrow, just another thing to dress up.
Last Night in Soho (2021)
What genre is this exactly?
This movie was all over the place and seemed to have a hard time finding itself.
It was as if the creation were several different ideas forced into one movie.
The redeeming quality is that of a one minute scene where we get to see Sam Clafin do what he does best: fill the void with the intricacies of his facial expressions. The man can act without speaking. Though he does have lines it is a nice reminder that micro expressions are very much appreciated in the acting world.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Recast everybody
And I'll watch season 2.
While I am an avid sci-fi fantasy reader and watcher-I did not read the books.
With that being said it was hard to not notice the massive similaires to LOTR. Almost like this was a Fanfic to that and GOT.
My gripes are the acting (all the potential dragons are one dimensional and lackluster) , the wardrobe (yo, I have that same jacket from TJ max) and the set.
Exception: Thom Merrilin, he was great.
P. S.
Sorry for venting.
Silent Night (2021)
Did I just watch an anti-Vaxx propaganda movie?
Spoiled galore, beware:
During Christmas time, a group of friends collect in a country house to have one last night of camaraderie before the impending apocalypse, which is presented as poisonous cloud storms that once inhaled kill you in a painful death.
To avoid the painful death, the government, sends you a painless suicide pill so you can "die with dignity" instead of painful. The campaign has worked and people are taking this pill, and thus dying peacefully instead of painfully.
This group of friends has gathered to all die with dignity together. Along with their children.
However, in this house of long time friends, there is a boy named Arthur (the youngest son of two parents), who is not jaded in the sense that he will just believe anything he hears, and his critical thinking is through the rough. After some consideration, He doesn't want to take the pill. His parents argue with him and he runs away, inhaling one of the poisonous cloud storms and suffering a painful death, bleeding out the eyes. Everyone else takes their pills and dies. Once everyone's dead. Arthur, the only one who didn't take the pill, wakes up.
Roll credits.
So-don't believe everything your government tells you and don't swallow the pills they hand out after their long campaign of die with dignity.
What's more likely to happen in this apocalyptic scenario: people would feel their impending doom and instead of dying with dignity have a blackout-riot and murder/pillage until their painful death. The mentally divergent would suffer till the end of their own choosing, or take the pill. The rich people would be too entitled to die in general and die anyway.
I really think the only people who would take this pill would have already been experiencing suicidal ideation.
But that's just my opinion.
Dýrið (2021)
TLDR
TLDR:
"Wow, these sheep are really good actors."
My husband laughs
"I'm not kidding."
He replies, "I know, you're dead serious."
BEWARE: SPOILERS:
Actors did a great job.
Icelandic atmosphere dope.
However, this was labeled as a horror.... So I went into it, as a horror junkie, with ideas: 'are these sheep going to revolt and kill their shepherds?! In a mass ramage? To honor/retrieve/worship their sheep god-child?'
'Is that baby krampus?' 'Is that baby Baphomet?' 'Or is it the devil'
None of the above: it was a cute little lamb kid stolen from its mom and later retrieved by its dad.
Would have watched the flip side of the story:
Liam-Neeson as the Sheep-Daddy, a Revenge Flick.
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021)
I think this just became my favorite movie
You know one of those movies you can watch over and over again and still laugh.
Also helps if you're from the Midwest, as these ladies remind me of every Wisconsin Mom I've ever met.
Prey (2021)
I pray you skip this one
Long story meant to be short:
The most dangerous game.
A lot like 'red dot', which was way better due to climate and characters.
Would have been cool if:
The shooter were herding the men toward a monster for sacrifice.
Palmer (2021)
"Eh"
I guess it's about redemption and helping others through times of adversity.
Both my parents and my husband fell asleep.
The dog too.
I left 30 minutes before the end to go wash dishes and fold laundry.
Review brought to you by a Jessica Biel fan.
Dr. Death (2021)
Chemistry
Really love the chemistry between Slater and Baldwin.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Will watch sequel
Just saying.
10/10,
Michael Booker and Dylan O'Brien were great.