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Isaiah53-1
Reviews
The Omen (2006)
Better then the original!!!
I found the omen to be both refreshing and tense. I have seen the original and found this updated version to be much better then its predecessor. I honestly don't understand the low rating this film has received; it blends all the aspects of the original, which made it great, with new and updated events and camera use. The acting is wonderfully done, especially Damien, and the actors easily fit the mold of the characters they are to portray. It is a sound horror without overdone violence, gore or sexuality that Hollywood seems so determined to churn out these days. I highly recommend this movie and give it a solid 7.
Doogal (2006)
I would kick that dog if I could
Seriously, this is possibly the worst animated feature of all time. Not only is the story LAME, but it jumps around way too much. There is absolutely no character development whatsoever. The voice acting is horrendous; the voices don't fit the characters at all. You would think with Jimmy Fallon and Whoopi Goldberg, the movie would be somewhat amusing
it was just the opposite. I found myself wanting to kick that stupid little dog right in the face. He is obnoxious and condescending. If I hadn't fallen asleep half way through, the entire experience would have been a waste. I would rather watch Ben Affleck as Hamlet for a month straight, then see this "movie" one more time. Don't waste your time
don't waste your money and don't insult your kids by making them choke through this mess.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
Pleasantly Surprised
Like most that went to see this movie I was expecting "The Exorcist" re-incarnated. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was not the case at all. As you well know by now the movie centers around a courtroom drama involving Emily (Carpenter) who died after a failed exorcism attempt. Being Catholic, I was extremely happy to finally see a Hollywood production where the Church is not portrayed as the "big bad Catholic Church". Fr. Moore (Wilkinson) is portrayed as a loving, caring man of God; who (like most Priests) care deeply for their parishioners. The film is pretty much theologically correct, the only exception being the fact that Exorcisms are always performed with at least two Priests. I enjoyed this slower, non-gory, non-sexual, non-profane, tale whose suspense pulled you in from the beginning and held you until the end. Incidentally, I did a little research on the net and discovered the movie was based on the real life experience of a German-born girl named Anneliese Michal who died in 1976. I am sure the director took some artistic-liberty in telling the tale, but in all it was an excellent film. I am sick to death of CGI, over the top, dead children/ghosts horror movies. This film is well done and well worth the money to see in the theater. 8/10.
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Historically and Theologically Inaccurate
This movie epitomizes the 'secular humanist' slant of history that is often portrayed in Hollywood today. Imagine if you will, those of you that know anything about history, that a young peasant living is a small village in Europe would be elevated to lord and defender of Jerusalem. Further compounding the problem is that the only 'hero' in this movie (Bloom) is agnostic at best. The Muslim invaders are portrayed as kind and honorable while the Christian defenders are depicted has vile, hateful, war-mongers. Typical Hollywood. I also took issue with the blatant attack upon the Catholic Church, it's clergy are either cruel or inept; ready to abandon their faith at the first sign of trouble. While Bloom's character is the only one with any sense of intelligence and an ability to "do the right thing"
come on give me a break. I am sick and tired of Hollywood's overt attack upon Christianity in general and this movie adds fuel to the fire. If you have no care about historical accuracy or if you have no faith in anything; go and see this movie. If not, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. 2/10
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
Put a fork in it, it's done!
It is safe to say, with this debacle, the Exorcist title has been exhausted. I hate to say it, but I had somewhat high expectations for this film. I went to two different video stores and almost purchased a copy (yikes, what a waste of $20 that would have been). I absolutely loved the original and thought, "Hey, its 2005, how bad could the prequel be?" TERRIBLE!!!! Just as I was about to write this review I sat and tried to think of one, just one, redeeming quality in this movie. Originality?-nope, acting?-nuh uh, effects?-guess again, script?-forget about it. In fact, I couldn't think of one thing what would justify a half-way decent rating. The only reason I didn't rate it lower is because; I SHOULD HAVE KNOW BETTER!!! Okay, as if poorly CGI'ed Hyenas ripping a little kid to pieces while everyone watches wasn't bad enough; they also decided to include a stillborn baby crawling with maggots and a toddler being blown to bits by none other the NAZI'S. Not only that but the sheer implausibility of the story is enough to make anyone with two brain cells say, "um, what?" Okay, so the Catholic Church built and buried an entire church, replete with marble statues and lithographs, then buried it completely
oh yeah did I mention it was 500 AD? Did they have shovels in 500 AD? GARBAGE!!!!! What ever happened to good old fashioned horror movies? Movies that didn't rely upon gore and terrible effects, but actually had some semblance of a plot, is that too much to ask for? I wish Hollywood stop spewing this trash and try to be original. Don't waste your time
I give it a 2.
Cursed (2005)
Did that really happen?
I went into this movie expecting a classic re-invention of Wes Craven, would the old Wes be back? Could he reclaim the glory of Nightmare on Elm Street or Last house on the Left? No, he could not and did not. Within the first twenty minutes of the movie I discovered the trailer to this movie was somewhat deceiving. Instead of horror greatness I was greeted by a campy rehash of Scream, delete serial killer insert werewolves and you have cursed. Having deduced this much I settled in for a genre of movie that, as embarrassed as I am to admit, I thoroughly enjoy.
Until the last half hour of this movie I decided to patronize this site and give this movie a solid six, on sheer entertainment value alone. A six that is until the final two scenes of this movie. The first deduction of vote, happened when the fearsome, yet poorly CGI'ed werewolf, overcome with frustration due to an insulting remark fired about it's thighs, "flipped the bird" at Ricci. Can a werewolf do that? Apparently if the script is written poorly enough. I quickly surmised that in good conscience I could not now rate this movie a six and quickly justified a solid five.
A five that is until the final scene of the movie. You know what? I can live with were-dogs gone bad, I can stomach poor acting and cheesy homosexual one-liners, but I cannot stand aside and attempt to justify the villain going up in a sulfuric blaze. Are you kidding me? Did they run out of special effects money? Maybe they couldn't think of a plausible way the "head werewolf" would die? Who knows, all I know is that this lone act of treachery resulted in my final vote
a four. Not since the Bills/Oilers playoff game, have I seen anyone blow it so completely in the final minutes...
If you don't mind poor CGI and terrible acting or if you are in the mood for a campy, teen, 'WB' cast remake of the last twenty 'horror' movies, then by all means see this movie, if not, wait for the DVD.
Hitch (2005)
I cannot believe I am doing this!!!
Okay, let me say it right off the bat, 'I do not like romantic comedies!!'. But, once in a while (actually only once before) a RC comes along that breaks the barriers of my manhood; Jerry McGuire being the other. Let me break it down for you.
My wife drug me to this movie kicking and screaming all the way, just knowing it would be the typical: Guy meets girl-guy loses girl-guy gets girl back, type of movie. Don't get me wrong this movie does fit this profile, but with much greater depth. The acting is GREAT; I think I will now allow Will Smith back in my 'Circle of Trust' (he was soundly booted after his performance in 'I, Robot'). The story is somewhat unique, but the addition of Kevin James made all the difference. I have been in these situations before and couldn't wait to get out of the seat and back home to watch ESPN, but there is something special about this film.
I gave this movie a 9, only because my male pride will not allow me to give a Romantic Comedy any higher of a rating. Go and see this movie!
Saw (2004)
The Best Thriller in Years!!!
I cannot say enough about this classic thriller! From top to bottom this is one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. As you recall this movie came out the same time as the classic flop, "The Grudge". Putting aside my instinct I regrettably chose to watch the later in the theatre
Bad Move! This movie has everything one looks for in a classic thriller. Great acting, unique plot, suspense, and a dramatic ending! Really, I am very picky about my movies, especially those in the horror/thriller genre. I pride myself on figuring the end as soon as possible, I thought I had it down pat, as was I surprised. This movie really delivers, don't waste another second! SEE SAW TODAY!!! I give it a 9!!
Hide and Seek (2005)
The best tribute movie ever made...
I call it the best tribute movie of all time because there was not one second of originality in the entire film. The movie contains what I like to call the "Trifecta" of clichéd horror movies.
1) Long drawn out moments of loosely tied "clues" that have absolutely nothing to do with the movie plot. 2) The classic cheesy horror movie line, "Hide and Seek this dirt bag"
um what? 3) The typical opening for the regurgitated sequel
Seriously, I call this a "tribute" movie because if you have ever seen: Secret Window; The Shining; The Sixth Sense or Psycho then you have seen this theatrical masterpiece. Here let me run it down for you
Mom kills herself and is discovered by dad and kid-dad figures instead of professional help he should pack up everything and move to some freaked out version of Mayberry in the middle of the woods-decides to buy a ridiculously huge Bates motel house for him and his daughter-the creepy neighbors continue to bother him with jelly and terrible dialogue-dad meets hot single chick (a.k.a. gold digger) who is promptly met with seriously disturbed kid with an imaginary friend known as Charlie-blah, blah, blah
dead cat, dead gold digger
inharmonious moments
BAM-there is a sixth sense revelation where DeNiro realizes he is the Charlie-bimbo to the rescue-cheesy line (see #2)-end of movie.
Do yourself a favor, save some money, stay home and watch paint dry. I give this this tragedy a generous 3.