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1/10
The Matrix is dead. Full Stop.
14 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I LOVED(!!!!!) the original Matrix film. It was intelligent, beautifully filmed, and the action sequences were ahead of their time. The sequels weren't nearly as good but its hard to catch lightning in a bottle three times in a row.

This "film" looks more like someone used their iPhone 13, pulled a TikTok with Keanu and Carrie, and literally recast and reshot the original film with the dumbest plots possible. They (I kid you not) had scenes of the first Matrix movie PROJECTED onto bedsheets(?!?!?) when they met Neo like it was some weekend garage band party. I did that stuff at my kids' birthday parties in the late-'90s. This is supposed to be centuries in the future???

Like Keanu for much of this film, I was so seriously confused halfway through who was whom (Morpheus wasn't Fishburne, Weaving wasn't Smith but his NAME had a new UNintimidating fratboy in jeans and t-shirt playing the iconic role, the Oracle ain't around no more, the machines are our FRIENDS???, they don't need phones anymore to transport because there are mirrors everywhere (OMG...), Neo's buddies kickbox sentients scene after bloodless scene but nobody dies -- or is even bruised, but, OH WAIT! Neo ain't all-powerful no more either so they're all dead anyway... who wrote this garbage??...). The whole thing just felt like they took all the good from the FIRST film, put it into a blender, and threw it on screen since the audience wasn't gonna catch up anyway because it's "art".

B***. S***. I can cut off my ear too but it don't make me Picasso.

And just because a bunch of fanboys and fangirls that are trying to sell tickets "get it" doesn't mean it's any good. Anyone can find something redeemable in a steaming pile of crap if you dig hard enough.

And I gotta say... If you're gonna replace an all-time villian like Hugo Weaving with Doogie Howser M. D... Hollywood needs new casting directors -- and writers/directors.

This was all kinds of bad. I'm not faulting Keanu and Carrie. They acted what they were given on the script. This is the studio and the "filmmakers" monstrosity thrown together as a desperate cash grab to squeeze more money out of the sheeple they despise so distinctly in the film.

Thanks, Wachowskis. You ruined the franchise. Now retire to your palaces built on sham profits and leave filmmaking to people who actually want to make coherent and entertaining films.

The Matrix is truly... dead.
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7/10
Made-for-TV miniseries as a tribute to 1980 USA Olympic athletes
7 April 2020
I remember this two-part NBC miniseries running when the 1980 Moscow Olympics were boycotted by the United States. It was supposed to coincide with the Games, but instead was run as a tribute. I saw both parts when I was still in high school and it made a distinct, positive impression on me.

Plot: Wayne Robinson is a college football player drafted into the NFL. But before he joins the team, he gets a head-injury during a rodeo. He is diagnosed as a "health risk" by the doctors so he is no longer insurable by professional football. Since he still has his elite speed, he tries out for the Olympic team in the decathlon and makes the cut to begin training alongside brash American phenom, Gene Davis. Leading up to the 1980 Moscow Games, a "friendly" series of athletic events are held where Wayne meets Viktor Andreyev, a friendly Russian decathlete and they become fast friends. Viktor invites Wayne to watch his little sister, Anya, compete in gymnastics at the same event. Wayne and Anya are immediately smitten but need to keep it a secret. As they arrive in Moscow for the Olympics, Viktor invites Wayne to dinner with his family. Wayne and Anya date secretly on the side until Viktor finds out and pushes them apart. I won't give any further details, but suffice to say this is a romantic drama between two star-crossed (re: Cold War) lovers during a boycott.

I remember being immediately smitten with the lovely Stephanie Zimbalist (pre-"Remington Steele). I'm sure she broke many a schoolboy's heart with her sweet Russian accent and tear-stained eyes. As any athlete/ex-athlete will attest, love in the midst of athletic competition is not only heightened, but can be either the ultimate euphoria or the most devastatingly catastrophic low, depending on the outcome.

This film was one of my "white whales". Whenever I would mention "The Golden Moment" as one of my most special memories, everyone I spoke to had never heard of it. Who remembers a "one-off" miniseries from 40 years ago?? I had to search for decades before FINALLY coming across an old VHS copy recently (the bland brown cardboard box was uninspiring and the tape had been edited down to 1hr-58mins VHS vs. the original 3+ hour network premiere). This has never been released on DVD to my knowledge. It is standard "movie-of-the-week" fare -- cheap sets (re: high school track meets, dark backgrounds for cheering crowds, obvious stand-ins doing the events, etc.), weak dialogue/accents, predictable storyline... but this movie still checks many boxes in relation to competition, casting, and long-distance love affairs. And look at that cast... James Earl Jones, Merlin Olsen, Victor French, Jack Palance, David Keith, Stephanie Zimbalist... My goodness! The plot may be considered cheesy by most standards, but if you saw it back in the day, you really felt for the two attractive leads and their pre-Communist downfall dilemma.

I still think people like Wayne and Anya could exist in this world. I would hope that they would have met again under much happier, less political times. In my heart, I hope they were able to unite their medal count under the same roof. And, yes, Anya still has a special place in my memories!

This movie was very standard stuff. Nothing groundbreaking. But it still hits a sweet spot in my heart. "The Golden Moment" may not win the gold medal, but it definitely is worth being a member of the Olympic team - even if it is the only American to ever appear at the 1980 Moscow Olympics.
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Home Theater Revolution (2005 TV Movie)
7/10
Reality TV meets home theater
23 February 2020
If you have watched shows like "Trading Spaces" or "Love It or List It", you will know the concept. It's about a family that takes a bland bonus room, puts it into the hands of a talented Theater Room architect/designer team, and ten days later, they have a finished home theater for a mere $15,000 plus equipment (meaning $50,000 total for one room). They designer, Theo, is very much a genius at sound and video acoustics as well as lighting and ambience. The family are attractive, energetic and excited for the finished product. The construction team walks us through their build at each stage, showing how not everything is as smooth as you'd expect on every action. In the end, we are shown the finished product and the reveal with the entire extended family as they watch their first movie on the big screen. Enjoyable watch, even if technology has passed the time of the filming (not the show's fault). Inspirational stuff for anyone looking to make their own home theater. Recommended.
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3/10
This is a shameful rip-off of the awesome first movie
6 February 2020
"Ghostbusters" was a FANTASTIC, funny, original high-concept film that caught the world by storm and deserves to be remembered for the classic it has become. "Ghostbusters II" doesn't deserve to share the same title with the first movie.

Whomever is giving "Ghostbusters II" a rating of 6+ on IMDb is either a member of the original SNL fan club or has never watched a decent comedy in their lives. This movie is a train wreck. It's like watching a beloved set of characters from a terrific movie and watching the actors prostitute themselves with ridiculous plotlines, horrible special effects (even for 1989), and just plain lazy writing (and acting) thrown in to try to resemble a finished movie. This was only "Ghostbusters" in casting alone. The entire premise is a toned-down and incredibly unfunny remake of the original and repackaged as a sequel. The closest analogy I can come up with is like taking the most incredible, original, sharply-designed roll of toilet paper, then taking the end of it and flushing it down the toilet and watching all the energy, humor and genuine originality being sucked in and be destroyed down the sewer until it is a pile of garbage and completely unrecognizable at the end. That's "Ghostbusters II". You won't even remember how good the original movie was once this movie ends.

For people to call "Ghostbusters - Answer The Call" a money-grab and unfunny sequel, they never watched this abomination. This is not "Ghostbusters II". This was a pointless waste of 108 minutes that can never be refunded. Shame on whomever was behind this pile of garbage. There's a reason there wasn't a "Ghostbusters III". This is that reason.
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Garbo Talks (1984)
5/10
Looking back at this title, it's disturbing
15 January 2020
Garbo Talks is a movie I remember appreciating when I saw it in 1985 on HBO. I didn't know much about Greta Garbo but it was a cute premise that had potential. Anne Bancroft has always been charming and I liked Ron Silver as the put-upon Gilbert. It gave me good memories. That's pretty much what I remembered.

Recently, I watched an EXCELLENT documentary on Garbo, explaining her life before, during and after stardom. And how her ironclad disappearance and steadfast decision to stay away from the spotlight for the rest of her life may have been sad to us mortals, but she earned the right to live her life as she saw fit. And that distance should have been respected. It rekindled thoughts of this movie due to the fact it is named, "Garbo Talks", so I sought it out on DVD these decades later, even though I knew it wasn't her actually involved with the project. Sometimes, we should leave old memories in the past...

This is basically a movie about an unbearable caricature of a "New Yawk" of a mother demanding her low-self-esteemed son stalk a private citizen and require the decidedly-anti-public screen legend come visit her in the hospital as her one and only dying wish. Yes, that's the plot in a nutshell.

I won't give away the ending but let me say - Anne Bancroft... she did better work in better movies. I will say this movie does have some charms in specific scenes. The supporting characters Gilbert meets along his quest to find Garbo are very adorable and worth watching to see. I kinda fell in love with both the old photographer and Harvey Fierstein, both worth the price of admission. And Ron Silver, who grew up to play lots of heavies and low-lifes in future movies, comes across as genuinely loving son and wants to do the right thing by his battle-axe mother.

But, in the end, I just felt this movie was a product of it's time cashing in on the carefully cultivated and notoriously shy persona of a legend who literally wanted to be left alone in NO uncertain terms. So what does the director do? Not only did he get a resounding silence of a response from anyone who knew Garbo about actually APPEARING in a movie that quite literally ripped off Garbo's name to sell tickets... But they actually had a STAND-IN playing Garbo (and "Garbo Talks" is not true at all - it wasn't Garbo in the first place - minor spoiler only if you didn't read the credits on telling you it's a stand-in) so any resemblance of coming full circle with actual truth is a figment of the audience's imagination.

The last thing I will state about this travesty is this: Greta Garbo's personal life at the time this movie was created was completely shown in such great detail, including but not limited to her ACTUAL building AND apartment number in New York City, favorite vacation locations down to the exact houses she stayed, her food preferences, her walks into New York antique stores and flea markets.... her ENTIRE personal life was on screen. And Greta was STILL ALIVE when this was filmed.

Honestly. Let's put aside the genuinely honest, safe fans like you and I who really loved Garbo and would do anything possible to keep her safe and love her from the distance. But think of the reckless propaganda given to crackpots and harmful nuts in the public to potentially endanger a very shy, ultra-private citizen. It is known Garbo would occasionally visit her movies in disguise. Any opinion on whether she would have visited a showing of a movie literally named after her most famous ad campaign in 1931? The panic that poor woman must have felt of watching her entire life on screen and nothing she could do to feel safe again... My heart breaks for the Great Garbo. She deserved soooooo much better.

If you saw this movie in 1984-85 in it's original run, please try to remember it for what it was. In 2020 and beyond, if you want to know about Greta Garbo, watch one of her AWESOME older movies - Flesh And The Devil, Anna Karenina, Queen Christina, Grand Hotel... and if you wanna hear the ORIGINAL movie that was advertised as "Garbo Talks!" in 1931, watch Anna Christie. Hearing Greta Garbo's actual lustful, husky, beautiful voice for the first time versus listening to Anne Bancroft robbing the lines at every turn so we CAN'T hear Garbo talk is a travesty. Garbo deserved to be left alone. And SHE was the legend. Movies using her name to sell tickets shouldn't be allowed to share her name at all. Disappointed.
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4/10
Waaay overhyped
15 January 2020
I loved "Cat People". The only thing this has in common is the cast and a reference "kinda" to Irina actually basically killing/suicide previously in one brief conversation. That's the end of the prequel. In this movie, a bright, pretty six-year-old spends the next 66 mins (yes, that's the length of this "full-length" movie) telling her parents, an old unhinged neighbor, said neighbor's may/may not be her equally unhinges daughter, the Jamaican butler... that "my friend" (imaginary friend = Irina) is a magical being that helps this little girl to feel less isolated. They used this in Child Psychology classes to give an example of isolated children. Rightfully so. But this is not a documentary. The acting is very, very pedestrian if not downright amateurish. Adults scare children w frightening images and stories. Spanking is treated as the worst punishment for lying when it could be worse when a deranged neighbor has your child unannounced in her house for hours at a time... This movie is a mess, as is my review. This is not worth the legendary status it has. I'm a Simone Simon fan. She deserved to be better represented than just looking beautiful and smiling incessantly for six scenes... Watch "Cat People" and forget this was just a massive money grab when it's not a real sequel.
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9/10
A "documentary" for Pirate stories as "Spinal Tap" is to Rock Bands
21 November 2019
This is one of the most clever documentaries about the origins of the Dread Pirate Roberts' mystique as one will find. Packaged on the "Buttercup Edition" of "The Princess Bride" DVD from 2006, this 11-minute short interviews four experts about how the Dread Pirate Roberts and Bartholomew "Black Bart" Roberts from the early-1700s could be historically similar characters. What pushes this quite by-the-numbers documentary apart from other intellectually mundane subject matters is that one of the "experts" happens to be... an imposter. No spoilers in this review but suffice to say, somewhere on this IMdB page has the answer to the riddle. The documentary is concise, clever, and interesting on the Black Bart data. It gently nods to the historical accuracy/comparisons between the Dread Pirate and Black Bart being, quite possibly, one in the same. If you can find this gem on DVD, it is worth the exercise. Quite entertaining in exactly the same tongue-in-cheek manner "The Princess Bride" uses in it's presentation of classic fairy tales with a touch of whimsy and sense of humor mixed into generally accepted fairy tale canon. Much recommended!
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2/10
Pretentious bore explaining the meaning of life with no meaning
27 July 2018
I had always heard how amazing this film was from every critic and pseudo-intellectual I came across while in college. It rented all the time at our video store. My Dinner with Andre was considered by Siskel and Ebert to be one of the greatest movies of all-time. BOTH of them said they wished Hollywood would put out many, many more similar movies. I can't tell you how excited I was waiting for the Criterion DVD to arrive this week for this "masterpiece"...

I've never been a fan of Hollywood's elite choosing what should and shouldn't be made into a movie. The mind-numbing trash Hollywood is putting out today in straight-to-video quality of writing and visuals is overwhelming. But whatever powers that be chose to never make another movie about two dull, middle-aged, marginally-talented (Wallace at least) Broadway wannabes talking existential nonsense for TWO HOURS while we watch them eat.... THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING ANOTHER MOVIE LIKE THIS!!!!

There's a reason Louis Malle worked on almost no budget to create this. Put three cameras in a restaurant and tell two guys to talk about whatever comes into your brain. No point. No direction. No rest for my ears. It's just Andre talking and talking and talking and talking... I mean NON-STOP. I tuned out in the first 15 minutes and never found my footing again. It was like listening to white noise when you go to sleep - you know there's something happening in front and around you, but you couldn't care less what it is and eventually you just fall asleep through the incessant racket. Welcome to My Dinner with Andre.

I know there is supposed to be some higher meaning that my dimwitted brain cannot grasp that superior intellects will look down their collective noses at me and shout, "See! THIS is art! And you're too thick to grasp the overall nuances of this masterpiece." Okay, here's my dilemma... Explain to me how watching two guys talk - about nothing really interesting or tangible btw - is entertaining. They (or, to be more precise, Andre) talks about existentialism, nipple-suckling teddy bears in Poland, Tibetan stories that make no logical sense... and I'm an idiot for getting to the end and saying, "That's it?"

Movies are entertainment. I get more entertainment watching carefree school children playing any sport for two hours. Sitting in an abandoned schoolhouse in the middle of the Peru rainforest singing an English hymn, only to be surrounded by Spanish singing villagers creating a choir of angelic proportions. Hiking for two hours into the forest or along a beach where the only noise I hear is the wind blowing, or waves crashing, or branches rustling... that's entertainment too. But it does not make a two hour Hollywood movie.

I am starting to question what qualifies as an "important movie" in the Criterion Collection. If this movie is art, I'll steer clear of future Criterion movies and find something better to do with my time. Come on, Criterion. Do a revival of Buster Keaton's "The General". Do a first-class Blu Ray of "Cinema Paradiso". Find a long-lost noir from the 1940s like "Nightmare Alley" that deserves to be rediscovered. But a two-hour film about two full-of-themselves playwrights talking about a fantasy world that only they inhabit??? Worthless waste of time.

Wally Shawn: LOVE you when you act in a proper movie. Not in this garbage. Sorry.

It only gets a 2 out of 10 because Wally is an awesome human being. No other reason.
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10/10
If I'd seen this as a kid, I probably wouldn't have flunked geometry in high school
13 December 2017
This movie is a must-watch by anyone from age 6+. It may be from Disney. It may have a cute, animated Donald Duck on the cover. It may be a classic "short" (27 mins). What is most impressive about this IMPORTANT piece of entertainment is the ability to converge entertainment with education to create something children, high school students, and professional mathematicians alike see the value of this excellent little film.

This is not your standard short about Donald playing hockey with his triplet nephews. It isn't Mickey and Pluto chasing Chip and Dale up one tree and down another. It isn't Goofy "YA-HA-hooey"ing his way along another bumbling adventure. This is good old fashioned egghead mathematics in the most joyful, silly, absorbing way possible. It is a marvel.

If you are a math teacher, PLEASE buy a DVD copy of this and show it annually to your classes, no matter what grade - 1st-12th -- even university-level would find it invigorating. If you are a student of any age, track this down and watch it. You'll never look at music, chess, pool tables, or algebraic equations (yes, they are all in there) the same again.

The best review I can give is this: My sister-in-law teaches 4th grade math and had never heard of this show. I went home and pulled it out of our library to "loan" to her. When my college-age son saw what I had in my hand, his eyes lit up. "My Trig teacher put that on for us! It's AWESOME!!!" I'm 52 and flunked geometry in high school. My 19yo son was an honors math student through high school. If we can BOTH find this little short to be incredible, I could ask nothing more.

Disney, I applaud you. Thank you for this tiny slice of edutainment that is worth every penny and every second spent watching. It's pure "mathematical joy" - two words I never thought would share the same sentence in my vocabulary.
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Summer of '42 (1971)
5/10
This movie is better left a pleasant memory than to watch it again.
25 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I remember watching this in high school. It was one of those "wish I was Hermie" moments with one look at Jennifer O'Neill. I think any teenage boy would fall in love/lust with just one look at her. If you would have asked my IMDb score when I was 15, my answer would have been 10 out of 10.

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug," as the saying goes...

The cinematography was exquisite. The settings, magnificent. Of course, the music is still timeless. Jennifer O'Neill... extraordinarily luminous. However... If movies have a shelf life, this one's expired somewhere in the early-80s. What I never considered about this movie was just how poorly written and acted this story really was as a film. My understanding is this was based on a true encounter for the author. I'm sure he had wonderful memories of that lady. I wish those memories would have been translated into a more enjoyable viewing experience.

I don't know who cast this movie in 1971, but the actors acted like an early-'70s beginning actors' workshop. All were stiff, forced and delivered lines like they read the simplistic script off-screen, stepped in front of the camera and regurgitated those basic words or tried to improv the rest. There was no chemistry between Hermie and Dorothy. The three friends were as dopey as they were supposed to be funny and charming. The dialogue delivered throughout could have been written by a horny, male teenager who wanted to impress his WWII-era teacher without studying language truly spoken in 1942. When everyone looks like they are acting in a school play with just beautiful scenery behind them... you get my drift.

The music, however, sets a gorgeous tone. I'd forgotten the theme piece plays throughout. It's beautiful melody weaves a spell over the audience to understand young love and all it's charm. The score most assuredly stands the test of time.

The movie's coming-of-age story is sweet, lovely, full of nostalgia... but not innocent. As other reviewers have stated on this site, this is statutory rape by the stunning female lead. We can't gloss over that fact, as beautiful as the scenery surely is. Sure, Dorothy is exceedingly sad and effervescent. Sure, Hermie has been chasing and dreaming about her since the film's opening shot. Sure, the island is one romantic location after another in a lost time we all reminisce about in our dreams... but she's still a pedophile in her actions. Every underage person has had a crush on an older person. It's unlawful for the older person to act on it. The story also had to only have been written by a male. If this would have been a female's perspective, having a 20-something widower taking advantage of a smitten 15yo girl would have a completely different reaction from the audience, no matter the era this movie was filmed.

The final line in the movie sums up how basic the storyline is: "In the Summer of '42,... Benji broke his watch, Oski gave up the harmonica, and in a very special way, I lost Hermie... forever." The entire movie just felt... basic. I wanted to love this movie again. I NEEDED to love it again. But some things can't catch their original magic once you open the bottle a second time.

I would only recommend this to people who want a sweet look at 1942 New England island life with a haunting melody playing you into a trance. It's very beautiful, serene and worth the trip into our past for that portion of the movie. If you're looking to reminisce about a great story from your childhood, you'll be disappointed. My recommendation: Buy the soundtrack - preferably with a cover featuring Jennifer O'Neill's lovely face. Sit in a quiet room near the ocean with the music playing in the background. And reminisce about lost time and your own lost loves for the soundtrack's entirety. You will be rewarded far more than watching this film. I'm sad this viewing robbed me of a beautiful memory in my youth. Sometimes, nostalgia is better left in the past, much like this movie should have been.
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Oxford Blues (1984)
7/10
Not a fabulous movie, but it casts a spell
2 February 2017
Yes, I know this is not a fantastic movie. My 7 out of 10 is more nostalgic than actual story-driven.

Rob Lowe acts like a bull in a china shop at all times in this story. The entire movie he moves from con artist to rowing prodigy to sexual dynamo to demigod status -- all while carrying the "ugly American" thing quite too far. And I'm American. Embarrassing would be a better word I think. Kinda sets a negative tone that stays the entire movie. Yet... I was spellbound by this movie in the theater in 1984 (saw it twice actually) and am still in love. :-) I'm sure it is due to the gorgeous cinematography and stunning on-location sequences at Cambridge. The rest of the cast (with the exception of Ally Sheedy, whom I've never gotten the hang of despite people oohing and awing over her) is simply perfectly British upper-crust snootiness with the right amount of classy condescension toward that crazy Yank. The movie just feels so British lovely - with an uber-caveman running amok. I love it. I can't watch it enough actually. It's one of my top guilty pleasures actually.

Don't get me wrong. Rob Lowe isn't a complete waste. His swagger and brashness is somewhat necessary, but he just comes across as TOO cool and TOO narcissistic as he barrels toward the inevitable bedding of our fair maiden, played by the heavenly Amanda Pays. Lowe just runs over wonderful characters at every turn to get everything HE desires at the expense of anyone/any institution standing in his way. BUT... with that aside, the movie is really enjoyable. It's like enjoying the magical "Peggy Sue Got Married" despite the awful presence of Nick Cage. Sometimes you've got to look past one major issue to get to the soft, lovable, special movie lurking beneath the ego of the lead.

I love this movie. I'll always love this movie. Watch it if you love Great Britain. Watch it if you love Cambridge. Watch it if you enjoy rowing. Watch it if you were (are?) still in love with Amanda Pays. And watch it for the simple chance to see Rob Lowe do one of the funnier "switcheroo" wardrobe changes set to music in the mirror during the end credits. Classic cheese that I would recommend for anyone looking for silly '80s goofiness!
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Up the Creek (1984)
9/10
Billed as "Animal House on the river" - stupid funny (and I LOVE it!!)
3 February 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Early-1980s T&A humor at it's best (or worst).

Okay, this is one of my guilty pleasures. This is definitely NOT deserving of my ranking of 9 out of 10 in the grand scheme of things. This is stupid, moronic, stereotypical, razor-thin plot,... basically every negative the actual movie critics use to crucify this movie is correct. The difference --- I LOVE IT!!! There are times in life where you just gotta throw out all the proper movie rules and just live vicariously through silly, dopey characters on-screen. The characters are funny, the settings are beautiful, the women are lovely, the dog is smarter than his masters... I could go on. There is no reasoning other than to say this movie always makes me feel good when I watch it. That's all I ask of this silliness.

The story of four college dimwits blackmailed into representing the worst university in the America in a collegiate raft race against Ivy Academy, the Military Institute, etc... Basically, tiny David against the bleach-blonde, well-funded and egotistical Goliaths of the early-1980s. The poster when it came out called this "Animal House on the river". They aren't far off. They even employed two "Animal House" alums - Tim Matheson and Stephen Furth (Otter and Flounder). It's a raunchy, silly comedy where the raft race takes the background to the drinking, partying, and girl-chasing so prevalent in this generation of college party movies.

I used to recommend this movie to college guys back in the late-80s/early-90s at the video store knowing they'd be drinking and laughing through the entire thing. This movie was designed for people who were not using their brain cells. It's just a fun movie with very little plot to follow. Grab your beer, sit back, and let loose. If you're watching this movie for any other reason than listed above, you'll be disappointed. VERY similar to "Strange Brew" and their awesome followers. It's a blast!!

I bought this movie a few years ago on DVD when I found out it was available. Thank goodness since I'd already worn out two VHS copies over the years. Now, it has JUST been released on BluRay. I'm waiting for my copy in the mail. I do understand there is a new retrospective on the BluRay with some of the cast and casting director. That alone is worth the price. If you love silly, stupid, early-80s T&A films with zero plot and just a fun ride, this is one of the best of that generation.

As a "real" movie, this can't rank more than a 3 or 4 (maybe a 5 simply because of the well-known cast). But as one of my favorite movies of all-time (no kidding!), I'd rank this a 9 out of 10. Now if Chuck the Dog SPOKE his lines instead of using charades, we'd be talking a 10 out of 10. I mean a line has to be drawn somewhere. :-)
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Let It Ride (1989)
8/10
Best horse-racing movie that isn't about the horse
21 January 2016
What a ride!!! :-)

This is one of my favorite "forgotten" comedies from the late-80s. It has a wonderful cast of character actors who perfectly back up the true star of the film, Richard Dreyfuss ("Trotter"), who pulls out all the stops in his comic repertoire to exhibit quality humor throughout this little film. This movie starts slow then builds up steam and doesn't let up until the exciting climax that mirrors the real-life feeling of betting on a horse race.

The story of a down-and-out "loser" who has just sworn off gambling, boozing, and is returning to his estranged wife on the exact day his life changes with a "tip" on a horse that literally changes his fortunes for the better. Dreyfuss infuses humor, desperation and good luck into a comic transformation from lovable sap to the luckiest man walking within the matter of nine horse races during the day.

The joy I get from watching this is all the interactions with the minor characters throughout the day. The "Looney" character is the perpetual failure as the best friend who can't catch a break, even though it kicks him square in the teeth. When Trotter wins on the sure-thing bet in the opening then asks Looney, who didn't bet the sure-thing, who he likes in the next race - then promptly scratches that horse off as a failure right in front of the guy... It makes me laugh out loud even though I've watched the movie over a dozen times. The rest of the interactions - from the dive bar across the street, standing trackside during the race, the betting window (with the hilarious Robbie Cochrane), or even at the upper-class Jockey Club - we are treated to a feast of quirky characters that not only keep the action moving, but creates new ways for Trotter to marvel at the luckiest day of his life.

This movie was forgotten because it's target audience was the exact people who bypass the movie theater and head straight for the racetrack. What a shame. This movie deserves a place in our comedy landscape for the charm, simplicity, and fun it creates along the way as Dreyfuss breathes life into a loser who realizes, while it's happening, what it feels like to hit a winning streak and enjoy the ride the entire time. This is a comedy classic. There's a reason it's so hard to find on DVD. Not because it was in limited release. It's because the people who own the out-of-print DVDs never want to part with them. This movie is a joy. Let it ride indeed!!!
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10/10
Intelligent, surreal comedy proving a play within a play can be done with class
15 January 2016
I watched this movie when it first came out in 1990 and thought it was fantastic. I had never seen anything so intelligent, slippery, surreal and downright enjoyable as this play within a play. I enjoyed the experience with every fiber of my being. The two leads were sheer perfection in their roles as Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (or is it Guildenstern & Rosencrantz?). The humor is dry. The pacing is slow. The sets are limited. The setting is in Shakespeare's mid-sixteenth century. Most of these details when combined do not a good feature film make. However, in this case, it is an amazing and mesmerizing triumph.

Tim Roth & Gary Oldman are energetic, confused, quizzical and supportive as the two title characters. Their chemistry is special. However, it is the twisted, genius screenplay by the writer/director, Tom Stoppard, that is the true star of this movie. Based on two very minor but pivotal characters in William Shakespeare's "Hamlet", Stoppard has pulled the curtain back to show what these two hapless characters are thinking when they realize all too late that their fates are not their own. Walking in circles without direction, talking in circles without ever having meaning, playing "word tennis" without rules yet realizing the rules are of their own choosing... It is inspired literature that translates into a beautiful story.

With an exemplary supporting cast of Medieval players led by American actor Richard Dreyfuss and a ridiculously talented group of actors as the "real" Hamlet characters, this story plays with the English language as though the audience is intelligent and following the leads to their inevitable end. This is the type of writing that all aspiring writers should study. To take Shakespeare's Old English and weave it throughout the narrative while the lead characters come in and out of the actual "Hamlet" play while explaining their predicament all the while. There is no cheap voice-over narration. The action/direction falls on screen with all it's beauty, all it's faults and all it's genius.

This movie should not be watched as a stand-alone story. If you have never read/seen "Hamlet" either in print or on stage, you will not understand all the ins-and-outs of the screenplay fabric. The story relies on the audience having already understood the direction of our anti-heroes. However, if you do understand "Hamlet", you will enjoy a fantastic story unfolding on the screen before your eyes. This is a beautiful movie that will keep you engrossed from beginning to end. I can't recommend it highly enough.
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7/10
Simple story with INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS physical comedy
12 January 2016
This was the last of Buster Keaton's "Big 3" movies - "College", "The General" and "Steamboat Bill, Jr." In my opinion, all three should be seen to be believed. There never has been, nor will ever be, another actor who did his own death-defying stunts that had such skill as an actor to carry an entire picture by himself. Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. was considered a legend of physical prowess. I'd match Buster up against him any day of the week. Jackie Chan is the closest thing we have today to doing his own death-defying stunt work. But even Jackie would never dream of pulling off the most dangerous work as Buster. To this day, people still marvel at the physicality of the tiny Keaton.

My order of preference for story-telling of these three is: General, College, and Steamboat Bill. My order of preference for death-defying feats is: Steamboat Bill, General and College in that order.

"Steamboat Bill, Jr." is not the most creative at story-telling. Basically it's plot device after plot device to move Buster to and from one dangerous stunt to the next more dangerous stunt. How he pulls this off with such ease is still a marvel. And the comedy from "Ol' Stoneface" is still funny today. The hat-switch scene where Buster and his father go through a series of hats while Buster looks right at the camera as though it is the mirror is comedy brilliance. In all of Buster's best comedies, he figures out how to maneuver huge objects through the funniest and most insanely difficult ways possible - trains in "The General", a crew boat in "College", and he maneuvers a really large steamboat with only an insanely simple yet complex set of ropes in "Steamboat Bill, Jr.". Just watch Buster shimmy down FIVE levels of the boat to basically shake hands, only to shimmy BACK UP those same five levels in mere seconds. It is astonishing the athleticism and creativity he could pull off in one single, UNEDITED scene shot with only one camera. Astounding.

The supporting cast is mainly there as foils for Buster's laughs. However, Marion Byron (a mere 16 at the time of filming) is wonderful as the dainty love interest in this Romeo & Juliet story between feuding river boats. It is decently acted by all involved but this is Buster's show and everyone knows it.

The ultimate payoff is in the dramatic and DANGEROUS hurricane that hits the tiny town in the finale. There is a reason that ONLY Buster is in all the scenes in the hurricane. Nobody else would be crazy enough to be caught dead in something like that simply for a movie. It's borderline suicidal actually. They blow up an ENTIRE town right in front of our eyes using six jet engines creating a wind storm so strong Buster could literally lean at a 45-degree angle into the wind and not fall. In several scenes, there is only one take because once the building explodes into a pile of kindling within inches of the real-life Buster they can't rebuild it. For him to keep a stoneface when the world is physically demolished right in front of him, and he keeps acting in the midst of all that chaos... My mind can't fathom that kind of bravery from a screen legend.

I can reasonably believe that by today's standards, the insurance companies would NEVER allow the stunts Buster Keaton pulled off in this story. Simply breathtaking isn't a strong enough word. DEATH-DEFYING is the only word that can be used for the now-legendary scene of a wall collapsing all around Buster, save for a lone open window that saves Buster from certain death. It is said that half the crew stayed away from the set that day simply because they couldn't watch Buster die in real-life from that wall in the event Buster was only a couple inches from his mark and the stunt went horribly wrong. He would have been crushed without a doubt. How many movies have ever done something as dangerous around their major star simply for a scene in a movie? I can say without equivocation - none. Watch and rewind that scene - I promise you won't believe what you see. The weight of that wall is not break-away kindling. It is a SOLID wall of bricks and mortar weighing at least a few thousand pounds. When it SLAMS into the ground around Buster, you see what damage would have been done to him had it hit him. But as you rewind the tape, watch Buster through the entire sequence in slow-motion. You will see that he NEVER FLINCHES!!! I read that he was having a really bad day in his personal life that day but this is unreasonably suicidal as a scene. It is legendary for a reason. There will never be anything like it again.

Buster made the impossible seem routine. He was just a little feather being brutally tossed all over that town from one dangerous stunt to another. If you can't see true genius in his timing and physical superiority, you are missing a once-in-a-century entertainer.

Buster Keaton was a national treasure. His "Big 3" movies need to be in the Smithsonian for many millennia. That way, in a thousand years when our society is viewed by that generation, I hope they view Buster's movies and see what the best of us looked like at one time. He is my favorite silent movie comedian, with Harold Lloyd a distant second and Charlie Chaplin third. But nobody touched Buster. He's my hero.

As a movie, the story is maybe a 5 for it's simplicity. As a study of physical comedy and dangerous stunts, this is a 50 out of 10. Thank you, Buster. You are missed.
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Tootsie (1982)
10/10
Simply the best cross-dressing movie of all-time.
11 January 2016
With no disrespect for the classic, "Some Like It Hot", I love "Tootsie" even more. While "Some Like It Hot" was designed for laughs and had Billy Wilder at the helm of a fantastic movie, "Tootsie" was a comedy set in real-life situations without the intention of getting a cheap laugh at anyone's expense. It's still marvelous these many decades later.

In today's movies, cross-dressing has become a punch line. It has become so time-worn that if the character isn't flaming gay, people don't "get" the character. That's why this movie has been all but forgotten for the ground-breaking skill and imagination it took for a very straight Dustin Hoffman to inhabit the body and female persona of "Dorothy Michaels". The desperation he portrayed on screen is as real as it gets for out-of-work actors in that profession. He was willing to do ANYTHING for a role. He knocked it out of the park.

For those of you too young to have seen the periodicals of the day, Hoffman was borderline nominated for an Academy Award in BOTH the Best Actor AND Best Actress category. He was simply that special. Some people believed voters were confused as to whether to vote him in as Best Actor or write him in as Best Actress. He was that compelling. The fact he lost to Ben Kingsley for "Gandhi" and was nominated with the likes of Jack Lemmon, Paul Newman, & Peter O'Toole tells you just how competitive a field with which he was competing.

This movie is special not because of how funny it is. It is special because while they were making this cross-gender story, the entire cast and crew treated the subject matter with grace, class and seriousness. Director Sidney Pollack makes a point in his retrospective on the DVD of how there wasn't a single laugh on the entire set during the shooting. The only laughs they heard where once the movie was screened for a live audience.

Dustin Hoffman plays both characters of Michael Dorsey and Dorothy Michaels with such passion, energy and honesty, you would never know it wasn't the real Hoffman out there on screen. In reading about this movie, I understood Hoffman even started relating to women more on an honestly level than superficially as he had done his entire life up to the making of this movie. When you have an actor who tells us that before the movie was made, he wouldn't have spoken to the woman/character he portrayed simply because he/she wasn't pretty enough and that he regretted not speaking to other non-attractive women who were interesting people... It tells you this character touched his soul. Plus you have one of the most accomplished supporting casts in recent history. Teri Garr (Oscar-nominated for this role), Jessica Lange (Oscar-winner for this role), Bill Murray, Dabney Coleman, Charles Durning, George Gaynes, Geena Davis (her first role), Estelle Getty (in cameo before she was famous), Sidney Pollack as the agent... Simply "WOW!!!" casting. The payoff at the end of the movie with each and every character getting their own reaction on film is a revelation in movie direction. Pollack deserved more than just a nomination for this masterwork.

There's nothing about the movie that isn't stated in the reviews on this site. The clothes, hairstyles and music may be a bit dated now since it's original 1982 date. However, the concept and the frustrations/humor/flawless execution are as pertinent today as they ever were. If you haven't watched it, please do. You won't be sorry. And if you are like me and have watched it more times than you can count, please stand with me for my standing ovation for a true classic movie. This one is near-perfection. Easily 10 out of 10.
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18 Again! (1988)
7/10
This is better than the IMDb rating - plus GEORGE BURNS stars!
11 January 2016
This is a fun comedy. It hits all the right notes for a very tired "soul-switching" genre that tended to dominate in the late-80s/early-90s. The difference is "18 Again" is the best of that genre hands-down. "Big" is a better movie, but that isn't soul-switching as much as a "child/grownup" genre. Match "18 Again" against other soul-switchers like "Dream A Little Dream", "Vice Versa", "Freaky Friday", or the horrific "Like Father, Like Son" from the same era - and you'll see a story with a heart unlike the others. In modern terms, this movie is closest to "17 Again" - although again, that isn't soul-switching as much as "child/grownup". However, I would take "18 Again" over "17 Again" simply for two reasons: Charlie Schlatter's uncanny physical mimicking - and the comedy talents of George Burns.

Charlie Schlatter is absolutely PERFECT as both David/Jack. His lovable-but-worthless "deer in the headlights" college freshman vs. that of his world-wise, confident grandfather, played by the irrepressible George Burns. The story twists with young David going through a series of let-downs that only a college freshman could experience with all the put-downs and disappointments we could expect. Enter his amazingly spontaneous and funny grandfather, Jack. Once Jack's soul enters David, we see all the confidence David needed to solve so many of his difficult situations.

The supporting cast is fine, if not a bit caricatured. However, watching Burns "inhabit" Schlatter's 18-year-old body is a joy. Schlatter should be teaching young actors/actresses on how to mimic body movements. He is simply that mesmerizing once Jack is "inside" him. It's a hoot. The part where "young" Jack tells his best friend, Charlie (Red Buttons) who he really is... It's a gem of a scene. Two legendary comedians using the body of a very capable young actor to convey joy and happiness from a bygone era... Loved it.

This is not a classic college comedy like "Animal House", "Revenge of the Nerds" or anything like that. But as a feel-good, happy little story that is well worth watching simply to watch George Burns at his best as the old gent with a wicked wit, this is a good one.
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7/10
Adorable movie with all four leads playing against character
9 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
All you need to know to watch this movie are the names of the four leads - Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman, William H Macy, and Marcia Gay Harden. Oscar winners playing against type in a comedy/caper where you feel good throughout the entire movie. This story's light fun with three bumbling, lovable security guards/would-be thieves who may/may not pull off the heist of the century - if they can ever stay out of each other's way!

In this movie, Walken's a beaten down security guard nearing retirement with an overbearing but doting "battleship" of a wife in Marcia Gay Harden (wow, she is amazing in this role!!). Walken has been working the same job at a museum guarding the same wing for 30 years. In that wing is a painting, "The Lonely Maiden", in whom Walken has fallen in love. Not in a "Somewhere in Time" kinda time-travel piece, but just passionate about this lovely piece of impressionist art. She's the only reason he basically has left to live since his life has hit an endless loop of the same-ol'-same-ol'. Even his wife's incessant saving for a vacation trip to Florida isn't exciting for the poor guy. When he finds out the entire wing of the museum has been sold and is moving to Sweden, he doesn't know what to do. In his grief, he comes across two other long-time security guards (Freeman & Macy) who are head-over-heels in love with OTHER pieces in the gallery. In short order, they conceive an ill-conceived plan of stealing the original pieces and replacing them with fakes prior to leaving the country. What they realize, however, is each guard's unique "gifts" may do more damage than good once they start the heist.

This is not "Rififi" with it's professional thieves performing a well-choreographed, ultra-stealth heist to end all heists. This is as "fish out of water" as it gets. It's also what makes this such a special, satirical, light movie. These are kind, gentle souls who are having the loves of their life being ripped out from under them through no fault of their own. They just feel... well, robbed by the very museum they have protected for decades. They don't intend to hurt anyone. They just can't see past their obsession for the art. You cheer for these guys.

Let me say, without giving up the ending, that the ending made my wife fall in love with this movie. It's not a "chick flick" movie, but it is for those who aren't into explosions and foul language. It's light-fare with fun, silly characters played by master actors.

I rate this a 7 out of 10 because it really isn't a mainstream movie and can't compete on that level. But it deserved better than the straight-to-DVD path it ended on. It is worth watching for a night of light entertainment. A fun film. :-)
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Foxcatcher (2014)
5/10
A true wrestling story that deserved to be told... Better than this.
8 December 2015
I was genuinely hoping for a special movie since all the awards shows and ratings raved about this movie. Plus the fact real wrestlers deserve something better than "Vision Quest" to portray what real wrestling looks like. What a missed opportunity.

This is Olympic-quality wrestling, not the WWF and that fake garbage. True wrestling. The sport ancient Olympians in Greece spent their entire lives trying to perfect with their bodies. Wrestling is one of the most graceful, powerful, challenging sports in the world. Anyone who ever participated in this sport will attest to the mental and physical toughness required. It also isn't for everyone as it can be slow, uneven and boring to someone who has never suffered through drastic weight loss, brutal practice sessions in 100+ degree gymnasiums, psychological games by coaches and competitors alike, as well as the (sometimes) inhumane practice facilities with which the sport associates.

The real-life story is horrible. du Pont was a nutcase with too much money and the Schultz' were probably a little too desperate/trusting for their own good. But this movie is simply not good. The cinematography is gorgeous and the actors definitely go against their normal stereotypes. However, I believe the subjects deserved a more honest treatment and are not nearly as lummox-like as portrayed. Both wrestlers were beasts (in a good way) and two of the most powerful, beautiful, graceful wrestlers who ever wore a United States wrestling singlet. They were GREAT. I wish I could say the same thing about this movie. It is average at best.

I met Mark Schultz decades ago after his 1984 gold medal and before the events of this movie transpired. Mark was kind, supportive and intelligent in real-life. I can say without equivocation that the Channing Tatum "lummox/Neanderthal" portrayed in the movie is not close to the talented, good man in real life. Mark Schultz deserved better. I never met John du Pont or Dave Schultz but can assume they were caricatures as well.

It pains me to say this as an ex-wrestler, but this movie BORED me. You have two of the most fascinating American wrestlers in history but you barely see them in their glory. It felt like watching two overweight super-heavyweights in the middle of a stalling match where the referee waits and waits and waits for someone to make a move... that never shows up until the VERY end, after the audience is already done watching and doesn't care anymore.

From a wrestler's standpoint, I'd say the original true story was worthy of a trip to the Olympics in the Greco-Roman style but not worthy of making the medal round. The story probably deserved to be told but as a documentary, not mainstream. This movie is more like a high school single-A state champion who stalls too much and, when up against better competition from worthy champions (better movies), this movie isn't good enough to make a college team, let alone make it to the Olympics. 5 out of 10 is the best I could give it and that's only because I like the Schultz boys and what they brought to a great sport. The movie really isn't worth your time. Pleeeeeez make a better wrestling movie, Hollywood. Still waiting for something to beat "Vision Quest" as a decent wrestling movie. Probably just wishful thinking...
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Stealing Home (1988)
8/10
This is better than the IMDb rating
25 November 2015
Watch this movie. Please forget the critics and their ratings. They are just plain wrong on this gem of a picture. A "Rotten Tomatometer" rating of 30% by the critics but a 78% by the viewing public??? That should tell you all you need to know.

Imagine yourself being transported back to an innocent time in your life where everything was peaceful, uncomplicated and joyous. The best and most interesting summer of your life. That's what this movie portrays through flashbacks, flash-forwards and honest feelings portrayed by a very talented cast of actors and filmmakers.

"Stealing Home" is one of those movies that should have a bigger following than it does. It's been almost forgotten as a movie, which is a shame. This may be more "chick flick" than male-oriented and although has baseball as it's core, plot and relationships are at the center of the story, not sports. As a male, this is still one of my favorite movies. The story is touching, beautiful, emotional, and nostalgic while still showing frailty of life. Losing a loved one has a universal impact on those left behind.

Mark Harmon and Jodie Foster head a fabulous cast of actors in this movie. Shown mostly in flashback in Billy's final innocent summer spent with his parents and his babysitter-of-all-babysitters, Katie (Foster) before heading off to play minor league baseball in the Phillies' organization, life couldn't be more idyllic on the lovely beaches of the Jersey shoreline.

The movie opens where washed-up adult Billy (Harmon in current day 1987), while lost in a mid-life crisis and out of baseball altogether, is given a call to come back home to rural New Jersey and look after the ashes of his childhood babysitter, Katie, who committed suicide at the family's beach house. The story progresses in flashback of Billy recalling all the fantastic, gorgeous, funny and tragic adventures of Billy's and Katie's relationships and moments leading to where Billy is now. Flipping from current day back to the late-'60s is flawless and never throws the viewer as Billy searches for what is the "right" thing to do with Katie's beloved ashes. You meet Katie and how mature, yet oh so mischievous, she was and how teenage Billy (William McNamara) could come to fall in love with someone who treated him as the most incredible little brother she'd never had. You meet Billy's perfectly loving parents (Blair Brown and the underrated John Shea) and how much joy and unwavering support they meant to Billy while growing up. Add Jonathan Silverman as Billy's ever-horny best friend, Alan Appleby, as the comic relief and ever-underachieving wingman and you have the making of a special movie. As Billy realizes how closely his life is tied not just to baseball, but to the lives of his tight-knit family and his best friends, it reveals a complex web of love, sacrifice, and truth Billy comes to understand was meant to make him a better human being, not just a ballplayer.

This movie is stunning. From the photography, the acting, the screenplay, and the excellent soundtrack. It is both funny and tragic and everything in between. It feels like a faint summer breeze blowing on you as you sit quietly on a beach chair at the ocean at your family's summer cottage. The kind of wisp of air that leaves a mark on you that you can't touch but you know it will always be with you wherever you go. It's beautiful.

If you love the actors, you'll love this movie. If you've ever lost a loved one and forgot how special those times were with that loved one before it all became too complicated, this is the movie for you. It will make you think. It will make you feel. And you will remember how much love there is in this world. All you need is a push sometimes to realize how much. It is a movie about seasons of life and how precious they are and always will be. Give this movie a chance. You may find it special also.
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10/10
Christmas traditions of Santa, snow, presents and "A Christmas Story"
25 November 2015
"A Christmas Story" is perfection at Christmastime. The nostalgic feel of early-1940s Americana at the year's most magical time could not have been more appropriately filmed by Bob Clark ("Porky's). This excellent comedy proves how through the eyes of a 10-year-old child, hopes and dreams for the ultimate Christmas present can overcome neighborhood bullies, homework and even "The Old Man".

I have watched this movie at least 30 times. Not just at Christmas but year-'round. It's just that perfect. Although I wasn't around, I would almost guarantee this is what my own father lived like during the time portrayed in this excellent movie. It makes me wish for a time machine to go back to this more innocent and simpler way of life.

There is nothing I could add to what the other IMDb reviewers are saying on this site. Although the "8" score that this universally is receiving is still too low. Watch it every Christmas as a family tradition with hot chocolate, a roaring fire, snuggly blankets and sitting next to your Christmas tree. You will feel the warmth of family and laughter. This is an American treasure.
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7/10
The original story is better, but the music in #2 is the BEST!!
24 November 2015
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm an Eddie and the Cruisers fan. I loved the first movie, although I thought the story was a little dry. But the ending always made me want to know what happened to Eddie Wilson in the early-'60s since we all knew he didn't necessarily end his life at the end of that bridge.

Enter "Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!" taking place roughly 25 years after the original time frame. Again, I'll admit... this is a guilty pleasure of mine. This may not be "Gone With The Wind", but it makes me smile each and every time I put on this corny movie. The supporting acting is so-so. The story is fairly by-the-numbers. As a sequel, it ties up most of the loose ends from the original. The lead actor and his love interest let's say aren't necessarily of the Academy Award caliber although they try. But the plot isn't necessarily why we watch this movie and the director knew this. The music and what ultimately happened to Eddie is all this story aspires to. And the music is in one word... W-O-W!!!

It's sad to note John Cafferty - the REAL voice of Eddie Wilson - has since passed away. I once watched him open for "Journey" decades ago. His perfectly soulful singing voice was unique and hits my heart just right. Having Michael Pare lip-syncing to those amazing tunes always puts a smile on my face, no matter the day.

Now if you're expecting some blockbuster movie, this isn't the one for you. This is a movie by what looks to be a group of people who simply wanted to give a proper send-off to a movie mystery that the audience wanted to see. It isn't grand. It isn't intellectual. It may not even be all that good. But it's fitting - and the music is special.

I'm thankful to watch this every few years. Some of the music is on my iPod and I listen to it often. As a movie, this is at most a 5 simply because it ties up the loose ends of the original and watching a movie hero create a band is creative and enjoyable. But the music... a solid 10 as far as I'm concerned. :-) RIP John Cafferty. You are missed.
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Brainstorm (1983)
6/10
Concept = 10/10; Acting = 5/10
24 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I loved this movie when it came out in 1983. It was original, cutting-edge, provocative. Imagine the unlimited possibilities of not only seeing but FEELING the same emotions and thoughts of someone for all to see for all-time... Not only watching a Bon Jovi concert, but actually BEING Jon Bon Jovi at that concert! What about the rush of adrenaline and terror of an astronaut at the moment of liftoff - and their first spacewalk? How about standing at the plate with bases loaded, full count in the ninth inning of the seventh game of the World Series??... Makes your mouth water, doesn't it?

The concept of this story was excellent. The genesis of recording personal thoughts and impulses onto transferable media for download at your leisure was fresh. Christopher Walken cast as Michael and Louise Fletcher as Lillian were excellent together. The special effects are dazzling and thought-provoking. On BluRay, the screen switches between full-frame for the story and widescreen for the "virtual reality" sections. It's really marvelous to watch actually. But that's where the awesomeness ends...

It was the rest of the cast that absolutely killed whatever positive momentum this story had going for it. The wooden acting, cut-and-pasted story lines and timelines, the military ALWAYS getting into the act and becoming the bad guys... It lost all it's charm after the first 30 minutes.

Natalie Wood, although a fine actress from another era, was completely wasted in her last role. I know this movie was threatened to not be completed when she died suddenly in the middle of production. While sad, the movie was bigger than her small but pivotal role. She just sat there and watched Walken and Fletcher do all the heavy lifting. She smiled pretty and cried pretty and made the halo pretty and... That's it. She just... existed in the movie. I have to believe had she survived, this movie would have been soooo much better.

How Cliff Robertson kept getting the same roles where he played the rich, good-looking good guy-who-becomes-the-bad guy over and over again is beyond me. His character's arc could be seen the moment he said "trust me". Sure. He's done the same slick and sinister character since "3 Days of the Condor" and it never got any better. It just got old. Using ANYBODY else would have at least given us a sense of suspense. In this case, it was more like "here we go again...". And when the military showed up halfway through and basically created a covert "Brainstorm" project while locking out the original creators of the project in the first place... Maybe those things happen in real-life but they're clichéd to death in sooooo many movies. This one just looked inept by the end. Hint to "future military takeover bad guys in movies": Make sure to remove all the backdoors of the good guys BEFORE you take over the world. They can come back to bite you.

And whomever cast the slimy Andy Warhol-lookalike as the sneaky traitor to the project should be positively fired on the spot. If the character is unbelievable the moment he shows up on screen, there's no way another SMART (i.e. Louise Fletcher) character would ever trust the guy. Someone with no talent should never, ever translate into MORE screen time. He was supposed to be some kind of genius that robbed people of their creations? The guy couldn't even quote his lines properly let alone be crafty enough to steal someone's life's work. The moment that guy showed up, the movie ended being interesting and became just another "screw 'em so they can fight back" movie. And the son was literally not needed at all. He was talentless AND took away from the story. How do people get roles in Hollywood anyway? Sorry, I'm not normally THIS harsh on actors since I can't act either but when I CAN act better than they do then they literally killed a great story.

Christopher Walken was great in his role, although he was left to stare at the camera while in his halo for far too many minutes of the film. And Louise Fletcher was positively excellent as the most interesting character - and then she dies to further the storyline. It was perfect for the story. But it was still a shame to kill off your best character.

So besides those two leads being good, and an EXCELLENT concept, this movie drags everywhere. Don't let the polyester suits fool you. This movie, although dated, was cutting edge in it's time. Unfortunately, it has aged badly - just like the polyester. And the acting positively killed what could have been a truly enjoyable tale of "what could have been". Instead, we're left with wasted opportunity.

For the concept, this is easily a 10. I truly, genuinely wish they would remake this story today with a capable cast of actors. But because of the horrible acting - with the exception of Walken and Fletcher - this is a 5. I'd rate this a 6 overall compared to other movies. Sad. This could have been one of the great ones.
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Pastime (1990)
10/10
Low-budget movie with high-budget morality
19 November 2015
I've been trying to find this incredibly soulful movie on VHS or DVD for two decades. It left that big an impression on me when I was younger. I finally found a copy at Goodwill of all places. It wasn't at a Best Buy in the blockbuster sales category but bought second-hand in a forgotten corner of the store. Fitting for this story.

This is one of those sports movies that will stay with you long after you finish watching. It is a fabulous baseball tale of a rising young star pitcher who nobody sees coming who crosses paths with the faded star of a "never-was" pitcher in his twilight season. The low-budget quality of this movie is evident from the start. It feels like a made-for-TV venture. But the strange thing about the muddled lensing and cheap feel only adds to the flavor of this bottom-feeder squad of minor league losers in 1950s Midwest America. You feel the desperation of hanging on to a baseball dream in a dead-end town where young players are beginning their careers and older players are watching theirs fading away into oblivion. Records are set by Hall-of-Famers revered by millions. But this is the story of a bunch of bushers. As far from the major leagues as you can get. Primarily, it's a story about a regular guy whose career boils down to just being a misspelled name in a major league box score from decades ago. Yet he still dreams of making it back to The Show someday. It's a universal feeling of hope and humility.

Roy Dean Bream is a broken down 41yo pitcher who many years ago pitched to Stan Musial in the majors as his "one-and-done" special baseball moment. He never saw the majors again but it never dampened the fire inside his ever-hopeful persona. He's fighting Old Man Time and is losing the battle, no matter how hard he tries. The financially-sinking owner of the ball club wants his wise, Roy Dean-supporting manager to cut the "dead wood" to ease the financial burden. And the young spit-'n-vinegar ballplayers make fun of Roy Dean at every opportunity to show who really belongs in baseball and who really doesn't. The writing's on the wall...

Enter Tyrone Debray, a 17yo phenom who has the gas of a major leaguer but has little to no experience in pro baseball. And being black in the 1950s Southern US was none too easy for this soft-spoken, shy, homesick kid with no friends and bigotry still alive and well in his own locker room. Roy Dean, however, doesn't see competition from this young rookie. He sees the potential for this special kid. With the right stuff, Tyrone could be one of the great ones. When Roy Dean takes Tyrone under his wing and teaches him not only how to be a better human, but also his secret pitch, you can see a mutual respect and friendship between these two competitors who always say, "us pitchers always gotta stick together". It's true sportsmanship and the kind of teammate we could always wish we had when we were young and impressionable, and also the kind of teammate we wished we were when we'd learned some tricks that we could no longer use but knew a youngster coming up could get further with good mentoring.

We've all had those Roy Dean guys on our sports teams growing up. The guy who was never really good enough but always, ALWAYS had a smile on his face and gave you everything he had, even when his best was beneath everyone else's worst. Roy Dean isn't concerned with everyone on his team liking him or even laughing at him to his face. He just keeps trying. He's that rare bright spot, even when he never plays. He may be fooling himself into believing he's better than he is, but he'll never let you know he's hurting inside.

This movie's too slow for the Marvel superhero audience. It's too simple for the complex thinkers who need a mystery to solve. It's too genteel for the sex, drugs and rock-and-roll audience. It's just a beautiful, gentle, moving PG-rated story about a never-was who passes on wisdom, kindness and respect to someone of a different class, color, and background simply because it's the right thing to do.

"Pastime" had nearly zero budget, no marketing, and just a heart for the game that only the true baller would understand. Crash Davis was talented and his retirement ended in uplifting style in the classic "Bull Durham". That was a comedy, it's funny and remains a popular movie. "Pastime" is different. It is a baseball tragedy which some people don't like and probably explains why it's forgotten when mentioning the best baseball movies of all-time. Such a shame. This story conveys the sadness and emotional turmoil of watching your playing days end because someone else doesn't think you "have it" anymore when all you wanna do is play. It's cruel, subjective and powerful. It's also inevitable.

Roy Dean's private moment of pitching only for himself is what this movie aspires to. For love of the game. No crowds. No media. It isn't flashy. It isn't proud. It's just... perfect. If the end doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you couldn't have felt how passionately some athletes feel about their sports. Once your playing days are over, it's like amputating a part of your heart.

As a standard movie, this is a 7 out of 10. As a movie I would recommend to every ballplayer and coach in America to watch and learn from, this is an 11 out of 10. One of my favorite sports movies of all time and I love so many. Pass this onto an aspiring athlete - baseball players especially. I hope they feel it in their soul as much as I have. This one is a keeper.
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9/10
THIS is what a horror satire is supposed to look like!!
5 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I miss the classic horror movies of the late-'70s and early-'80s. Going to the movies with a group of friends to be scared was fun back then.

Today, the "Horror" genre means "gross out the audience through any extreme means and depravity possible". The "SAW" franchise and garbage like it is lost on me. I won't watch "snuff" films for the sake of "art" - similar to the old "Faces of Death" which was banned internationally. No wonder Columbine and so many scary real life events are happening. People are force-fed vile, classless, merciless carnage in theaters dressed as a "movie" when it is nothing close to art. If it's got a "script", it's acceptable because it's Unrated. What happened to our movie standards? Whatever happened to fairly tongue-in-cheek villains like Freddy, Jason and Michael Moore-type slashers of the not-so-long-ago?

Back in the early-1980s, we used to have teen movie nights with slasher films like "Carrie", "Friday the 13th", "Nightmare on Elm Street", etc. Old, scratchy VHS tapes on a boob tube with popcorn and soda with a mixed group of teenagers who laughed and jumped at "the killer who couldn't die" and the stories that were told - not just to slaughter but to entertain and scare the audience. It was nearly a religious right of passage to watch those movies en-masse. Those days are long gone I am afraid... Or are they?

"The Final Girls" is everything a horror film from the '80s was supposed to be - gory, funny, sexy, campy, killer who can't die... with some very modern twists. Imagine my surprise when this FABULOUS throwback movie appeared and almost made my stand up and cheer!! The casting was spot-on with newcomers who simply stole scene after scene from one another in the best way possible. You fall in love with the cast and actually care whether they meet their untimely demise or not as the movie progresses.

Synopsis: Max is a 15yo girl who lost her actress mother (Malin Ackerman) in a freak car accident three years ago. Flash-forward to today and Max still hasn't gotten over the tragic loss. On the anniversary of mom's death, there is a movie marathon showing her mom's most famous role - the iconic 1980s slasher flick, "Camp Bloodbath". So Max and several friends go to the movie with some reluctance but to honor her mom's memory. During the festival, a fire starts and instead of fleeing into the stampede, Max and her friends are somehow transported INTO THE MOVIE! Once they realize what's going on, they must figure out how to save the fictional characters (including Max's mother!) AND THEMSELVES and survive the bloody rampage of Billy the crazed killer!

This is the movie "The Last Action Hero" wanted to be but wasn't with the protagonist being sucked into the movie and helping the characters along in the story. The best part of this movie - and there are many GREAT parts to this movie!!!! - is the writing. The writer and director truly cared about putting a quality movie together. This isn't a movie done for the dollar. It is a genuine ode to '80s slasher flicks. The humor, twists, and modern language blended so well into an entire story where real and fictional people work together to save one another in funny, tragic, heartbreaking fashion. It's magical. But my favorite part of the film is the dynamic between Max and her fictional yet oh-so-real mother. It isn't just a "save her at all costs"-type thing. The delicate balance of future Max and fictional "Nancy" is extremely well written. You feel the chemistry of both actresses. Plus add in all the comedy and scary moments... This movie was just plain F-U-N!!!! To quote an '80s term - it was "most excellent".

The entire cast is a joy to watch. My 17yo son and I laughed at joke after joke - both 80s and current day. You could tell the actors had a blast on the set and their chemistry was evident on-screen in every single frame. The deaths were graphic enough, funny and surprising. It fit so perfectly together. Even the end is self-aware and hilarious. And please stay for the closing credits. You will be rewarded with even more laughs! :-)

This past weekend, my son invited thirteen high school buddies of both sexes over for just such a movie fest - a good test group with different backgrounds. Nobody had heard of "The Final Girls" and most wanted different scary movies. My son held firm - and after the movie ended - every kid who was complaining at the beginning told him he was right. They LOVED it!!!

I give this my highest recommendation for any late-high school movie night for older teenagers who will appreciate the humor and is the targeted age group (re: age 17+). A perfect mix would be the original "Friday the 13th" (R-rated) and maybe throw in the original "Nightmare on Elm Street" with a teenage Johnny Depp (talk about "camp"!!) and "The Final Girls" (PG-13-rated) in that order. They would get the gist and gore of the original 80s feel of movies. Then the funnier, more updated "Final" movie. It would be a perfect evening to cleanse the horror pallet.

On a standard movie rating against all movies of any genre, I give it an 8 of 10. It is well worth watching. From a pure camp and comedy satire of old horror movies they don't make anymore, I give it a 10 out of 10. This is a MUST WATCH for anyone who loved Jason/Freddy/Michael movies from years gone by. Grab some popcorn, invite some friends over and enjoy the show!!!!! :-)
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