Reviews

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I only actually caught the last 20 minutes of this film, at about quarter to one this morning. Apparently it was about a stolen painting, a long-haired GI (Brosnan), some woman, and Murdock from the A-Team.

One of the best scenes in the film was when Brosnan's character tried to throw a bomb through a window. However, the window didn't smash and it bounced right back at him. This could have been unintentional and they kept it in, or it was meant to happen. Either way, it just added to the overall low budget, tacky fee of the movie.

So if you fancy a B-movie warm up to Brosnan's first outing as James Bond, rent it. If you fancy a good movie then stay well clear.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Where to start? OK, 'Batman Forever'was a great disappointment but the entire saga could still have been saved. But no. Goldsman (writer) made sure that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. The marketing department made a mistake with the film's tag-line. It read:'Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty. On June 20, it ALL comes together...' when it should have said: Bad acting. Weak script that relies on puns. Suits with nipples. And Batcreditcards. On June 20, it ALL falls apart...' However, Batman never leaving home without it should have been the least of his worries. When Michael Keaton went to see this film he must have left the cinema in tears. The movie caries on from 'Batman Forever', where Batman now has his sidekick Robin. The movie also introduces Batgirl, played by Alicia Silverstone, towards the end of the movie. In an interview about the film, Clooney said that he had wanted to show that Bruce Wayne was moving on from his parents' deaths, thinking fondly of their lives rather than remembering how they died. What a load of crap. Mr and Mrs Wayne's deaths are Batman's motivation for fighting crime in the first place. Without this he's just an idiot in a rubber outfit, sometimes called 'George Clooney'. Chris O'Donnell gives a mediocre performance as Robin, not really bringing anything to the character. We get no sense of history, none of the dark brooding mystery that surrounded Keaton's Bruce Wayne. Ever faithful to the Batman films is Michael Gough, playing Wayne's butler Alfred. But even he gets dragged into the puns; 'I'll cancel the pizza, sir' he says as Batman goes zooming off in the worst Batmobile to date. Even the cartoon version was better than that one. Arnie was there as well, though there really isn't much to comment on to be honest. He was just Arnold Schwarzenegger, doing what Arnold Schwarzenegger does. The only decent major part in the entire film came from Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. Admittedly she gave her villain style and a slight sense of insanity, however nobody could match Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman. So, after unsuccessfully demanding my money back from the cinema cashier, I knew that Batman could not have any more sequels, especially if the current Robin and Batgirl were to be present. It's shame. Thank god for 'Begins'...

After George Clooney stabbed Batman in the heart and watched him die, Christian Bale breathed life back into the suit and once more created the 'Dark Knight', something which hadn't been achieved since the glory days of Michael Keaton and Tim Burton. As is the seeming trend at the moment, 'Begins' is a prequel to the 1989 'Batman'. However, the keen observer may notice a few adjustments/errors in the storyline.The first being that 'Batman Begins' actually follows the comic book storyline regarding Bruce's parents. In the original story, Joe Chill murdered the Waynes, whilst Tim Burton changed this so that it was Jack Napier (who later on became The Joker) who shot them both, thus creating a relationship between Batman and The Joker. 'I made you you made me, how childish!'- The Joker Also, what's with Sergeant Gordon (who I am assuming later makes it to Commissioner)meeting Batman and being on his side? It was only at the very end of 'Batman' that he finally realised Batman was a crime fighter, not a criminal. At the end of the film, the next villain is introduced; 'He leaves a calling card', which was a joker from a pack of cards. Now then, all credit to the writers for trying to create a definite link to the 'next' movie, but at the beginning of 'Batman' The Joker is not a super villain, nor is he even The Joker. He is Jack Napier, a gang member working for a gangland boss, 'Grissom'. It is only when Grissom sets Jack up, Batman tries to save him but drops him in a vat of chemicals, and his plastic surgery goes horribly wrong (using the tools from 'Little shop of Horrors) that he finally snaps and takes over the mafia gang as the new super villain, The Joker. This last point persuaded me that it was meant as a definite prequel to the 1989 work of genius and therefore I am hoping that the errors were, for some reason, intentional. The thing that makes Batman the greatest superhero ever is the fact that he has no actual super powers and one great bit of story-writing is actually explaining where Batman gets 'those wonderful toys' which enable him to fight crime the way he does, without having been bitten by a spider or sent to Earth because his planet is about to explode. Having been designed for the US Army, the suit, car and weapons were far too expensive to mass-produce and so the entire operation was dropped. The suit was bullet/knife-proof Kevlar body armour, which Bruce personalised and turned into the Batsuit. Batman also never uses a gun, preferring such elements as hand-to-hand combat, 'Baterangs' and gas powered mobile zip-lines. Again, the film shows that all of these were created with the intention of being used in urban warfare, making them fit perfectly into Batman's arsenal. The new Batmobile is a fantastically fresh look at Batman's famous run-around. As one police officer states, 'It's a black...tank.'The Batmobile was actually MADE. The car did everything in real life that it does in the film. It drives, it jumps, it weighs two tons and it will be on Ebay within a week. Having said that, I still personally prefer the sleek stealthy Batmobile circa Michael Keaton, 1989-1992. For someone who has trained as a ninja in the art of stealth, a huge tank with lights everywhere that charges through the streets destroying everything in it's path is not the best mode of transport. But I suppose Mr Wayne had to make do with what he had. Finally, congratulations are in order for Christian Bale, the man wisely chosen by Christopher Nolan to play Batman. Despite the almost cheesy gruff voice, Bale brings a sense of foreboding, and rebuilds the Dark Knight after being left behind in the trail of camp destruction that was George Clooney. In all a great film, but still not beating the majesty that was 'Batman'.

Although the world is still reeling from the 1960's day-time Batman, Tim Burton did us proud by bringing Batman back to what he should be; a dark avenger with a kick-ass car. Everything in this movie was right: Keaton made a superb Batman, and Nicholson the best villain, although he is closely followed by Danny Devito in "Batman Returns". A name like "Gotham City" cried out for a director like Tim Burton, and the entire set-up suits Batman perfectly. Whoever designed the Batmobile for this movie was working on a stroke of pure genius. Easily the best Batmobile ever, the car suited the driver and the whole thing worked out, and was so good in fact that they didn't destroy the car and even kept it for the second movie. The suit was also the best to date, again you can tell this by the fact that it was used again in "Batman Returns" and for most of "Batman Forever". At least the third film got one thing right.