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2/10
Terrible
4 February 2024
This film starts of with a terrible song that is just totally out of place for a horror film running through the titles . This is not a spoiler but a man is cheating on his wife and ends out getting dropped off by a taxi in the wrong part of town and it ia pouring with rain He shelters in a doorway but is soon let in by a man who makes him coffee and reveals he job And proceeds to tell the man 4 terrible stories that have no twist , no horror at all.

The acting , sets , effects ,music and story are awful Nothing in this film makes any sence , it must of cozt around £100 to make I love 70s and anthology horror but this is just plain terrible.

The sleeve art work is good.
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Visions (II) (2015)
5/10
quite good
11 December 2022
A woman who was involed in a car accident and suffers from stress and nightmares changes her life style and moves out of the city.

She buys a vinyard with her husband and things start looking up for her she becomes pregnent but then she finds out that the area is full of drug dealers and she starts becoming suspicious of her neighbours.

Pretty soon creepy things start to happen and she starts seeing things A hooded figure is lurking around her house and stuff is moving and being smashed .

A Paranormal horror so not much gore and no nudity , the acting is good with a good cast and the soundtrack is ok

This film is a bit slow burner but it is a quite good film a worth a watch.
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6/10
Good film i didn't get the 80s vibe
11 December 2022
Set in 1988 three girls are on there way to a heavy metal concert .When they arrive they meet 3 lads and start talking to them , the boys start to tell the girls howbthey are fascinated about the 17 cult murders in the area and offer them some beers and a joint.

After the concert the lads suggest they got to a bar for more booze but there are no bars in the area ,wanting a few more drinks one of the girls invites them back to her dads house (who is away) for a few beers and a boogie.

Really enjoyable film Great acting with a good cast the story is good Loads of blood but not mega gory Well worth a watch.
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6/10
Excellent entertainment
27 November 2022
Classic schlock ..im surprised this film is rated 15.

The film ia set on another planet and scientists have had a genetic experiment go wrong so the local space inspector comes to visit, he want to destroy creature but a beautiful woman scientist smiles, bats her eyelashes and invites him to diner so he doesnt bother.

Overnight the creature escapes and starts killing people.

The creature looks quite good and the killings are ok The effects are good The inspector who is a scruffy looking 40+ year old guy manages to get hold of the hot looking woman scientist whos much younger then him and he also has a naked steam room encounter with a young bird half his age who boyfirend was killed about 12 hours before.

One of the girls is naked half the film and the rest of the time she wears a small robe (we are talking full bush here).

The lead scientist is smoking a fag non stop even when he is being cut open to remove a growth inside him.

Its brilliant and enjoyable loads of blood n' guts , melting people and nudity ..top stuff.

The film is 1hr 17 mins which is perfect ..any longer and the fun would start wearing off Well worth a watch if you like good bad films.
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Pin (1988)
6/10
Something new for the 80s
25 November 2022
Dr. Linden has a life size medical dummy called Pin (Short for pinocchio) and he uses ventriloquism to talk via the dummy to help educated his yound patients and his own two children, the little girl knows it is her dad doing a trick but the brother doesn't.

One day Dr Linden hears his son talking to Pin and and he hears pin replying , this freaks the dr out so he decides to take Pin and give him away.. later that night the Dr and he's wife have a car crash and snuff it.

The Two children now about 17 and 18 live in the house alone .

The son brings pin home to live with him an his sister .. he thinks pin is alive.

Nice Psychology horror with a strange atmosphere, the film builds the story up nicely and with decent acting makes this a really watchable film.

Its isn't a slasher so the he gore is limited to a the likes of bludgeoning etc but they still manage to bung in a pair of boobs.

Worth watching good story a bit like psycho and magic.
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5/10
Quite good 80s flick
22 November 2022
300 years ago 3 women who were thought to be witches are killed by the towns folk of Devonsville.. Moving forward 300 years 3 woman arrive in devonsville to start new jobs .

The people of the town are religious and simple people and after a few incidents they start to think the 3 women are the witches returning for revenge.

The deaths are far and few between but are good , there is an exploding head, an axe in the head and a melting face amongst others. The acting is good .The story is pretty basic but good enough for a horror, it is a bit messy at the end and there are some nudity lobbed in.

Not brilliant but still worth a watch.
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The Vigil (2019)
3/10
Had some potential.
21 November 2022
A man is paid to watch over a dead body of a orthodox jew as part if a religious ceremony, its a last minute thing because the last person who was watching this dead guy ran out scared .

He must simply sit in the house next to dead guy who is under a cover for 400 bucks and only for 5 hours , but the dead guy is cursed by a demon .

Loads of ghosty stuff happens but the man has a mental illness and he thinks he is hallucinating He is seeing things ...and they might be real If you have seen the conjuring or insidious then you would have seen everything in this film , it is a well made BLUMHOUSE film with high production, good effects and decent acting but it is slow and sooooooo predicable , i just watched a really good zombie film before so this was maybe the wrong film to watch right now but i found it boring You might like it it is a bit creepy.
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The Being (1981)
4/10
What is happening?
17 November 2022
Toxic waste is being dumped "legally" in the drinking water near a small town in the U. S A monster appears, so does green slime, and tentacles from nowhere.. There is no real plot here just random events and killings link by a sheriff and a scientist .

Even for 1981 the effects are evil , the editing is atrocious ,the acting is mainly ok apart from the sheriff ..his acting is so bad they might as well have stuck a tape recorder with a robot reciting his dialogue on a trolly and pulled it along with a string ,seriously the babies acting on an easter egg hunt was better.

There are a few gory deaths but nothing special ,there are a couple of pairs of tits thrown in to save the day.

This film is actually billed as a horror but im sure its a comedy Mildy amusing film.
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The Unseen (1980)
4/10
Very mild horror
12 November 2022
Three woman reporters find that the hotel they booked as messed up and has no room them. The other hotels in town are also fully booked and it seems like they are gonna be sleeping in the car until a strange little man from the local museum offers to put them up at his house where he lives with his sister. The unseen is actully a freaky annoying sounding lard arse in the basement.

Generic horror with good acting but the story is stupid ,the soundtrack is nothing special ,the gore is so mild that there is probley only a cups worth of blood in the whole film, but there is this genres invariable glimpse of tit ,bush and arse.

Watchable but not great .
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7/10
Charlie is a Great killing machine
12 November 2022
Charlie's Farm (2014) Four friends decide to take a trip to the aussie outback to visit Charlie's Farm where 30+ years ago a mad cannibal family were slaughtered by the locals.

After they are warned not to go anywhere near the place the friends finally arrive at the farm and spend the night The next morning they are joined by a couple of backpackers and decided to split up and go to investigate the farmland, Little do they know that charlie is still alive and is one crazy giant of a man.

Surprisingly good brutal and gory film The main bad guy is massive and he looks really cool , after a friend loses contact with them he decides to go looking for them The friend is no other then kane hodder the guy who played jason voorhees..... in a great scene he goes toe to toe with charlie and charlie makes kane look small The deaths are really good , the music is decent and the acting is good stars Tara Reid and features horror legend Bill moleley Good ole fashion slasher film Well worth a watch.
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5/10
Enjoyable scf fi horror
9 November 2022
A meteorite lands on earth and a creature crawls out into the celler of a nearby house.

The creatures starts to spawn little aliens and they escape into the outside world and start to kill people.

A Group of friends meet at the house to revise some scientific school work and discover one of the aliens spawn but pretty soon they are over ran by a horde.

A kid who likes horror films who also lives in the house finds he parts of his dead parents in the celler and decides he is gonna try to kill the main monster.

There is Loads of gore and death with pretty good effects The music is quite decent too.
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6/10
Cool zombie film
9 November 2022
An squad of zombie killers team up with a doctor to try find a cure or a way to stop the zombie apocalypse. .. A super over the top gore-fest in the same vain as braindead mixed with day and dawn of the dead Overall a decently good film with some funny bits and good gore, some of the zombie are the blue n' green face paint ones and some are like the zombies from return of the living dead .

The film has a few "nods" to other horror films: they watch and talk about evil dead the characters have names like Raimi, Carpenter, Savini, King, Romero etc.. Decent story, acting and soundtrack Nice to see old fashion zombie gore Worth a watch.
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Death Screams (1982)
4/10
A film with no plot
6 November 2022
This film has no story whatsoever Teens at a fun fair go camping then go to a graveyard then they go to a old house One of them tells a horror story One goes swimming in the nude Another one goes for a crap and gets killed a couple of head get cut off All the time in the background a fat sheriff is looking for some missing kids .

The film just plods alone with nothing going on and random people are getting killed It Would be more enjoyable if there was more gore Its a shame because it started with some prospects and the atmos was kinda decent But there are a lot better slasher film out there.
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5/10
Dracula or Nosferatu?
6 November 2022
Jonathan harker travels to transylvania to sell Count Dracula a house ,Dracula buys the house then hops in a Coffin , he get put on a boat then lands in Germany with a load of rats in the other coffins .

Everyone aboard the ship is dead and the locals think it may be the plaque.

Pretty soon dracula is killing load of people.

This is not a remake of the 1922 Nosferatu or Bram Stoker's Dracula but a blend of both with new bits added.

It does features characters from the book like Van Helsing , Mina, and the nutty renfield (who has a mega annoying laugh) but it is mainly focused on lucy harker, there are a few other changes from the original story too.

Nosferatu is atmospheric, a lot darker and stranger then the hammer and other dracula films ive seen.

The acting is good apart from the gypsies (i think they may have used real ones) the story is ok ,the music score is decent and creepy at times , the effects and cinematography are ok , a lowish budget it is filmed in delft and supposedly ment to by germany .

Starts off really good and then goes down hill a bit .

Worth a watch if ya like Dracula or rats.
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6/10
One of the best Cannibal films
3 November 2022
A plane lands in the jungle and straight away nigh on everyone gets killed and eaten , two guys get away but get split up and lost in the jungle .

One guy is captured by a tribe of crocodile eaters, and after a terrible time with them he gets a way and takes one the tribes girls with him.

He must find his way back to his plane and try to avoid the Cannibals... This film has it all Torture, guts ripped out , decapitation, skinned alive , rape ,real footage of animals skin alive, new born baby thrown to the crocodiles, people getting eaten etc... The gore effects are good , the acting is good The music aint bad the story is simple .

There is tons of nudity , the lead actress is topless throughout .

The tribes are apparently locked in the stone age but the lead actress still managed to get a boob job.

Great film I watched this film years ago but forgot about it, I only remembered when i saw the tribes kids pissing on their prisoner.

Well worth a watch... try get the Un-Cut version for the full gore extravaganza Apparently based on a true story aka: Cannibal Holocaust.
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4/10
The cover art is better then the film
2 November 2022
Silent Madness (1984) A psychopath is accidentally released from an asylum after a mix up with the names , the madman returns to the sorority where he killed four girls 20 years ago.

A psychiatrist spots the mistake and travels to the sorority hoping she'll find him ,she informs the police but the asylum cover up the mistake and send 2 nutty attendants to track down the killer and kill him.

This film was made in 3D and features some overly long shots of things pointing at the screen , the version i watched was 2d .

The killer is a tall mute with red around his eyes.

The acting is a mix of terrible and good (it features aunt Bedelia from creepshow) The music is ok ,The gore is crap apart from the drill in the head scene and some girl flashes her breasts once .

Basic 80s slasher which could have been a lot better if they add more gore.
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Neon Maniacs (1986)
5/10
Good film but not very neon
30 October 2022
In San Francisco a bunch of teens hanging out in a park at night are slaughtered by a gang of freaks ,when the police arrive the only survivor is a girl called Natalie.

The police don't believe her story and send her home .

The following night the freaks try to kill her and boyfriend .

The only person to believe Nat is her boyfriend and a strange young girl .

The neon maniacs are a bunch of weird monsters who live in the golden gate bridge, there is a samurai, a doctor a caveman , an indian and other monstery things Not sure what they are or where they came from but they like to kill people.

This actually a decent film , the effect n' gore was good ,the story was ok , the acting was good the music was ok (apart from the battle of the bands section) Mild nudity and the usell non-believer cop thrown in for good measure Worth watching.
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After Death (1989)
4/10
Zombie movie not related to the zombi franchise
24 October 2022
On a little island in the middle of nowhere a voodoo priest's kid dies a he blames the local drs for not saving her so he raises the dead.. The one only survivor the onslaught is a little girl.

20 years late a group of people on aboat are passing said little island and there boat brakes down , it just happens that one of the people on board is the little girl who escaped the island 20 years before and she has forgotton all about .

The living dead are still roaming the island and the usell head blowing off, throats ripped out events occur .

This film contains No tits or george w and the gore aint geat.

The zombies look pretty bad.

Still it entertained me while i was slomocked on the sofa drinking my indian tonic water with a hint of lemon.

Ps also called zombi 4 , has nowt to do with any other zombi films in the series Zombi 2 is zombie flesh eaters etc...
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5/10
Michael Myers part 3
21 October 2022
It has been 10 years since michael myers was burnt to a cinder , he has now recovered enough to be transferred to another hospital.

The have decided to send two medics on the night before halloween to escort him , funnily enough he kills them and escapes.

It is now time for him to return home to haddonfield and continue his massacring .

Along the way he kills a mechanic and takes his over-alls and then he steals a michael myers mask from a drug store.

Dr loomis also survived being burnt alive and is on the case.

Laurie strode is dead so now michael is after killing her daughter .

Not the best halloween film and not the worse.

The mask looks a little bit rubbish and not really scary.

There are loads of killings to add to mic's tally , Good acting and of coarse the excellent (reworked) halloween music Worth a watch but no way near as good as the original halloween.
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Ms .45 (1981)
7/10
Great Revenge Movie
19 October 2022
A grindhouse classic A shy mute girl is walking home from work and she is dragged into an alley and raped , she goes home in shock only to be confronted by a burglar who also rapes her ..but she managers to hit this one on the head with a glass apple and then smash his head open with an iron rendering him dead .

After cutting up and bagging his body she dumps the bags around new york, she is now insane and goes on a killing spree with a .45 she took from the burgler killing any man that talks or even looks at her ..class This is an brilliantly made film The acting is top class , the music is good No nudity loads of blood and a dismembered body Well worth a watch.
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Turkey Shoot (1982)
6/10
Bad title decent film
19 October 2022
In the future year of 2000 prisoners on a remote island are kept in a camp to be re -educated, the warden (a guy called thatcher) who is in charge of the camp and his crazy guards can do what they like , they rape , kill and maim the prisoners.

Five of the prisoners are given a chance of freedom but they must survive in the wilderness untill sunset while the prison warden and a few rich people hunt them down.

Some good gore , fair amount of T n' A , loads of explosions and a bonus of a werewolf freak type man joins in on the hunting .

Good acting ,excellent entertainment , terrible title but i think this movie is also called blood camp thatcher (which is even worse) well worth a watch.
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3/10
Terrible script and terrible music
19 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Anthology Horror film.

The film starts with a terrible pop band playing a awful pop song and jumping around like idoits on a night train ,the camera then moves into one of the train cabins where God and the devil are reviewing cases whether or not the people should go to heaven or hell ..this leads in to each story ....

Story one :A guy who gets put into a mad house and the drs drug him and make him kidnap people and then cut them up so he can sell their body parts , he strips the women and rapes the ones he fancies.

Loads of gore and more breast then a porno

Story Two:A man is forced into Russian roulette type games by a jealous rival Loads of gore and further display of the female chest.

Story Three: i aint got a clue what this one was about, there was a nazi who never gets old , a man writting a book about god not being real , loads of demons poping up here and there , a monk ,and a policeman investigating the death of a old jewish man.

No nudity, minimum gore

After each story it returns to the crappy pop band playing the same crappy song.

The stories are really badly put together, the effects are terrible but funny and the stop frame animated has to be seen to be believed.

Acting is okish ., the editing is terrible , the score is old library music, did i mention the pop band are terrible The film ends with the train crashing Over all a pretty bad movie but funny.
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5/10
Strange type of non gory ,violent free horror
19 October 2022
A girl has to stay alone in a mausoleum over night as an initiation but her friends plan to sneak in and scare her, it just happens that same night a dead guy with telekinetic powers has awoke he also decides to raise all the dead in said mausoleum.

This is a strange film ... it IS a horror film but with no blood ,no gory deaths, and no nudity at All it does have is really good looking dead bodies/floating zombies.

The acting is decent acting (Nice to see Adam west) the musical score is not bad and its has a decent story .

I was gonna turn it off when i saw it was rated PG but i didnt and it wasnt to bad .
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The Outing (1987)
5/10
I wish it was a bit better
19 October 2022
A gang burgle an old womans house and kill her after the only valuables they find is a an old lamp, one of the gang rubs the lamp and a genie pops out and sleighs them all.. unlucky for the gang this is a arab type genie called a jinn and it doesn't give ya 3 wishes .

Later the lamp is taken to a museum.

A bunch a kids decide to spend a night in this museum and the genie/ jinn monster carries on the killings.

Decent film with a few good deaths ,a zombie and monster genie and a fair amount of T n' A . The acting is good and the score is good .

Classic 80s routine For some reason this film is also called :the outing .
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The Zero Boys (1986)
5/10
The zeros are no heros
19 October 2022
The Zero Boys are a group of paintball champs.

One weekend they and their girlfriends head out to the forest and come across an abandoned cabin .

They soon find that they are not alone, but the good thing is they happen to have semi automatic weapons with them .

This film starts quite good and then goes a bit mad . The 6 people who are being hunted have semi automatic weapons and the bad guys have a machete and a cross bow.

The bad guys are the worst bad guys ever in a horror film, the deaths are rubbish and there aint a bare breast in site which is unusual for this type of film.

The tag line for the film is " Dawn of a new breed of Heroes" which is bull because these guys are useless in a fight.

Not bad quite entertaining.
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