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gberns
Reviews
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Brandon/Teena from Boys Don't Cry is now a Boxer?
Just reviewing all the spew coming from the brainwashed masses of people who have jumped on this bandwagon is proof that 90% of the American public are mere followers. Hillary Swank reprised her role as the Cross-dressing he/she "Brandon/Teena" from Boys Don't Cry to try his/her luck in the boxing ring. Although for the most part, everyone seems pretty sure she's just a she. There's no difference between the two characters, really. Maybe a little more buff, but that's it. This movie is a joke. No one cares about female boxers. No one cares about Hillary Swank. And no one wants to see Chad Lowe act like a little girlyman at the Oscars again and start crying like Rocky when Mickey died....I wish Clint would stick to Westerns and Dirty Harry, what he does best......this is pure crap. Doesn't anyone own a brain anymore?
Titanic (1997)
Kate Winslett's nude scene is the only reason to watch this.....
Mildly entertaining at best. At least a 6-pack is needed to enjoy this film. If you take a drink every time Leo DiCraprio screams "Rose!", you'll be drunk in no time. The only conceivable reason to watch this film a second time is to check out Kate Winslett's delightful headlights in full bloom. But she can be seen in all her birthday suit glory in Holy Smoke now, so it's really not necessary at all....Other then that, it's pure Hollywood Big Budget Rubbish. James Cameron is in the same class as Jerry Bruckheimer & Micheal Bay, who annually churn out the most redundant & unbelievably unbelievable crap which caters mostly to the masses of brain-dead followers who would eat a poop sandwich if they heard it was cool....
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Too bad the casting director was on acid when he chose the male leads for this film....
Pearl Harbor. Another mindless, pointless, emotionless, senseless, & entertainment-less big-budget Hollywood Flop by Micheal Bay. This guy has tanked more movies then.....Ben Affleck, for chrissakes....Why Hollywood even promotes Micheal Bay's mega-flop movies is beyond me. All I gotta see is "A Micheal Bay Film", and I know I'm gonna see lousy acting, over the top special effects that insult your intelligence, slow motion crying scenes with crappy pop music background noise, and most of all, a lousy overall plot.....
Since this was based on Pearl Harbor, I had to see it for myself, simply out of respect for those who died there. This could've been a great movie, considering the $100+ million budget. The saddest part of this whole debacle was casting. They cast the two most monotone, emotionless, talentless jerk-offs in Hollywood as the leads, Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnett. These two guys make Frank Stallone and Jim Hanks look like Oscar worthy actors. Over the years Affleck has quickly built his own reputation for ruining big budget movies, and Hartnett is about as likable as a case of hemorrhoids. Unfortunately, these two idiots are in the movie too much for any other part of it to be remotely enjoyable.
The actual attack scene was very well shot, but the over the top flying sequences where Ben & Josh turn into the flying Mancini's and start pulling off barnstorming stunts with planes that simply weren't capable, is truly annoying. It's kind of like watching Armageddon, only in 1941. There's virtually nothing believable about the flying scenes. The best parts of the movie are the scenes that neither Josh Hartnett or Ben Affleck are in. The Japanese attack was very good. As well as the storyline of the Japanese command and the American high command. But, as stated, enter the Bobbsey twins, Ben & Josh, and every oz. of respect just flies out the window.
Overshadowed by Affleck & Hartnett's lame Bo & Luke Duke imitation, is Kate Beckinsale's performance. Too bad the casting director was on acid when he chose the male leads for this film....Alec Baldwin did a okay Jimmy Doolittle imitation, but once again, the attack on Tokyo with the B-25's storyline was ruined by the presence of Affleck & Hartnett.
A great start to this film would've been for Affleck & Hartnett to be failed out of flight school for being idiots, sent to the front line in Germany and killed, then get on with the rest of the movie without them in it.....
Where the Boys Are (1984)
Disappointing
At first glance, this seems like it should be a mildly entertaining 80's style spring break party/skin flick. What unfolds is a disappointing attempt at a spring break drama. With a cast that includes babes like Lisa Hartman, Wendy Schaal, and playmate Lynn-Holly Johnson, combined with a R-rating, you'd expect to be fulfilled, yet bikini's and crappy drama is all you get. The R-rating isn't close to being justified, and it could've gotten a G-rating save for a few swear words. There's a few scenes that conjure up a brief chuckle, but you're definitely left wanting more, especially in the scenes with Holly-Johnson, who you'd expect to bare some skin considering her Playboy resume, but she appears to think of herself as more of a Thespian, which is ridiculous, considering I think this was her last big screen appearance. Overall I give it a 3. Rent Spring Break instead.....