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Today You Die (2005 Video)
1/10
zomg this is the crap!
13 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
this is only the second time i have been moved enough to write a review. unfortunately, both times they have been for movies that can be described with several 4 lettered words that can be defined as faeces or excrement. the other movie of such calibre was masked and anonymous.

anywa, onto the review.. there are several key things wrong with this movie which i will describe below.

1) steven has lost the plot (i.e. in all his other movies, family / friend gets killed. steven gets angry. steven kills people. the end).

2) steven has run out of money (there was a good car chase scene at the start, but i think he blew his budget on that and couldn't afford a decent script writer or editor).

3) steven no longer appears to do his own action. instead, the (from memory) 2 fight scenes were shot neck down and from the back, so you couldn't actually see his face. most likely a stunt double. i'm guessing chuck norris.

in summary.. worst seagal movie ever. second worst movie i have seen in recent history, and i've seen a lot of bad movies.
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1/10
this movie sucked monkey balls
24 April 2005
omfg this movie was crap. seriously i have no clue what the movie was about, what the point of the movie was, or how they got funding for such a movie. the back of the DVD describes the movie as having "a barrage of wit", but the only entertainment value i got out of this movie was spotting the numerous cameos and seeing Steven Bauer in it (who incidentally was in another movie - Pit fighter - i saw in the same sitting). below is a summary of the movie to help those who might be thinking about watching this.

the good : the dolby water droplet scene at the start. steven bauer. the credits.

the bad : The soundtrack was pretty much all bob Dylan music (which is OK if you like him i guess). there were no special effects. it was 102 minutes long and there was no coherent story. the ending made absolutely no sense.

all i can say is i'm glad someone else paid to rent this DVD.
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