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bradclayton
Reviews
Unfrosted (2024)
It's criminal that ##### ##### didn't make an appearance
A movie with a massive cast of comedians all about the Pop-Tart, and somehow, it gets made without a single appearance made by Brian Regan?
As a fan of Seinfeld's style, I enjoyed the movie. Some moments were stronger than others, but this is the Seinfeld way. Lots of fun cameos and satire.
But what a missed opportunity to have made *this* movie and not included Brian Regan. If you're not familiar with his bit on Pop-Tarts, go watch it (then buy and watch all of I Walked on the Moon). Then come back here and express your disappointment that the movie didn't conclude with a final surprise reveal of a Brian Regan cameo.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Alloyed (2022)
Best episode by far
This was easily the best episode of the season. It's somewhat hindered by being saddled with the weaker writing of the previous episodes, more of the poor dialog, and a desire to cram some of Tolkien's popular characters together, but... as a whole, it was a good episode.
If you've stuck with Rings of Power this long, Alloyed (not a great name, imo) should be entertaining and the high point of the season. Our protagonist still has some issues, but the pacing was good, there was some intrigue, and even the main mystery box is handled pretty well.
I wish the rest of the episodes had been more like this (but, please, stop trying to spin silly metaphors out of every other line of dialog).
Hopefully season 2 will be more like S1E8.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Udûn (2022)
I still just don't care about anyone (cept maybe Adar)
This show is an aggregation of individual scenes with really no greater whole. Cliche after cliche, characters without solid motivation, and a general "smallness" to it all.
We're still mostly caught up on little things like if someone finds a trinket, or whether or not seeds will heal a wound, but this episode did get a bit bigger, albeit in some sort of nonsensical ways.
There's a whole collection of things that really don't make any real sense if you think about them at all, and I suspect the writers are relying on you to only consider the immediate moment +/- about 10 seconds. For example, please get excited if someone rides out of nowhere to save the day, and please don't at all ask how they managed to warp three miles ahead of everyone just so they *could* ride in and save the day. Or look at the spectacle and please just ignore how physics and nature might work. Etc., etc. Plenty of Deus ex machina stuff here.
However, it's still the most interesting episode so far, despite the nonsensical stuff. You really have to ignore a lot of basic storytelling, but if you've made it this far, I suppose this episode is a high point...? (Though, it's as far from Tolkien as it's ever been.)
Show would have been 10x better if the main character hadn't been named Galadriel, and if the show didn't have "The Lord of the Rings" in the title.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Partings (2022)
Each episode better, and worse, than the previous
There are a couple individual scenes that I'd consider some of the best of the series, but then there are such ridiculous scenes and dialog and developments that any other improvements sort of don't matter.
The Rings of Power has demonstrated that there is almost no conversation that doesn't involve some degree of conflict between the parties--not because it makes sense for there to be some conflict, but because someone must think conflict is required in all dialogue. Two friends, a parent and a child, whatever the interaction, there's going to be some contrived conflict before RoP lets people talk to one another. And if you start to think there's been some reconciliation of the conflict between two characters, don't worry, it'll be back the next time they talk.
As we've seen before, RoP seems to have one story arc jump many days, if not weeks, while another one progresses a day or two, but then other clues seem to indicate the timelines are in sync. It's difficult to follow exactly how much space has passed between different scenes.
And that's true of the larger plot, too. We have a demand that a meeting will be held at first light ("first light" seems to be a popular phrase in fantasy settings, I guess). Supposedly this meeting is going to be important, but then it's entirely skipped. This is another habit RoP has: tell us something important is going to happen, or did happen, but never show us. RoP has a real problem with cutting out all the wrong parts and leaving in really contrived drivel.
That being said, there are aspects of Adar's character that can be intriguing, and there was a scene with the halflings that honestly had me excited for a moment (unfortunately, the ultimate resolution, and the immediate follow-up sort of put a damper on it all). Meteor Man is a strange mix of almost okay, and almost idiotic. I think they are trying to make him out to be discovering the world, but the way he's a simpleton at times diminishes the character a bit.
The Numenor plot is just bad. The public as a whole is not believable. Last week's ridiculous "one elf showed up and now they are taking our jobs" thread bounces to "half the city wants to fight with the elf." It so desperately wants to be big and important, but the Numenor plot is a mess of excuses to show Galadriel be irritated or to smirkingly defeat lots of NPCs. And the subplots are just as bad.
I'm planning on sticking with it through the end of the season, but each time I watch an episode, I feel like I need to go watch something good to wash the terrible writing off. I rewatched the Bridge of Khazad-dum scene from The Fellowship of the Ring, and it made me sad that RoP is so very, very much worse than what it should have been.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: The Great Wave (2022)
Sigh...
Just stream of consciousness reactions after watching the episode:
There was one scene that was genuinely interesting, but even that turned to the cliche by the end. This episode was a step backwards, in my opinion.
This show continued to contrive conflicts and resolutions out of nowhere with almost no setup (and thus, almost not payoff). We have a moment that is meant to be somehow meaningful between a parent and child, because (as the show tells us twelve seconds before it resolves the conflict) the child wonders about the parent's approval/disappointment. This isn't something we've seen building, it's introduced immediately before it's resolved. Before you have any reason to even care, it's over. The music suggests the scene is *supposed* to have some emotional weight, but it ends up being a giant "so what" that uses screen time to accomplish nothing.
The show throws a myriad of these low-stakes conflicts, or tension between two people just so there's tension between two people. Something we never cared about before, or saw before, introduced moments before it's resolved, so the audience has zero investment and doesn't care at all when the resolution comes.
As we've seen in the other episodes, the show acts like there are stakes, acts like those stakes are supposed to matter, and then almost immediately resolves whatever supposed conflict supposedly existed.
And instead of focusing on things that would impact the larger world, we have "Oh... did my friend keep something secret from me?" Then we have this secret to be a secret for three minutes, and we're supposed to accept that as compelling storytelling. Or, let's have conflict between two friends that we had no idea were friends, don't act like friends, and seem to actually *not be* friends, but since the show told us they are friends, I guess that's drama.
The level that things happen at in this show is "will I find a bag of food?" or "will I find a piece of paper" or "will I get hidden in this bush before I get spotted?" The heroes and villains succeed or fail based on dumb luck or unfortunate timing. Galadriel lives or dies based on whether or not she happens to run into a raft in the middle of the ocean, Nori succeeds or fails based on whether she can stay hidden beneath a sheet, Elrond succeeds or fails based on whether he hears children reciting a rhyme or not.
These are not strong characters that determine where the plot goes, these are characters that are driven here and there by silly little machinations of chance. It's all so amateurish and unengaging.
In no way is this structured anything at all like Tolkien's writing (not in any meaningful way, at least--there certainly is flat out copying here and there). But, even aside from not living up to Tolkien, it's just poor writing.
And Galadriel doesn't behave like someone 1000 years old, she acts like a 22-year-old with almost no life experience, let alone *centuries*.
Halfway done... we'll see what happens next episode.
(The one good scene was probably the best scene of the show so far, though.)
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Adar (2022)
Better than the others, but sadly, still not very good.
There's less out-right nonsensical stuff in this episode, and less terribly-inappropriate-for-the-setting dialog, but you still mostly get things that are setup just to look a certain way onscreen, or to seem like something significant on paper, rather than as part of a compelling story.
Galadriel still has no real range of emotions (despite a rather awkward moment). They've managed to bring in some new cringe lines, and what are we supposed to think about the halflings? This show thinks that if they throw in a random conflict out of nowhere, then have a character "overcome" it in 10 seconds, it's showing depth--but it just feels so very shallow all the time. Forcing yourself to be compared to Tolkien's beloved writing certainly doesn't help in that regard, either.
Things don't seem happen in this show because they are reasonable or plausible, they happen to be part of really weak setups for just as weak payoffs.
This episode includes some development with the elves that requires the audience to either forget that elves' supposed purpose in the South lands, and/or just accept that these elves are sometimes just completely incompetent at everything they do. Then we get some contrived moments that, presumably, are supposed to be impactful, but since the show has spent zero time setting up any sort of connection with the involved characters, it comes across as entirely meh.
Multiple characters engage in a number of interactions that fall apart with the least of scrutiny. But because the writers choose to employ some cliched and uninspired solutions, we get to watch characters behave in silly ways to create silly conflicts, so those silly conflicts can be overcome with television trope #16, or 23, or 8.
That being said, we got a little action, and some plot motion, kind of (and another cringe line that has no place in a Middle-earth setting, but oh well at this point).
RRR (Rise Roar Revolt) (2022)
Storytelling. This is how you setup and payoff.
RRR's strengths are easily worth suspending a little disbelief (though no more than the average blockbuster) and accepting the style of acting. If you can get past that, and if the violence isn't too much for you, you're in for a treat.
There is so much more heart in this movie than anything I've seen for a long while. It's nice to see a movie employ slow motion to convey emotion rather than try to magnify action. But more than the great camera work and fantastic music (this movie sounds tremendous), RRR knows how to setup a story. From the very beginning, screentime is being used to setup payoffs later.
I can see the violence being an issue for some (though, RRR is not nearly as gory as many films, but it can feel brutal at times--enough that I can't really call this a family film).
One of the best films I've seen. Excellent.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Adrift (2022)
Do you know why a ship floats, and a mast cannot?
More stuff that happens, not because believable characters or situations would dictate they happen, but as excuses for some "moment" to occur.
By this point in The Lord of the Rings, Merry and Pippen have gotten mischievous with fireworks and Farmer Maggot's crops. Sam has rushed to Frodo's defense and ventured further than he's ever been. Gimli has taken brash action. Boromir has made the case for using the weapon of the Enemy. And Frodo has agreed to take the ring to Mordor.
Characters displayed their character, we knew the stakes, and we knew what needed to be done.
But none of the Rings of Power characters have shown any real character (Disa may be the closest). There's no real sense of what's at stake (other than, "A bad guy might be out there") or any real compelling reason to watch.
There's more nonsensical behavior and lines that are inappropriate for the characters delivering them--an elf describing care by referencing an aging parent, a dwarf using an expression about a barking dog, detailing a tradition to a group of people that would already know the details of the tradition full well, etc., etc.
Depending on the scene, Galadriel might be a fearsome warrior, or she might be warry of a handful of shipwrecked humans. Depending on the scene, helping people is just part of who the halflings are, or avoiding anyone else at all costs is who the halflings are.
I don't feel like I'm watching characters with real personalities. The characters aren't doing anything because they have personal motivations, they are doing things because the writers need a vehicle for the next cliche.
That said, I chuckled at one point during this episode, which is the first time that's happened so far.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: A Shadow of the Past (2022)
Not great at anything, okay at some, poor at some
Frankly, the dialog, action, and storytelling are all pretty weak We're given no reason to care about anyone, we're shown nothing to help us understand (or care about) the stakes, and characters say and do things that just don't feel "real".
Uninteresting characters doing uninteresting things while exposition tells us what we're seeing is supposed to be meaningful. On its own, it's flawed and rather mediocre. Put against the quality of the material that's supposed to be inspiring these stories, it's woefully outmatched.
I know a lot of work went into this, and the production quality is generally adequate--sometimes good, sometimes not so good--but it's just not engaging or all that memorable. And while the scenery and dialog are usually okay, sometimes they are pretty bad. Anything on the water looks really artificial and clearly shot on a large water set rather than outside.
The main elf characters speak in these awkward lines that are presumably supposed to sound Tolkienesque, but they end up coming out like generic fantasy analogy #6. "For the same wind that seeks to blow out a fire may also cause its spread," or, "Do you know why a ship floats, and a stone cannot?" It might be passable in someone's Dungeons & Dragons campaign, but it feels really amateur here.
So far, it's just uninspired storytelling with a good budget. If it wasn't associated with Tolkien, I don't think I'd have any real reason to keep watching. However, it *is* associated with Tolkien, so I probably will keep watching (but it's also probably going to be continually setting itself up against a much higher standard that it's likely to meet).
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Uninspired fantasy with mediocre writing.
Final Season 1 Review:
As a representation of Tolkien's work, it's fails almost entirely. Characters and events are completely changed (or made up) for the sake of having a story that brings a bunch of popular Tolkien names together, but it results in something far removed from what Tolkien wrote. With some serious stretching, you can try to find hints of threads to grasp at as justifications for the contrivances made by the show, but the reality is this is expensive fan-fiction--stories told that use the author's names and settings, but that don't really belong in, or measure up to, the original works.
Taken as fan-fiction, there are some significant shortcomings to how the story is told. Episodes 1-7 are all poorly structured and filled with inconsistent motivations and nonsensical behavior. Moments of spectacle or surprise are prioritized over believable characters or substantive depth. Characters do what they do so that some future scene can presumably claim to have checked the "Setup checkbox" when the show decides to deliver what it believes is a dramatic moment. Get used to the music telling you that something on screen is supposed to be impactful. Also, get used to main characters recovering from injuries *really* quick (but secondary or background characters will perish at the drop of a hat).
By far, the best episode of season 1 is the finale. It's clear that the previous episodes were given much less attention than the finale. It would have been even better if it wasn't saddled with the earlier episodes, and it still suffers from cringey dialog and being founded on contrived setups and inconsistent characters, but if every episode had been handled with the same approach as the finale, then The Rings of Power could have an okay trip into a fan version of Middle-earth, rather than what it is--a visually impressive bit of television that could easily be at home on CW Seed.
The show usually looks very good, but never has that grounded and "real" feeling of the PJ movies. The costumes and settings feel like they are part of a TV production rather than part of an actual Middle-earth someplace. I found the music generally forgettable, which was a disappointment as The Lord of the Rings movies have such amazing music. And do yourself a favor--skip the final song played over the finale credits. I think they may have thought it'd be in keeping with tradition to have something like May it Be or Gollum's Song for the season finales, but... this first attempt is not good. Not good at all.
The acting is... pretty flat. There are no moments of real emotion. We do have moments where the dwarves yell or tear up a bit, and some will find those moments to be "emotional," but don't expect anything like Arwen's defiance at the ford, the fellowship's reaction to losing Gandalf at the bridge, Theoden's reaction to learning of the loss of his son, Eowyn's reaction (or Gimli's declaration) of Aragorn's fall, Sam's determination, Elrond seeing Arwen's marriage, Aragorn's deference to the hobbits, etc., etc., etc. Some characters are better than others, but what you get with The Rings of Power acting is more Captain Marvel than anything from The Lord of the Rings--it's never really *bad* (save one unfortunate cry face), but you're going to have to work for it if you want to feel moved or touched by any of it.
Some people are into things like The Rings of Power, where they can speculate on who will have a relationship with whom, or they don't care if the metaphors and idioms sound like they came from a high school play, or they can just accept whatever the show tells them regardless of whether it makes sense or even contradicts itself. But not me.
Personally, the bad dialog, irrational behavior, and poor character work, made it very difficult for me to get into the show, connect with the characters, or get entertained. As someone in our family said, "I feel nothing." I just never cared for any character and was far more interested to see what Amazon was going to do than what any of the characters in the story were going to do.
*** Previous Comments from before the full season was released ***
Update:
There are a number of significant issues with Rings of Power. Here are just a few.
One, there's no reason to care about any of the characters--they are shallow, unrelatable, one-dimensional, and only know how to bicker and worry. The protagonist is incredibly flat and has no depth. Her motivation is to be right and be superior--and that is about it. A terribly uninteresting protagonist, and that quality of character shows up throughout.
Two, Rings of Power seems to care only about the moment--the individual line, the individual scene--but never any deeper than that. Motivations, actions, and events fall apart with any scrutiny. Beginning with the idiocy of jumping into an ocean, a sea beast showing up, a ship showing up, a companioning showing up, etc., etc., and continuing on to warping across Middle-earth with impossible speed and accuracy to somehow arrive at exactly the right place in exactly the right time--these things don't happen because they make sense, they happen because someone thought it would look neat in the moment.
Three, related to the above, the plot and characters fall apart if you at all look beneath the surface. Characters say things they shouldn't say (for example, elves using a comparison to taking care of an aging parent, as that is not something the un-aging elves would experience). Characters do things they shouldn't do (*ahem* ocean swim, arming a released prisoner, expelling friends for no reason, among many, many others). Characters are inept all the time, watchers that don't see, Numenoreans that can't fight, guards that can't guard, orcs that can't handle a boy, elves that can't handle a warg, defenders that don't defend the single most defensible position they have, and on and on. Tolkien famously created a deep world with a rich history for which you could ask questions, and you would find rich answers. Rings of Power is a world where if you ask questions, you will get nonsense. How did they know? I dunno? Why did Elrond think that would work? I dunno? Why would they have that? I dunno? Why would they think one elf showing up is going to lead to them losing their jobs, how do people in this huge city know who he is, why would *she* suddenly be the leader, why would they just abandon them, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno.
I'm fine with people having their own take, but I honestly don't know how *anyone* could rate this show as a 10/10--it's so weak in nearly every important area. The visuals are the one thing that tend to be adequate, but the plot, writing, humor, action, and characters are so badly handled that I don't know how this show could possibly be generating genuine fans.
Original Review:
The more I review the first two episodes, the more I realize just how weak the writing is. Basic storytelling elements are missing, leaving us watching a lot of characters that we really don't have any reason to care about.
There's are a number of lines that were clearly written by someone *trying* to sound like high fantasy, rather than by someone who passionately cares about the story. There are a number of shots that feel the like they are doing the same. Ultimately, it's just kind of shallow and flat.
Some of the scenery looks good, but some (anything inside, and especially the sequences that are supposed to be on the ocean) look quite a bit worse. For me, even if it wasn't associated with Tolkien, it's just not compelling writing, but because it *is* associated with Tolkien, all the shortcomings are magnified.
Hopefully it'll get better, but for now, it's a few mystery boxes mingled with some weak dialog and too many characters spread across too little substance.
Hannibal: Mizumono (2014)
Beautiful. In a class all its own.
As close to perfect as I've ever seen. Literally breath-takingly good. You can't fairly praise or fully appreciate Mizumono without also considering the excellent craft that went into everything that came before it, but this is exceptional storytelling. I can truly say Mizumono is the standard I now am compelled to compare all other television or cinematic drama against.
The Blacklist: Gordon Kemp (No. 158) (2020)
Another one of these shallow ones
Feels like a junior high-level argument. Try being thought-provoking if you actually want to persuade anyone. This type of episode will only resonate with someone that has already adopted your position.
The Blacklist: Hannah Hayes (No. 125) (2019)
Lazy, shallow, typical.
The tragedy is the presentation that heartbeat laws are perpetuating some gross injustice while ignoring the average two abortions performed every three seconds of every day. It's far easier to present a nonsense drama with a contrived setup that attempts to tackle an issue that is often reduced to two or three word slogans, than it is to present something with even a semblance of insight, balance, or nuance. Single-minded treatments like this are supremely inadequate at addressing something as critical as a society's handling of the creation and ending of life. And, frankly, they're insulting to a significant portion of the world's population.
It's too bad some set of writers thought this episode should qualify as either legitimate drama or legitimate discussion. It seems all too apparent that the intent was to push a rather narrow perspective (though, they'd likely consider that perspective well-informed and grounded, I suppose). Some writers are able to push an agenda without alienating a large chunk of their audience. Some are even skilled enough to do so in a way that has some hope of potentially persuading the viewer to consider something they hadn't yet considered. This episode is in no danger of expanding or changing anyone's perspective, save perhaps someone with no more than three decades life experience.
The good news is that, outside of the highschool-level proselytizing that included some award dialog necessary to try and sell both the premise and the message, there was at least a smidgen of Blacklist plot advancement.