Reviews

Dumb guys who sell insurance go on a canoe trip. With no clue where they are, clueless in what they are doing. They involve local strangers who look barely human after generations of inbreeding, they get hunted, and one raped because they were too stupid to leave crazy people alone. The river kills Drew, Lewis (Burt) nearly dies, and if he only died for real in 1972 then the cinematic world would be better for it. The hillbillies try to kill them all themselves, but the canoe dummies manage to kill two of them. It's a depressingly creepy town, so bad I had to wonder why anyone went to the lengths they did to try and save anything in it. The survivors evade the law (which again seems out of place where they are), go home and cry, end of story. Altogether it's twice as long as the story requires, an extremely depressing story, and at least two hours which would be better spent soaking your head in the toilet, or running around naked in the woods while squealing like a pig. SQUEEEEEAL!!! Did I mention the acting was terrible? I know this was a horror movie, but the acting in itself was the most harrowing part of it all, save the hillbillies who deserve Oscars for convincing portrayal of craziness. The very worst of the acting, and ranking among the worst I've seen anywhere was between Reynolds and Voight.

The only worthwhile scene in this whole movie was the duet of Drew's guitar with Creepy, Dead-Eyed Hillbilly's banjo in Dueling Banjos. I'm not a bluegrass fan, but that song can be a lot of fun! Points given only for scenery and creative creepiness of town and locals.

Alright, there's no denying how the concept of seeing spoiled, ditsy assholes, bullies, and violent criminals get tortured by being forced to eat each other's crap can be somewhat gratifying, but watching an adult lose touch with reality and rage like an infant for 90 minutes is hardly fun. I know some fans of the Will Ferrell comedy cult would disagree on that last point, and if this is you then I can only say: Just keep on smoking your dope, drink your Jaegermeister, and don't ever leave your mother's house!

Unlike the first sequel, which had superb acting talent, this one failed completely on that point with all characters excepting those who played the convicts (victims). Not even creepy Dieter Laser could follow up the mad-scientist acting skill which he displayed in the original to this series, he just isn't suited for the Texas Prison Warden role, and it was painful to watch him fall down on that.

As for reality, and the claims which Tom Six makes to how any of these turds reflect this, "The Final (Insult)" takes itself much too seriously on it's medical and political ideas, and anybody who thinks otherwise needs to be locked up before they try anything so stupid. I'm no physician, nor have I any sort of medical training, but then I don't have to be in order to disprove the accuracy of Tom Six's medical claims. Considering that the Millenials grew up with all of the world's information available to them at the click of a few buttons, to see that generation making and accepting such ideas as true is the true horror which this movie causes.

Well, kids, it's not actually true that human life ca be sustained by eating feces. I would have thought that everyone down to 10 years old would know through osmosis and even TV that urine is indeed sterile, while poop is heavily laden with bacteria which will kill you if ingested. The bacteria exist safely and usefully within your colon, but if your colon leaks or you eat poop, you will become infected and you will die! Which is something to consider if you ever find yourself tempted to join that ass-rimming cult of sexual stimulation (make sure there isn't any fecal matter present).

You may have seen your dog eating his own poop when he's hungry, but this is normal for dogs and some other animals with short intestinal tracts. On account of the shortness, their digestion is much less efficient for them than it is for humans and other primates. Therefore, there is enough food value remaining in their feces that it makes sense for them to re-digest it when they cannot get better food, or somebody forgets to feed them. A dog can do this safely because it is descended from wolf stock, which has been evolving antibodies against bacteria and other pathogens for millions of years longer than primates have, and in much harsher climates. Humans have such efficient digestive systems that even if it weren't for the deadly bacterial hazard there is less nutrition in our poop than is worth the energy to digest it. Therefore, if you were put in a human centipede and you were the second in line behind the one who gets fed any sort of edible food, there's no chance that you would survive, and the last few people in a line of 500 would not even taste any s***, they would begin starving immediately.

Don't ask me how I know the above, just go look it up for yourself. I'm not saying believe anything you see that's posted on the subject, far from it - make sure, before you believe anything, that it's agreed upon by multiple, and qualified sources who present their facts in a level-headed manner without any hype, ad-hoc nonsense arguments or other manipulative tactics.

As for how this warden's lunatic idea won even a Texas governor's approval...I know there are some who would smile at that idea, but they could not expect that their voters, so many who have imprisoned family members, would not destroy their political careers.

It's a yawner of a plot - poor drug dealer loses his wife to a pair of psychopaths, poor street boy serves to add humanity to this freaksploitation flick. Liam Neeson's performance is this one's only saving grace. Most offensive is the huge plug for AA culture, which is evil in multiple ways.

To begin with, AA Twelve-Stepping is a completely unscientific program for dealing with problems which should be dealt with through scientific psychological and / or medical treatment. AA wrongly treats all addictions, particularly alcoholism with the presumption that it is a disease which is incurable,,when in fact most people who seek help in fighting their drinking habits are only psychologically addicted, not physically. The twelve-step counselors are not required to be licensed mental health counselors, nor do they need be medically trained, and the twelve-steps which it spins on are damagingly religious. To follow these steps is simply to further degrade yourself in an attempt to fight a problem which is already degrading enough! Rather than learn to love yourself so that you can love better those who you care about, you are trained to despise yourself as a sinner! Without the group dynamic of psychophants supporting each other (who become your new friends, and in too many ways displace your family) in their self-imposed disgrace, this system would not work at all. In fact there have been scientific studies done with the Twelve-Step participants and a control group, by which it was proved that it controls alcoholism no better than trying to quit on your own. Because participants meet several times per week, this does not make them any more available as husbands, wives, and parents than when they they were home and drinking in their caves - and they spend the rest of their lives in this state of unavailability!

Hollywood has been quite bad, and it is only getting worse with the harmful religious woo which it promotes, so unless I hear of something otherwise with future films, I think I'll have better things to do with my time than to waste it on dumb movies. But I thought of the people who would be watching this movie with a drink in their hands, who want to quit and may be convinced that this is their best option. If this is you, please go talk to your doctor instead!