Change Your Image
Vampinaro
Reviews
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
Wanted More Giant Shark Fun, There was Fun, But Few Sharks
The Meg was no masterpiece, but it was solid fun, an homage to a classic, and I enjoyed it a lot. I went into this movie, hoping for more of the same and walked away disappointed. Spoilers below.
The Jurrassic Park intro was unexpected, but really fun. The fun slowed during the first act. I didn't mind that they took Statham from normal, but talented and lucky to superhero (a la Fast & Furious style). The setup was a little brief and confusing, but that happens sometimes and the scene with the Uncle and his pet Meg was tense and well-done.
When we get to the second act, it's time to play "Let's hide the bad CG with really dark settings so you can't see anything or follow anything." Then, despite the build-up of their state-of-the-art facility, they suddenly have a whole mining operation immediately below it that nobody knew about. An amazing feat of engineering without explanation in a simple, fun movie would have been fine, if it didn't feel like it was shoehorned in to avoid the entire reason anyone watches these movies: Giant CG Sharks (and other ancient CG animals).
After the slog through the second act where next-to-nothing happens, nobody feels actually threatened, and hardly anything was visible, we get to the third act where the fun returns. There are Megs and they're attacking a vacation spot - but this time, they're not alone. There's a giant squid and some dangerous walking fish. To join in the fun. It's crazy and fun, but again we're avoiding the sharks for much of it.
It feels like a lazy cash-grab that avoids difficult CG to save money. There are plenty of other things they can do with a giant shark - especially if they ditch the idea that they can keep a giant shark a secret.
The Conners: Keep on Truckin' (2018)
Based on the first episode - A show in search of a lead...
It was definitely better than I expected, but it feels like a show full of co-stars looking for a lead. Dan could have carried it a few years ago, but the amazing John Goodman is a shell of himself on this show. Darlene is the attempted replacement, but her character can't hold it and as fun as she is Sara Gilbert can't hold a scene on her own. The best part of this sequel is DJ's wife. Her addition is welcome, and interesting, though there could have been more of her.
Jackie is the bright spot in the first episode, with her breakdown. She doesn't really break through to fill the lead role, but puts in one her best performances on this or Roseanne.
Darlene's daughter sucks the life from every scene. She's like the annoying friend who craps on everything happening in a show, but not in a funny MST3K way, just in a "turn-it-off-and-watch-it-later" way. Only she's there in the scene, making you want to turn off the show.