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Reviews
Damsel (2024)
Dull, predictable and cringe
The premise is good, but the execution falls flat in so many places. Lead-up to the whole dragon situation takes way too long and it doesn't matter much for the rest of the plot. You could cut out first 20 minutes of the film and jump right into her being thrown into the pit after the wedding ceremony. At least you'd have some mystery to unravel while watching. Instead, by that time, you're one-third into the runtime it's obvious who's good, who's bad, who's gonna be punished in the end. What is left is the "dragon part" of the movie.
Said dragon magically changes size several times throughout the viewing experience. In one scene it fills the whole cave, in another it's a size of the elephans, in another it looms over half a castle. A little indicator that they didn't care enough to make even obvious things consistent.
Dragon itself is not even inteligent or interesting enough. It's just angry and a bit dangerous. When it almost has its prey in its grasp it decides to go away for one reason or another, giving Elodie room to progress with the plot. Dragon is not defeated, outsmarted or subdued. It doesn't make sense. Whole conclusion to the story is lackluster at best. Some of the dialogues are cringe instead of emotional and inspiring. Watched it with my wife last night and this movie had our eyes rolling on more than one occassion. We really couldn't wait for it to finish so we can watch something else.
I think it might be targetted to a younger audience, but then there's a scene where a flock of birds is basically burned alive while flying away from the dragon, which is unnecessarily cruel for a kids movie.
If you're an adult with half a brain you should probably skip this one.
The Whale (2022)
How good can it be, right? It's the Mummy guy. Oh, I was so wrong.
That's the "George from the jungle" guy, the "Mummy" guy. I know he fell off the face of the Earth for several years due to some personal issues, but that's how I remembered Brendan. Good actor, but nothing extraordinary. Then I've seen that standing ovation clip in some auditorium for his role in The Whale and I thought to myself "It has to be some body positivity thing, right?". I mean, how good can it be.
By all means I'm not a connoisseur. I watch everything remotely good, sometimes in the background. But I'll watch a musical, cheesy rom com, avengers-type popcorn stuff, occassional drama. I stay away from niche stuff, because I want to be entertained, not research "what author meant" and how does it relate to his childhood or whatever. None of that pretencious stuff. But I do appreciate a good story, good acting, solid camera work, music, costumes and how the movie makes me feel in the end.
Here comes "The Whale". And this movie is heavy. Really heavy. It has my heart racing, my palms sweating and I find myself sniffling like a little child and bawling my eyes out at the end. I don't remember any movie hitting me as hard as this one in a very long while. I could maybe compare it to the first time I've seen "Requiem for a dream" as a teenager. I remember sitting in my chair watching the credits rolling and not being able to move. Like it all didn't sink in just yet and I needed another moment. That movie wasn't a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. And years have passed, I've seen and experienced many hardships, so rarely anything moves me like it used to move me when I was young(er) and more innocent.
"The Whale" didn't move me. It hit me like a brick to the face. I really can't say if it was Charlie's struggle, his kindness and how people took advatage, his loss, or anything in particular that resonated with me so much. The only thing I know for sure that Brendan Fraser delivered such a powerful performance it ripped the heart out of my chest.
I underestimated you, Brendan. I'm sorry and thank you.
Blonde (2022)
Really surprised by negative reviews
I don't know the life of Marilyn Monroe, nor did I read the book.
But from what I've seen, it was a solid piece of filmmaking. Ana de Armas was excellent in that role. You could easily mistake her with Marilyn Monroe. Some of the iconic shots were remade so perfectly they could fool you. The style and feel of this movie was just stunning.
The way they showcased Norma's and Norma's mother's mental problems was really jarring and hard to watch at times.
Why other didn't like it? Maybe not what they expected? Maybe they expected something completely different. That it wasn't "accurate"? It's not a documentary. It's a movie based on a controversial book, so obviously some creative liberties were taken during making of this film.
If you watch it without expectations and just experience the craft that went into the scenes and how greatly acted out it is.. there's hardly anything wrong there and it's captivating story. Almost 3 hours went by really fast, another indication of a good movie.
But if you're strongly opinionated and closed minded on the topic, don't bother. There's just no point in watching this if you "know better".
The King's Man (2021)
Doesn't really feel like Kingsman movie
Visuals are good, cast is great, plot is kinda weak, like a generic spy movie.
It just get's boring. Doesn't have the charm, humor or kick that the first two installments had. We're just going through the motions with characters. Some talk talk talk.. some tragedy.. some more talk.. let's fly across the world to find X, fight scene, etc.
If it wasn't connected to Kingsman universe it would be just another forgettable movie going straight to VOD, because despite a great cast it's not really that interesting or entertaining.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Even Neo and Trinity couldn't save this garbage
It's really disappointing to see franchise fall this low.
Actions scenes are uninspired, feel very generic and don't really carry any weight. Neo as "the One" is stripped from all abilities and he's basically running away from every fight the entire movie.
There's so much exposition it's putting people to sleep. I nearly drifted off while listening to another explanation on what happened during past 20 years. Dialogs are boring. There are no stakes that get viewer invested in the story. It's like watching a documentary/commentary and not the David Attenborough kind.
Only good thing about this so called movie was chemistry between Neo and Trinity. But it's only based on the history from previous movies. It wouldn't stand on its own. This said, you could feel the love and tension between those two. It was really enojable watching how they found each other once again.
Overall, wouldn't recommend this movie, unless you need something playing in the background while you do the dishes.
Yellowjackets (2021)
Does it really deliver?
I have mixed feelings after watching the pilot.
Like they're trying too hard to create tension and suspense, mystery, dread and so on, but it's not quite there. Dialogues feel forced, interactions don't feel organic all that much. It's hard to establish 5-6 separate characters in 2 or 3 separate timelines and it's even harder to connect of all this into one hour long episode.
Lots of flashbacks, action takes place in present time, in the past and before the actual "main" events in the past. The show is trying to combine A LOT of story lines all at once and it's hard to feel engaged in either one of them. There's just too much stuff going around.
Another thing is with the attire girls had after they crashed and were fighting for survival. So you basically crashed and were stranded, but you had time to create elaborate ceremonial head dresses out of bones, skulls, nets, twigs? What for? It doesn't make sense, but it's more "cinematic" I guess.
I want to see how the story develops, maybe it'll get better, because right now it's all over the place.
Red Notice (2021)
Mediocre and generic to the bone
I wasn't expecting anything groundbreaking after seeing the trailer, but this movie is so generic it actually hurts my intellgence. Can't we get a fun, light and upbeat action comedy that's at least a bit original?
What we have here... Generic escape scene, generic fight scene, snarky remarks, generic prison fight scene, generic escape scene, generic "funny" dialogue, generic conversation about feelings that's supposed to reveal some "depth" to main characters. I mean, even opening a very huge and expensive vault is so stupid. How is it possible to have an open usb port on the lock to an expensive vault door?! How?!
Dialogues feel forced. Characters are shallow and predictable. I believe actors were sleepwalking through this boring script. Don't get me wrong I like some lighthearted fun and popcorn flicks. Not everything has to always make sense in a movie for me to enjoy it, but this one was a chore to go through. By the time you see the "big" plot twist you'll be half asleep or you won't care at all.
Dwayne Johnson plays the same character in every movie. Instead of a suit put a khaki shorts and a tshirt on him and you'll have jungle-something-whatever instead of so called fbi profiler in Red Notice.
Ryan's comedic style is amazing, but feels forced in this move. Jokes don't exactly land where they're supposed to. There's no chemistry between main characters. Gal Gadot is stunning as always, but I'm afraid her role is reduced to eye candy in most movies. I belive she could do so much more with a better script.
All in all it's a 4 from me. Colorful, sparkly, shiny and utterly shallow, generic and mediocre.