Reviews

With the first one...eh and the second one forgettable, I really wasn't excited for this one. If the X-Men, Jurassic Park, or Taken taught me anything, it was that the 3rd movie will suck. Or will mark the end of awesome movies in the franchise.

With this, I was delightfully surprised.

This was JJ Abrams first movie as a director, but you could never tell. The writing was a lot better, the characters were better, and holy crap, Philip Seymour Hoffman was just GREAT.

Not really much I can say though, because I REALLY wanna see Mission Impossible 4. From what I hear, this film was AWESOME and I just can't wait!

Where the first film was...eh...but not forgettable, this one was the exact opposite. It was bad and mainly forgettable.

This is especially sad because I've seen the director (John Woo) do some really good, fun, over-the-top movies like Face/Off. This one...well it was over-the-top.

There are no memorable action scenes, no memorable characters, Ving Rhames was annoying as hell in this, and the romance was really forced. Ethan (Cruise) tries to hook up with this girl (Newton) after he busted her on her mission and nearly got into a fatal car crash with her. Gee, I can feel the love in this movie.

The only things that were sort of cool were the Oakleys Cruise was wearing, the bad guy, and the knife-to-eye shot in the climax. Otherwise, this film was really forgettable.

This movie was released by the same guy who made Spy Kids and Spy Kids 2. They might have aged a bit throughout the years, but I can still manage to enjoy it. However, instead of seeing this as the director of those 2 classics, I see him as the director of Spy Kids 3 and 4.

Why?

Because it was filled with obnoxious 3-D, terrible acting, and CG-i that I can only describe as something Foodfight would show in their movie...just without the sexual innuendos and fetishes.

But I just can't really hate it. Besides, much of the ideas in the movie was from the director's son Racer. Plus, it was laughably bad. It's just one of those instances where it's just so bad it's good, kinda like The Room or Catwoman. It's still ugly and the 3-D is annoying, but it's a laughable and enjoyable sort of annoying.

Tom and Jerry was a huge part of my childhood. By that, of course I mean I watched the reruns wherever I could catch it, be it Boomerang or YouTube. In fact, I nearly became borderline obsessed with it. Then, with each movie that came out after the Tom and Jerry Nutcracker, I became less and less interested. Then, I decided to see the movie. At first, I wondered I hadn't heard anyone that really mentioned it.

Until I saw it.

How many ways can you ruin Tom and Jerry before it was eventually ruined by crappy movie after crappy follow-up TV show (other than Tom and Jerry tales)? Many ways, but they did it with two words: VOICE ACTORS. Uh...NO! NOOOOO! You get two of the most famous silent stars EVER, with their cartoons winning all sorts of awards (even an Oscar), and you give them VOICE ACTORS?

AND HAVE THEM SING AND DANCE?

ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER?

ALONG WITH A DOG AND FLEA?

Could your middle finger not have been obvious enough? Because that's what this movie was: a GIANT middle finger. A giant "screw you" to fans who originally loved the cartoons and thought this movie would be good.

It also doesn't help that they include human characters and even Indiana Jones. You read right. INDIANA JONES.

Ya know...do I really need to say anymore. Nope.

Come on, guys. That's like including Han Solo in Sex and the City. Or like including the Terminator in Finding Nemo. Or like putting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in a Power Ranger--oh yeah. That happened.

Parody is something that has gone pretty MEH since these two whackjobs have added their own interpretations into the genre. However, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this has to be one of the funniest films I've seen in a while.

I'm a huge fan of the F&F franchise, so of course I had my qualms about this movie. I mean, these are from the same guys who added in Neytiri to a Hunger Games parody. However, it's really funny. Yes, it does have it's really stupid moments, but it's otherwise a harmless watching movie experience that will have even the stoniest of faces chuckling. It not only made us laugh, but it seems like they actually tried to make this parody movie like the franchise.

The guys who plays Vin Diesel and The Rock really act like their characters. They even sometimes perfectly mirror moments from the first, fourth, and fifth movies nearly perfectly. All in all, a really enjoyable movie experience with very few flaws and really funny satire against the franchise.

I would jokingly give it a 10 for it being so bad it's good, but this movie is based on a real tragic event where people actually died and where there were no talking animals or rapping dogs.

Wait...what? Yep. This film includes anthropomorphic animals and an actual freakin rapping dog. Yeah. A time where rap OF COURSE was a thing of that time. It's only 1912, so people like Snoop Dogg (no pun intended), NWA, and the Fresh Prince were so popular right? WRONG. OBVIOUSLY.

Just the sheer thought of this movie destroys my faith in humanity. Yeah, OK, it was an Italian film (whom I have nothing against), but it was still terrible no matter what nationality. No matter what the Nostalgia Critic says, this film still holds up as the worst animated Titanic movie. Yes. There were actually TWO of these. Trust me I'll get to that one next time. This film, to sum up, is the 2000s version of Foodfight, with terrible acting, terrible animation, and disgustingly insulting story. This is the only time where I hoped that the iceberg would come quicker.

This is the one that influenced so many superhero films like Spider-Man 1 and 2, Iron Man 1 and 3, and Captain America. Thank you very much, Bryan Singer.

No really. This movie is quite entertaining. The special effects are a little old and cheesy for this day and age, but this is still a landmark film nonetheless. It not only started a whole genre of superhero films, but also started Hugh Jackman's mainstream cinema career before Les Mis totally fancified him. Plus. the thought of Captain Picard working with all the X-Men was entertaining.

The dialogue faltered in some places, like the infamous scene where Storm asks Toad "You know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else." Otherwise this movie was a hugely immense success since it succeeded while the superhero industry was butchered by Superman IV, Captain America (the 1990 one. Cool your britches.), and The Fantastic Four. Yeah, there was actually a worse F4 film than the 2005 and 2007 ones.

The amount of sheer awfulness and mediocrity in this film simply cannot be described in words.

We already got dumped on with Brett Ratner's incredibly god-awful X-Men: The Last Stand which shocked us on how low it went and how amazing the first and second X-Men can't hold a candle to it. Now we have this, the story that neuters Wolverine. Honestly, this is one of my favorite movie franchises, but this is just a disaster on epic proportions.

Why? Well, for one, it has more inaccuracies than The Dark Knight, and I'm not saying that TDK was a bad film at all, but you have to admit, you did ask yourself how the Tumbler got onto that 8th floor in the garage at the beginning. This one has someone looking down the viewfinder of a tank, but really it's the inside of the tank barrel.

Second, it answers questions no one could care less about or gives us inadequate answers. For one, we're not buying that James got his claws through trauma. If so, I would've gotten claws from seeing all the 9/11 photos. Another question they answered was where he got his name. See, I always thought that he got his name from the actual animal, but nope. It's from some dumb story about the moon and Trickster told by his girlfriend, Silverfox, who was just another "bottom of the barrel" character.

Third, the special effects are just disastrous. This movie doesn't have to be made by the same people who made Tron Legacy or Star Wars, but come on. Why change Patrick Stewart's face to have an incredibly ugly CG-i botox makeover?

Fourth, Dead pool. Just search up Dead pool in your search engine. Now add "x-men origins" to the end of that. See what I mean?

All in all, this movie is unworthy of the franchise and kicked it while it was down, until the 2011 miracle that was First Class.