Reviews

I have to say from the trailer I was hoping for a movie that was fun, full of action, funny, and has good dialogue.

This movie was exactly what the trailer promised me.

I'll try not to spoil the movie, but I'm checking it just in case and read at your own risk.

It almost seems odd that Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling have never worked together before because they were really good together. Gosling plays Holland March, an alcoholic cynical private investigator, and Crowe plays Jackson Healy, a thug for hire.

We don't seem to know much about these characters pasts, but Healy seems driven by a desire to do good and help people. He is far from idealistic though, he's very subdued throughout the movie like life has dragged him to the edge of hopelessness. March, well it's not clear if his wife is dead or they're not together anymore, but he is a cynic and pretty much a loser with a 13 year old daughter who takes care of him and while she loves him, also is hugely frustrated by him.

Both men find themselves involved with a girl named Amelia, March is looking for her because she's connected to a missing person case he's working and Healy is hired by her for protection before disappearing.

This however only proves to be the beginning as the two men find themselves working together, Healy because the mob trashed his home looking for Amelia and March because he needs the money.

All the actors do a great job from Gosling playing a loser drunk who is surprisingly sharp at times to Crowe playing a thug who wants to help a girl who wanted to be safe to Angourie Rice playing Holly the daughter. I'm also impressed by Matt Bomer who plays a hit-man named John Boy. I'm used to Bomer playing Niel Caffrey on White Collar. He doesn't get a lot of speaking lines, but the few he had he seemed charming at first, but something was off in an unnerving way. It was well acted.

This movie also does not shy away from violent or language and I haven't seen this many breasts in a movie in a while, though that might be because I haven't seen an R rated movie that interested me in a while. It is not a kid friendly movie at all... though I would soon recommend taking your kids to this than Angry Birds.

Bottom line, if you liked the trailer you'll enjoy this movie and there is a lot more that I haven't mentioned. Shane Black has made a movie he should be very proud of and frankly I hope to see a sequel some day.

Maze Runner is accused of being a Hunger Games rip off. Well yes, but is that really that bad?

It is end you do it poorly.

Maze Runner is about a bunch of teenagers trapped in a staging area of some sort and the only way out is through a maze.

I thought Maze Runner would be about finding their way through the nightmarishly complex maze full of traps, dead ends, monsters, and praying you find an end.

*Major Spoiler*

You find out they already mapped it out.

Yeah, by the time Thomas, our hero, arrives he is told by the Asian kid (whose name I'm not sure they ever use) that they already mapped out the whole thing. There are 8 sections and every day one section will open and the other even will close. At the end of each section is a number.

In short, what the movie should have been about, is summed up in two minutes of conversation.

Thomas manages to kill one of the monsters and they get a device of it which unlocks a new area which has the exit. But one of the leaders is convinced Thomas has done nothing but bring danger to them by killing the monster which makes little sense because we don't have the context for it. Douche teen (again, I don't remember his name) says they've always coexisted with the monsters which makes no sense since they seem really dangerous and determined to kill them.

To make matters worse, that night, they're attacked by the monsters and many of the teens killed.

With little to lose, Thomas leads most of the teens (minus douchbag and a handful of his followers) through the maze and it turns out those numbers were exit code. That would have been cool if we were there to see them find the numbers.

They go out of the maze and into some hall and find an exit sign. Which is actually the only funny scene in the movie.

And this is were the movie really flies off the rails. It turns out its Resident Evil.

I'm not kidding. It's not a Resident Evil movie, but the sun scorched the Earth, most of the human race was killed, and then some rage virus broke out. These teens are the only ones immune to the virus and this was some kind of test which raises a million questions like:

1) Why risk killing the few people immune to the virus? 2) Why erase their memories? 3) If you needed to test them and make sure they were ready to take back the world, why not tell them and send them to a military style training facility? 4) Why didn't you tell them the truth? Wouldn't saying "you're seriously our only hope or its the end of the human race" be a pretty good motivation? 5) If you could build a sustainable environment like where the kids were living with these giant walls, why not just move in and live there?

Then are questions like how much they don't climb the vines. Sure they say they don't go all the way to the top, but I can clearly see they do!Why not say there are auto-turrets that will kill you or something? Maybe in the book that its based on the vines really don't go to the top which means the movie added a plot hole.

Also the teens themselves really aren't that interesting. I remember Thomas, girl, douche bag, leader/black kid, Asian teen, teen who seems to be Thomas's other friend, and Chuck/Piggy from Lord of the Flies.

I will say I'm kinda' interested in seeing the sequel so it didn't kill my interest that much, but this movie is really stupid when you get to the twist. And that whole exploring the maze would have made for a more interesting movie. Or a pretty decent video game where you have to explore a maze in a time limit before night comes while dodging traps, monsters, and changing walls, find a number and then put it into a code to get out. That be pretty cool.

I first heard about this movie from an internet critic Nash who did reviewed some episodes of Classic Doctor Who. You can check it out for yourselves at ChannelAwecome.com, it's a really funny one.

This is the most 60s looking movie I have ever seen complete with a soundtrack out of the late Looney Tunes and the most ridiculous plot I have ever seen.

Basically the Deleks, the most popular Doctor Who villains, have invaded the Earth and Doctor Who (who is called Dr. Who in this movie) and have enslaved the human race that reminds me of the Combine occupation of Earth in Half Life 2. We have people who work with the Deleks and an active resistance and the Doctor played by Peter Cushing is our Morgan Freeman. I will say Peter Cushing does make for a great Doctor and I unironically enjoyed his performance, he smart, charming, fun, and I will defend him to my dying breath.

I don't know how to explain to you the insane plan of the Deleks or how our heroes defeat them without heavy spoilers, but needless to say I wouldn't be surprised to find out everyone involved in writing it had never watched an episode of Doctor Who and was on enough drugs to kill a small army. If you watch Nash's review or read someone else's they'll tell you about the Delek's secret plan for the Earth and why they invaded us... and it's pretty funny if you think about it scientifically.

This movie is cheesy, has a grim apocalyptic setting that clashes badly with moments of slapstick comedy, and makes me wonder if it was written by a team of monkeys instead professional writers. But despite all of it, this movie was a lot of fun and had some pretty good actors which is one of the few areas it didn't screw up.

On a final note, I did have a lot of fun watching this movie and even if you are or aren't a Doctor Who fan (which I'm only a casual fan) you'll probably have fun too.

If your curious the other is Von Ryan's Express.

(Only a mild spoiler) Emperor of the North is an odd film and I'm probably the only one of my friends who likes it because I'm the only one who has heard of it.

Set during the Great Depression, Emperor of the North is about a hobo named A No. 1 (Lee Marvin) along with a loudmouth younger man named Cigaret (Keith Carradine) try to ride a freight train run by the most vicious conductor who will flat out kill you, the Shack (Ernest Borgnine).

I watched this movie with the DVD commentary once, I don't completely agree with the guy but he made some interesting points. He called this an anti-buddy movie because what looks like might turn into a team up doesn't work out in the end.

This movie basically shows an ugly dog-eat-dog world where we see men who really have nothing better to do or anything to live for take whatever small victories they can get. They is no reason that A No. 1 has to ride the Shack's train other than a matter of pride. I get the train's crew's position who don't want hobos (who sabotage multiple trains in the movie and even set fire to a freight car) on their trains. My understanding is that if crews caught a hobo they'd charge him money (at the time $1) so the bo' (the nickname for a hobo) gets to ride and the crew get a little extra cash which in the Depression I imagine they'd want even more.

There is the question in my head why do any of these bo's care. But that is kind of the point. The movie is based on a short novel called Emperor of the North Pole, which is supposedly the title for king of the hobos because to hold that title means you are the rulers of nothing, it is as meaningless if you were the ruler of the frozen wastelands of the North Pole. But who doesn't want to be king, right? It's like a petty victory is all they have to hope for.

In conclusion this movie is like nothing else I have ever watched and is one of my favorite movies. I have no idea who might like this. Maybe rail fans like me.