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Reviews
Quan jing (1978)
VERY under-appreciated!
If you are like me, a Jackie Chan fanboy, then you will love this movie.
It has been sitting on my shelf for a while now and I have only chosen other movies to watch in my spare time due to the shockingly low rating it has received here.
What a fool I was. this movie is just as good as the likes of Snake and Crane or Shaolin Wooden Men and is only slightly less entertaining than the great Fearless Hyena.
Ignore the reviews that rate this film so low. They are obviously written by the small unfortunate portion of Jackie's fanbase that consider the Rush Hour trilogy as his biggest achievement.
If you consider yourself a true Jackie Chan fan, you will not be disappointed with this film.
Gran Torino (2008)
Why I loved this movie:
If you, like me, love watching Clint Eastwood walking around being rude to people, laying the verbal smackdown with that gravelly voice and a hardass monologue and then kicking all the butts, you will love this movie.
Think back to Hearbreak Ridge. This movie is basically Gunny Highway in retirement.
I can see a few people hate this film and to a degree, I can perhaps see why. To a lot of people the performances of the underexperienced (compared to Eastwood) actors may show through very plainly. However, in those characters and their slightly insincere mannerisms I recognised aspects of people I know - people who are awkward and don't talk like they're part of a Hollywood blockbuster. In fact, when I think about it further, despite being undeniably the best acted, Clint's performance was probably the least realistic portrayal of a real human being in the entire film.
That's part of the magic of this film for me, it's like taking a step back to the good ol' days of his cartoonish spaghetti westerns full of dastarly villains and stoic heroes. Clint's proved he can do depth of character and stone cold realism with his other movies: Mystic River, Flags of Our Fathers/Iwo Jima etc. But with Gran Torino its all about another old fashioned slice of sweet Eastwood pie that ya love so much.
Looking back on all the Clint Eastwood movies I've ever watched I think the main aspect of why I (and probably many other people) enjoy them is that they're full of satisfying moments. When the gunslinger shoots 10 guys in 5 seconds, or shows another guy how far away he can shoot a hat. Or when Dirty Harry points a fatass pistol at a bloke and tells him to "make my day". Or when Gunny Highway bitchslaps a 250lb marine to the ground. All very satisfying and memorable moments that make you feel good to watch.
Gran Torino was just full of these satisfying moments and for his last movie, I think that's just what was called for to sum up his career. I loved it.
Chaos (2005)
Well Worth Watching
This was awesome! I can understand why some people don't like it: It does feel like a long episode of CSI or some other TV crime drama, only with Hollywood actors in it. It has the same plodding pace as those kind of TV series episodes yet it doesn't run so slow that it becomes boring.
Fans of Statham will not be disappointed and Snipes' screen time is short but sweet.
SPOILER: The giveaway to the plot is when you are led to believe that Connors is dead.... Everyone knows the Stath never dies! And he even jets off wearing a panama hat! The man couldn't be any cooler.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
What the hell?
*May contain spoilers*
Did I miss something? Why has everyone got such a boner for this movie?
I feel like the director has just stolen my wallet, given me the finger and slapped my mum in the face. Only the wallet stands for 2 and a half hours of my life, the finger is a metaphor for the bitter disappointment I feel at being led on to believe I would enjoy this waste of time and as for slapping my mum in the face? Well that's just my mind interpreting the similar shock and dissatisfaction she must feel at sitting through the whole stupid thing with me. That's what watching this movie is like: metaphor after metaphor, symbol after symbol. You don't even find out that four fifths of the movie was clumsily representing something else until you've watched so much of it that it's too late to turn back. You grip your sweaty hands together hoping that this mess is going to make ANY kind of sense before it finishes and....no. It doesn't. OK, so everyone is saying you have to watch it twice, thrice, four times a winner. WHY THE SHIZZ would I watch it again? I've already lost 150 minutes of my time on this earth to it! All you fans are admitting that there is no right or wrong answer, that the film is open to anyone's interpretation. But what is the point in a movie that doesn't mean anything? I realise to some people it does: Diane basically dreams an idealised variation on her relationship and life with Camilla before she caps herself because she's actually mad and full of guilt over having her killed or something. Why go to all that trouble in the first place? This would have been a perfectly good film if there really were mobsters who try to kill an actress in order to get their own star in the leading role, she gets amnesia, becomes a lezzer with some other actress and they go on wacky adventures around Hollywood trying to figure out who she is. Instead Mr Lynch throws all that away with the cop out explanation that "Ohh, it was all a dream...woooo" and instead we are left with some crazy bint and her weird fantasy. It reminds me of From Dusk Till Dawn, a great fugitive movie until the really poor vampire costumes come out. In short - terrible movie. You can point out the marvellous cinematography, the awesome use of colours and the interesting way that dialogue is realistic/unrealistic in various places. Whatever. I don't care how well made this film is, and I will admit that; it was well made or I wouldn't have bothered to sit through the first 30 minutes. Lynch might be a great director but he's a pointless story teller. He has nothing to say in this film. What is his idea for this narrative? "There's this crazy lady... 'Kay, and, she's crazy so she kills her girlfriend. Then she kills herself. And there's titties." ...Please. Spare me the boredom. This movie should come with a warning label - Probable Waste of Time.