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Reviews
3 Body Problem (2024)
Not science fiction, but rather fantasy aiming to mock skepticism
As a computer scientist with a solid understanding of physics, I didn't find a single scientific explanation that made sense. The arguments are often centered around the notion that "Science is broken" or that "the Universe is ignoring the laws of physics" while the characters that are supposed to be highly talented Oxford students lose all scientific rigor simply because they are scientists and are expected to be skeptical and atheist by nature, leading them to deny everything like if they were very afraid to start thinking maybe god exists. At times, it seemed like a parody of skepticism and atheism from an overly dumb perspective.
While I found it entertaining, I couldn't help but be put off by their depiction of a parallel world where all scientists are portrayed as idiots and the existence of god is their biggest fear.
Black Mirror: Beyond the Sea (2023)
Black Mirror is overrated drama for teenagers now
I just think Black Mirror can do any boring drama but "In Space" or with futuristic technology and people will call it mesmerizing, captivating and "Dark". These episodes only live because of the name "Black Mirror" and the prestige it earned with it's first seasons but take that out of the equation and even with Aaron Paul and Kate Mara this would have been bashed by the critics.
There are many plot holes, dumb decisions made by astronauts and laughable lack of ground control, this could have easily been a 30 minute episode and be "decent " rather than boring, I don't understand the need to make it an hour long.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
Almost a remake of the first one
For all the first part you just have to imagine how dumb one has to be to mistake your own daughter for a random stranger with a russian accent. Yes, imagine that.
Despite the fact I never understood why The Orphan (2009) became so loved by some audience I decide to give this a chance and become really dissapointed. I think this move was a missed opportunity to please their loyal fanbase and instead it was just an excuse to take more of their money.
This movie feels so lazy, awkward, full of nonsense and for the first 40 minutes you feel like you are just watching a remake of the first one with yet another plot twist that makes everything obvious and completely destroys the mystery.
Bienvenidos a Edén (2022)
Generica y llena de clichés
Vi todos los episodios sin expectativas altas y es justo lo que me imaginaba. La serie es aburrida, no explican nada a fondo y está llena de clichés. Todos los personajes son los genéricos de las series adolescentes desde los LGBT, la influencer, hasta el que no le gustan las fiestas. Sí porque buscaron la forma de meter a la "Fiesta del año" al típico cerebroide que prefiere ver la playa y tomar café.
Tampoco es horrible para el presupuesto pero no es nada nuevo ni nada bueno tampoco.
Harina (2022)
Material rápido y barato
Una serie Spin off de una escena super viral que a a su vez es una copia de otro sketch brasileño llamado "Farinha".
Es obvio que las mas de 50 millones de visitas tan solo en Youtube iban a poner a decenas de compañías hambrientas por exprimir hasta la última gota de jugo "Teniente Harina" a seguir fabricando cada vez más material rápido y barato pero la realidad es que ni Backdoor pudo replicarlo en sus inicios además de la "cocaina" le siguieron sketches con todo tipo de drogas, Hay algo nuevo que la serie pueda aportar? Sí, un asesino serial de infuencers? Haganme el favor.
The Batman (2022)
A modern Batman
This is how a 21st Century Batman should look like. The Riddle was such an amazing and realistic villain. Social media is as important in the movie as it is in real life.
The Ritual (2017)
Can't understand why this movie is so hated
This is a good movie and it is definitely worth watching, nowadays not many good quality horror films are made and this one is really good specially for a 1 million budget.
I can understand people saying the script was "bad" because literally everything spins around a group of friends taking bad decisions but we are only looking at their perspective, we as well as the protagonists don't know what is going on. My opinion is that everything was a set up by the villagers to make them take a different path and fall in their trap.
The conclusion for just the movie wasn't that poor for just the movie but it kind of is if you look beyond that. The creature kills all villagers after knowing they failed at protecting the mummified worshipers and forces Luke to surrender in sign of respect recognizing he is a worthy opponent as he is no longer afraid of it (we can see this when he decides to shoot it with a rifle knowing it won't do anything instead of running) so it is also no longer interested in hunting him but rather wants him as an ally (he also seems to be chosen during the first cabin act).
But hey, how are you going to get back home saying that a demigod killed all your friends.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Fake reviews back at it again
When I started watching this it had a ton of 10s and 9s but it is not as good, it is too boring with no horror at all and a ton of monologues.
Dune World (2021)
literally the worst film ever made
First of all this is a mockbuster and has nothing to do with DUNE.
This is all about the same 5 "actors" with weird costumes in front of a green screen for 1 hour, that's it. DO NOT WATCH it will make your eyes bleed.
Malignant (2021)
A silly 80's slasher type film in 2021
I saw this movie without expecting too much from it as the "conjuring" movies are a hit or miss for me and but this one ended up being a pleasant surprise.
You can tell from the first 5 minutes that this is not a serious horror movie about ghosts or demons but an 80's type slasher film with a really weird villain and plot that is too silly but good enough to keep you hooked.
Silly plot, a ton of nonsense, violence and gore, I would compare this to Child's play or Nightmare on Elm Street and not to The Conjuring.
The Old Ways (2020)
It has its moments
The movie starts mediocre, then it starts developing in a good way but just when you think it is going to get better it gets boring, then it scares you, then it gets boring again.
These days horror movies are far worse, but this one is something you can watch and maybe "enjoy" without having big expectations.
Aftermath (2021)
Painful script and horrible acting
The script is incredibly dumb
"Hey you cheated and we have several trust issues, I can no longer sleep with you but I bet that if we buy a house and put ourselves in debt for 20 years we can still make it"
How is that logical? What kind of useless, incompetent marriage counselor will even say that is a good idea?
What's with Avery? Were all those scenes of Kevin hanging out with Avery made just to show that he is actually faithful to Natalie? To keep you wondering if he is going to start an affair with her just to find out it doesn't really do anything important the whole film?
And what's with the ending? They show a "Happy Ending" but seems like they completely forgot that the sister got murdered! There was absolutely no reaction to the sister being the one only human victim.
The Visit (2015)
Why the rapping scenes tho
It feels weird when horror movies try to find space for comedy, the movie makes you laugh and at the same time keeps you hooked to the mystery and scares you when it should so I think at the end it perfectly achieves its goal so that's great but the scenes of the kid rapping are beyond cringy and the last scene was not necessary. (and yes, this movie is tagged as "Horror-Comedy" in some websites).
Run (2020)
Keeps you engaged even though it is extremely obvious and predictable.
The movie starts good, but then it gets a bit boring because the whole plot is obvious and predictable.
From the start you pretty much know that she is actually kidnapped, that the whole movie is about her trying to run away (as the name says) and that some of her diseases are fake and caused by her medication.
Also they never explain explicitly if ALL of her diseases are fake but you can pretty much tell when the mother is watching the old tapes and pictures from when she was a toddler. (Eating cake when she supposedly had diabetes and running in a park when she supposedly had severe allergies, asthma, and was crippled)
Army of the Dead (2021)
The daughter completely ruined the movie
"Oh you know what Dad, I don't care if you and the whole team die, I need to find Gheeta in a Zombie infested city where no one survives for more than 1 hour. Yeah I know she pretty much committed suicide after going into the city but I don't care 2 days have passed and everyone knows it is 99.999% chance she is already dead, I need to find her"
The protagonist's daughter is the most stupid character I have seen in a long time, she made the worst decision ever and was 100% willing to put everyone's life in danger (and the millions they were trying to make) to save an old lady who infiltrated into the zombie city knowing she would die like if she was obsessed with her.
Not to mention the premise is very similar to Train to Busan 2.
A mob boss wants to recover millions of dollars hidden in a zombie-infested city so he recruits a team of people with skills to infiltrate them into city and get that money back, promising the team a big slice of it however they all know the mission is suicidal as other teams have failed.
Busanhaeng 2: Bando (2020)
Ignore that this is a sequel to Train to Busan
You should watch this movie without thinking it is a sequel to Train to Busan, this is more of a Fast & Furious type movie but with zombies.
The movie started pretty bad, character development was bad but the drift scenes completely killed the movie for me.
I wonder that were they thinking when they filmed 5 minute scenes of people drifting around zombies scenes.
Oxygène (2021)
Futuristic "Buried alive", excellent low budget film
Good movie. It is full of claustrophobic movie clichés but what could you expect? It is literally a futuristic "buried alive" suspense movie that doesn't feel boring. It keeps you on hook watching and trying to predict every movie and this is what these movies are about.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Fun movie
This movie is decent and fun, has some interesting characters however at some point it starts feeling rushed, they start making more and more video game references and preparing everything for the sequel that gets confirmed at the end.
Also as a MK fan I felt a bit annoyed with some actors, even the video game cinematics give more feeling to the Liu Kang - Kung Lao relationship, here everything feels just meh.
As Above, So Below (2014)
If Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider had a daughter
A story about a strong and extremely smart archeologist with the super power of solving puzzles that no one ever has been able so solve in minutes, sneaking into countries, caves, buildings, finding secret passages in seconds, convincing people to do what she wants in literally 10 seconds and of course the ability to open locks with a pen.
Amnesiac (2014)
Why this could be one of the worst movies of all time
For whatever reason, Netflix kept recommending this movie to me, so I decided to give it a try only to find that it is hands down one of the worst movies ever made.
This film is about a man who wakes up after being unconscious because of a car accident and now suffers from amnesia, he does not remember anything about his life prior to the accident and is being cared for by a woman who claims to be his wife. After a few days of noticing the woman he lives with acts suspiciously weird he starts doubting, wanders the house and finds out that he is actually a prisoner and the woman is a serial murderer keeping him sedated and lied so he could not escape.
The film's first half is extremely slow and boring with horrible acting and the flashbacks from the accident become so repetitive that do not contribute to anything to the plot, feels like the same scene from different angles. The woman is just a walking encyclopedia spitting fun facts every 3 phrases, I don't know if these dialogs were supposed to make the character a lot more suspenseful or interesting. And the man is as boring, he feels confused during the entire movie and never comes out with a real plan to escape other than using 5 year old kid's logic to simply run or say "Hey I saw a dead man in the basement so I think you may not be my wife"
During the second half is when the plot finally starts developing with the most ridiculous arguments ever but it is too late at that point you just want to know what the hell is going on after because you already wasted 60 minutes of your life.
Cuidado con lo que deseas (2020)
Don't waste your time with this cringeworthy film
This movie is about a wealthy family that decides to spend their daughter's birthday in a vacation house in the woods. When they arrive the girl starts complaining about their decision to only invite her uncle and not her friends, so conveniently for the plot, the uncle decides to give her a gift that night so she could be happy, which is a disturbing-looking puppet harlequin and a puppet theater, a few minutes later the doll comes to life in literally the worse CGI ever and little by little starts unveiling her family's evil plans and the reason why they wanted to be alone and away from the city.
It is hard to describe how bad this movie is, with the premise they want you to think it is a horror movie where the doll is actually relevant but it isn't. It is just another mediocre thriller about a love triangle with horrible acting, predictable plot and the added fact that a doll with cringeworthy CGI simply exists. Yes, the doll is not even mysterious like Anabelle or evil like Chucky, he can talk, walk, dance and has the only supernatural power of telling the girl what their parents are doing, even when they are having sex, yes along with many unnecessary sex scenes the doll explicitly tells the girl their parents are having sex.
By the way, the puppet's CGI entrance when it comes to like it actually makes you feel you are watching PJ masks or any other kid's show.
1/10
Dangerous Lies (2020)
Nothing makes sense
Absolutely nothing makes sense, police, lawyers, everyone blames everyone except Katie when she is the only one getting benefit out of all the drama.
La forêt (2017)
And yet, another thriller about a Forest
A kid gets lost in a misterious forest and the whole town goes crazy about it, sounds familiar right? well, I am not here to compare The Forest with Stranger Things and Dark but after watching the trailer and reading the synopsis you could only expect that hopefully it isn't a straight copy of one or another. The show is moody and misterious from the beginning even the characters seem to have doubts about their own past, as soon as the show advances you will start asking alot of questions about the case, the characters, the hints? that they give you etc and that is what makes a good thriller.
Unlike Dark and ST it barely touches the supernatural but don't expect it to be irrelevant because as it goes you will get a lot of hints about that being important.
The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)
After 10 Line Cloverfield you can't make a movie this bad
Cloverfield movies aren't sci-fi films, they are about humans trying to survive unknown threats (call it kaijus, kidnappers or aliens) without a single clue of what they are dealing with, no weapons, no science, just their instinct for survival and i think this is what went wrong with Paradox, this is what happens when you want to explain things but you don't know how so you end up messing everything.
Here you have a very diverse crew of astronauts (even though their countries are at war fighting each other) trying to find a source of unlimited energy in a method that is very, very poorly explained if not it isn't explained at all they just spit random scientific words but it really never makes sense, you just feel like they are tying to fool you, they also never explain why the earth ran out of energy, they just mention oil a few times but they don't seem to be worried about any other alternative like solar or eolic something absurd considering they live in the year 2029.
The movie is full of overused Sci-Fi cliches that we have already seen a million times in Star Trek or Alien and bad decisions that make the crew of scientists sent to save the world look like 10 y/o kids trying to solve a problem.
3 stars because it at least solves the mistery about Clovie or Aliens by saying some weird space experiment sent aliens and monsters though earth's timeline but a whole movie wasn't needed, that is just a short sentence you could have said in a more interesting movie following the Cloverfield's pattern.
PD. I totally loved when they looked through the windows and acted like "OMG we dissapeared The Earth, we killed everyone!" instead of a more reasonable answer like "Yeah, this thing sent us far away from our planet" this was more of a "James Franco and Seth Rogen in Space" scene rather than a serious sci-fi movie.
The Emoji Movie (2017)
I wish i could stop people from going to theaters
This is by far the worst animated film i have ever seen, the plot may sound familiar because we have seen it in the Lego Movies, Minions and pretty much any other recent film about using brands to make easy money.
Remember when making animated movies was all about moral lessons and making the audience have fun? well, this movie is just another strategy for making profit by just using a silly trend. Of course they don't give a damn about the quality, the story or the characters, they only made it because EMOJI is a word that sells and you can notice when they can't shut up about advertising Dropbox, Just Dance and other apps in the movie, you pretty much are PAYING to see a 90 minute add.
Hey Sony, what's next?, The MEME movie? a movie with exactly the same plot as any other garbage animated film but with all memes having fun together?, the main character will be misunderstood and trying to find it's way into the society of memes? all with different emotions and feeling that represent each meme (the good one, the evil one, the sarcastic one, the funny one)?, with the ending being about the main character being accepted by everyone?