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Kateo (2022)
This movie is just....
So take Hardcore Henry and Upgrade, have them hook up, take the resulting love child and allow it to be raised by Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage with the uncles being Commando and Johnny Mnemonic and you will have successfully raised it's child "Kateo" aka "Carter" here in the USA.
You don't go to an action movie for it's great dialogue (it helps but not needed), a simple story, insane set pieces and something a bit different you haven't seen before.
Simple story? Man wakes up, doesn't know who he is, there is a voice in his head telling him how to survive and then finds out he has to save a little girl. Check.
So set pieces....triple, no quadruple check that, insane fight scenes, insane chases, insane everything.
Something original? Check, check, check. The movie has a feel of one long tracking shot, not in a first person like Hardcore Henry.
Don't listen to the haters, go into watching this move for what it is, bubblegum action with a Korean flair.
Marty Jenkins and the Vampire Bitches (2006)
20 years late to the party...but still...
Not very often you find a micro/no-budget feature with good writing. I mean let's be honest, you're never going to find one with good acting or good set pieces. However, running across this little gem gives me hope.
Our lovable loser Marty Jenkins, well his life sucks. He looks like an escapee from a Mennonite colony, wearing a sweater vest and driving a modern VW Beetle. His girlfriend has broken up with him, his "best friend" if you want to call him that can't be bothered to return his pron movies on time, to the craptastic video store that he works in with a co-worker that despises him.
Enter our Vampire Bs (stupid censor rules). They are vapid, his best friend has a lust connection with one of them. They kidnap his ex and turn her into a B!!!!
Then we meet the Blade wanna be, taking on a different vampire coven, man they did hit that one on the nose. The vampire queen telling her minions to attack him one at a time and then him stopping the fight, asking where the techno music was at, that was perfect.
Most micro-budget movies you get the unholy trifecta, bad script, bad acting, and bad direction. But in this one you get a fairly funny script, passable acting and horrid directing, but hey what do you expect for a film that looks like it was filmed in one day for like 300 bucks?
If you see this film, watch it, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
That '90s Show (2023)
A Good Continuation...
I'm not sure where the hatred of this series is coming from. They didn't say it was a reboot, they've always marketed it as a continuation and it does that amazingly well.
Bringing back Kurtwood Smith and Debra Jo Rupp to be the touchstones to the old series was a stroke of genius, it provides a bit of consistent fan service through the series.
So no mention of Laurie (granted they gave her the Chuck Cunningham treatment in the original series). And Steven Hyde (for obvious reasons).
And bringing everyone else from the old series was well done, gave us a chance to see where they are in their lives. Eric and Donna of course being married and successful. Jackie and Kelso getting remarried for the 2nd time, and Fez is a successful hairdresser.
So now we're in the 90s. The music is 100 percent on point, ranging from hip-hop to pop to rock. Let's look at the new cast inhabiting the basement.
I think the show runners have done a great job of keeping the feeling of the show but giving the kids a new look and changing up their problems so it fits in with the time. Being a teenager is cringy, you take a lot of bad advice from your friends, you get in your head, and make bad decisions. I love they broke out the Vista Cruiser, looking forward to that in following seasons.
My biggest issue is that Reyn Doi was wearing an iWatch or some other wearable, not sure if there is medical reason for it, but they need to do a better job at disguising it going forward.
Give the show a chance, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Blonde (2022)
Mesmerizing
Rarely do I hand out 10s for a film. But Blonde has earned that.in the best of ways. You have to go in with the understanding that this is biographical fiction. So yes, the people are real, the events are real, but the dialog, he interaction is created. The best way to describe this movie is that is the cinematic version of Elton John's Candle In the Wind.
Andrew Dominik has taken Joyce Carol Oates' book and gave it form. Anyone that has read into the life of Norma Jeane Mortenson has come away with the understanding that she was a damaged woman, looking for love, a completion. Ranging from the casual cruelty of Cass Chaplin to the desired perfection of Joe DiMaggio (though not named due to legal issues) played brilliantly by. Bobby Connavale to the lost artist of Arthur Miller (not named agained but....) another amazing performance by Adrien Brody.
Coming out of this move, I was three things: 1) Mesmerized by the direction, 2) Haunted with the crossing beauty and pain, 3) Hoping this movie is a big award nominee.
So with any luck, we should see.....
Best Actress for Ana de Armas
Best Supporting Actor for Bobby Cannavale
Best Adapted Screenplay For Andrew Dominik
Best Picture
Best Director for Andrew Dominik
Out of that group I would hope that it pulls down Best Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Director at a minimum.
King Richard (2021)
It's what you expect when Will Smith does a bio-pic
I mean Will Smith when he does bio-pic you know he's gonna crush it (Pursuit of Happyness, Ali) and he doesn't fail to deliver here. He's an utterly bombastic Richard Williams to the outside world. A man with his short-comings, but a father that has a plan, and is sticking to the plan no matter what or who he hurts in the process.
But for me, this movie wasn't made by Will Smith, it was made by Aunjanue Ellis as Brandy Williams. When she turns it on, she overshadows Will, goes toe to toe with him in scenes and it takes a bit off the edge of his character. She was good enough in this movie that she should be up for a Best Supporting Actress nom when awards season comes around.
A special shout-out needs to go to Saniyya Sidney and Demi Singleton, these two young actors took on the roles of the Williams sisters and just luxuriated in them, go watch their interviews on YouTube, then watch the movie, I mean they were spot on. Just a brilliant bit of mimicry.
There are a lot of people that say the script is to implausible, and it very well may be that, but if they got the broadstrokes, I'm thinking they did a decent enough job on the fine strokes.
Head of the Class (2021)
Missing so so much....
The biggest loss of this show, it's presentation is that it isn't set in NYC any longer. It's moved to the Bay Area, so it might as well be Saved by the Bell: The HBO Years. Actually, I'll take it back, Saved by the Bell reboot is lightyears ahead of this.
The kid characters are just bland, they are all interchangeable with one another.
As for Isabella Gomez, as great as she was on the reboot of One Day At A Time, she is so much bleh here. And the go to woman when you need mean on a sitcom Christa Miller, she just falls flat. And bringing in Robin Givens for a single episode and her character is sooooooo far away from Darlene in the original series, it just hurts, yes, people change over the years, but not to the point they would be totally unrecognizable as the same character 30 years later.
At the end of the day, whoever at Warner approved this, needs to be taken out back and shot. Either that, or you pull the series for a year, rework it. Put it back in NYC, besides the fact the city lends itself more to diversity than the Bay Area, used correctly, NYC in and of itself is a character. Plus it makes it easier to have various character call backs even if they don't appear on the show.
Seth Cohen, Michael Elias. And Rich Eustis dropped the ball on this reboot. They don't get the good of the series, and have written episodes that aren't even memorable in any way, shape or form.
The Queen Family Singalong (2021)
Let's Do This Review as if Freddie was watching it...
Oh, he sounds cute, of course he does, it's Disney.
"We Will Rock You" - Jojo Siwa:
Oh dear God, I know I'm camp but you couldn't pay me enough to wear that coat, and what did they do to my microphone stand? But her voice is sooo flat, this is an anthem people, give me 100k people and make it a proper. Too bad the girl on guitar wasn't actually playing the guitar solo, I'm sure Brian would have been impressed. So far this is a 0 out 10.
Intermission:
Of course he is cute, I even like the coat he is wearing, and some semi-sly stuff. But it's been 50 years?
"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" - Jimmy Allen and Miss Piggy.
Who is this ebony god, oh my his voice has come down from the heavens, he's got the idea behind the song and he's channeling it so perfectly!!!! And now they are screwing it up with the voice of a muppet? What is this some kind of cruel joke? Jimmy Allen - 10 out 10, Miss Piggy - 3 out of 10.
The cute boy is back to introduce the next song, yay...even with the stache that only I can pull off.
"Somebody to Love" - Pentatonix
They are solid, love how they harmonize, but they are an acapella group, they should be able to pull it off. Pentatonix - 7 out 10, solid and respectable.
The cute boy is back again and what is this about the next singers being where they are from?
"Don't Stop Me Now" by Disney on Broadway
*Starts laughing" Oh my god, they are trying to kill me with the humor...do they get what this song is about? They are competent, but bloody sunday, I think they are going to kill me with laughter on this song! Disney on Broadway - 5 out of 10 for the singing, 2billion out of 10 for the lack of awareness..
Under Pressure by Fall Out Boy
Oh this has some hope, a competent band and song I looooved doing with David.....David, get over here...! They hit this song on the head with the vocals and muscianship. FallOut Boy 0 8 out of 10.
"Another One Bites The Dust" - Alexander Jean and Derek Hough.
So I figure the guy must be Derek Hough, now I know how I swing baby, but he makes me look flat out butch. But I love the attitude that BC Jean is bringing to this song.
Derek Hough - 1 out of 10
Alexander Jean - 9 out 10
Killer Queen - Alessia Cara
Come on Disney, you want to fete Queen, then why not go and get Lady Gaga, Lzzy Hale, Sharon den Adel. She seems like a nice girl, but she doesn't really bring anything special to the song, I'm getting ready to head back to heaven here.
Alessia Cara - 6 out 10. Sorry Darling, this isn't your song
We Are The Champions - One Republic.
Another pop band with a flat take on a song. Seriously Disney, you just trying to find those that are willing to work for free? This is just so flat...so bleh....so below average...it will make people wonder why wrote it in the first place.
One Republic - 2 out of 10
The Show Must Go On - Adam Lambert
Finally the one man who could replace me, doing a song that he gets 2000 percent. His vocals are soaring, and honey if I was around, I might have to get a divorce from Jim. I'm that much in love with your vocals and your look and everything you're doing in the song!!!!
Adam Lambert - 10 out 10.
Darren Criss -Bohemian Rhapsody
Oh look, it's the cute boy once again. Hopefully....well he's putting his all into it, but those faces, you should have studied the song, talked to Brian, Roger and John, understand the song, and you could have rocked it, but as cute as you are, you're just not there.
Darren Criss - 5 out of 10
Overall 2 out of 10, Too much cringe mixed in with the average and mediocre. Now back to Heaven, me and John Morrison are playing chess this afternoon.
Star Trek: Prodigy (2021)
Needs more episodes to germinate, but let's give it a chance shall we.
First of all, this is a series geared towards younger viewers, the 10-14 age range that has always been Nick's sweet spot.
That being said, it obviously takes place far later in the Star Trek timeline. The first episode does a great job of setting up the basics of the characters, and setting stakes for the first season.
What I don't understand is why do ST viewers need to have something "special" about a series at the outset, instead of letting the series develop and allowing the special to form. DS9 was interesting, but the special didn't really form until The Dominion War. TNG was interesting but special didn't develop until the introduction of The Borg.
Yes, all the main characters are archtypes that find all over science fiction. From Captain Kirk to Montgomery Scott to Nebula to Thanos, you'll be able to draw parallels all over the map, if you're going to get kids into science fiction, isn't the best way to do that to give them character archetypes that they are going to recognize?
I like the Hagemans throwing their hats into the ST ring and wanting to bring it to a younger audience.
Does it scream "classic"? No, but not everything needs to be classic, regardless of how much fanboy onanism occurs over a given universe, why can't competent and crafted be good signs? So take it for what it is, not what you want it to be and you might find yourself, dare I say it, entertained by the show.
The Doorman (2020)
Ruby Rose burned bridges with Batwoman to do this????
Ruby Rose is one of those actresses that has a very distinct style, like a lynx or jaguar or cheetah, powerful, deadly and stealthy has hell. Even in the bad movies she was in (The Meg, Pitch Perfect 3, xXx: Return of Xander Cage) you felt she outshining everyone else. And to pair her with an actual director in Ryuhei, you figure this has to be a good movie, right? Right? Well you would be wrong in this case, sadly sadly mistaken.
The only ones that seemed like they had any fun were Jean Reno and Phillip Whitchurch, who I'm guessing said, "Well the check cleared so let's get to it." The rest of the cast, it felt like 8th graders trying to do a production of Die Hard. I'm going to give Julian Feder and Kila Lord Cassidy passes because kids in a movie like this are going to feed off the adults and well...Ruby Rose makes Krysten Stewart seem like Meryl Streep and Aksel Hennie may look like Bill Burr, but he came across as a genetically defective love child of Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia with Vincent Gallo's onscreen personality.
Ted Lasso: Inverting the Pyramid of Success (2021)
Where one road ends another begins
I just have to say wow, just when you think the season finale was going to be maybe a strong 7 or 8, they come in and put on a master class on how to end a season and set the next one up. I think any school that teaches television writing should do a class just on Ted Lasso at this point and we're only 22 or so episodes into the run.
The good, closing up the entire Akufo storyline and how billionaires go absolutely nuts when they don't get their way. Jamie letting Dani have the spotlight with the PK. And Richmond getting promoted (of course).
The great is the way that they have morphed Nate's character so yes, he does have power now, but underneath it all, he's still the same sniveling person he was when he was the locker room attendant. It was driven even more to the point when Nate tells Roy about kissing Keely and Roy just outs and dismisses it, basically telling Nate, "You ain't in 'er league bruv."
I think with Nate taking over West Ham United in the series and it being owned by Rebecca's ex, if the real West Ham United comes to play in the states, they are going to be treated like Yankees at Fenway or the Cowboys in Philadelphia. Way to go Jason, you managed to turn all of the US against a EPL team that 99 percent of America doesn't know about!
But as much as they closed doors on storylines, they've set other ones up and can't wait to see what they do for season 3!
Ted Lasso: Midnight Train to Royston (2021)
The Empire Strikes Ted Lasso
After watching this episode, it gave me the same feeling as when I was 10 after seeing Empire for the first time. A sense of uneasiness, that everything that I thought was rock solid about the show
I have a feeling that the people are going to say that this entire power play by Nate is coming from out of the blue, but it isn't. Starting with the Wonder Kid bit from season 1, to the way he's been treating Will Kitman (besides the 'get it' he's the new lockerroom attendant). The fact he made a move on Keely and then feeding a story to Trent Crimm.
But stepping back from the Nate being a wannabe Palpatine storyline, you have this episode that starts out so happy. Keely being given an expose in Vanity Fair, to Ted setting up a surprise goodbye for Dr. Sharon. I mean seriously it's like the happiest show on Earth like it has always been.
And then by the end, you realize the Roy and Keely are in trouble, Rebecca is still lost when it comes to Sam, Sam may be moving to Morocco (I'm sorry, I don't agree with Edwin Akufo being a "villian" in any sense of the word), and Ted having to deal with Nate utterly destroying the trust he had with Ted (and soon to be found out with Nate). Those same dark clouds, that impending sense of doom that just about everyone had at the end of Empire Strikes Back.
Bravo to Hunt, Sudeikis, Lawerence, and Kelly for a genius episode.
Ted Lasso: Man City (2021)
Crying at the end of this episode isn't optional...it's mandatory
I started late on this series, but I'm glad I'm caught up on it, and this episode was just so brilliant.
For me the real brilliance of this episode is the growth of Jamie in the episode. He's always admitted his father is less than desirable, but he never really understood those words. Starting with Sam's phone call where he hears Same's dad tell Sam he is proud of him a fuse gets lit in this episode which is played against the text that Jaime gets from his dad who's only concerned about the Wembley tickets (and if you remember season 1 how Jaime was getting berated by his father after beating AFC Richmond to send them to relegation). Ending up with the post match scene, obviously Richmond is down in the dumps after getting drubbed by Man City, and it's Jaime's dad. Not only is he insulting his son's play and the play of AFC Richmond, he's wanting to trade off his son's fame to get him and his friend's past security so they can go on the pitch, no words of condolence, no words saying how proud he is of him (unlike Sam's dad earlier in the episode). At this point you see Jaime react the way you've been hoping that he would with his father, and then Roy just stepping up, finally getting an idea of what Jaime had to deal with, giving Jaime the one thing he's always needed with that bloody hug and as soon as Jaime starts sobbing, it's waterworks at that point.
The few points of humor were not that much in this episode, but were organic and so brilliantly added to the interweaving storylines of Jaime's growth, Roy's journey from footballer to something greater, Ted admitting that his dad committed suicide, and Rebecca-Sam getting together. If there is a dry eye in the house, it must be a slow day in Hades.
Cinderella (2021)
When you force a square peg into a round hole.
I wanted to love this move, I like musicals. And really what I think it comes down to is Camila Cabello's vocals. Seriously, I think if she actually concentrates on acting, she could be a heck of an actress. She has a natural delivery, she pops from the screen and you really want to love her character. But then the singing kicks in, and yes, she is a pop vocalist, and like most pop vocalists, she is way overproduced and it stands out here (and not in a good way). You figure in a movie that has Billy Porter, Idina Menzel, and Nicholas Galitzine you would want your star, your headliner, to sing at the same level they do, and this is where the movie falls flat for me.
I like the things they play with in terms of the Cinderella story, the fact that Pierce Brosnan pokes fun at himself. There's James Corden, but I'm not a fan of his, I don't see why he moved beyond horrid Z-list British movies.
A lot of people came in thinking this was somehow supposed to be a life changing movie, or some type of retelling that would make them rethink the the meaning of the universe, it isn't trying to do that. It's made for the tween and early teen set and expecting any more out of it is a fools errand.
The set pieces are beautiful, the choreography and cinematography are solid 8s if not 9s. The story overall is a 6, musical numbers are a 5, and like I said Ms. Cabello falls short, not really as an actress, but as a singer and that drags this movie down a middling 6 for me.
Lucifer: Partners 'Til the End (2021)
Oh My Devil
Now this is how you end a series. None of this Dexter disappearing in a storm at sea and ending up in as a lumberjack stuff. Not the Sopranos just going black when they all get to the diner.
But watching the season unfold, and then going through the various happy denouements (even though I wished they would have a Ella/Ray-Ray talk which would have been great during Save the Devil, Save the World). But everything, coming together.... Dan getting to spend eternity with Charlotte and his beloved pudding cups, Maze and Eve being the kick ass bounty hunters, Amenadiel's rise to the throne and that Charlie is going to be an angel to the homecoming of Rory, finishing up with her getting closure and understanding what Chloe went through and why she went through it. All of it beautiful, all if it designed to put a smile on your face.
Then there is Chloe's death, and Amenadiel asking if she's ready to go home and the build using Black Parade.
Henderson and Modrovitch banged this finale script out of the ball park.
Reminiscence (2021)
Whoever Greenlit this...whatever it is needs to be fired.
So take a flooded out city (reminiscent of 1992's Split Second), throw in some nebulous future tech that allows us to perfectly remember moments in time and add in the hideous chud of a lovechild of Mickey Spillane and Johnny Mnemonic fan fiction with teenage angst portrayed by the AARP set and you get Reminiscence.
So you have Hugh Jackman as Nick Bannister, war veteran, running his own business helping people relieve memories with some sidework for the government, and he falls for a girl named Mae who disappears one day.
So in a story with enough twists to leave M. Night Shyamalan an permanent onanistic state we watch the story for lack of a better word unfold and it hurts so much to suffer through it.
By the end we find out that Mae had killed herself to make sure she could finish her character arc from con artist/junkie to mother/ideal woman, Thandiwe Newton's talents are completely wasted by turning her into the girl that always loved Nick but couldn't, everyone who is a bad guy has been killed or was too afraid to kill themselves, and our beloved Nick was allowed to slip into a permanent coma to live out his fantasy life with Mae.
Lisa Joy has done some amazing writing in the past between Westworld, Burn Notice, and Pushing Daisies but this movie is like every horrid trope pushed into 2 hours of screen time and Hugh got enough deus ex machinas in this film that he receives no more for the rest of his acting career.
But end of the day, it really just felt like Hugh, Rebecca and Thandiwe were just there to pick up a pay check.
I was going to give the movie 4 out of 10, but even the cinematography is just...bleh. Even for those that don't like the plot of Blade Runner they at least admit the cinematography of the film, the designs of the sets were memorable. So at the end I gave it 2 out 10 stars.
F9 (2021)
This was a rough one to watch.
I really, really, really wanted to love this movie, I'm all for bigger, more stupid, more unhinged from reality, but they screwed up in so many ways with this one.
I'm sorry, but Jakob Torretto is a roided out Cousin Oliver, and the back and forth with Dom....bleh...
Am I happy that Han makes his return? YES! , but why show that in the previews? That could have been a great surprise to find in the movie and makes his hero shot that much better. On that note, I still want them to bring back Gisele, find a way to make it happen Vin and Justin.
I think this movie would have been bettered serviced by having Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) in it, at least then Cousin Oliver doesn't seem so shoe-horned in to the franchise (no offense Kurt Russell). So in F10, figure it out, get over your egos, get Hobbs back in with the family.
I guess my biggest issue is the the lack of stakes in the movie. Which was one of the hallmarks of the franchise. They've always been a bit ham-fisted in laying the stakes out, but this was a different level, like trying teach a monkey to type. The stunts were just there, they weren't really servicing the story like they had in the past (yes even the sub chase in F8 felt like greater stakes than anything in this movie). The stunt scenes look impressive from a 10,000 foot view, but with a lack of stakes, they are just there, especially the bungie jumping the car scene.
All in all, I really wanted to love this film for all the insanity it brings to the screen, but that lack of stakes pulls this movie down from a solid 8 to a pathetic 3 stars in my book.
Cobra Kai: December 19 (2021)
10 out of 10 does not do this season justice.
Trying to write this without giving away any spoilers......but OMG.Hurwitz and Schlossberg....they took what was a 10, cranked it up to 100 and then said, "Hey this isn't enough, time to take this old tin can to 1000" and they hit that number and more by the time you get to the last scene of episode 10. Talk about setting Season 4 up to be EPIC it was done in spades.
But for all the greatness that was in Season 3, the dumping of Nichole Brown (aka Aisha) rather unceremoniously hurts. There is the representational aspect to her character, but darn it, Aisha was someone that you naturally cheered for. Hurwitz and Schlossman, there are a lot of us fans that want to have Aisha back in, instead of the fate you've saddled her with.
The amount of growth they've written in for all the kids is just off the walls amazing. Giving these actors a chance to chew some pretty hefty emotional scenery and watching them not just act, but inhabit the roles which is amazing given the relatively young ages of the cast members (Mary Mouser is the oldest at 24).
And the old fogies of the film, they prove you can teach old dogs new tricks. If you teach a class on how to storyline a season, this should be the model for those film students and screen writers how to build a season and not over look the little tings.
The Binge (2020)
It's a sneaky good spoof film if you're paying the least bit attention.
Okay, so this isn't a straight up spoof of The Purge movies, and thankfully it isn't. There are loving spoofs to The Purge, Falling Down, Disney Musicals, Pulp Fiction, Scarface, Cheech and Chong, The Usual Suspects, and one that kind made me think of The Deer Hunter meets Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle. Which is the sign of a good spoof movie, not the pablum dreck that has been called a spoof movie in the last 20 years (Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, etc).
Does it have it's issues? Of course it does, but I don't think the issues are really so huge as for people to crap all over it with the ratings driving it down to 4.4. Skyler Gisondo, Dexter Darden and Eduardo Franco bring the right amount of teen nerdiness to the party, Vince Vaughn as Principal Carlsen is hilarious. Do I wish they would have had a bit more character development for Grace Van Dien's character, yeah, I think it would have made the end result between her character and Skyler's a bit more satisfying but it wasn't horrid.
As for the spoofs.....just so people don't think I was doing as much drugs....here goes.
1. The Purge - Obviously the voice over about all alcohol and narcotics being legal along with all the accompanying video creating the main conceit of a 12 hour period where are all alcohol and narcotics are legal..
2. Falling Down - This is the Principal Carlsen arc, but he ends up at a house getting naked, then beating up teens for their drugs while still talking like he is occupying a moral high ground all while looking for his daughter.
3. Disney musicals - A huge musical number about 80 percent through with a brilliant song about going on a bender.
4. Pulp Fiction - When they bring the cow back from the dead with an injection.
5. Cheech and Chong, well more specifically when they are sucking down on a PCP laced spliff, just everything about that scene was a pick your favorite Cheech and Chong movie.
6. Scarface - the end, especially Dexter's monologue.....priceless!!!!
7. The Deer Hunter meets Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle - In some taco place where the tacos are filled with Magic Mushrooms with a crowd gathered around and cheering them on.
I know there are other scenes that I couldn't place the movie they were spoofing, but isn't that the point? To actually spoof something you love instead of just throwing a random thought in there because it's part of the zeitgeist?Not an All Time Great but it does have some sneaky brilliance to it.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Don't listen to the haters out here trashing the film.
First of all, it's a Bill & Ted movie, so you're not going to get an Oscar caliber story or performances, but you will get a movie with some laughs and a ton of heart. Which is really what the planet as a whole needs right now, so please try to be excellent to the haters of this erstwhile film.
So the story opens up and you have a recap of the last 25 years of Wyld Stallyns history and it has not been kind with each successive album until they are stuck playing some dingy hotel in San Dimas. Then we fast forward to a wedding, and as a present to Missy who is marrying Ted's brother Deacon this time around, yeah, I'll let you sort out how each person is related to themselves at this point. But they offer a song that is in three parts with an insanely long title, driving home that Bill & Ted have lost their way and with it, Ted's father puts a kabosh on the show and tells Ted all the stuff he's said in previous movies. This is also our first introductions to Billie and Thea, who have the same lost looks as their fathers.
So far, so good, we know Bill and Ted haven't changed that much, and Ted's dad hasn't changed at all and the princesses Elizabeth and Joanna are still in the fold though played by different actresses, (I can understand not being able to get Kimberly Kates because she is running a production company, but why not get Diane Franklin to come back as Princess Elizabeth???). So now we can begin our adventures.
After leaving their wives at couples therapy, Bill and Ted get home, and Ted starts doubting his musical ability once again, and Bill ever being the optimist tries to buck his old friend up once again before they practice. Enter Kelly, the daughter of Rufus into the equation and she takes them back to future San Dimas, this time no Clarence Clemons (RIP), but they are put in front of a wall of guitars and told they have 79 minutes not to just unite the world but save reality as we know it. So of course Bill & Ted have the most excellent Bill & Ted idea of taking the song from their future selves.
Bill and Ted leaving with Kelly, Billie and Thea see this and think their dads are in trouble. Kelly later returns, the girl's take her ship on a quest to get the greatest back up band ever.
So you have two stories going on at this point, some people don't like the Billie and Thea, but I think that is actually the stronger of the two storylines because their fathers put into them a love of music, so much so they breath the history of music from 11500 BCE to today. They even get Bill & Ted to make up with Death by the time it's all said and done.
While Billie and Thea are out on their quest, Bill & Ted are out meeting their future selves and they find out that their future selves from 2, 5, and 10 years in the future are not excellent, in fact they are most unexcellent.
Eventually everyone gets back to present day San Dimas and then the point is driven home, this is a story about family, it's a story about parents not needing to overshadow their children and if you trust your kids they are going to surprise you.
Throw in Anthony Carrigan as a robot that develops a conscious, hey, I'm in on this movie 1000 percent.
Is it a 10/10? For me, no, but I have an insane bar that movies have to clear for 10/10, but given the source material of the other two movies, Chris Harrison and Ed Solomon stayed true to the DNA of what made the first two movies such great movies in the first place.
So be excellent to each other, order it on PPV or go to a theater if you have one that is showing it and remember to party on dudes!!!!
Yesterday (2019)
A plucky little film that punches above its weight class
So reading through the reviews....I'm sorting out that the majority of blokes that gave this movie 1 or 2 stars are the sames ones that probably angry the lead is dare I say it.....a Pakistani!!!!!
As for the film itself, is it a Citizen Kane? Trainspotting? Gone With the Wind? Nope, doesn't bother to try to either. Is it a Bridget Jones' Diary or Notting Hill? Thank the gods no it isn't.
You have a perfectly average will they/won't they rom-com, that takes a twist (what if no had heard of The Beatles), and you have a movie that admirably punches above its weight class and does so in the most wonderful way possible.
Seeing Jack struggle, and as someone with a few friends that are grinders in the music industry, I've seen that pain of doing a show and a) only your friends show up or b) the people that are there aren't even listening to what you're playing. The point is really driven home when Jack goes on his Beatles songwriting binge and is on his way to his first gig and his parents ask him to play one of the new songs, then keep interrupting him as he's starting to play what I think is the most seminal of The Beatles hits, Let It Be.
And I'm sorry, I could feel that tension between Lucy and Jack throughout the film, a couple of times Danny has to hit the audience over the head with it so people aren't whining, "This is supposed to be a Beatles movie!!!"
For myself, Himel drove the spike in and nailed this movie perfectly as a rom-com with the Pier Hotel concert and the first song out was Help! and it was the perfect combination of heartbreak and energy with the way he was screaming the lyrics not as much singing. Felt like the way that song should have been sung, especially if Joe Strummer ever got his hands on the song.
You have a couple of through lines with Ed Sheeran, dropping the line about becoming Salieri was just brilliant. And then Kate McKinnon is a perfect stereotype for a producer but then takes it so over the top, especially at the end with her "Stop in the name of money!" line.
Could it have been better? Yeah the pacing at times leaves much to be desired, sometimes Ellie comes off a bit one-dimensional, but overall, I'm giving this movie 8 out of 10 stars.
Not standard Danny Boyle, but he does service to the movie instead of his personal tropes.
Harley Quinn (2019)
An Open plea to Ann Sarnoff
Ann, seriously, just go and use the scripts from WB Animation that you have and get the writers of Harley Quinn to write the next Harley Quinn movie. They would a shot of adreneline, humor, and intelligence to the DCEU that outside of Wonder Woman is sorely missing. To hell with the Snyder cut of Justice League. They could pace out the stories and you could actually put Marvel back in its place (the MCU fanboys are at that annoying critical mass).
Against expectations, they have taken Harley, have really made her 3 dimensional, surrounded her with supporting characters that can stand on their own but help tell her story. The criminals aren't as criminal as maybe some of the idiots want them to be and the heroes aren't as heroic as one would expect them to be.
As much as I love the fatalistic nihilism of the king of the WB mountain, Rick and Morty, it will never be something that can be translated to the big screen (and it shouldn't be in my opinion). But this iteration of Harley Quinn, you could turn it live action and you'd be telling Deadpool and Logan, to quote Ivy, "ess my vee".
If you haven't watched it, sign up for DC Universe, and don't try to act unsuprised when you find out Harley Quinn is one of the most brilliant, risk taking shows on any streaming service today.
Future Man (2017)
Best new comedy of the year
Now this was an especially strong year for television, even spin-offs were great (Young Sheldon). But for my money, this has to be the funniest comedy to come down the pike this year. I think after this Josh Hutcherson may just be the guy that is always cast in the nervous "What the hell am I doing here?" role. But for me, the big winner in this debut season besides us that like to watch TV is Derek Wilson aka Wolf aka Cory Wolf Hart, he is so utterly amped up, especially when he becomes a coke addict, blowing coke up his own ass, it's vulgar, but it is probably the most nuanced joke/social critique I've seen ever.
Not to take anything away from Eliza Coupe. I think her naturally hardened edge when delivering lines works amazingly well as Tiger, especially when the entire concept of a baby eludes her initially and she scares the bejeesus out of some new mother in 1969, and her softening about killing a child when she travels back in time to kill an infant Elias Kronish.
Finally, the supporting cast is amazing, Ed Begely Jr and the late Glenne Headly as Josh's hippy-dippy if slightly racist parents to Keith David as Dr. Elias Kronish, Haley Joel Osment as Dr. Stu and Robert Craighead as Det. Skaarsgard all help ground it and make it a bit absurdist all at the same time.
Seriously, spend a Saturday watching this series, you won't be disappointed.
The Pet (2006)
Oh Dear Mother of God, I will watch 50 Shades instead of watching this again
I really will watch 50 Shades of Gray, Dark, Free and Black on a continuous loop instead of watching this ever, ever, ever again. There is so much wrong here. Acting so stiff that it makes Hayden Christensen seem like Tom Hanks. A script so badly written that it reads like the abortion of a one-night stand between EL James, M. Night Shyamalan and Vincent Gallo. Camera work that makes Uwe Boll seem like Igmar Bergman.
I should have known I was in for a stinker when I see that the writer/director just uses a first initial. Makes sense, if I was attached to this, I would want to hide it as much as possible also. But D. Stevens, you wrote this steaming pile of manure, sack up and OWN it.
So in short, this is a story about a boy that loses his dog and then thinks to himself, "Hey if I did it so well with a dog, why not a human being?"
And yes kids, there are people that crave that type of objectification. However, you don't see anyone really make this type of leap of logic unless their names are Ed Gein or Jeffrey Dahmer.
Enter Sammy Jr showing off a girl in a cage to the aforementioned boy, but surprise, surprise the girl has more tracks on her arm than a train yard. But he wants a girl that isn't a junkie (in all fairness who doesn't). So then Sammy sends the boy a picture of a girl, and she's PERFECT.
So our lonely boy Philip meets our girl Mary at her flower stand and Mary has had a very bad day. Cat died, boyfriend beat the cat, and she's got an eviction notice, basically her life sucks without the drugs.
So Phil, I think Phil is a better name for this guy, bails her out with 10k out of his back pocket (well with a cashier's check), plus an extra 500 just for taking her to dinner and invites her to his place to bury her dead cat. If he was going to go through all the trouble of digging a grave and getting a kitty coffin for a cat he didn't even own, then why couldn't he spring for a black gospel choir singing Amazing Grace?
Fast forward through her 3 day training montage, and then they go up to Utah so Mary can have the doggie Olympics against Taps (don't worry the film does a crapalicious job of explaining it), where you find out that Phil is part of a human trafficking network and Mary (having been renamed to GG by Phil) is a universal donor that would bring good money on the market.
Somehow Phil loses his proof of ownership to GG and his buddy that owns Taps picks up the proof and sells GG off.
Seriously, it's so stupid at this point, you really want to scratch your eyes out. I pray to God that D. Stevens is never, ever given the reins to a film or writes another screenplay again, seriously, if he does, it will be considered a crime against humanity and we will need to lock his entire family up for the good of the human race.