Film editing-and especially for horror-is vastly underrated. Really, no slasher-type horror should ever go past, say, 95 minutes...and this one goes on for a 1 hr 20 min, which caused it to lose momentum several times throughout the story. I would probably give this movie a 6, but when I saw that it was filmed in 17 days...dude-respect. That deserves at least an extra point.
Reviews
9 Reviews
Pretty Persuasion
(2005)
Nowhere near Heathers or Election
9 May 2019
...and that is the comparison I keep reading. Unlike Pretty Persuasion, those were sharply funny, well-written, *interesting* satires with bold social commentary; this movie is none of these things. Excepting for Wood's role, there was zero character development; they were merely one-dimensional, papier-mâché foils. The dark humor is non-existent-pointless bigotry without context is just...pointless bigotry...and social satire is my favorite form of humor, the darker the better...as long as it's not pointless and, you know, not funny.
Even Rachel Evan Wood is a disappointment here and not at all convincing. The viewer is supposed to believe that she is a genius manipulator, when she has the outer warmth and cold dead eyes of a pit viper. She couldn't manipulate a toddler. The rest is the time she mechanically voiced the too-clever-by-half dialogue as if she was as unimpressed as I was.
Don't get me wrong-I get what they were trying to do and I wasn't offended...but they failed-badly-and instead of offended or even once amused, I was really sort of bored.
Even Rachel Evan Wood is a disappointment here and not at all convincing. The viewer is supposed to believe that she is a genius manipulator, when she has the outer warmth and cold dead eyes of a pit viper. She couldn't manipulate a toddler. The rest is the time she mechanically voiced the too-clever-by-half dialogue as if she was as unimpressed as I was.
Don't get me wrong-I get what they were trying to do and I wasn't offended...but they failed-badly-and instead of offended or even once amused, I was really sort of bored.
Dabbe: The Possession
(2013)
Wow. Wasn't expecting that
22 April 2019
-It's too long
-It can seem overwrought, though that might from and American POV. .
-The plot is convoluted and can sometimes be difficult to follow.
-I'll never watch the ending again.
It is also the first film to scare the utter crap out of me in a long, long time.
It is also the first film to scare the utter crap out of me in a long, long time.
The Book of Birdie
(2017)
Dark psychological drama
22 April 2019
I don't think it is quite appropriate to label this as horror and not just because it doesn't follow the whole jump-scare-gore template. However, it is a well-made, skillfully acted and starkly beautiful film and I was enraptured from the beginning. The major fault lies in this: there is a fine line between enigmatic and confusing; unfortunately, director Elizabeth Schuch occasionally veers across that line. I would've given this at least another star had I not felt vaguely dissatisfied at the end.
Still, it is a beautiful, thoughtful film and I'm very glad to have watched it. I think if it were reclassified, a more suited audience would better appreciate it. Look forward to Schuch's next offering.
Still, it is a beautiful, thoughtful film and I'm very glad to have watched it. I think if it were reclassified, a more suited audience would better appreciate it. Look forward to Schuch's next offering.
Blame
(I) (2017)
A better than average Lifetime movie; mild spoilers
19 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Not being snarky here; except for a few Eff-words, this could easily have been tailored for bored soccer moms. The acting was better than average, the chemistry was good, but there were a lot of huge eye-rolls, too. No way is a cheerleader going to homecoming in freaking leather bondage gear and publicly rub up against two boys; it also made the big REVEAL not exactly a revelation. Not judging; just saying it is farcically unrealistic.
Still, for a first-time effort by a 22-year one, it shows promise. Maybe her work will mature along with screenwriter/lead actress.
Still, for a first-time effort by a 22-year one, it shows promise. Maybe her work will mature along with screenwriter/lead actress.
Last Shift
(I) (2014)
Not even a strong performance can save a ridiculous premise
27 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Okay...think about it:
A rookie cop is being tasked with guarding a full-size, entirely empty precinct...where the people who murdered her father only a year prior and who hanged themselves in the very same cells...completely alone...overnight...on her very first day?
Really??
Still not ludicrous enough for you? How about nobody checking on her when 1) she keeps reporting impossible phone calls and 2) she actually tells her superior that she's *seeing things*? Again...on her very first night.
Usually, when a movie disappoints me it is because the plot does not live up to an interesting premise; this one didn't work because the premise in and of itself was so spectacularly stupid that it's impossible to suspend that much disbelief. Worse, it is completely without any self-awareness and absolutely devoid of humor. If you want to ask your viewer to accept the impossible, the least you can do is offer a nudge-nudge here and there so they can be in on the joke.
And it wouldn't even be hard to fix-have her on the job a few months and her partner calls in sick, maybe. Allow ten years to pass since her father's murder instead of one. Giventhe main Big Bad a few darkly funny lines. Something. Anything would help.
Such a shame, really-there are some legit scares to be found and Juliana Harkavy delivers a strong performance, but freaking Meryl Streep could not make up for such a paper-thin plot. Hopefully, future casting directors can judge Harkavy's talent outside the context of this almost insultingly stupid script.
A rookie cop is being tasked with guarding a full-size, entirely empty precinct...where the people who murdered her father only a year prior and who hanged themselves in the very same cells...completely alone...overnight...on her very first day?
Really??
Still not ludicrous enough for you? How about nobody checking on her when 1) she keeps reporting impossible phone calls and 2) she actually tells her superior that she's *seeing things*? Again...on her very first night.
Usually, when a movie disappoints me it is because the plot does not live up to an interesting premise; this one didn't work because the premise in and of itself was so spectacularly stupid that it's impossible to suspend that much disbelief. Worse, it is completely without any self-awareness and absolutely devoid of humor. If you want to ask your viewer to accept the impossible, the least you can do is offer a nudge-nudge here and there so they can be in on the joke.
And it wouldn't even be hard to fix-have her on the job a few months and her partner calls in sick, maybe. Allow ten years to pass since her father's murder instead of one. Giventhe main Big Bad a few darkly funny lines. Something. Anything would help.
Such a shame, really-there are some legit scares to be found and Juliana Harkavy delivers a strong performance, but freaking Meryl Streep could not make up for such a paper-thin plot. Hopefully, future casting directors can judge Harkavy's talent outside the context of this almost insultingly stupid script.
Fragile
(2005)
A perfect yoga movie
21 March 2019
I've developed a habit of watching horror while doing yoga so it will distract me from boredom and the fact that I am contorting myself into unnatural positions. Obviously, I can't watch foreign films and it's too difficult to follow well-developed films and too distracting to watch a visually arresting film. The perfect horror for yoga is one like this-mildly interesting, about a shade above TV quality without being too interesting or scary...which can be dangerous.
This one fit the bill nicely.
This one fit the bill nicely.
The Pact
(II) (2012)
I am done with IMDB ratings...
20 February 2019
...at least for horror. Half of the reviews on here are written by juvenile gorehounds who consider any horror which isn't dripping in viscera, hammer-in-the-face obvious, has 50 cheap jump-scares and is completely plot driven as booooorrrrriinnnggg. They care nothing about well-developed characters you actually care enough to want them to live, originality, quality acting, or assuming the viewer has an IQ above room temperature and not having to spell everything out at the end (see: hammer-in-the-face obvious).
Another disturbing trend I've noticed is that any woman-centric horror is rated lower here than other sites like Rotten Tomatoes and, you know, REAL reviewers. A perfect example is The Witch: 6.8 (and full of "it's booorrrrrinnnng" whiny reviews) versus 91% from Rotten Tomatoes and almost uniform praise amongst the major critics. The same can be said for this movie, Lovely Molly, The Blackcoat's Daughter-which took me forever to watch because of the much-lower ratings here-and that's just off the top of my head. Apparently, a lot of gorehounds believe that the only place for women in horror is sex, serial killer chum (so there can be ridiculous "cool kills"), or obligatory final girl. *Maybe*.
For all the other horror fans out there who appreciate low-tech, genuinely scary, suspenseful slow burn horror featuring a strong, interesting woman lead, definitely check this out. For the rest of you-there is minimum gore, no CGI, no nudity, no stupid jump-scares, with an ending that isn't spelled out like the end of every idiot Saw movie and worried that a fully-dressed, talented, strong female lead might give you celluloid cooties...
This is boooorrrriiinnng. Go watch The Bye-Bye Man or Jason versus Jesus or something.
Another disturbing trend I've noticed is that any woman-centric horror is rated lower here than other sites like Rotten Tomatoes and, you know, REAL reviewers. A perfect example is The Witch: 6.8 (and full of "it's booorrrrrinnnng" whiny reviews) versus 91% from Rotten Tomatoes and almost uniform praise amongst the major critics. The same can be said for this movie, Lovely Molly, The Blackcoat's Daughter-which took me forever to watch because of the much-lower ratings here-and that's just off the top of my head. Apparently, a lot of gorehounds believe that the only place for women in horror is sex, serial killer chum (so there can be ridiculous "cool kills"), or obligatory final girl. *Maybe*.
For all the other horror fans out there who appreciate low-tech, genuinely scary, suspenseful slow burn horror featuring a strong, interesting woman lead, definitely check this out. For the rest of you-there is minimum gore, no CGI, no nudity, no stupid jump-scares, with an ending that isn't spelled out like the end of every idiot Saw movie and worried that a fully-dressed, talented, strong female lead might give you celluloid cooties...
This is boooorrrriiinnng. Go watch The Bye-Bye Man or Jason versus Jesus or something.
Dark Touch
(2013)
Do not watch if you need every single detail constantly spelled out
28 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I'm very disappointed--yet not surprised--by so many of these bad reviews. Increasingly, American viewers (and I'm saying this as an American) prefer to shelve their heads during a movie and mentally coast, too impatient to analyze subtext, allegory and unpleasant truths. However--and this is as generous as I can be towards the "it was stupid, it was boring, too slow, nothing happens, etc etc" simplistic complaints I've read--this movie confronts a brutal reality that is understandably difficult for many people to face: the physical and sexual abuse of children.
And, while I loathe the term, "trigger", I recognize that this movie might be traumatic for people who survived that sort of brutality...or, you may (as I did) appreciate a film which was directed by a person brave enough to expose this ugliness...without being exploitative.
While there are plenty violent scenes for those who prefer exploding heads and simpleminded slasher morality, this film is probably too nuanced and complex for the disheartening puerile tastes of American audiences, who seem to expect an evisceration within five minutes of the opening credits.
Is it a perfect film? No. I agree that the ending is a bit maddening, but--and I don't believe in spoilers--the ending is NOT a mystery. There are subtle hints throughout the film that not is all as it seems with those who seem, on the surface, to be benevolent, helpful figures. Still, if the viewer will simply pay attention to the actions and reactions of Niamh to the adults surrounding her, the ending is fairly clearcut...albeit, not hammered into your skull with a sledgehammer.
If you want straight-up, scare-jumps--and I love horror, just not unoriginal torture porn or one-dimensional characters whom serve no purpose other than to be slasher-chum--then watch Babadook or The Exorcist; but if you want to watch a dark, bleak, unflinchingly honest film--which uses supernatural elements as an allegory for the hidden horrors of a child permanently damaged resulting from horrifying but hushed violence--then Dark Touch is a very good, in spite of its minor flaws..
In other word, if you need every single element of a movie explained so that a toddler would understand, then don't sprain your brain--stick to Freddy Krueger versus God or whatever...however, if you are a horror fan who craves originality, complex characters and, you know, an actual PLOT, then I highly recommend Dark Touch.
And, while I loathe the term, "trigger", I recognize that this movie might be traumatic for people who survived that sort of brutality...or, you may (as I did) appreciate a film which was directed by a person brave enough to expose this ugliness...without being exploitative.
While there are plenty violent scenes for those who prefer exploding heads and simpleminded slasher morality, this film is probably too nuanced and complex for the disheartening puerile tastes of American audiences, who seem to expect an evisceration within five minutes of the opening credits.
Is it a perfect film? No. I agree that the ending is a bit maddening, but--and I don't believe in spoilers--the ending is NOT a mystery. There are subtle hints throughout the film that not is all as it seems with those who seem, on the surface, to be benevolent, helpful figures. Still, if the viewer will simply pay attention to the actions and reactions of Niamh to the adults surrounding her, the ending is fairly clearcut...albeit, not hammered into your skull with a sledgehammer.
If you want straight-up, scare-jumps--and I love horror, just not unoriginal torture porn or one-dimensional characters whom serve no purpose other than to be slasher-chum--then watch Babadook or The Exorcist; but if you want to watch a dark, bleak, unflinchingly honest film--which uses supernatural elements as an allegory for the hidden horrors of a child permanently damaged resulting from horrifying but hushed violence--then Dark Touch is a very good, in spite of its minor flaws..
In other word, if you need every single element of a movie explained so that a toddler would understand, then don't sprain your brain--stick to Freddy Krueger versus God or whatever...however, if you are a horror fan who craves originality, complex characters and, you know, an actual PLOT, then I highly recommend Dark Touch.
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