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Reviews
Highlander: The Source (2007)
If you don't have the budget to do it right then DON'T DO IT
For anyone who is a fan of the movies or series, this film is a blend of the worst of both. Take the really awful episodes of highlander and mix them with the terrible movies like highlander 2 and 3... and 4 = what were you thinking? Its like a fan film that has nothing to do with the beauty of the original film and the t.v. series which produced great entertainment. I have little doubt the director watched every bit of the highlander franchise and good for him. Sadly he took bits and pieces from everywhere (along with other films) and just mashed it altogether. Rubbish. Acting is terrible, the effects are terrible, the story is terrible... And why does every bad immortal in the series have to do that tongue lick? What a waste of a film.
Nemesis 4: Death Angel (1996)
Death angel indeed...
Anyone who has seen this film will surely not give it 9 out of 10 or even 3 out of 10 lest large amounts of liquor mixed with unleaded gasoline are involved. We as viewers are subjected to empty scenes filled with not only bad direction, but terrible dialog all set in a landscape that almost has nothing to do with the past films in this series. It's hard to find a place to start with such a terrible film, so let's go with the lead actress Sue Price. Though her acting has improved from the previous films (due to large part of her being voiced over) she still looks like she has nothing better to do then pace around in a scene to waste film and expand the films running time. Now, I will be the first to say that she has wonderful muscular body which I am sure took years of passion and hard work to achieve, but that is not enough criteria for her to be placed into a film wearing a white ala Marilyn Monroe dress and made to walk around the ghettos of Bulgaria. In her past incarnations of this character she was placed in South Africa, which in some strange way was at least passable on screen even if the story and direction was so bad that Roger Corman would look at it and say, WTF. We began with a tribal African warrior, genetic mutant chic from the future to a neo-German trash naked killer who likes to liftweights in the film because it helps her think. Beyond the crap setting of the film and ridiculous makeup, along with horrible special effects (what little there were) there is huge amount of nudity. Okay, Sue Price has an impressive body but I don't want to see it every other scene, or for that fact ever. There is a thick line between sexy innuendos in a movie to blatant nudity for no reason what so ever. One scene actually has our heroine strip from head to toe right before she knocks out another bad guy. Once he has been incapacitated she stands above him naked, get this - lifting weights!?! This is not art; it's an attempt to show skin for the foreign fetish market. I don't even want to mention how she has needles that come out from his chest to finish off her victim. (I thought she wasn't a cyborg to begin with?) Whatever lost clever moments that might have had a chance from Nemesis 2 and 3 are replaced with quickly filmed garbage, with a script that from what I can tell was written on a cocktail napkin, vomited on and then given to the actors to read as the scene was being filmed. This film couldn't float on water even if they were made of air. One line states "do you hear angels crying?" I would say no, but there is no question they are laughing.
Hong Kong 97 (1994)
not as bad as you may think.
This film is not an academy award winning film, but I am tired of people putting it down such as other films by Robert Patrick. I rented this when it first came out and I did not think much of it, along with Decoy and other Patrick films before his x-files years. Yet what I have come to realize is that these films capture a time and feeling which we just don't see anymore. B-films have become no-talent video filmed crap movies that are as bad as anything you might have seen on MST3K more then a decade ago. Looking back on these films such as Hong Kong 97 makes me wish that independent film companies still gave financial backing to these visions. Is this movie bad? No! Can it be better? Yes. Is it worth watching? Certainly!
Fei fu hung si (2002)
the ? option
Not to sure what is going on with this movie. Michael Wong speaks English most of the time while the Hong Kong actors just smile and respond in Cantonese, giving the impression they don't know what the hell he is talking about. At the start of the movie we see members of the SDU unit just mumbling with a smile (more like a laugh) while Michael Wong keeps chanting as if he was a commander of swat in Los Angeles. The whole plot is really thin and it does not follow through as the movie plays out. Frankly, at the end I still did not know who the bad guys were or how it all played together. I did see a lot of running though
. I guess if you want to be a part of the SDU unit, you have to be a marathon runner. At least the ending gunfight is passable in an action sense; it just took to long to get there. If I had to guess, this movie was tossed together to make money off of the first option movie. In the end, it failed
Next (2007)
Why is this not doing well?.... oh yeah....
I will not go over the plot, which has been commented on by so many people already. The point is that this film is really not that bad, the script has some clever points and the idea (based on PKD)is passable for a Hollywood production. So what is bad? Location, Location, Location... and some pretty poor bad guys. We have our lead good guy fighting against the government who wants to stop a bomb from going off. Wow, those are some pretty evil fellas indeed. More then half the film is about Cage running from those who are trying to protect others, rather than from the bad guys of the week who are trying to set off a massive bomb to .... well... uh.... kill people. Now those guys are really evil. Seems like the point of the film is for Cage to keep outrunning everyone who wants him to comprise his precious life. If you and your family are about to be killed because of a nuke and there was a chance some Vegas magician would save you, I would personally strap him to a chair and make him see beyond two minutes in the future. As for the settings of the scenes, frankly they were all pretty boring. You go from Vegas into canyons and then back to the city. Every location, setting was just unimportant. I guess it looked better on paper then on screen. Cage is great, he has his way of acting which is always fun to watch, but I had the feeling that this entire production was rushed. I don't think "good acting" was as important as getting the film finished and in the can. Its sad really, this could have been another Minority Report, with style but without Tom Cruise.
Date Movie (2006)
why even bother
Why even bother making a film that is basically a spoof of "Scary Movie"? I really would have loved to see the producers meeting about this idea just so I could have counted the beer cans on the floor. Simply putting it this film is a parody of popular movies, social trends and headlines meshed together to make a comedy. Trouble is, and this is a big problem, none of it is funny. Bad direction, lazy editing, horrible cast... so on and so forth. As to how this film managed to pull in near 50 million is a mystery. There was no subtle humor, it was all overdone to the point were the viewer sits back and many points and just has to ask the question - "what the hell was that all about?" God help the men who actually used this movie as a "date movie", cause let me tell you... no one got lucky that night.