Reviews

Witty. Clever. Horribly Irreverent and Politically Incorrect. Amazing.

The Onion movie satirizes the modern world and paints comical pictures of human nature that both makes you think and entertains. In a world where comedic cinema delivers cheap laughs from untalented writers, the Onion delivers one heck of a wallop with its quality of production (great writing, good acting and direction). Without a doubt, it truly is the funniest movie that I have ever seen.

The movie itself is made up of seemingly random news casts interspersed between the life of The Onion's main newscaster fighting for "journalistic integrity" in a world where the news is treated like an entertainment show.

Note that the film contains harsh language, animated nudity, and stereotypes.

This is a comedy for people tired of the crap being ushered out by the "A ____ Movie" franchise and "National Lampoon's _______." 'The Love Guru' is a hilarious movie that packs fast-paced word play with witty references to Bollywood and pop culture. Classic Mike Meyers more in the style of "Wayne's World" than "Goldmember." You'll need the brain of an adult with the humor of a teen to understand this comedy.

The story itself is based upon a plot so basic with antics so silly nothing is to be taken seriously. This comedy is purely for entertainment sake - it is a pure comedy which doesn't lean on the formulaic entrapments of genre like 'Romantic Comedy' or 'Comedy-Drama'.

Again, - and I can not stress this enough - this movie isn't meant to tell a heart warming story that reaches into your heart while lightly tickling your funny bone. It is a 100% laugh-your-socks-off comedy.

Don't take it seriously, folks. And stop the hatin'.

This review is an attempt to explain some reasons why this movie is considered not one of Disney's greatest films.

In short, the art is beautiful in its own way and the voices aren't bad. But the lack of sound (background noises, music, sound effects, etc) except for in select parts where a musical number popped in was devastating to the mood of the picture.

Sound moves the film and at times it became boring, even when Eddie Murphy was blasting out some silliness that should have been entertaining.

Also the music numbers seemed uninspired and randomly placed. Instead of moving the picture and complimenting it, they seemed to be begrudgingly thrown in like tinsel on a Christmas tree- no one likes it, yet many just toss it on in a strange sense of obligation.

The art was definitely good and the animation fluid. Sometimes the backdrops were so simple that it almost felt like one was watching an animated storyboard instead of the final product.

Faced with the threat of jail, House succumbs to Dr. Cuddy's demands that he spend his days pulling Clinic duty where House then meets a young woman who will only reveal her problems to him. When the woman won't go away, House has no choice to but open up and face his own past demons and try to understand the world a little better. Meanwhile Cameron debates whether she should interfere with a dying man's will to die in pain.

This was a great episode. It was both deep (in a shallow, easy-answer Hollywood way) and revealing about House's character. Though some topics may be uncomfortable for people who have been abused.

Also it should be noted that the writer's give simple answers and flawed arguments using circular reasoning to define House's rationale that God is either evil, or does not exist. For some impressionable to such things, you are urged to search elsewhere (outside of a prime-time television writer's expertise).

First thing first- this game chugs on most machines like you wouldn't believe. We're talking Rambo pulling an army helicopter on a chain- it would obviously still go (hey it's Rambo) but it would really slow...

That being said; the story, the art, the style, the fighting and the gameplay are all superb. The game has multiple endings and several different ways to complete the game.

You start off choosing a race, much like an MMORPG. Race affects your starting abilities, as well as how you play the game. Some races are good with firearms and fist fighting, some are stealthy, some wield magic very well, and others have a silver tongue for smooth diplomacy. And, I don't mean the boring diplomacy where you roll a dice and hope your saving throw works- I mean a choose what to say in a dialogue based on your playing style and charisma and affect how the NPCs respond.

Because there are different playing styles and a horde of abilities, one can redo missions over and over with different results each time. However, that isn't so far as to say that each outcome is different. Let's face it, there are a hundred ways to skin a cat, but each time you are left with a sticky pile of fur.

The game is dark and yet romantic, stylized at it's very core. Sometimes it feels more like a Detective NOIR or a mob story then a typical Vampire.

Vampire: The Masquerade II: Bloodlines is really 50% First Person Shooter, 50% RPG, and 10% Adventure. Yes, the developer's gave this game 110% of effort. XD

Based on the excellent drama-horror book by Frank Peretti, this movie was more like a twisted, rewritten version done for film.

The story was reworked and exposition was changed, characters changed, until the master screenwriter came up with something more fitting for today's Hollywood- in other words the end results was cliché, badly cut, and dramatic in all the wrong places. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a B movie, it was better than most B movies I've seen. More like a B+ or an A-.

The editing and film style resemble a two hour long episode of CSI without the forensics- and CSI fans will notice that the cast is pretty much an entire ensemble of CSI extras.

In the end, its like they say, the book is always better. In this case the movie could have been just as good, but they decided to make it overly dramatic and hackneyed with little real character development and evolution.

Frank Peretti, I give you 2 thumbs up. Movie, you only get a tiny little knubby knuckle up.

Gangsters 2: Vendetta is a relatively simple story about a Gangster named Joey Bane who seeks revenge for the death of his father at the hands of another gangster. This is the start of your story.

The gameplay is similar to Command & Conquer, strangely enough. However, instead of "training" units, or in this case, gangsters to wage your war, you hire them by checking out ads in the local newspaper (I know, in the newspaper!) Take control of your enemy's buildings and set up illegal joints for gambling, printing presses, speakeasies, stills, breweries, brothels, and many, many more. Wage a war over the turf of the city to avenge the death of your father while protecting your business owners and gangsters.

Tools of the trade will include Tommy Guns, pistols, bombs, kidnapping, shotguns, hired assassins, bribery, cars of all sorts (drive-by shootings), and the like.

Overall its a pretty fun game. The AI has some problems but with the newest patches its not as bad. At times the gameplay can get monotonous as its pretty much the same thing level after level, only with more and more enemies to contend with. And, the voice acting is just terrible.

Its definitely worth the reduced price that you can find it for now.

In an island paradise archipelago full of brightly colored flora, vivacious inhabitants, countless villages, and even more vehicles to chose from than Burt Reynolds has wigs... this is the world of Just Cause.

You are placed in the footsteps of an agent working to overthrow a dictator in a fictional Latin country. Sounds good right? Not really...

The cast has about as much character depth as an Extra in a Paulie Shore film.

The game scripting is very buggy. Aiming is extremely difficult. The enemies can take a ridiculously large amount of bullets to the chest before they die. (example given- sniping a Boss character in the back, neck, etc takes health down but isn't an instant kill... the game is very arcade). The poor design allows AI that is so bad that, if you stand in the middle of an airport, you hear "Boom, boom, bang, boom" as the computer is much too stupid to fly, or land, any planes or helicopters- they just crash and immediately respawn above your head.

The game plot is far from linear (neither good nor bad) but at times it can be hard to remember why you are fighting in the first place- oh wait, you're an agent and its cool. That's right. That's why you are fighting. (Seriously, this is why you are set out on a slaughter campaign to liberate a country- because you're wearing black and have a gun, guess its your job *shrug*).

The plot is pretty much nonexistent.

Overall, the scenery is pretty. If you want to explore miles and miles of ocean and tropical paradise and see local villages with people harking their wares and gangs killing each other, this is the game for you. If you like to be entertained with good gameplay, a story, or anything resemblant of character development... this isn't for you.

This is a Grand Theft Auto clone containing both "theft" and "auto", but it is very far from "grand."