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Onward (2020)
So Dumb
I'm surprised to see this film has received any positive reviews whatsoever. It was unquestionably dumb. I slept a little in the middle of it (Even had a dream), made myself some coffee, constantly walked in between the kitchen and the TV room and still, didn't lose much of the film. All I lost was my time.
The reason I watched it to the end was to see if there were any plot twists or anything that could surprise me a little. But no sign!
Did it have any music written for it or was it a compilation of some random witchcraft game sound tracks?
Was it suppose to be humorous? Because the only scene that put a teeny tiny smile on my face was when the dragon had that silly face on his head.
I would say this production was nothing but the waste of money, talent and energy.
Westworld: The Passenger (2018)
An unnecessarily complicated and overly dramatized season finale for a pseudo intellectual show
Westworld season one was already a huge disappointment in my opinion and didn't live up to the hype at all. But out of morbid curiosity, I decided to give it a
second chance and therefor I watched the new season, entirely, only to find out I got fooled again. I may not be exaggerating when I say this show is made for super genius audience and need to be watched more than once to get fully decoded. I mean did you guys really understand what you just saw? (I'm addressing those behind the high rating of this episode). There is a limit to which you can expect the viewer to suspend their belief and after you surpass that limit, it's not an intelligent plot anymore, but instead an intelligently insulting one. For instance,
======= Spoilers Below =======
Ford reappears in an episode and we realize it's possible for the cradle thing
to replicate real humans even after they die, but soon it turns out that it was just a mirage in Bernard's mind. How can I make sure that this scenario won't occur again for any other character? Well I can't, because the story-line is deeply flawed, making it possible for the writers to reinvent any new rule for this absurd world. William's story disappointed me beyond words because that, in my opinion, was the least smart and creative ending the filmmakers could come up with. And also some scenes only served there as a placeholder for a handful of beautiful, yet irrelevant,quotes and dialogues.
I think the series has gone far too off the rails and the writers are constantly making up things, nonsense stuff to be accurate, just so the plot survives for another season. What I saw in this show was not genuine ideas, but rather a bunch of "highdeas" perhaps made by some dudes on pot. This episode, per se, doesn't really deserve the praise lots of users are showering it with
Coco (2017)
A very mediocre, yet overrated film.
Coco is an animated film, centered on Mexican culture and Latino music, and mostly celebrated in Mexico, which is no big surprise. I liked the message (or maybe messages) it suggests to a child audience and also the whole idea of representing the world of the dead. However, as with most Disney films, everything gets excessively sentimental and "Disneyfied" here, not offering too much to the adult audience and making it simply a children's film. The film uses many (potentially) powerful assets to build up a great piece, but sadly it fails in most departments. For instance, we see the dead people made out of moving bones and adjustable skeletons, but very few "funny" gags are developed out of this rich context. Any reasons why? Because film makers were seemingly more fascinated by the overall looks and visual elements of the film, rather than being creative and genuine. The film is about music, but you can't really find a decent score throughout the whole film and the beats are not catchy enough to stay with you afterwards. Miguel enters the land of the dead right after he steals a guitar, but no further explanations are given about how and why did this journey happen to this particular boy? I count that as a plot hole. One implicit lesson embedded into this film, which is a big plus also, is about recognizing the unknown and uncredited artists that are actually the real backbones of the industry, and give credit to them, where credit is due. But surprisingly, the villain of the film, Ernesto de la cruz, who is a legendary singer-songwriter and also a big liar, is an exact replica of Queen's Freddie Mercury, with his shaded eyes, striking cheekbones and that iconic suit. Actually the reference couldn't get more blatant right after he threw Miguel off the cliff and said: "The Show Must Go On!" What a coincidence? And why do you have to reference a real world legend as a deceiver? All in all, despite all its good moments, Coco didn't meet my overall expectations.
The Shape of Water (2017)
What an ugly piece of crap!
I cannot really embrace the fact that "The shape of the water" is nominated for 13 Oscars, since it's definitely not academy awards quality, either plot-wise or visually. One little heads up before you watch this movie: don't expect to see anything beautiful, for every thing tremendously lacks appeal in this film, whether the characters or their acting or the settings. I'm not sure if the morals of the film is about reconciling the human/nature dichotomy by showing a very queer scene of an inter-species intercourse, or it's trying to be very liberal by acknowledging the right of the minorities (blacks, homosexuals or even those interested in cross-species coupling); either way it fails to convey its message because the logic of the film is next to meaningless.
An unappealing mute girl, seemingly alone and not very sociable ( since she regularly jerks off in her bathtub every morning), meets a beast which is one of the ugliest characters ever designed for a Sci-Fi movie. Some eggs
are exchanged between the two that leads to a very strong romantic relationship. And they finally choose to stay together. This is only a fraction of the whole mess you're about to watch in this film which is enough to make a movie unbearable for me. The girl, by the way, lives in a cold war era, working in a very top secret facility involved in a very serious business (because we see some people speak Russian with each other) as a janitor, but wait, apparently janitors are given a significant importance in this system, for they're pretty much everywhere and talking to anyone including chiefs and presidents. One final critic, there are posters seen throughout the movie advising against "wasting water", but at the end of the film we see a girl (magically) fills up her bathroom with water through a running faucet, in order to make love with a fish/human hybrid. Isn't it a total waste?
La vieille dame et les pigeons (1996)
Something in a league of it's own
I'm not sure why, but this short piece was powerful enough to resonate with me on so many levels. It must have been the hungry gendarme, who so desperately was in need to get feed. The story line is something more or less grotesque in nature but what touched me the most in this "weirdly appealing" film was the character development. From the first moment the gendarme appears on the tourists' camera shots, you know you want to get to know this strange guy more and more. Well, of course it demands a terrible amount of talent and skill to be able to animate a cartoon character so human-like and impressive but this film seems to be backed up by a group of genius creators. Some scenes and sequences prove the animators have really let their imagination go wild and even though the film's run-time may exceed the normal amount expected from a short piece, you'll enjoy every single frame of it. Those familiar with Chomet and his distinguished style, know that it's really hit or miss with him and as long as you're not looking for vain sentiment in a film, then this piece is definitely for you.
Westworld (2016)
A pretentious existential manifesto supposed to impress us all, but doesn't even come close
So I heard this series has something new to offer, very engaging and loaded with philosophical depths and layers, which I always long for in a show. That's why I watched the entire season in hopes that something meaningful bubbles up to the surface, but to my disappointment nothing except for nudity & violence. The first two episodes sound like they have something to say, but the plot deteriorates significantly to the extent that you no longer wanna watch the show half season. The recurring scenes and the endless loops make you feel wasted and ridiculed. Also I'm not really a fan of those plots in which the mastermind is always a step ahead of everyone and reacts to every conspiracy against himself with a sly smile. I mean isn't it totally outdated and cliché? Even the visual elements and the music can't make it any bearable.
I feel like HBO (and perhaps the whole entertainment industry in general) is putting too much effort into amusing and somehow bewildering the viewers, not seeing that the result gets more repelling than appealing. For instance I honestly can't tolerate it when every single dialogue is accompanied by a mysterious ambiance, as if something horrendous is about to happen or get revealed. It massively uses, or better say, abuses the music to carry out it's narrative which really gives me a headache. And as often is the case, the climax turns bloody or nasty. Nothing original in this series really, all it has to offer is already said in movies like Blade Runner, Terminator or even Saw. What I found to be the most authentic in this show, is the opening credit which is really a nice one. The rest is just too much to bear.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
What the actual freak?
Speaking of Lynch, I'm a total stranger to his world and movies. But I always wanted to give this "apparently dream-oriented" piece a shot. So I did. & to cut the long story short, it's nothing life changing.
I'm pretty confident I realized the entire plot, every single clue, all the intentional character misplacements and the whole irrational logic which is essential to the nature of a dream, but at the end, it all seemed heavy handed and unappealing within the constructs of a film.
I specially despised the movie score which was at times painfully monotonous & add to that a scrambled chronology and some douchey characters who appear out of nowhere and say stuff. Just a few reasons in a long line of why I'm not so fussed about this movie. Admired as it might be, it will get no more than 3 stars from me, out of 10 of course. Oh & a bonus one just because Betty was so perettttty.
Sherlock: The Lying Detective (2017)
What a clever way of vilifying president Trump In plain sight!
Cinematography at its best, acting to its ultimate, dialogues pure as gold and don't get me even started on that plot
I mean, are these people from this planet?! That last minute cliffhanger was enough to make my head explode and the whole fast-paced chain of events in this episode might have sent my adrenaline levels off the chart and who knows what major plot twists are awaiting us?
What I'm mostly sensing in this new season of Sherlock, is the writers' obsession with the whole idea of Predestination; An exaggerated determinism in the order of incidents, Sherlock's superhuman capabilities to predict the future and the big plan we're all bound by.
And lastly (don't move on if you're avoiding any spoilers) am I being the only one who has detected some explicit political innuendos concerning Mr. Smith? This contemptible, flirty monster who uses media and business as tools of hiding his infernal intentions? Never before had Sherlock gone mad like this towards a villain. A villain who looks (in so many ways) like Trump, dresses like Trump and decapitates a Barbie doll while playfully holding it in his fists.
There might be a handful of unresolved question marks right now in my mind, like how come Sherlock doesn't recognize the therapist while they've met before, but I'm bright the answers are yet to come. Fingers are crossed that final bullet is not gonna put a hole on anyone's face.
Stripy (2015)
Imprisoned behind the stripes
As Brahms' notes begin to play, a brush stroke is drawn. Music partners up with image and a visual symphony goes on. Out of the black lines and stripes, emerge the blocks of concrete, walls merge into buildings and suddenly appears an urban district; Staggering highways and the ever- increasing factories, with monotonous colors and the identical employees. Here's where the story begins.
Workers of a production line should draw stripes on boxes following a pattern which is agreed upon. A bored worker decides to jazz things up with a bit of a creativity, that is considered as synonymous with deviance in his society and so begins a series of evolutions and reforms that pave the path to a big change. A big change on the surface only, not deep enough to shake the base and infrastructures of the system and that, of course, explains the final shot. A box decorated with Trippy art, a new threat and another shock.
Perhaps portraying where the directors hail from, Stripy is a silent protest against a totalitarian government where intellectuals and creative individuals are imprisoned inside cages. Cages made out of homogeneous forms and ideas, cages made out of stripes.
Forooshande (2016)
A social criticism with Farhadi's signature
If you haven't watched Farhadi's new release already, then prepare yourself for yet another suspenseful, infuriating, domestic crisis, or in brief, a Farhadi's plot. One worthy of the classy Palme D'or apparently. Not as intricate and open-ended as his previous ones, but in the same neighborhood.
******* SPOILERS AHEAD **********
Emud and Raana are in a rush to evacuate their collapsing house and move to a new flat which was, unbeknownst to them, formerly inhabited by a prostitute. Raana gets assaulted by an intruder one night, who seems to be a client of the previous lady. Emud, filled with rage, seeks for his revenge of course. Raana, on the flip side, prefers everything to be forgotten. Contrasts evolve between the two as we move further, to the extent that they begin to reconsider their relationship.
What triggered Farhadi to make his new title back in his hometown, in my opinion, was the need for a serious heads-up towards where the society is going. "The Salesman" is a social criticism in its core and thus more bound to Iranian context and culture. Although the plot's conflicts and themes appear not to be uniquely Iranian but certain references are quite foreign for an outsider audience.
The couple lives in a society where everything is misplaced. Law and security systems have basically lost their functionality. Peace and pleasure is sought outside the family and words of truth are spoken not in the real life, but on a theater stage while playing roles. Raana decides (out of her shame) that there's no need for police to get involved. Emud begins his own investigations and at the end both debate on how to punish the guilty guy, to top it all.
So when the victim turns into a detective and ends up as his own judge, all by himself, there's one thing for sure; The society has failed to its furthest extent.
Zootopia (2016)
As a Pixar fan, hats off to Disney!
Zootopia left me in sheer awe. I finished watching this movie with my jaw wide open, my eyes joyfully dilated, and my breath taken away, just like that sloth when he reacted to the 3-humped camel joke. I actually had a hard time grasping the fact that this was a Disney-only production, for this level of humor and entertainment is unique to Disney-Pixar combo. The plot's major concern is about appreciating the differences while discouraging the discrimination. If I were to decide on it's main theme I would go with "Polarity" since it functions as the motif throughout the whole story and even the funniest gags are formulated based upon polarity and contrast. The master mind behind all the conspiracy is a lovely lamb with a woolly forelock, Mr. Big is no bigger than a petit shrew and guess who is driving the fastest car in the street? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! Acting is an ace in Zootopia. I mean these anthropomorphized computer- generated mammals made out of pixels and polygons are better actors than many in flesh and bones. The civilized land of zootopia with it's non- human citizens dressed in ties and suits, is so human-like that the scene introducing the naturalist club folks in the nude spa along with their hilarious yoga poses is one of the reasons this movie is rated as PG. And yet my favorite shot referencing The Godfather opening scene, presents Mr. Big, which in my opinion, is acted and animated far better than any cartoon character ever in the history of animation. Not to forget about the unignorable chemistry between Judy and Nick which I wouldn't mind if more of it was offered, maybe with a pinch of romance. All in all, I guess Zootopia restored my faith in Disney after ages.