Change Your Image
mrartiste
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Neil Stryker and the Tyrant of Time (2017)
The writing is right up there with "Plan 9 From Outer Space"
It's hard to describe just how bad this thing is. My greatest complaint is summed up in the title of my post. The stilted and clumsy script is comparable to the almost indescribably bad "Plan 9 From Outer Space". And that is AFTER taking into account that it is intended to be outlandishly over-the-top in terms of its cheesy dialogue.
In short, even on its own terms of campy, buffoonish comedy, it FAILS, completely and utterly!
Treasure Island (1999)
Started out OK, ended badly and bizzarely
When a movie diverges this much from the book you have to wonder why they kept the same title!
It starts out faithfully enough but by the 2nd half the heroes and villains have switched sides and it ends not only abruptly but with so many ragged holes in the original plot it is VERY disappointing. 🤔
Invaders from Mars (1986)
Poorly executed retelling of the original
From the swooping and thus hard to read opening credits, to the almost universally bad acting, to the generally schlocky special effects, everything about this movie seems to shout that the creators wanted to "out do" the original. Sadly, the net result is a clumsy and overwrought movie that stumbles over itself too many times to ignore.
Simply put, a big disappointment and an inadvertent testimony of acclaim to the much better executed first version.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Meddling Medium (1961)
Who could have guessed Halloween was coming?
I was only about 5 minutes into this episode when the "dark and stormy night" setting and ridiculously over-the-top acting made it obvious that this was an episode made as a prelude to Halloween. My supposition was confirmed with a quick check of its Oct. 21st first airing.
Pretty schlocky in many ways, but interesting in its campy efforts at drama and suspense. All it that was lacking was an appearance as one of the characters by Vincent Price, or perhaps Boris Karloff. :-0.
Moontrap: Target Earth (2017)
An almost unbearably pretentious stream of schlock!
Ed Wood Jr. would turn over in his grave to think there are people who could ever dare to make a movie as bad as this. That's just one indicator of how obliviously self-absorbed they are to think someone would voluntarily pay money to watch this HORRIBLE excuse for a movie in a theater.
From start to its utterly disappointing finish it pushes a ridiculously sanctimonious "message" of......one is never quite sure. I've never been so grateful for the ability to fast forward and speed up the DVR as I was while watching this laughably bad drivel. Ugh!! :o(
While I must admit to being very attracted to Sarah Butler physically, that is the ONLY positive thing I can think of about her or this joke of a movie.
In case there is any question, my recommendation is to NOT bother wasting one minute on this "movie".
The Canterville Ghost (1996)
A closer adaptation to the original than the 1944 film version
While there are still many variances from the original story, this version hewed much more closely to it than the 1944 film, which bore little more resemblance to the original than the name. I think this one was well served by the greater similarity.
I thought all the actors did a great job, though I was a bit put off by the peevishness of the father character during most of the movie. In the original story he was also a non-believer, but with much more good humor and sympathy.
I don't know if anyone has ever tried enacting the story as written but I'd be interested in seeing it if they did.
Two on a Guillotine (1965)
An interesting but ultimately disappointing and confused movie
This is one strange movie. It couldn't figure out if it was supposed to be film of light-hearted comedy, gruesome horror or a tortured love story, all with an abrupt and dumb ending. It reminded me a little of the "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken", but with better music. Max Steiner, after all.
The Twilight Zone: The Incredible World of Horace Ford (1963)
You can tell that Serling didn't write this
I was curious to see how this hour-long Twilight Zone would compare with the previous half hour shows. Sadly, it didn't hold up at all. I don't know if it suffered more from not being written by Rod Serling or just the expanded timeline, but everything about it seemed to suffer in this longer format.
Watching it felt more like an exercise in endurance than entertainment.
Blue Iguana (2018)
Started out somewhat intrigued, ended very disappointed
It took itself too seriously, with scattered and self indulgent dialogue that aspired for humor but resulted only in stumbling all over itself with pointless violence and an unsure thematic structure.
Just tried too hard and fell flat as a Tarantino wannabe.
The Expendables 3 (2014)
Things go BOOM!!
I keep hoping for something beyond a live-action comic book but after three of these I've stopped hoping. The forced cliches, plodding and often inaudible dialogue and tiresomely predictable plot lines, over and over and over and.......just can't keep me interested enough to watch a fourth edition (a virtual certainty) despite the, admittedly, pretty awesome action photography and special effects.
But, as the still impressive box office returns show, Sylvester has got another reliable money making movie franchise going so I'm sure he'll milk it completely dry. I can't fault him for that.
God Friended Me (2018)
A disappointingly predictable stream of schlock
I thought the premise seemed promising and was impressed with some of the initial production values. BUT, the plot lines became so predictable within the first few episodes that I started mouthing the dialogue several seconds before the characters did.
This feels like it was targeted for the same crowd that loved the "Twilight" series and it seems to be getting worse with each new episode.
I'm checking out on this one, now.
One Strange Rock (2018)
Magnificent photography and production values, very short on information
As visually stimulating as this show assuredly is, the paucity of actual scientific information left me feeling like my time trudging through it was a 50 minute exercise in disappointment.
I'm sure it was primarily intended for elementary grade children. But, I'm afraid that even for many kids of that age, when it comes to the actual information content, it's a lot of flash for very little bang.
Timeless (2016)
If you're into sloppy, heavy handed propaganda, this is the show for you
While I think the show is decently written with competent if sometimes oddly affected acting and above average set design and effects, I can't overcome my distaste for what seems like an ever-present sense of left-leaning PC preachiness.
The bottom line is that I've gotten so that each time I start watching one of the shows I wonder what the propaganda theme will be this week. I've had my fill and won't bother with it any more.
Incidentally, how long will it be before poor Rufus finally works out the kink in his neck that he strangely seems to try to fix with his odd neck twist whenever his character is under any type of stress? I don't know what acting class Malcolm Barrett learned that from, but it's weird, used too often and something he should try and drop.
The Talent Given Us (2004)
What we have here is a failyah ta communicate!
Like fascination with a train wreck, this movie leaves one a bit shameful for any interest and wishing the time had been spent better elsewhere.
Only a step above the Borat flick in its believability and likability of the main characters, it is just one long definition of "The Ugly American". There may be a good deal of fiction, but there seems to be enough reality behind and among it all to find it much more creepy than appealing. Or even amusing.
I sincerely hope these people can manage to find some value in themselves and their lives, as that appears to be their primary ambition in life. Yet, it is truly painful watching so many people making themselves, and anyone else unfortunate enough to cross their path, so abjectly miserable. Particularly the mother. Eeeesssh!
Not to be taken internally!