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davegfrancis
Reviews
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)
Obvious product of concept over substance mixed with company interference, haste of production and ratings sanitization.
When you have such classic source material and the intention to bring to audiences the gore and menace without the black comedy you would think that this film would have been a simple slam dunk provided you had the time, budget and inclination. Unfortunately this film doesn't get off the ground and misses on almost every measure. It's painfully obvious the production has been tethered with poor cutting of violence to appease the ratings board but it's unsurprising when watching some of the many documentaries and clips that the film suffered severely from producers interfering for the promise of quick cash. No one is particularly terrible in the cast, just really mediocre and never really given the opportunity to shine with such a dismal script that relies almost solely on happens chance to move the narrative. Gone is the build up of any tension and the pay offs to the captures and kills leave very much to be desired, absolutely short changing the audience. It's such a disappointment on so many levels but again it's testament to the appeal of so many horror franchises that quantity rules and the fans are so forgiving that so many bad sequels can be produced for the quick buck. I so wish someone with the chops (pun not intended) would recalibrate this phenomenal franchise rather than continuing down the path of luke warm and mildly entertaining prequels and sequels. The 2003 re-boot was the closest we came but since then the ball has been solidly dropped.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Abysmal end to Ray Liotta's legacy
Absolutely abysmal film with embarrassingly pathetic creative choices featuring a cast that obviously valued paycheck over besmirching their filmographies.
Elizabeth Banks showcases her lack of directorial talent in this epically bad movie with few laughs (for a claimed comedy) and probably one of the most annoying soundtracks I've ever heard (particularly in the second half of the movie).
This film treats the audience as morons (arguably we went to a film called "cocaine bear" and watched the trailer prior), but in defence at very least this could have been a clever film with likeable characters, in the same vein of Lake Placid, however this was anything but. From a pathetic CGI bear to the over-the-top scenarios that miss the mark because the story feels like it was made by committee of effects artists wanting to showcase their skill rather than fulfil key tenants of a good film, namely memorable and likeable protagonists and a story that made you at least have an interest in the welfare of those characters. Literally everyone in the picture is horrible or annoying and fodder for the bear to attack... a classic cult film wannabe that will never be remembered for anything other than its stupid title.
Such a shame this was the last project of Ray Liotta.
Living (2022)
A well acted and produced Snore fest
It seems the waters of modern cinema are never deep when an easy-to-forget movie of this caliber is produced, a movie that barely entertains and feels like wasted hours and minutes of complete utter dissatisfaction post credits. Not much happens and there is little to take away, otter than the tropes of a million other stories of sickness and misspent lives. Sure the acting is of a high standard, the production is perfectly presented both technically and artistically, with the time setting perfectly captured and the tone on point, but the story is incredibly weak and truly is a complete snore fest of the highest magnitude. I found it incredibly difficult to have much in the tank of sympathy for the characters and pacing meanders so slow that you'd be forgiven for falling asleep. Not really sure how this found appeal to those involved, it feels hollow and truly missing the spark that gives movies of a similar ilk the heart that captures audiences and helps them become hidden gems and part of the modern movie lexicon, in particular amongst the crop of popular and memorable smaller British movies we've seen in the past 20+ years. Watch if you have no other choices but don't expect a masterpiece. Just one of the current crop of "make you miserable" movies to make it to cinemas (or stream).
Hellraiser (2022)
Nice try....way too lazy
Well I just finished watching and I gotta say, what a waste of time. I have multiple issues and will start by saying that I genuinely don't think the recasting of Pinhead as a female works despite being open-minded to the choice. No gravitas, no menace.... Lame. The original films always suffered from the appearance of being cheap and gritty, be it film stock, the overuse of soft focus, the cheap effects (done well but obvious matte paintings and crappy stop-motion was always going to date them) and this movie seems to want to replicate that for some unknown reason. Casting is bad, portrayals of characters are benign and uninteresting and Odessa A'zion was in particular a strange choice, just not equipped to carry off a lead role. The story is as expected, far from scary, thrilling or grotesque and essentially a story about the puzzle box and seeing the obvious fodder enter the story to be killed off one by one, really disappointing when you have such a great franchise at your hands, but then again this seems to be the true nightmare of Hellraiser, the amount of abysmal writers that helm these scripts coupled with the lack of skill to make these films incredible, they look exactly as they are, cheap American movies made in Eastern Europe, where money was the motivator and the production suffers from it. The cenobites have a few welcome additions but the execution of them looks very much like Halloween costumes, really underwhelming and far from realistic. Would it hurt to use some slime and blood and who amongst these artists did any anatomical research? This is so uneventful and forgettable I think it'll once again keep the franchise in limbo for quite some time. Glad it wasn't released in cinemas because it would have barely made any money and genuinely looks like a straight to streaming title. Hulu may have had success in rebooting Predator with Prey, but this is a complete misstep that hopefully won't harm interest in the franchise, but I fear it might be the final nail in the coffin of any chance of reigniting interest in Hellraiser other than being a cool cosplay costume. I was hopeful but this movie is a mess on so many levels.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Stupid script saved by some great effects
This movie on paper should be a home run, then comes the stupid scenarios the scriptwriters put the characters in and unfortunately it all comes undone....so forgettable. There are some great effects and some interesting kills but on a whole this movie lacks the stewardship of competent and meaningful writing and movie making, the plot is ludicrous and the decisions made by the characters leave a whole lot to be desired. This movie needs intensity and menace coupled with a whole heap of tension, of which there is little. Dropping characters in an unlikely situation and basically giving them no motivation to do anything makes this simply a film to showcase some good effects and gore porn. Watch but don't expect the lasting effect of the original, part 2 or the 2003 remake because it doesn't do anything to further the backstory or explain the leatherface mythos. Not sure how this franchise survives so many lame incarnations, I understand the horror genre isn't the pinnacle of cinema, but I really appreciate it when filmmakers approach this type of intellectual property and take it seriously and give it some gravitas. I'll keep my fingers crossed it will happen some day, until then this is about on par with what you'd expect from a "straight to netflix" movie.
Reacher (2022)
Needs to not skimp on production
Reacher as a show is pretty good. Despite Alan Richson being a little unconvincing at times, both Chris Webster and Willa Fitzgerald being completely miscast, I'd have to say my biggest criticism of the show is in the final episode. Abysmal digital fire effects and an ending that really doesn't do any of the buildup justice, let alone the final climactic battle that whimpers rather than shines. The show needs a bigger budget and better writing to take it to the next level. I look forward to the next season now that Amazon have green lit season 2.
JFK Revisited: Through the Looking Glass (2021)
More detail but still only skin deep.
Oliver Stone produces a very capable and considered re-examining of the JFK assassination but as always omits important details and never explores the known connection with the Mafia. It's a good documentary for any fan of the subject matter, but as always told from a very partisan political view. Still viewed through pro-Democrat eyes despite making points about Alabama Governor George Wallace and conveniently not mentioning the fact he was a democrat. So many uses of the term "right-wing" in a negative context despite the now obvious realization that the deep state has no bias, but rather a desire for complete control and power. Some interesting details unearthed but unfortunately it is more a love letter to Kennedy that falls short because despite the volumes of evidence to illicit a re-examination and determination, the people have sadly expired and I don't think America truly has the stomach to open those wounds. Worth a watch I you like the subject, but perhaps not compelling enough for the casual viewer.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Stinks but doesn't linger
Disappointing to say the least is the latest installment of the Halloween franchise. Myers to me was all about the presence and foreshadowing rather than the gore we've become accustomed to and again I feel this team of creators have missed the boat trying to capture it. The entire plot relies on the stupidity of people in order to make it nothing more than Michael returning to his childhood home and still we don't know his motivation and have a good explanation after so many years now! Couple that with an abysmal parallel story of another escaped mental patient and probably the most ridiculous hospital chase sequence put on film and you've got a movie that neither satisfies a franchise fan or delivers on the promise of making a truly memorable and or remarkable standout film within the many Halloween installments.
The positives are few, the new mask is fantastic, the music is on point and some of the creative kills are interesting and well executed (pardon the pun). The negatives, the fight sequences are a bit lame, the narrative is tired and the character choices within it are beyond stupid. So few are those memorable moments of Michael stalking his prey, in fact the most successful sequence in the film is that very thing and yet the writers continually opted for the reverse, where he is being hunted, such an unfulfilling choice that does nothing more than erode the credibility of the characters. What is the likelihood multiple elderly men and women would go out to confront a masked mad man? Surely by now horror audiences need to be respected and the characters can't forever keep making such ludicrous and unrealistic choices.
It all makes for a watchable film, but it is the height of mediocrity and fails the litmus test on any post screening scrutiny. The story is tired and the forever reincarnation of the character serves more now to sell masks and merchandise rather than create a true classic that rocks audiences to the back of their seat and leave them somewhat scarred with the memory of having watched something that'll stay with them for some time. See it with a friend, wear brown underpants and switch off your brain. Forgettable fun.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (2021)
The woke production hates white males
Unbelievable to think that "G. I. Joe the Greatest American Hero" has become woke trash. I can't forgive a production that finds it appropriate to show the only JOE agent to be a female and be so fixed on diversity and feminism that it actually ruins the movie experience. This had potential but opted instead to showcase some of the typical action sequences you've seen a billion times, where the fantastical computer generated characters take over in all the big set pieces and the fight scenes are edited in such a way that you barely care to follow because you know the girls are all going to be amazing and the guys not so much. I understand it is made for a kids audience, but it really could have had some blood or at least one decapitation considering the entire cast has swords. The actual story arc of the characters is also a real disappointment, culminating in the most ridiculous of end boss fights. The whole cast lack any charisma too, no endearing characters and no one really of any depth other than the normal run of the mill family gangster scenario where 2 guys are fighting over taking control of the family from the aging matriarch. Watch if you are forced to but don't go out of your way because you'll be disappointed with the result.
Lionheart (1987)
Medieval mediocrity....
Hopeless story, pathetic editing and abysmal casting lead to nothing more than probably one of, if not the worst medieval movies ever made. Bizarre edits in a narrative so uninteresting that you really feel its running time, let alone the pathetic set pieces that neither make sense or add any form of entertainment value. Should we talk sword play? Without doubt the worst you could possibly put on celluloid, the final fight should make both Stoltz and Byrne shudder with embarrassment. There really is no wonder why this missed my radar, considering it was produced around the same time as Highlander, Ladyhawke and Willow, it looks so dated and pathetic in comparison. Cheap and nasty, with that typical over dubbed extras and pathetic periphery ensemble. It's a really hard watch with nothing really to talk about than the score. Avoid.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
Can only have been made for tax relief!
Wow, there are bad movies and then there are those that are abysmal. Incoherent and painfully tedious to watch, Cosmic Sin feels like a first edit of a student film in a rural high school. Not sure what leverage someone had on Bruce Willis and Frank Grillo, but the debt paid isn't worth it at all because this film should not be released and be buried by anyone associated with it. Cheap costumes and sets, hammy dialogue, poor and horrible support cast coupled with a story that is so painfully written and edited that even the z-grade effects and stunts can't save it as being one of those guilty pleasure bad movies. Avoid like the plague or at best watch it during Covid lockdown when you've exhausted all other media options. I'm genuinely hoping this was made purely to get some tax credit in Georgia because it is the worst I've seen for some time.
The Irishman (2019)
Scorsese's tribute to his own past pictures
Way too long and hardly worth the effort. Very much a less interesting tribute version of Goodfellas or Casino, sure it has good production values, with the exception of the de-aging that never looks too convincing. Acting is capable but never noteworthy or memorable and it genuinely feels like it should have been made in the mid to late 90's when De Niro and Pacino were at the top of their game, because there is an undeniable sense of limitation due to their age. The story is far from gripping and poorly paced, it never really raises any intrigue or interest surrounding the disappearance of Hoffa. I personally would recommend Danny De Vito's "Hoffa" starring Jack Nicholson, a far superior film about Jimmy Hoffa and his disappearance. It is understandable as to why this film spent so long in development and struggled to get produced and distributed.
Night Hunter (2018)
I understand why most regions opted against cinematic release
This film struggles from the get go. Mimics other films of the genre but truly lacks any tension or intrigue. Cast is great on paper but rarely utilized to their full potential. So many flaws I can't recommend it to anyone other than those who have a passing interest in non threatening and goreless serial killer genre films. Don't expect to guess the stupid ending and forget being scared or on the edge of your seat with anticipation or fear. So unfulfilling in its entirety..
Domino (2019)
Substance completely lacking
What was De Palma thinking? This is one of the most lackluster movies of the last 10 years. Key elements of good storytelling are completely missing, from interesting characters right through to an amazing soundtrack. Whoever wrote this was incredibly lazy in that the final set piece to this film was undone by a swift kick to the nuts, not forgetting the haphazard way the 'bad guy' of the movie was eventually caught by coincidence. All actors are incredibly stiff and monotone in their delivery and for an espionage film this story has next to no intrigue whatsoever. It feels like a really bad telemovie or a bargain bin DVD produced for someone to reduce their tax. Horrible... simply horrible.
The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)
Great start but fizzles out fast
Such a shame this film showed so much potential, that is if you are able to avoid the obvious political undertones and continual talking down to the audience. It's a decent children's flick, good message and seemingly quality production, but any adult audience will be sadly disappointed. The climax of this film is so stupidly bad that it does make sense as to why many regions opted against or very brief cinematic release. Any Arthur enthusiasts will also be let down by this incarnation of the story. It would have helped to have like-able cast, however Merlin is the only one to have any interest or investment in. The story is lame, the set pieces are very underdone, the action pieces aren't interesting or original and most of all the entire production feels half-hearted in effort and execution. This title deserves to sit right in the isle of mediocrity, recommended for 7-10 year olds.
Black Summer (2019)
Powerful and Tense
Fantastic and somewhat real depiction of what may in fact happen if the world was to go to hell in a zombie outbreak. Incredible technical camera work and clever editing makes this a must watch for any Zombie movie and TV fan. Gone is the emphasis on gore and continual dumb decisions that put the cast in jeopardy for no apparent reason other than a cheap scare or death. The focus in Black Summer is shifted to tension and the decision making of the cast in genuine dire situations. Really enjoyed the Tarantino-ensque story telling and the cast were all fantastic. Only complaint is that at times the zombie makeup and scenes looked a little cheap, but all in all a great journey if all be it a somewhat disappointing end. Look forward to second season because they have really only scraped the surface of the potential story, with hardly any exposition detailed so far.
Bumblebee (2018)
Lots of potential but fizzled.
If only this franchise was geared towards adults rather than children. The amazing visuals of cybertron really show the evolution of the transformers as a franchise with so much more to offer. Unfortunately the film is let down only by a weak and predictable story that loses all its momentum after about 30 mins or so. Good for a time waste, but don't expect anything other than a visual treat. We've seen this film countless times, just a shame a newer and more original concept couldn't be fleshed out without simply a gender swap of the main character and an ethnic minority love interest. Kids will dig it.
Incredibles 2 (2018)
SJW trash
How could all the amazement be sucked out of the original... Just embed SJW politics. One of the worst sequels that totally lost all the heart and spirit of its predecessor. Awful, predictable and borderline boring. A sad money grab. Really disappointed.
Mandy (2018)
Interestingly boring
WTF should be the title of this gem. A well made movie that is highly stylized, however I'm either too dumb to realize this is an allegory for something I couldn't interpret or too smart to bother to fully comprehend and question what in the hell I am actually watching. It makes no sense, borders on disturbing and is actually way too long to hold interest of even the most mindless of viewers. Maybe it should be enjoyed with some hallucinogenics in order to get any level of fulfillment. Watch if a gun is held to your head or your can't sleep, but otherwise avoid.
Boar (2017)
Cheap, nasty and amateur. Should be called Bored.
This 3.4 million dollar production should be ashamed at such a complete waste of money and supposed great Australian talent. Criminally poor acting, a derivative script with a plot so stupid it is painful to endure. Couple that with creature effects and digital effects that make Lake Placid 2 look like a masterpiece. Avoid at all costs is my recommendation.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Just a money grab.
Not sure who this flick is really targeted at, way too dark for children and adolescents yet so predictable and downright laughable that adults can be nothing but amused and/or perplexed by the lack of intelligence required to enjoy a story this diabolically poor and uninspired.
For one, rehashing story threads from prior installments is really getting old. Rich guy, hunter, new breed, rag tag heroes, corporate greed, weaponising dinosaurs, emotional animal rights allegory... it's getting tired.
Secondly, the need to continually call-back shots, particularly of the T-Rex from prior installments (let alone do it numerous times in this one) is also becoming tiresome.
Another continual complaint I have is the stupid situations the lead cast always put themselves in and escape from, particularly the children. It seems that children have a unbelievable ability to avoid being eaten by dinosaurs and I just find it lazy writing to put them into and out of unrealistic situations over and over. A small gripe I also have is that the science is never wrong, any expert in these films always delivers rules of engagement or how to avoid dinosaurs and they are never ever wrong. The relationship with Chris Pratt and blue is also almost as gut churning as the stupid scene in Jurassic 3 with the dino-call whistle used by Sam Neil.
Last of all, the introduction of story elements that have no context or mention in prior installments. I always thought that it was a cheap cop-out to create another island in the sequel (especially when you consider the 7 or so other setups in the original Jurassic that could have been fleshed out... example would be the shaving can of samples given to rival company). So to introduce a partner to Hammond that was never mentioned, let alone the abysmal performance by James Cromwell, is just one too many times in this franchise.
Could either villains have worse teeth and dialect! (What we're you thinking Rafe Spall and Toby Jones)
I'm assuming the constraints and shackles have now been lifted when you consider the ending, but I fear a prequel with fewer dinos and the creation of the park might be the way the franchise goes.
It's ok at best, but I don't think it satisfies any fan.
Lost in Space (2018)
Painfully politically correct
First the positives, great locations and high standard of costuming and sets. On the negative, poor creature design, boring plots, dull characters and massive lack of chemistry amongst the cast.
The elephant in the room is the overt need to have female characters being in traditional male roles when in reality we all know this simply wouldn't be the case. Couple that with weak male portrayals that are continually used to perpetuate negative story threads and it truly becomes cumbersome and painful to watch.
I am hopeful the second series will try and amend these issues, but I fear this will be a short lived series because it was so slow in gathering any momentum and interest.