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Reviews
The Lighthouse (2019)
I thought it was gonna be amazing.
Judging by the cast and theme I thought this was gonna be a breathtaking movie. Boy, was I wrong. Despite the stellar performances by Pattinson and Dafoe, the way this movie was executed was extremely boring. The premise is cool and interesting but they didn't capture it.
Locke & Key (2020)
Great potential, poor execution.
Well, the title says it all. It has a great concept and fairly good acting, but it feels really rushed! With the proper time to make the story more fleshed out it could have been awesome. RIght now this show is just ok if you have nothing better to watch.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Good enough
Lots of cliches, not much of a plot, annoying lead actress, cheesy villain and jokes. I was entertained though.
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Good enough
It was great for its time. An enjoyable watch today and a good laugh because it reminds you how things used to be and where we've come from there. All in all, this film is a piece of history.
Bird Box (2018)
Lots of potential. Lazy writing.
I think the title says it all. This movie kept to my seat and I was eager to watch what would happen next, until the ending came. The movie made absolutely no effort to give us even the most rudimentary of answers. What are the entities? Where do they come from? HOW do they work and why do they attack? What's their endgame?! What happens to the couple that runs away? What happens to the old man locked out on his garage?
I'm giving it 5/10 because technically speaking the movie was solid and the premise was great. But it had great hype for nothing and in the end didn't meet expectations.
American Horror Story: Boy Wonder (2018)
Nothing much
I'm not feeling it. This season has its moments but so far it strays waaaay too far from the main point, which is the Apocalypse!
American Horror Story: The Morning After (2018)
LGBT & feminist heaven.
So far disappointing plot - wise, but a cool twist in the last minutes of the episode that had me "whoa". I would LOVE more scenes like that instead of all the gay stuff and drama that populated the rest of the screen time.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Instant cult!
This movie was not scary nor shocking. The jumpscares were underwhelming, tension was virtually nonexistent and the acting left a lot to be desired. There's not much character development EXCEPT for our boy Doug, who was, in the end, the saving grace of this film.
I mean the film was utterly boring because the characters were stupid enough to root for the mutants aaaand the villains were predictable, not scary and kinda funny. BUT, boy oh boy did Doug make an 180 degree turn and all hell broke loose. The epic music on the background and Doug's bloody figure, an ex Democrat now turned pro guns Republican, is one of the best moments ever! I thought he was gonna die first but I was so wrong. I laughed so hard and loudly cheered for the guy in the end!
This is not a horror movie but you will laugh.
MURICA!
Hereditary (2018)
Disappointing
Not much to say here. Utterly disappointing film. The plot was ridiculous and uninteresting, the pacing was slow and for the most part nothing was happening in the movie, the characters were not representative of real life people and above all this movie WASN'T SCARY! Seriously, how can ANYBODY get scared watching this movie? I don't think that it's possible. There was no suspense, no tension and when they tried to create some, it just fell flat. I spent most of my time laughing at the ridiculousness of the script and characters.
The only thing that was mildly entertaining was the creepy child but alas, she was killed off early.
It's not worth your time.
American Horror Story: Great Again (2017)
Disappointing
Well, that was bad. The only saving grace was Evan Peters. Putting that aside, what happened with the story?! It doesn't make ANY sense that Kai could have amassed followers inside of the prison, no matter how sweet talking he is. He would have been beaten to a pulp. What's more, there's no way he would have developed this kind of relationship with this woman guard. Yes, we learn later that she was Ally's follower (another plot hole. how the **** did Ally know who Kai took an interest upon, how did she contact her etc!!!! ugh...) but none the less Kai should have no way to take her unto his charm. We 're not shown ANY of the stuff that happened to prison and we 're just supposed to suspend our disbelief.
Furthermore, even if we do accept those things the final showdown makes even LESS sense because Ally's plan depends Kai taking a gun from the prison guard and not just casually taking one from his trusting prison mates. This gets even worse when you consider that Kai considers women less than men in every way.
And even if we accept this as well, it doesn't change the fact that when Kai dies his followers who were clearly guarding the doors, did absolutely nothing!
This felt like a rushed attempt to make Ally the big leader now. Hooray now we don't have an evil man cult, we have an evil woman cult! We started the season with "men are superior" and ended it with "women are superior". So what's the verdict? That there are no misandrists and no misogynists, only misanthropists? If so then congratulations, it took 11 episodes to convey something that would need 2-3 episodes to fully pass on.
The most sinful thing about this season is that every character is unlikable. I knew that Kai was a disturbed, disgusting racist dude but the way the other characters are written, there's no sympathy for them in order to actually hate Kai. Are we supposed to root for Ally? Why? She's is just as corrupted, bad and even more so obnoxious than Kai. More like she became that way.
If I could rate negatively I would. The only thing that could save this season would be Oz teaming up with Twisty disemboweling everyone, with the last scene being them sat upon a rooftop, eating ice cream. What? This season was a joke anyway.
American Horror Story: Valerie Solanas Died for Your Sins: Scumbag (2017)
Average season, subpar episode
So, in all this political mess we add misandrism and misogyny. The women of the cult are so easily convinced that Kai is just gonna push them aside even though there's been no hint of that by this point!!! He considers them all equal parts of his twisted game.
Oh, and Ivy things she has a moral ground over Harrison? Really? She "just" made her clinically sick wife go crazy. I realise that these characters are supposed to be soooomewhat satirical, but this is getting ridiculous. They appear to have NO BRAIN!
The worse thing though was Valerie, oh how cringe worthy she was. I laughed out loud when the police didn't believe she was responsible for the murders.
Anyway. To sum it up, even from a storytelling perspective there's so much to be desired. I really hope it gets better, though at this point I'm just hoping for a better next season.
American Horror Story: 11/9 (2017)
A little better...
At least now we 're getting some grotesque stuff. The problem lies people's minds are not wired correctly. Who would be that calm walking in their partner, chopping of a head?
Also, that Trump voter could have just broke his thumb or in worse case scenario, cut it. Just the finger! Uggghhh...
American Horror Story: Neighbors from Hell (2017)
What...?
Just what the hell... First, Ivy says that her stuff is just like family and defends Pedro to the police hinting that she cares about him. Then the looney kills him in cold blood and all is forgiven? No one seems to care even a bit about a person being dead. So much for considering him a family. Also, Ivy isn't the least bit worried that the looney carries a gun without letting her know about it.
But Ivy loses it when there's a cheating scenario. She's got her priorities straight... (get it?).
Uggh... I really hope the kid turns into a manslaughtering maniac/cannibal and eats them alive.
American Horror Story: Election Night (2017)
Is this really AHS??!!
This episode was beyond disappointing. Roanoke was slow but it was creepy enough to keep me interested enough to wait until the good part but this...
If this season is gonna be about lesbian anxiety drama I hope the kid will transform into a clown and feast on his "moms" with Twisty alongside.
We want grotesque stuff, not your political agenda thrown on our faces. We watch the CW for that.
Las hijas de Abril (2017)
Good for a few laughs
Not much to say about this movie. The acting was good, but that's the only half decent thing it has going on. The rest is laughable and ridiculous at best. Valerie was the only character with seemingly human emotions. Clara was just... there. Not much going on about her except her obesity issues. Mateo was as dumb as people get - any more and he would be a dolphin. The mother though is the icing on the cake. She is just plain old clinically crazy! And of course the movie doesn't bother giving us closure on anything going on inside her head.
Regarding the plot. Not much going on here. We witness the worst parents on earth. That's it.
I watched it with a friend of mine and we had lots of laughs, so if you want to have some fun and have an interesting evening with your friends then by all means watch this. You will not regret it (perhaps).