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Reviews
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
Did Martin Lawrence have a stroke?
Now it's been a while, but the first two Bad Boys movies were big, fast, dumb fun. I rewatched them both before this and while a bit dated, they'e still all that. This instalment even plays on that a little, with running in-jokes about getting older between Mike and Marcus. They largely fall pretty flat, but they tried.
However, there's no hiding that Martin Lawrence is just bad here. 90% of his lines are delivered in a druggy slur, and his comedic timing is entirely absent. Since he's also clearly not an action star, that makes him a massive liability, and he drags everyone else down around him.
Will Smith can't really carry it and the AMMO team are interesting enough, but the baddie's best moments are spent in their respective first 2 min on-screen, and there's a lot of dead air in-between those scenes and the finale while we talk about non-story, family, filler stuff.
It's okay. Lefty lawyers will hate it - there's a lot of disregard for the law and collateral damage including what must be dozens of civilian fatalities during a chase scene - but it's still mostly dumb fun. It's not nearly as big or especially as fast as it should be, but it's still okay.
Birthday Girl (2001)
If it's all the same to you...
20-ish years ago I saw this movie - at home, on VHS - and in 2020 I have enough of a positive recollection to give it another viewing. As I sit through the opening credits and see Vincent Cassels and Matthieu Kassovitz show up - who I didn't remember at all, I realise I have only one actual memory of the movie as a whole ... one line from Ben Chaplin, who kind of disappeared after this movie ... but of course they're both fantastic in their own right so I stick with it. The one line comes and goes, and it's about as good as I remember it - delivered with a tight, very English sense of self-righteousness and resolve, and very dry comic timing - and then the rest of the film unfolds without too many surprises, to a more or less satisfactory conclusion.
It's probably never going to be anybody's favourite movie, but it's clever enough and I guarantee I'll still remember that one line in another decade or so, so props to Ben Chaplin for that, wherever he may be these days
This Is Us: Six Thanksgivings (2018)
Just when you thought Jack was the perfect man...
This show, man... sheesh...
Jack has been giving me a high man-standard bar to aim for since day one, but this episode we get new MVP entries from Toby, Miguel, young Jack (at least twice, maybe three times being a better man than I could ever hope), young Randall, and, right at the top of the show, adult Randall sending the dad-bod underwear standard stratospheric.
Also Kate does good, Tess drops bombs, and Kevin and his not-girlfriend-who-are-totally-falling-in-love take strides together.
This is nearly Capra-level down-home goodness, but it's not just good it's really well done, annman, I love it.
Missing Link (2019)
Beautiful, just beautiful ... and that's kind of the problem.
Laika make movies that I want to watch. Movies I want to see, stunning pieces of art that are utterly beautiful for their own sake, and movies that make me love movies ... but ...
They haven't yet made a great movie, and this isn't it, either.
Like all their films it's utterly phenomenal to look at, like Paranorman and Boxtrolls it will make you reflect on what it means to be human, like Kubo there are some huge mindblowing set pieces, and, sadly, like all of these you might feel at the end that something's missing.
Hugh Jackman is a more than adequate voice actor, as is Stephen
Fry - you sense their talent in every huff and grunt, even when they technically have no lines to speak - and Zach Galifianakis breathes a very human, halting, insecure and vulnerable life into Mr Link, but there's still something distant about them, and the story clunks along a little.
Laika's strengths are technical, perhaps, and not emotional, and so their films induce awe for maybe the wrong reasons. I love, love, love these films for the visual art of them, but I am less moved by the stories. I wish that were less true, and I await the film that satisfies all the senses at once.
Mayhem (2017)
Dumb fun
Starts out a bit slow, but get through the first 20min or so and you're in for a ride. Pour yourself a few stiff drinks, turn it up loud, and ... don't try this at home.
If we're being picky, the acting is generally pretty good but the script is a little clunky, and the accents are all over place. (You've got Koreans, Australians, New Zealanders, Scots, and other randoms all playing generic ... middle American? and they've all got their own ideas about how that should sound.) Also, there's kind of a story, but who really cares? ;) It's under 90min, just do it.
Chocolate (2008)
Not gonna lie, loved it (drunk, in FFwd)
Disclaimer: was a little bit drunk and got through this 92min movie in about 50mins.
Addendum to / qualification of above Disclaimer: the 50mins I mentioned included having to skip back at several points for repeat awesomeness.
So the storyline includes something about a Thai girl getting involved with a Japanese guy and then getting horribly sick, and her hair falls out because cancer? and her daughter is some kind of savant (like the awesomest kind!) where she can do anything she's seen on TV, which basically makes her the world's greatest fighter at age 12 or so. And her brother (or maybe friend who lives with her? did I mention a) age 12? and b) I skipped the dialogue bits?) pimps her out as a busker based on her autism and makes bajillions of baht but then gets weirded out when some hooker dumps a wad in his hat... okay, honestly, I have no idea what the hell this was about, but who cares?
If you're really keen, feel free to watch the first hour at whatever pace you like, picking out the choice segments to watch at normal speed (or even slo-mo) as I did, and you probably won't do too badly. However, when you get into about the last half-hour, slow down and watch the crazy brilliance unfold.
I don't know jack about the Thai movie industry - this kid (Janna Yanin) might be the next Alec Guinness for all I know. She was kind of annoying even when she fought - she really only has one vocalisation, once she's done with the Bruce Lee impersonations - and apparently she wasn't even really a trained fighter until signing on for this movie. On top of that, the filming seemed a bit rushed and often poorly lit, some of the wire-work and the editing overall was pretty amateurish (and as indicated above I really can't even comment on the scripting / acting, although I assume it was average at best), but there were some genuinely jaw-dropping / whatthe...awesome! moments, and damn if I didn't enjoy the hell out of this little slice of Thai...
NB: (spoiler?) also includes a Jackie-Chan-style blooper sequence pre- credits, which is worth a look.