I can't seem to find the proper place for this post so I'll put it here. If you buy the Golden Collection, The Premiere Collection or any of these collections, be warned. There are so many white specks constantly floating and rising off the screen that you'll swear someone threw a salt shaker at the screen. Restored? From what? The mediocrity that once was? I could swear they looked better when I watched them as a kid. Shame on you WB. You couldn't even eliminate the crapload of white spots rising and floating around during Hair-Raising Hare? You didn't notice them? I don't know what you restored but it wasn't these classics. Maybe you should have thought "corrected" instead of "restored".
Reviews
12 Reviews
Lost in Space
(1998)
It is what it is...
25 December 2008
I just have to counteract Li-1 as his review is the total opposite of mine. First he says the effects are "nifty" then he says they're second-rate. Which is it? The "subplot" involving time rips and time bubbles feels tacked on? Lol, it is not a subplot, it is THE plot. The only cast members that ARE somewhat convincing are Hurt and Oldman, contrary to what Li-1 says. He finds no tension in the film but mentions earlier in his review that he finds the mechanical spider scene tense! Let's face it, he's a pretender. The final comments about it being a silly film, kids will enjoy it, etc give himself away completely. Jeez, have a few beers and just enjoy it for what it is. Beats listening in on Li-1's "Shakespeare in Modern Film" round-table brainstorm.
Silver Streak
(1976)
A Nice Saturday Afternoon Flick
17 November 2008
I really like this film but I suppose it's because I like just about everything Gene Wilder does. Unfortunately for the first half of the film we're stuck with him playing opposite Jill Clayburgh who can't act her way out of a paper bag. And when she does try to act it's usually as a Hollywood whore. Her "talent" usually involves trying to seduce the lead actor, and when that fails, trying to seduce the supporting.
Before you give up on this movie, though, I recommend you stay around for Richard Pryor. His appearance is a welcome reprieve from Clayburgh and should convince you to stay with the film to the end. He and Wilder carry the film to the end with only a few necessary interruptions from Clayburgh to complete the "love story" element. The precious few moments we get to spend with Scatman Crothers at the end of the film make this a film not to miss.
Before you give up on this movie, though, I recommend you stay around for Richard Pryor. His appearance is a welcome reprieve from Clayburgh and should convince you to stay with the film to the end. He and Wilder carry the film to the end with only a few necessary interruptions from Clayburgh to complete the "love story" element. The precious few moments we get to spend with Scatman Crothers at the end of the film make this a film not to miss.
The Deaths of Ian Stone
(2007)
Not a bad little film
6 September 2008
First of all, IMDb, please refrain from using kids comments and reviews as the default. TheatreX doesn't know what he's talking about but I guess it creates controversy and creates more reviews like this one so... Anyhow, on with the review.
No, it's not some ground breaking plot device (love conquers all). But come on, even Lucas said Star Wars was nothing more than a Western shot in space. No, it's not some special effects extravaganza like Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark. No, it's not going to win any Academy Awards. But, jeez, at least it has a story that makes sense. There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men were raved about by critics and viewers alike but I found both films to be mediocre at best. My friends and I took shots every time Tommy Lee sat down to jaw jack or read the newspaper and I can assure you we were drunk as skunks in no time. So much for public taste.
This film itself certainly doesn't bring anything new to the genre but it takes what's available and executes it in pretty good fashion. I expected a lot of blood and gore and bad acting right from the beginning but was pleasantly surprised to find neither. The plot and storyline unfold slowly and despite what others say, including TheatreX, nothing goes downhill after that fact. It's as good as anything else you'll see on the big screen and not a bad way to spend some time curled up with your girl in a pitch black room some weekend. Grats to Stan Winston for the production and effects and Dario Piana for the direction. I'll rent the others for sure.
No, it's not some ground breaking plot device (love conquers all). But come on, even Lucas said Star Wars was nothing more than a Western shot in space. No, it's not some special effects extravaganza like Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark. No, it's not going to win any Academy Awards. But, jeez, at least it has a story that makes sense. There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men were raved about by critics and viewers alike but I found both films to be mediocre at best. My friends and I took shots every time Tommy Lee sat down to jaw jack or read the newspaper and I can assure you we were drunk as skunks in no time. So much for public taste.
This film itself certainly doesn't bring anything new to the genre but it takes what's available and executes it in pretty good fashion. I expected a lot of blood and gore and bad acting right from the beginning but was pleasantly surprised to find neither. The plot and storyline unfold slowly and despite what others say, including TheatreX, nothing goes downhill after that fact. It's as good as anything else you'll see on the big screen and not a bad way to spend some time curled up with your girl in a pitch black room some weekend. Grats to Stan Winston for the production and effects and Dario Piana for the direction. I'll rent the others for sure.
Dragonslayer
(1981)
Mmmm...no one else has posted
3 September 2008
Well, the movie itself is/was way ahead of it's time but no one seems to have posted the obvious comment about the priest. The story and special effects were both ahead of their time but there was a certain priest floating around that changed the fate of the Star Wars universe forever. He was burnt to a cinder in this flick but his young apprentice, Vader, was burnt almost beyond recognition in the last Star Wars film. If you haven't got it by now...you never will.
It reminds me of a young Ian McKellan in "The Keep". I was impressed with his performance there but no one gave it much thought because of the film. I'll be back with more of those "hey, I've seen that guy" moments. Palpatine, peeps, Palpatine.
It reminds me of a young Ian McKellan in "The Keep". I was impressed with his performance there but no one gave it much thought because of the film. I'll be back with more of those "hey, I've seen that guy" moments. Palpatine, peeps, Palpatine.
George Lucas and The Reality of Senility
25 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Come on George, even my 13 year old son came up with a better plot than this. Picture George Lucas (credited as sole writer for this fiasco) sitting at his computer/typewriter at 2am faced with a particular dilemma. Mmmm...let's see, the hero and his posse are racing through the jungle in vehicles with the bad guys and gals in hot pursuit when suddenly the younger supporting character gets separated from the others by being thrown into a tree full of monkeys. Question: how and the heck do I get him back to the main group? (Takes a sip of brandy along with a handful of Geritol) Wait, I know, he'll simply swing along the vines with the chimps. Plop right into the friendlies vehicle while said monkeys plop into the enemy vehicle and wreak havoc! Brilliant! Uh, George, let's make a little effort next time.
Now don't get me wrong, George Lucas, and Spielberg, are pioneers, and they have had their brilliant moments but this is definitely not one of them. If you're in your 20's this movie might be somewhat entertaining but if you're over 30 you will be sorely disappointed. He continually reuses his own and even others plot points, plot devices, etc and doesn't even bother to shade them with a degree of originality. Car chases next to harrowing cliffs, allowing Indy to get pounded repeatedly by big burly foreigners (Here a Russian, in ROTLA it was a shirtless German at the airstrip) but escaping with only a bloodied lip, impossible stunts that only Superman could survive (3 times over a waterfall in some half-ass amphibian vehicle that must have had some kind of alien force field surrounding it? Please.) I could go on and on about this shameful excuse for a franchise finale but I'll just sum up the most obvious embarrassments thusly: 1. Did you really have to make a crystal skull that looked like it came straight from Alien and then jam it full of tin foil to try and seduce us into believing it was some sort of ancient artifact? Look closely, I really believe it IS tin foil! 2. Did you really have to put some headband on Indy to help him "communicate" with said alien skull? So embarrassing.
3. Hurt kept insisting they weren't aliens from space but instead inter-dimensional beings yet you had to throw in a flying saucer for the finale. Why? Were you on drugs at this point? Out of prostate meds? 4. The kid/son angle wasn't even necessary, nor was bringing back Karen Allen. I was looking forward to Karen Allen's return, in fact, but once I saw her performance in the dailies I would have cut the whole shebang. All that smiling and fawning and stiff acting just screams "Thanks Mr. Spielberg for giving me a chance to make a few dollars off a character I cared about years ago but I'm afraid don't any longer." 5. All in all, this horrible excuse for a franchise finale shows little effort from the writing department (George Lucas), from the actors (All, even Ford acts like he just woke from a coma), and from the yes men and women that didn't call the above for their lack of love and dedication in creating a final Indy episode that would be worthy of it's predecessors.
Now don't get me wrong, George Lucas, and Spielberg, are pioneers, and they have had their brilliant moments but this is definitely not one of them. If you're in your 20's this movie might be somewhat entertaining but if you're over 30 you will be sorely disappointed. He continually reuses his own and even others plot points, plot devices, etc and doesn't even bother to shade them with a degree of originality. Car chases next to harrowing cliffs, allowing Indy to get pounded repeatedly by big burly foreigners (Here a Russian, in ROTLA it was a shirtless German at the airstrip) but escaping with only a bloodied lip, impossible stunts that only Superman could survive (3 times over a waterfall in some half-ass amphibian vehicle that must have had some kind of alien force field surrounding it? Please.) I could go on and on about this shameful excuse for a franchise finale but I'll just sum up the most obvious embarrassments thusly: 1. Did you really have to make a crystal skull that looked like it came straight from Alien and then jam it full of tin foil to try and seduce us into believing it was some sort of ancient artifact? Look closely, I really believe it IS tin foil! 2. Did you really have to put some headband on Indy to help him "communicate" with said alien skull? So embarrassing.
3. Hurt kept insisting they weren't aliens from space but instead inter-dimensional beings yet you had to throw in a flying saucer for the finale. Why? Were you on drugs at this point? Out of prostate meds? 4. The kid/son angle wasn't even necessary, nor was bringing back Karen Allen. I was looking forward to Karen Allen's return, in fact, but once I saw her performance in the dailies I would have cut the whole shebang. All that smiling and fawning and stiff acting just screams "Thanks Mr. Spielberg for giving me a chance to make a few dollars off a character I cared about years ago but I'm afraid don't any longer." 5. All in all, this horrible excuse for a franchise finale shows little effort from the writing department (George Lucas), from the actors (All, even Ford acts like he just woke from a coma), and from the yes men and women that didn't call the above for their lack of love and dedication in creating a final Indy episode that would be worthy of it's predecessors.
The Mist
(2007)
The Dud
5 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
After 3/4 of the movie is over it's revealed that these monsters arrived from another dimension through a rift opened by the military? Wow, ever heard of Half-Life? Even the monsters are the same. This movie goes no where for way too long on the premise of character and plot development but sadly little of either ever comes to pass. All of the characters, including the lead, are either one dimensional or stereotypical. The religious zealot is a case example. Children of the Corn anyone? This movie offers nothing other than some cool CGI effects, bad language and a few gross out moments. If you want some real tension and fright, rent Alien or Pitch Black and see how it's supposed to be done. And kids, you guys and gals need to quit reviewing movies when you have no experience or frame of reference for doing so. Maybe all of this is new to you but for us older folks, we've seen it all of this stuff before...
No Country for Old Men
(2007)
One of the worst movies I've ever seen
3 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This is another case of the public joining in praise for a movie that is simply awful. The little "acting" that's attempted in this movie falls flatter than day old beer. Tommy Lee Jones sits around for 2 hours drinking coffee and reading newspapers in his office and various diners while the two main characters try to outwit one another. The dialog goes no where, usually involving subject matter that bears no importance to the plot, atmosphere or any thing else that might serve to redeem this pathetic film. Picture Tommy Lee sitting in a diner talking to another character about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and you'll get a feel for what your in for if you ever decide to attempt this film. I was hoping he would eventually redeem this film but sadly it never happens.
The Coen's were always an odd bunch, whether they're working with their own material or someone else's, and with this film they simply perpetuate that legacy. Nothing more, nothing less. If you like watching paint dry or like to spend long lazy afternoons watching snails copulate, this film's for you.
The Coen's were always an odd bunch, whether they're working with their own material or someone else's, and with this film they simply perpetuate that legacy. Nothing more, nothing less. If you like watching paint dry or like to spend long lazy afternoons watching snails copulate, this film's for you.
The final scene will have YOU weeping with regret!
21 January 2008
Horrible. What exactly gets this disaster started? There's a conversation that goes something like this: "Hey, Caesar. You wanna see and hear what your mother and father used to look and sound like? There's a forbidden city not too far from here that has an archive, and in that archive is some footage of your mom and pop doing some interviews and stuff. Wanna check it out?" Caesar: "Cool, let's go!" And it's all downhill from there. Two major cities less than a days ride apart and no one knows that the other exists or is populated? Give me a break. When the forbidden city "army" came rolling out of their ruins in an old dilapidated school bus and a couple of jeeps left over from the old Rat Patrol series I just about keeled over in hysterics. Did those cool goggles, man. I suffered so much brain damage from this film that I find it difficult to continue. An "armory" made of sticks "protected" by an elderly ape who administers logic tests to separate the riff raff from the honest weapon seeking populace? A mutant club whose only requirement is that you have a scar? Any scar. Anywhere. Any size. And don't forget those ruby goggles. When the mutants first open fire on a pair of apes it reminded me of something out of Monty Python. The shell explodes right between the two guys who are about 6 feet apart and when the smoke clears they're still standing! A quick follow up shot takes care of those pesky apes for good. The battle, such as it is, is a dismal failure. More of a squad of soldiers trying to secure a choke point than a battle for a planet. Things do go boom, there's some dirt flying in the air and a lot of extras running around screaming but that's about it. There's an extremely heavy handed comeuppance of a murderous ape and even a weeping statue at the end but not one shred of redemption for the time you just wasted watching this piece of trash. I can only wonder why Roddy McDowall agreed to participate in this tragedy unless he was forced to do so under contract with penalty of execution by firing squad if he refused. Here's a suggestion: Grab your kid's dolls, dress 'em up like apes and make your own final ape movie. It's gotta be better than this.
The Great Raid
(2005)
The Great Bomb
9 January 2008
I'm halfway through this movie and I still don't know what the writers and directors are trying to accomplish with this film. Concentration camp life, quinine, some kind of love connection between a woman and one of the prisoners, quinine, smuggling quinine, a trip to town so the POW's can buy fresh fruit, more quinine, a shift change at the concentration camp...arggg, time to change the channel. This is the worst war movie I have ever seen. Too bad too as the story is one worthy of praise and immortalization. But this film doesn't even come close. If you absolutely HAVE to see it, skip to about halfway through and start from there. I think all the rave reviewers out there are simply trying to be patriotic, which is not a bad thing, but you do a disservice to the other readers of this forum out there that are looking for an honest review.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
(1982)
Strange text
9 August 2006
While watching DMDWP for the 13th time I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. When Steve Martin is about to chase Vincent Price through the streets of Carlotta, there appears the letters PEDR, all caps, on the upper right side of my screen. It's only there for a split second but it's definitely there. It actually flashes twice. The first appearance is when Carlos says "Don't worry about your pajamas, "señor" When he says "about", there it is. The second appearance coincides with the word, "señor". This thing has really got me baffled. Does anyone know what this means? Funny thing is, I've seen the movie over a dozen times but I never noticed until now.
Godzilla
(I) (1998)
Ahead of their time
8 October 2005
The effects are simply ahead of their time. In reference to that guy from Austria, I'm glad there is no longer a guy in a rubber suit. And Godzilla doesn't shoot "energy rays" from his mouth...lol...whatever that is. Spielberg, take note, that pathetic city sequence with the T-Rex was lame. Make it longer and make it look good. I've seen this film over and over and over. Slow motion, freeze frame, etc and I have yet to be surprised. I feel the weight and mass of this creature as he/it wrecks destruction upon the city and am glad that his ridged back doesn't shimmy like some old woman's forearm every time he turns his head. But, hey, you should appreciate that...
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