Reviews

One wonders why a Filipino movie piles up all the Hollywood clichés so thoroughly? Having an eye on the guys who get piles of money out from their work is not necessarily a bad thing, but come on. It is a sad thing that Hollywood's "superiority" is regarded as this vast that even all the errors are mirrored. Or maybe Mark A. Reyes just couldn't come up with a good idea?

Whatever, the stuff goes like this:

In the year 2021 Earth is down and out as the Balang (evil aliens, you know) have come 'round and kicked ass.

The whole plot revolves around the town of Paraiso – which looks like every other bombed-out ruin, but what the heck. At the start, some kids are of course out of the safe perimeters on their own (sounds familiar?), but no fear, they not only meet the soon-to-be love-interest of the hero and her mute sister (gone mute because of the terrible experience to see her parents die or whatnot – I think it's cliché No. 3) but also are rescued by Crisval.

There are also some Mutanos (mutated human collaborators, who'd thought), shooting people but getting their asses handed by some guys on BMX bicycles (reminiscent of "BMX Bandits" – ergo very inane in this context). Also, as this is a post-apocalyptic movie, the warrior of the future has to wear some put-together armour of plastic, at best in glaring yellow, red or blue – Power Rangers go!

So far so totally daft. The aliens of course want to destroy Paraiso and so we get some "jealous guy blows the whistle on Paraiso, Mutano guy defects his alien masters, people run around aimlessly, annoying children are allowed to have speaking parts, etc. I confess that I skipped some parts – couldn't stand it.

In the end, Crisval has of course build several trash-robots and kaput's the Balang's battle droids. Hurray!

But to come back to the cliché – the hero crew:

– ex-military men with dead family

– good-looking wanna-be rebel with father-issues (with a hairstyle that time-warps scenes featuring him back to the 1990s)

– goofy technician

– blind girl which of course has visions of imminent doom

– little girl who is able to teleport (explanation for this one? Nah.)

– love-interest girl who truly evil overlord's daughter

Neat? Yeah. Also they have this children-do-totally-cool-things scenes like: Annoying kid A puts grenade into mouth of Balang soldier; Balang soldier being a total moron does not get it out, falls down, lands on gas bottles; grenade explodes, gas bottles explode, take off and hit Balang spaceship over town, which explodes. What? Sorry, my brain just went "pop" and I thought I saw a cartoon-show for 6-years old and not a movie aimed at adults ...

Also a very low point of the movie is the totally inability of the Balang: They come from space with a vast ship. They kick Earth's ass – BUT! before the counter-attack at the end we hear that they were defeated in the USA, Europe, China, etc. Seems like they were defeated anywhere than around Paraiso. Also, while they have vast spaceships, they have no soldiers. They like to create the Mutanos to do all the fighting. Typically superior alien-things them, eh? Also, the Balang themselves look not unlike any enemy from the Power Rangers series – like plastic and all. And if they show up in a fight at all (happens twice in the whole movie) they are shitty. One gets handled by Crisval's fist robot (which moves with the speed of a dead slug), while the other ... read above. All the inability to be really frightening, let alone believable invaders from outta space is peaked by the introductino of the Balang overlord – who happens to be a slimy thingy that cannot talk or do anything else than sit around in its hibernation chamber and die while fighting crap-robot A. Makes these. An alien species which relies on the "leadership" of a slimy thing that goes "hiss, spit, grow" all the time ... All their idiocy and inaptness accumulate in the end-fight, when they show up to vanquish their enemies with about fifty men. Right, if I was a big space-invader I would also send fifty mutated slaves to deal with a whole city of ... ah, whatever. And their war-mechs are of course that badly build that they can be trashed by some robots made from scrap. Meh.

So the Mutanos do the whole evil-villaining, and they are as clichéd as you want them. Their leader is named Hades (dunno what's his name in the Filipino version) and he is the "roll eyes in a threatening way", pale, hidden under cowl guy. Like a D-class Palpatine. The rest are the usual blowtorch goggle wearing henchmen (these goggles made a career as SciFi accessory, no?), peaked by the evil-ponytail-guy, who gets a cyberhand in the course of the movie and in the hilarious showdown does the "try to fight cool but for naught" fight with the mayor's son – after they of course have jumped out of their big fighting robots. The Mutano super-strength, etc. seems lacking against some not-so-good-looking Capoeira-moves. Not that one notices by then, 'cause the whole flick is full of silly, manga-style fights which go nowhere but show that one guy in a yellow plastic-armour can gun down about 150 Mutano-henchmen. (They just enter the fight and go down – again, and again ... yawn).

All in all a very enjoyable movie about some Mecha, inapt storytelling, lousy characters, lousy actors, totally lousy aliens and so on. It might have worked as a low-grade "be sure to switch brain off" anime. So it is just painful to watch.

Oh, and they have an open ending ... part two?

Bikini Bloodbath – what does one expect from a movie titled like that? (watchit – could contain spoilers … yeah, right).

Boobs? Check!

Inept "storytelling"? Yep.

Total lack of character development, acting skills or anything that usually has a part in a movie? With a vengeance.

This "movie" is a lunatic roller-coaster, featuring some hot chicks who have no talent to act whatsoever, a random lunatic killer and some liters of ketchup. Yep, it is just the movie you and your friends could make on a sunny afternoon. It is the kind of flick you either hate (because you like real movies) or you love (because you like silly bullshit pretending to be a movie). All in all, it would strike me as odd if the wrong person would ever lay hands on this one.

Whatever – parts of this creation are indeed funny (albeit not all of them intentional). It is pure non-brainer fun, a lot of screaming and lots of raunchy nonsense. Best things for me:

1. The totally gay football team (these guys really had a good time playing the scenes it seems).

2. The "you don't even were invited" running gag (and yes, the ugly ducking get a very untypical finish).

3. The fact that one of the chicks quits the final showdown to sit around in "Das Taco"(featuring a Hitler mock-up ad).

If you like cheese, you won't get any more ripe that this one.

I'll give it 5/10 – 0 for those who seek a real movie, and 10 for those who just happen to love flicks like this one.

Zombies, our times jack-of-all-trades movie monsters return once more to plague a bunch of gangsters who happen to pull off a heist in the wrong night.

That's more or less the complete storyline. Not that I protest too loudly, because most b-grade zombie flicks don't offer much more in the line of storytelling. Alas, Dead Heist, while at least struggling to patch some back-story onto the main characters in the first half, totally abandons anything but pointless dialog in the second and forgets more or less what the heck is the point of a storyline anyway.

The cast of course is not exactly 1st class material: Big Daddy Kane is okay, Brandon Hardin manages to pull off quite an okay performance while D. J. Naylor seems way too nice to be the battle-hardened veteran and Traci Dinwiddie – dunno, she mouths the gun-blasts in the final battle, as if to dub them ... meh. And the zombie extras – we'll get back to them. Director Bo Webb at least manages to do some nice shots and the movie's picture quality is better than others in this class of film-making.

The first thing that is somewhat dolorous in Dead Heist is that the zombies are nicely introduced while rolling the front credits, but then forgotten for about an hour – and when they are brought back you'd wish the wait would have been worth it. You are wrong. Overall, the zombies were in fact the biggest problem in this flick. That is because Anghus Houvouras (the writer) seems to fancy himself imaginative when he makes them a hybrid from the "fast dead" (as seen in 28 Days Later) and vampires (they drink blood). So far, so yawn – but what's with the "you have to shoot them in the heart to kill them"? Headshots are overdone or what? Surely, zombies usually need a good 12-gauge to the head to keel over – but while it has been of course done a hundred times it is a far more "believable" than killing them with a shot through the heart. But maybe the guys were out for virgin soil or whatever. Then again, the back-story of the "governmental experiments gone awry" sounds somewhat familiar ... but who cares? Nobody but Kane's character as it seems – which is total bull if you follow the background story of them vile undead (or whatever they are): they move south for some time, killing their way through the US of A. Yeah. And nobody knows. Good zombie cinema usually is themed the Zombie Apocalypse way (i.e. the world is overrun by them) – but here all is quiet and the hordes of undead are traveling unmolested far and wide. Makes no sense. That they burrow into the ground for the day (as far as the explanation from the zombie-hunter goes) doesn't help. All this of course wouldn't have troubled the seasoned b-grade movie-fan if not for the total swizz the zombies turn out to be when they finally make their appearance. Not only did they get astonishing numbers of bad extras for the zombies (many stumble around like straw-puppets not sure what to do), they are also totally not frightening and not able to kill four people who are armed with knifes when coming at them at a 25:1 ratio.

The final battle is one of the great anti-climaxes of the year. Not only do the movie-makers want us to believe that – as it seems – the whole small town in which the heist takes place is turned into undead morons (which of course nobody seems to pay mind – the place is all but deserted apart for the zombies), but also that the "great plan to eradicate them all" of Mr. Kane's character is, well, to shoot them all with handguns and stab them with knifes. In one of the most silly fights in zombie-flick history they of course succeed (with small back-story interplay and demise of the zombie hunter) and then walk away in the morning sun. Not that anyone in the outside world would have had noticed the nocturnal undead massacre or maybe the missing neighbors.

If that final folly would not have been that paining – and the zombies would have been more than totally harmless duds – the movie would have been much better. The undead were never that toothless as here. And that's sad.

All in all an underwhelming gangster flick, but a total washout when it comes to being zombie horror. Zombie-maniacs might sit through this one, but they will be disappointed. People who like gangster-movies will more likely stick to it, as the part without the zombies is the better one. This one doesn't hurt, but rather leaves you with a stale taste.

(And what's it again with the "Dead" in the title? Any damn zombie flick now more features it, or the equivalent "... of the Dead". Show some imagination, lads.)

Cannibal Holocaust is a movie that somehow gets people to recommend it with 10/10 points a lot. One asks why, because the movie neither has good actors, good cinematography, good music or anything else then the usual cheesy bull that comes with horror flicks of this caliber. As it seems, some people are wetting themselves because some animals get killed along the way – and slap around other people for not being amused by this, as it is the "human way" and "controversal" and stuff. Surely the natives like a good snack of monkey-brain, but I'll bet they don't usually slaughter turtles and then mash around their bowels like they were Play-doh!? As natives go, I think they just eat them without much interplay – but, hey, that would not be as "shocking" as it is, no?

Anyways, as the director had only so much money, and thus the "special effects" look like stolen from any run-down ghost train, killing some animals were apparently the only gore effects he would get. Also, with all the "social criticism" going on one begins to wonder (when not beginning to nap) what a false picture most people have from war correspondents and the like: Dang! So you have to rape, pillage, slaughter and overall behave like a complete bastard to get your pictures sold and maybe a Pulitzer Prize from time to time. No wonder the "white men" from the west have such a bad reputation amongst all these stupid indigenous people.

And what did the Yanomamö think about these white guys who were doing a "movie" and wanted them to act this way and that? Good we stayed in the jungle? What the dang? Are all white men totally insane and perverted?

But, back to the one thing that makes Cannibal Holocaust a movie to remember: The "message paradox". As many stated on this site, the movie has a message about how evil, corrupted and perverted humans are, and how all the worst human characteristics come out just to get a higher audience rate. Now this struck me as something strange. A movie who "criticises" the outrageous depravation of humanity – and only ever got heaved beyond the cesspit of abysmal horror flicks because it does the very same! Without all the senseless slaughtering of animals this so-called movie would rot away in the deepest corners of movie-making (and rightly so).

The question is: had Ruggero Deodato this in mind when making this crap-fest? Is it a clever conundrum of criticism? Or did the director just fall for the same perverted lure of fame he so "believably" depicted in his movie?

As I read Yakuza+Zombies+Magic this movie looked like good fun. Being a fan of good Zombie cinema (and "so bad its good" flicks, too) I though I couldn't go wrong with this one. Sadly, this movie is just lacklustre and drags on and on and then some …

Here we have everything united that stands for a cheap Indi flick one would do with his friends in the wood (with just enough cash to get the blood squirting, etc). Versus is the stuff I would make up 20 years ago when playing with my Masters of the Universe or G.I. Joe figures.

Most of the villains are from Standart List A of Bad Movies: Evil Villains. We got the stylish evil boss (who is thank god gunned down in under 60 sec.), we have the stylish-but-sadly-totally-mad evil villain (Kenji Matsuda, who act so over the top that he is the only character entertaining enough – sad thing is, after half the movie he is transformed into a stupid frog/ferret/whatnot undead/thing that is just totally ridiculous), and then we have the various henchmen: Seemingly evil rocker with honor and big gun, cool guy with glasses and maybe some gay love interest with the mad boss and the usual moron who goes totally mental from all those supernatural stuff happening around and acts as some kind of comic relief guy. Then – somewhat later – they also throw in a red-haired assassin with shades and the usual one to two female assassins with nice leather dresses and guns. (Look for the second one, she stumbles through the last third of the flick as if the director had forgotten she was still around). Also there is the indifferent "real" evil boss (Hideo Sakaki) who happens to be the second person with some acting talent. To all those more or less archetypal lads & lassies come two cops, who have some serious mental problems (one riding the "studied in the USA with FBI – me hard guy" joke until you wish they'd shot him already).

Then we have of course the mysterious and totally cool Mr. Anti-Hero (who happens to suck big time, so you'll hope for the bad guy to kill him) and the even more mysteriously girl in white.

All of them thrown into some sort of "story" and lo! let's kill off the zombies in the woods. Not that they are true movie zombies – they can be killed like anybody else. Maybe use some bullets more (which isn't a problem as all guns have at least double the ammo they should have).

The whole movie then is, if not a roller-coaster then at least a tunnel of horror to ride, composed of "standing around in pose", "martial arts fighting filmed from various angles and with many cuts to make it look fast", "random running around and fighting" plus the old time evergreen "totally ignoring anything close to storytelling". In animated movies the fight scenes at least look cool.

Nah, some of the fighting is cool, indeed – but the whole experience drags on for two hours! I mean, come on guys, without a proper plot and one page of dialogue: You could have done this in half the time. Maybe then it wouldn't have become so stale and boring at it was after one watches, and watches, and watches – and nothing new happens.

But, as one can see on this very site, this movie again suffers from overvaluation and undervaluation as do many other movies. For some any damn flick another guy can find shitty is worth 10 stars and is "the best film ever made". The opposite fraction of course will give it 1 star and declare it "the worst film ever made". Man, this movie is just too mediocre. It's neither the orgasmic advent of a new type of movie, but it is neither the greatest bullshit ever filmed. But maybe this is another over-enthusiastic internet thing?

If you like martial arts, some guys who happen to be dead but are not real zombies, bad acting, three-minutes posing before every damn fight and are easily distracted by story lines, watch it. Or just grab some beers, get some friends and watch it anyway – maybe you find it cool, maybe you just have a good laugh. I for my part just got bored. Maybe I take my old action figures out and do it again, better

Somehow this is just another example of a brand name being thrown into the shredder of film-making. One asks why? Especially with the rather unknown Mutant Chronicles (a role playing game, later board game, etc.). Well, I did play MC for a time maybe 14 years back and I liked it. So I looked forward to the movie – at least the cast looked good. But, at it was with many game/book/play/whatever turned into a movie – it had the same name, but most of the original background story is twisted, strangely falsified or just completely ripped out.

One has to ask why? While some changes always occur when converting something into a movie – for sake of pacing, storytelling, etc. – some changes are just stupid. It would have worked with the original story, but no, movie writers and directors seem just too clever and imaginative to just adapt a good story and so bastardize along, killing some of the vital features of the original story. In Mutant Chronicles this is the case with the complete background of the "Enemey", which is in the original game the Dark Legion, hailing from planet Nero, coming from another dimension and crippling all high tech with their "dark symmetry" – which is by the way why everything has this heavy industry/steam-punk flair. In the movie the enemy is a big machine that turns humans into zombies and lo! they go forth and destroy the Earth. The style is okay – they are heavily industrialized and use clumsy steam-punk's stuff – but the reason is never explained and has nothing to do with the evil that has come back. To whine on about the enemy only having one kind of mutant is pointless (they just trashed the original stuff more or less completely with the movie), but come on. Pedestrians without fine manipulation? That's the most evil the enemy can come up with? For a society as gun toting as the human race is in this movie, guys with a single spike for a hand (mutation sequence badly animated, and the spikes seem sharp and nasty, but can also be cut off with a knife) should not be that big a problem?!

Anyway. Some scenes of the movie are quite good, and the overall style of the costumes, backgrounds, etc. is not bad and captures some of the original flair. Then again the first believable and not somehow cheesy dialog happens in my book in the middle of the movie, between the main character and the captain of their drop-ship. That's something.

Shouting at the FX guys is also easy, you can only get some satisfaction from the overall computerish look if you like movies like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow – but Mutant Chronicles always comes off as something that was not really intended to look that way. It is like back in the 80s and early 90s some guys would cry "Science Fiction Movie" and go to some old factory or mine or subterranean dungeons and make a cheap sci-fi flick, pretending to be on Mars or whatnot. Today they seem to film a movie with the same shameless bad script, some clumsy acting and just smear so much CGI over it that is looks like a big picture with Special Effects. Almost all of the splatter effects could have been done better by make-up and "real" special effects.

Acting is okay (Jane, Perlman) to forgettable (most of the crew) to very bad (Malkovich, Walton). Some actors seem to have sensed that this maybe not the best movie of all times.

Overall another attempt to convert a nice story to the big screen, wasted for all the wrong reasons. But, isn't this the case with most of this kind of movie? So, if you like Sci-Fi you can try this one, maybe its "pseudo-artlyness" appeals to you. If you like a cheap flick with some nice scenes, wobbly dialog and cheesy one-liners to watch with some friends to have a laugh – good movie for that. If you know the original Mutant Chronicles stuff you will cringe in pain and gape in awe of what has happened to the story at time and at other times feel just a little bit of the flair of the game. Just a little bit.

This comment MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS – hmm, but not much to spoil, on the other hand.

Now, I got my hands at B.E.I.N.G. (UK DVD title) when I bought a set of 80s Sci-Fi flicks … dunno if there are better movies in the box set, but hey, this movie surely lowered the expectations for the rest. After reading the other comments and the trivia here on the IMDb, I won't bash the movie for looking cheap or doing things rather rushed – looks like they had neither money nor time. Then again, one can criticize this:

(A) Lack of storytelling. The background story – being thin enough – is only explained for a certain degree, and everything happens quite fast. This must not be a flaw for a movie, but it doesn't improve this one. And than they do things like this: Missi Logan, the right hand of the main character is killed somewhat in the middle of the flick. Now, she did not have much to say earlier, but then, after you have all but forgotten about her miserable role they give you a ten minute flashback about "why she was the best there was, how the nebulous agency did hire her, etc.". This I found somewhat out of place, because like I said, she did not have any character while she still ran after Sloan's character – so why bother?

(B) Most actors are no good. Sorry, but only Paul Sloan, who I found good enough as somewhat clueless, driven killer and Hayley DuMond – who did a okay job as a cold, but nevertheless hot evil lady, did really act. The rest just kinda stumbled along. The cops where so stereotypical that it hurt, Nick Vallelonga did not much with a one-dimensional character and the girls, the girls. More or less all of the gals in this movie look like they started their career in porn movies – and "act" like that. Okay, they look hot, too – but their wooden acting skills make every wainscot go green with envy.

(C) Plot devices. They just do more or less all the bad things to do. Have some fights with wild gals in leather. Kill a kid. Let the bad cop beat the crap out of the main character. Have a martial arts fight with absolutely no style or anything else but, "oi, I know a real karate guy, why not invite him and let him do some tricks, so there are another five minutes wasted and the audience might actually think it's cool". Sorry, it's not. And then they do the usual "Bad Ending". In the older days all people did good endings. Then some did bad endings which added a nice dreadful touch to a movie. Now every blasted C-grade Horror does a bad ending and like with the good endings back then, you know it's coming, and hey here it comes, and hey, did it not add to anything but the terror – maybe they will do a sequel!

All in all, I thought this movie lacks too much of a movie to be called entertaining, but then again, maybe they tried hard. This not always means you are not going to fall flat on your face. B.E.I.N.G. falls not completely flat, but more or less so. Only for Sci-Fi hardcore fans or people who like flicks that look like you could do it yourself.

THIS MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS… …even when this little movie has not much of a narrative to give away.

Now, I've seen quite some rubber-suit monster, creature from wherever and suchlike, but man, this one really is boring. It even succeeds in being so bad that it's "good" – which makes most of these movies fun to watch. But "The Terror beneath the Sea" lacks any suspense, storytelling devices or actors-not-being-a-cardboard figure.

The story is rather cheap, maybe even for a flick like this one, but hey, this would have not made the movie bad as such – most old Sci-Fi flicks and films like this have a very bad narrative and still are entertaining. The "story" of this movie has been written down by some other guys here all over the page, so I won't sum it up again, but rather question some points… Apart from dragging on without building up any suspense or anything story-like beyond "now this is a master plan to conquer the world that did not work in some other 30+ movies – they surely botch this one", the characters are all totally stupid (Chiba's Ken being the only one hardly managing to be likable). Like the bad guy, I forgot his name, is very evil indeed. Not only does he wear menacing sun-glasses he also sneers all the time, gives us some throaty laughter and comes over with the usual wanna-be World Dominator one-liners. I mean come on, sun-glasses in an underwater city? Where they afraid to make the movie to cheese if they would have given him a cool mask like Dr. Doom from 10,000 fathoms? Anyway, he is a total nut-case – in fact, he never does anything but point out his glorious plan, while the work is done by his doctors-turned-henchmen. In the end he can't control his own "Water-Cyborgs" (bad looking rip-off's from the Creature from the Black Lagoon) and makes a run for it. Of course he is stopped by Chiba's hero, but only after Mr. Villain fails to shoot him at point blank range.

One thing I found quiet amusing was the shrieking and whining of Peggy Neal's Jenny, who is so occupied with her looks (they get a little bit mutated themselves), that if she survives the movie, she will surely commit suicide when she gets some wrinkles from age.

Generally, what is this thing with the mutations anyway? The "stop-motion" scenes with some other guy being transformed into a hideous Water-Cyborg (means looking ridiculous and being controlled by a Work/Fight/Stop dial in the villain's HQ) looks like they did put butter or curd onto the poor guy to simulate a "mutated skin". Then they went into an aliment-frenzy and threw all other stuff onto him – all which looks like some sort of milk produce. At last they put on some chips (posing as scales) and, hey, here's your average fish soldier.

There are also some guys from the US Navy, who are first reluctant to do anything, then see their wrongs and are over-anxious to to something and then come up with doing nothing more than blasting the villain's underwater city to kingdom come. They by the way overact so completely, and are so badly dubbed that it hurts – but, as I said, they don't do much for the sake of the narrative.

Overall, what could have been a standard Sci-Fi fun flick with some silly fun is sadly completely sub-standard and just rolls along rather drowsy. And the ending scene is so completely terrible "a little laugh at the end" stuff with yet another attempt to break the sonic barrier of cheesiness that you are really happy that this has finally dragged itself to it's end.

Stay with "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" or "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" if you want some underwater monsters with style.

As a fan of the TCM franchise and the Chainsaw-Slinger Leatherface it was a must to get my fingers on the X-Rated, proudly stating "never before released in the UK" version of this movie. To make it short – I don't have a clue why ever they did cut this one down, it's not overly gory and there is not one single shot where Leatherface slices through someone with the saw and you actually see it…hmm.

The Story: I won't give too much away, but hey, it's another TCM, so what do you expect? Nothing new or innovative here, either.

The Characters: Like many other folk around here have already said - the main characters are not very likely, in fact, I found them quite boring and while the boy was some kinda nerd pain in the ass type of guy, the girl just had no personality to speak of. Only time she was okay was at the end of the movie, when she already had gone over the edge. He has not much to say anyway, and goes down after the first half the movie, never to utter another single phrase (not that he had much to say before that). Only glimpse of light on the side of the heroes/victims/nice folk is Ken Foree as Benny, who is not superior, but with the other two so dull, he stand out alone. Character depth is missing here, too - but he has some nice one-liners. Some basic problem with the guys on the good side – there are way too few to make a nice chopping-festival. Four people to go down in a TCM? This could have been overlooked when the rest of the movie would have had more suspense, but alas, it had not.

Now the family. Okay, they are not the original ones, and you don't get any explanation where they have come from, why they are here, or why Leatherface is hanging around with them. But, again it's a second grade Horror-Flik, so this did not overly pain me. In addition, they outrank their victims in style and anything else. What I thought rather funny was the fact that they were of course all raving lunatics, but acted as a nice and caring family amongst each other.

Last, Leatherface himself. I never liked the original styling from TCM 1&2, with that mob-hair and being a fatty and doing this ridiculous "Chainsaw-Wiggle". But then again, this Leatherface also lacks something in terror, style and menace. In my opinion, the new Leatherface from the remake is by far the best looking. Leatherface's first appearance in the movie should have been a shocking, crushing something with Leatherface doing his stunning entry, but he just comes waggling out of the dark, somewhat unmotivated swinging his saw. A rather small one, by the way. He later get's the saw from the poster "The Saw is Family" and everything, but this nice tool is not only way to polished, chrome-style - but also only used once after it's introduction. Again, Leatherface is a moron, and does some slightly clumsy acts, which could have been relaxing and funny, if not the whole movie was kinda clumsy. Though, I liked the scene where Leatherface is pictured doing his lessons with a little computer, trying to spell "Fool" right.

The theatrical ending of the movie sucks, too, and the cuts they had to do to make it work are too obvious (even the director did not like this ending, so 'nuff said). But on the other hand, the original ending isn't that good or shocking either. Over all, a nice, middle class Horror-Flick, which could have been much better. Some shots and sceneries are nice, but the whole thing just shambles along, neither going into Splatter nor into Not-Splatter-But-Suspense and leaves for a TCM fan like me a rather stale taste, sadly – I wished it would have been better.

Yesterday, I made myself ready to stare in the face of The Terror(nauts). But, no terror there. Anyway, this movie is a lot of fun - if your can accept the fact that it's kinda outdated, as far as the "Special Effects" are concerned. I won't give away the plot - shallow as it is - but the movie does not live from the plot anyway, it's charm comes from the characters, especially from those in the background like Mr. Yellowlees, Mrs. Jones and even Doc Shore. Not taking the movie too seriously is the key to enjoy it - the makers of this space flick didn't either, I think. And for fans of the high class B-Movie SciFi-thingy: Yes, they have star-ships, funny robots, bathing cap wearing aliens, ridiculous stuff to plug into your head and strange sound effects. The only thing I thought was rather stupid is the climax of the movie. To destroy the Enemy (no other name given), they blast them with missiles. And that's it, there is no Plan B, just go on shooting, hoping it will be fine - if we miss them, alas, so long, we only have those missile-pods.

Otherwise, The Terrornauts features no terror indeed, but you can laugh, have fun (if you can have fun with this kind of movies) and behold one of the greatest special effects in history: An explosion which throws up a black cloud of smoke rises not in front of one of the twin moons of the alien planet - no Sir, it rises behind it. Now, that's way cool. I wondered myself, what they where doing (I will not state they were thinking anything)? Paste the moons on the camera lens? Maybe nobody will notice? Who cares.