Reviews

I really wanted to like Fury. The director talked about how he wanted to be accurate, how he consulted with veterans, got the only still functional Tiger and so on. Well, he couldn't fail harder.

Firstly, you will notice all the clichés that every Hollywood war movie needs and the good ones avoid. I almost think the writers have a cliché checklist and make sure they don't miss any. Now the tanks are pretty well done. Too bad they only got a single Tiger to represent the German panzer might so if you expect tanks battles in a tank movie…well, not today. While the tanks are pretty accurate the fighting made me laugh. The Germans managed to miss fully visible tanks at 300m but whenever they hit, the tank explodes or is at least set on fire. While this did happen the chances were pretty slim. If those chances were low then the Tiger fight involved 1 : million chance represented by diverting a shell with some logs attached to the side of the tank. The FX guys are clearly StarWars fans as I find no explanation for tracers being as bright. On the other hand, the grim reality of war is well depicted and some of the dialogues and crew interaction work well.

*Heavy spoiler ahead!* I can't find words to describe the final fight. Imagine the most ridiculous fight you've ever seen. No, Rambo doesn't cut it because the enemies are mostly trying to kill him. Now, here we have 300 SS idiots whose only purpose in life is to stand in front of Fury and get shredded. Then they take a break and repeat. While they did carry panzerfausts 10min earlier, they probably dumped them or just prefer to use handguns to engage a tank. When frontal handgun assault fails for some reason their wise leader decides to use some panzerfausts after all. At 10m all you have to do is to point it at the tank with the right end but a certain Wafen SS expert manages to miss anyway. To compensate for their stupidity, the crew forgot to stock up on shells or decided that 10-15 shells will do when heading into enemy territory. They did not, however, forgot to bring hand grenades, which are very useful inside a tank and are a must for another cliché from the checklist. There is more but I believe you get the picture.

This movie had a lot of potential. The plot is interesting and acting good. What it suffers from is predictability, underdeveloped characters and probably the biggest cliché of action movies. The first half is good but then stupid things start happening.

LARGE SPOILER: So the couple gets tracked to a hotel and they know it. They not only stay there but also invite the friendly cop and have a nice morning chat with him right in front of the hotel to let everybody know they are working with the police.

Then they invite everybody to the house and let them shoot each other. As they probably had watched all the Home Alone movies, they prepare some nice traps to be saved by the good old cop who despite severe head trauma and shock has the aim of Robocop.

This is a failed attempt to make a funny heist movie. Unfortunately most of the characters are just clowns and the level of humor is rather embarrassing. The heist elements are weak as well and I wonder how somebody dares to make a heist movie based on such obvious tricks. However, what makes this movie worth watching (at least the first 10 minutes) is its portrayal of Poland that is truly hilarious.

***SPOILER of first 10 minutes***

There is a popular belief among north American directors that the soviet Russia starts on the eastern border of Germany. Countries like Poland, Czech Republic and Slovakia are full of dark streets, everybody speaks Russian and nothing works as it should. This movie goes further than most showing a Polish gulag-style prison and the protagonist suggest all Polish prisons are dark hellholes where toothless inmates have to share beds and are locked in huge cages. The portrayal of Poland is so hilarious I almost forgot how bad the movie was and was laughing really hard. Unfortunately, this is the only funny moment in the movie.

Most heist movie start with a short heist that showcases the intelligence of the script. In this movie they switch a picture but have to move it across the whole town to a forger (who could have been sitting in the next room) who is stupid enough to leave the painting wet so that even the most stupid Russian-style mafia boss can recognize the fake upon touching the priceless painting (which is too stupid even for a stupid boss).

***END OF SPOILER***

There are many modern heist movies similar to Ocean's Eleven that are worth watching so I don't really see a reason why anybody should watch this one. If you want to see a good way to steal paintings, watch The Best Offer but avoid this rubbish (especially if you are Polish).