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4/10
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON LACKING MYERS!
18 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Looking at HALLOWEEN ENDS purely as a movie - as opposed to a HALLOWEEN-movie - I thought it was technically the best of Green's trilogy. That's not a popular opinion and it doesn't mean I think HALLOWEEN ENDS was a good movie - it certainly isn't - but I do think it was better scripted than the previous two with far less quota of stupid characters acting irrationally in absurd situations.

To say it's the best of the three isn't exactly high praise as I thought Green set the bar very low with the first two.

I think they made a conscious decision here to make this movie the black sheep of the trilogy - like HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH - by building a story that reduced Myers to the distant background.

This is strongly hinted at from the off with the opening credits font very closely matching that of H3:SOTW. This deviation has upset a lot of your rabid Myers/franchise fans because they wanted their quota of Myers on the usual rampage with a pumped-up climactic showdown with Laurie Strode. In the end, Myers is a figure very much on the sidelines throughout and is even forgotten about for long stretches of the story. This sidetracking of their beloved villain will be a bitter pill for many Myers fans to swallow. When the final confrontation with Strode arrives, it too is kept brief and fairly low-key.

None of this bothers me because I'm neither a fan of the franchise nor a Myers fan. My admiration has always solely been for John Carpenter's original film.

I do however have a certain amount of admiration for the makers here for deciding not to spoon-feed the masses the expected three-course menu of mindless mayhem. Instead, they've tried to tell the story of a town injured by its past and the scars this has left on its residents.

Despite this game attempt at delivering a HALLOWEEN movie outside the box, there are still the kind of lapses from Green's pen that have blighted the earlier entries in his series. The failure of what would have possibly been the biggest-ever manhunt in the US to locate Myers hanging out in the local sewers is a big ask of any audience to digest. One would imagine this might be the first place they'd search. Also, Myers' fluctuating strength and weakness is conveniently manipulated to fit individual moments of the story. This is a character who finished the last movie taking out half the townsfolk mob after being shot, stabbed and clubbed, yet is here overpowered by a nerdy youngster and dispossessed of his mask and later completely owned, one-on-one by a Me-Too empowered now Granny Strode as we reach the climax!

This after still being able to lift a character off their feet one-handed and impale her to a wall with a single thrust of a blade.

The unexplained connection between Myers and a random youthful misfit is also something you either just accept or you don't. Green relies on Laurie's written musings to get around this by giving us the throwaway line, "Evil changes shape". Again, this seems a quick, convenient fix around having a character suddenly exhibit traits that were completely absent in the earlier installments.

I'd like to say, having deviated so markedly from his first two offerings and the franchise as a whole, Green here has given us something original but judged outside the HALLOWEEN universe, HALLOWEEN ENDS has a familiar ring to it throughout.

A nerdy young misfit named Cunningham falls under the influence of a sinister evil, uses this evil to exact revenge on his tormentors but is eventually killed by the evil that has consumed him. John Carpenter himself gave us this yarn with CHRISTINE back in 1983. As in CHRISTINE also, the nerdy troubled youth somehow forges a highly unlikely romance with the kind of knockout girl who might not too long ago have been crowned prom queen.

We even have Michael Myers and the '58 Plymouth Fury sharing a similar fate involving a junkyard crusher in their respective stories.

For all this, I would place HALLOWEEN ENDS slightly ahead of its two predecessors because above them, it is far less absurd and has a more linear - if unwelcome by some - character-focused story. It is definitely not what the hardcore HALLOWEEN franchise community expected and is therefore likely to rub large numbers of fans up the wrong way.

My main complaint would be that Green here, has again given us a horror film that is largely bereft of scares and suspense - surely the essential ingredients for this type of film.

Pound for pound however, it is the least chaotic, brutal and plain silly of Green's series and for me, this makes it marginally the better of a pretty poor trilogy.

For many however, it will be the worst.
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3/10
Barely kills time!
7 May 2022
I gave this one a fair chance, wiping my mind clear of it's predecessor before watching but just as with David Gordon Green's HALLOWEEN (2018), got very little out of it.

Again, Green here shows all the subtlety of a JCB both in the script and direction. Forget story logic and don't expect much in the way of rational behaviour from the characters . Instead, brutality, absurdity and little else reign supreme in this HALLOWEEN universe. There are so many stupid moments throughout with characters behaving every inch as dumb as you'd see in an early Friday the 13th and an ending that rivaled the ineptitude of the 2018 movie's climax.

More so than Michael Myers, Green himself is now a seemingly unstoppable force of nature, recurringly striking dread into large numbers of people around Halloween time - namely audiences with an aversion to incompetence.

I could write at length about the absence of suspense and scares but it's the sheer stupidity of the characters that killed this one stone dead for me. A hulking Michael Myers is on the loose with a sizeable body count already racked up from events earlier in the evening and people here decide to investigate ominous locations and situations rather than phone the police or simply steer clear of the danger. Some characters waste bullets firing wildly in a panic so that there are none in the chamber when Myers is upon them. Others it seems, simply don't know how to operate a firearm despite being in possession of one.........making Myers' life rather convenient indeed. I'm only scratching the surface here too........some characters really have to be seen to be disbelieved.

If I'm to focus on a few positives, it was nice to see some original HALLOWEEN cast members back and the sequence with Kyle Richards escaping and hiding from Myers was easily my favourite. The reason I say this is because it was the closest the film ever got to achieving some level of suspense.........and guess what - it did so without any blood, guts or gratuitous brutality. Just a wonderful old school exercise in building tension.......a protracted moment of a terrified woman cowering alone in the shadows, barely able to breath with death standing just a few feet away and her life in the balance. For me, there was nothing else in the movie that came close to this again.

The 1978 sequence was a welcome novelty but still merely a novelty. I very much liked how it looked and found myself wanting the film to stay in this period instead of pulling us kicking and screaming back to 2018! I still had a hard time watching Michael escape from an armed police officer merely feet away by simply walking away before his capture outside the Myers house moments later. In the absence of the late Donald Pleasence, the doppelganger Loomis on the scene was quite jarring but I'll give some credit for a ballsy decision to include him. Nice as it was, this 1978 extension to the original still left me wanting to watch HALLOWEEN II (1981) to kind of set the record straight!

As the 1978 sequence ends, we are asked to accept Myers effectively submitting to capture at the hands of the police, only to get an ending to the present day storyline that utterly makes a mockery of that scenario. When you witness how he fairs against a burly group of firefighters and later a Haddonfield mob armed to the teeth, you have to wonder exactly how his capture in 1978 and subsequent 40 year incarceration were achieved so routinely. A tedious and quite pretentious piece of narration by Laurie Strode over the final moments of the movie, might attempt to explain but sounds more like eccentric twaddle from Dr Loomis on one of his worse days after a night on the tiles.

The obligatory mention of a new John Carpenter score always being welcome should of course, go without saying.......but I'll say it anyway, even if his modern cues lack the eerie menace that invested his classic scores earlier in the series. The music was still fitting and effective nonetheless.

All in all, for me this was just as poor as HALLOWEEN (2018) - which I guess was inevitable since that one set the mood and tempo that this one simply feeds off. And again, despite ignoring all other sequels and connecting to the original, these two follow-ups have far more in common with those generic sequels than Carpenter's original exercise in suspense. Green and Blumhouse aren't done with the series yet......one can only hope that the imminent HALLOWEEN ENDS will at least raise the standard significantly and perhaps prove true to it's name.
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5/10
Last Night is so-so.
28 March 2022
Eagerly-awaited in part due to Covid-19 delays, Last Night In Soho had audience expectations at fever pitch by the time Edgar Wright finally unleashed it at the box office.

I have to say I found the experience largely underwhelming and a disappointment on the whole.

Many have been won over by the wonderful production design and use of lighting and colour in recreating swinging 60's London and yes, these are merits the movie fully earns and deserves.

Where it misses the mark quite badly is it's uneasy fusion of nostalgia, mystery and horror-fantasy into a would-be winning storyline. The first 45 minutes or so are passable in setting up the plot as Ellie, a fashion design student hits the bright lights of present day London to learn her craft. She eventually rents a room for herself that was previously once occupied by Sandie - a young singer/dancer in the 60's who navigated the glamour and seedy underbelly of the city in it's swinging heyday in search of stardom.

Each night through her dreams, Ellie experiences and co-lives Sandie's journey through the highs and lows of a tumultuous city, in a period bristling with excitement and opportunity but also rife with degradation and exploitation.

There is also the small matter of some bloody knife murders woven into Sandie's increasingly ominous odyssey through the nightclubs and neon against a background score of familiar iconic 60's chart toppers. This horror aspect is almost synthetically injected into the plot and unfortunately never really plays out satisfactorily. Collectively, the story elements are very sloppily thrown together and never co-exist in a way that energises or benefits the story. If you're David Lynch, you can perhaps get away with this but Edgar Wright.........is Edgar Wright.

After an hour, the film has the very distinct feel that it has played all it's colourful cards too early and the remainder of the run time consists of Wright repeating the same cinematic devices over and over in countless nightmare sequences that long outstay their welcome before the roll of the final credits. It becomes very familiar and predictable. Some might even find it tedious.

The ending is particularly slapdash and genuinely looks as though it was conceived at the 11th hour solely to offer something that might serve as a twist. As it plays out, it is a twist that some will still see coming but appears a hastily constructed piece of exposition whether anticipated or not.

Last Night In Soho is the type of fantasy that The Twilight Zone could have done more effectively in far less time. It does undeniably have it's moments and there is plenty to admire in the enchanting recreation of London's landmarks and backstreets to the vibe of a lively 60's soundtrack. I'm sure there is something to be taken from the story in how it can be dangerous to over-romanticise nostalgia but I feel Wright could have done this far more skillfully with his pen than he managed here.

Instead, we are frequently subjected to overly repetitious sequences of our heroine screaming and running away from faceless (male) phantoms through the glittering London streets of old as the likes of Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark or Cilla Black boom from the speakers. While this is initially eerie and effective, by it's umpteenth implementation it becomes tiresome and clear that Wright is relying far too heavily on this device to carry the pseudo-horror elements of the movie. The problem is, he has no other efficient horror-driven ploy to bring in as an alternative.

Wright also seems to clobber us with the assertion that all men back in 60's London were predatory rogues out to shamelessly exploit vulnerable young women and as such, the movie has a very tell-tale stamp of 2020's MeToo impressed upon it that took me out of the time capsule it tries so hard to construct.

Aesthetically, the movie is very pleasing to the eye and the term "style over substance" has probably never been more apt than here. Wright certainly uses these elements well though his techniques don't seem entirely original. There are many moments that bring to mind films like Polanski's REPULSION and THE TENANT, along with cult movies such as BLOOD AND BLACK LACE, CARNIVAL OF SOULS and even the more recent BLACK SWAN. The giallo horror subplot meanwhile, sadly proves a letdown though it is nice to see the film often lit in the style of giallo maestro Mario Bava.
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7/10
Carrie On Elm Street
31 March 2021
If there was ever a vote for THE prototypical 80s horror film, I'd be hard pressed to vote for anything other than this. The look, style, pace and vibe of Bruce Pittman's delirious non-sequel to the routine slasher PROM NIGHT are the very epitome of the period. For this reason, those touched by nostalgia will find it hard not to like but HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II has a little more in it's locker (literally as it happens!) to enjoy than just an appreciation of it's era.

Right from the opening scene, there is a wonderfully odd vibe throughout that propels the movie along nicely and although it openly borrows from CARRIE, ELM STREET and THE EXORCIST, it makes no apologies for this and goes about the task with real zest and energy. Much credit belongs to veteran Canadian composer Paul Zaza, whose queasy score here adds immeasurably to the off kilter mood that works so much in this movie's favour.

The cast have fun and are game for the ride with the ever-reliable Michael Ironside thrown into the mix. As for Lisa Schrage.........given her limited screen time (her character spends most of the movie in the guise of a possessed Wendy Lyon), I thought she was mesmerizing as Mary Lou, giving us a truly memorable and delightfully twisted character whose beauty can't be ignored and whose evil can't be escaped!

Mary Lou is a vengeful 50s Prom Queen back from the grave with a score to settle. Most of all, she wants back the crown she was cruelly denied and will stop at nothing to get it.

As the possessed Vicky, she kills and toys with victims - sometimes on a warped sexual level........at one point coming onto her Dad(!), her headmaster (in his office!) and even her best friend in a shower.........the latter in a sequence culminating in a protracted and utterly unexpected full-frontal nude scene, stalking her prey around the changing room with a payoff kill that's not easily forgotten.

Well staged and imaginative dream sequences and hallucinations abound such as the liquid blackboard and a possessed rocking horse that comes off very creepy and not nearly as silly as it could have been. With little to boast of in budget, the SPFX here are all the more ballsy and impressive.

Sharp, quirky and with a wicked sense of humour, there's not a dull moment here!
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Dead & Buried (1981)
7/10
Unearth This One!
25 March 2021
A great companion piece in some ways to John Carpenter's THE FOG, DEAD AND BURIED is just as fine a vintage as that or any lost classic from the fondly remembered early 80s era.

Grim, eerie and deliciously macabre, this is at least on a par with director Gary Sherman's earlier cult item DEATHLINE (RAW MEAT in the US). Throughout the film, there is a cold, almost damp atmosphere of mounting dread.......aided in no small part by the hugely effective misty coastal small town setting of Potters Bluff.

A spate of vicious, seemingly random murders are just the tip of the ice berg here with local Sheriff James Farentino wading through the corpses toward a revelation that a career in law enforcement could never have prepared him for! If the murders weren't enough, things take an even more sinister turn when some of the victims later appear to be alive and well in the Potters Bluff community.

The combination of Voodoo and radical medical practice is intriguing and Jack Albertson is indeed exceptional in a role he seems to revel in. His line to James Farentino: "You will try to kill me Dan, but you can't.......you can only make me dead." is as good a quote as I've ever heard in a horror film. There are some quite savage deaths but these are secondary to the mystery and suspense the film builds up until the climax and although the final revelation is not entirely unexpected, it is still effective when delivered.

There's plenty of talent on show here with a cast that features a young Robert Englund in a small role, while behind the scenes, Sherman is joined by ALIEN co-writer Ronald Shusett and effects wizard Stan Winston. While Shusett's ALIEN colleague Dan O'Bannon gets a credit too, he was quick to distance himself from the project, revealing he had no direct involvement but allowed his name to be attached to aid promotion out of commitment to Shusett.

DEAD AND BURIED is none the worse for this however and remains a fine example of how atmospheric and eerie low budget horror movies once were in a period where they were somehow more organic and less influenced by trends.

A fine score from Joe Renzetti is the icing on the cake.
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Vertigo (1958)
10/10
The Jewel Amongst Hitchcock Jewels
3 January 2021
Of the many classic works that form the celluloid legacy left by Alfred Hitchcock, critics have long debated which could be deemed the quintessential Hitchcock movie.......the one that might best encapsulate the unerring deft hand of the oft-titled Master Of Suspense.

There are certainly plenty to choose from. SHADOW OF A DOUBT (1943), ROPE (1948), STRANGERS ON A TRAIN (1951) and REAR WINDOW (1954), all exhibited a unique blend of suspense and macabre humour toward the subject of murder, that audiences in the 1940s and 50s had not experienced before. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959) meanwhile, offered espionage, mistaken identity, romance and thrills in what is one of it's director's most flamboyant and fast-paced offerings.

Then there is PSYCHO (1960), a film whose reputation stakes a claim as his defining work - partly for the controversy it courted at the time of it's release but undoubtedly more so for the generations of audiences it would terrify and make think twice about stepping into a shower with it's familiar shrieking strings unleashed by composer Bernard Herrmann.

In 1963 he shocked moviegoers again with THE BIRDS (1963), a spectacular entry of sorts in cinema's animal-amok sub-genre that has still only since been rivalled by Spielberg's JAWS (1975).

In 1958 however, Hitchcock made arguably his most complex and multi-layered movie. A film about desire, love, obsession, phobia, loss and redemption.

VERTIGO stars the ever-reliable James Stewart as confirmed bachelor Scottie, a police detective whose discovery that he suffers from acrophobia - caused by a form of vertigo - leads to the death of a colleague at the start of the movie. Guilt-ridden, he retires from the force but is shortly thereafter hired privately by old college pal Gavin Elster, to secretly follow his wife Madeline who appears to be suffering blackouts and exhibiting odd behaviour that she has no subsequent memory of. Behaviour that indeed, threatens to end in her suicide. A suggestion of possession by a long-dead descendant who died at Madeline's age by her own hand is put by Elster to Scottie, who is sceptical and dismissive of such a notion. In following Madeline however, this theory begins to look more and more credible as her unbalanced behaviour increasingly replicates that of her descendant - a descendant of whom she herself has no knowledge.

Played in fittingly aloof fashion by the icy-elegant Kim Novak, Madeline soon becomes Scottie's object of desire but this is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a labyrinth of twists and deceptions that lead Scottie into an odyssey of love, madness and obsession by way of a tragedy from which he has to recover his sanity to somehow face a future that appears once again shattered by his vertigo.

It is at this point where James Stewart really comes into his own, playing a deeply troubled character in a role unlike any he had previously been assigned (or indeed would ever be again) throughout a remarkable lengthy career. That Hitchcock was able to extract this range from him is a credit also to the director. Guilt, failure and an undying love for a spectre of his past follow a mental breakdown and form an obsession to mold the present back to a point in time where Scottie can escape the tragedy consuming him. In a bizarre twist of fate he then seemingly happens upon an unexpected second chance to redeem himself and undo the loss and despair that haunts him. In making this journey, Scottie will try to rewrite his past to reclaim his life, his love and his sanity. In doing so however, will the outcome offer deliverance..........or will he only capture an illusion?

To reach the moment of truth he must ultimately again face his vertigo.

Throughout the proceedings, Hitchcock's storytelling techniques have never been better. Colourful swirling, kaleidoscopic patterns accompany the opening credits, underscored by Bernard Hermmann's exceptional main title, conjuring a surreal, illusory quality that perfectly sets the scene for what will follow. A nightmare sequence during the depths of Scottie's despair builds on this with striking imagery, reminiscent somewhat of Salvador Dali's concept work on Hitchcock's earlier SPELLBOUND (1945). Great use is also made of authentic San Francisco shooting locations that here become mapping points in Scottie's experiences with Madeline.

Arguably most memorable of all, is the hotel sequence in the latter stages of the film. The pivotal moment where it seems Scottie might defeat his demons and reclaim what was cruelly stolen from him. Shot with filters and washed out with neon lighting glaring in through the window from the hotel sign, the scene has a disturbing sickly quality to it that appears to replicate Scottie's troubled state of mind. It is undeniably sumptuous however and culminates in what was the longest on-screen kiss filmed up to that point, achieved with a lengthy continuous take circling the characters while the background locations alter from one to another behind them. All this accompanied by Hermmann's remarkably moving romantic score.

VERTIGO is possibly Alfred Hitchcock's most ambitious work and is undoubtedly among his very best. Essentially it is a tale of one person trying desperately to chase the past while another tries in vain to escape it. Though the story elements may be at times implausible and collapse under close scrutiny, it is the thoughts and questions they provoke that endure and resonate. Where does love begin? Where does it end and obsession start? Could desire be an age-old insanity?

Are there really ever any second chances in life?
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Hart to Hart: Hartstruck (1983)
Season 4, Episode 20
8/10
Play Mimi For Me.
11 July 2020
Mimi Rogers steals the show here as a psychotic young woman besotted with Jonathan after a chance encounter. Initial infatuation quickly descends into obsession as she begins bombarding his office with phone calls, gifts and dogging his footsteps in full stalker mode.

Anyone who happens to get in the way or inadvertently frustrate Rogers' pursuit becomes a target and this of course makes Jennifer her enemy number one. As the bodies begin to mount, Jonathan suspects what might be happening and teams up with the police to self-investigate by arranging a date with his deadly admirer.

While the episode appeared a few years ahead of Fatal Attraction, it still bears a heavy influence from Play Misty For Me which covered the same theme just over a decade earlier. Wisely, the episode is devoid of the goofy humour that frequently characterizes the show and this enables the suspense to build without obstruction and there are several tense, standout moments.

We do end up with the familiar Jennifer-in-peril scenario toward the end (and I'm not sure why anyone who has barricaded themselves from danger would then choose to un-barricade themself) but even this is redeemed largely by the final moment, which is both unexpected, sad, yet very moving and provides as good a wrap-up to the story as anyone could expect.

Rogers is terrific here. Seductive and clearly unhinged, her scarlet lipstick, fingernails and garments are a clever backdrop to her knife-wielding antics. There is also a child-like innocence to her on occasion - even apologising to a victim at one point.

This one is definitely a change of pace for the series and could have ended up a complete misfire if handled in the familiar style of the show. As it stands, it is one of the must-see episodes.
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Halloween (I) (2018)
2/10
No treat here I'm afraid.
10 May 2020
Warning: Spoilers
So we have John Carpenter back on board, scoring and producing. We have Curtis back as Laurie Strode. We even have Nick Castle back, appearing as Myers! So what could go wrong.........?

Well, quite a lot as it happens.

For all the positive noise made in the run up to it's release and the makers smug claims that this was to be the REAL sequel - jettisoning all the others out of existence in the story arc, I was largely disappointed.

There was so little suspense and the whole thing quickly went straight down the well-trodden road of Myers versus Laurie (again) as though she was somehow his chief focus despite killing indiscriminately prior to this - seemingly without even the most vague pathology.

Somewhere amongst all this, his pattern of re-enacting his sister Judith's murder (strongly implied in the original - to which this claims to directly connect and therefore also must focus on with renewed attention) seems completely forgotten. The whole concept of Myers reliving this event by seeking out, then strategically stalking surrogate victims that somehow resemble her, are replaced with a scattershot series of random, opportunist kills in the run up to a Super-bowl-type showdown with Laurie that we are predictably building towards even before he escapes.

For me, this means the much hyped dismissal of the sister/brother angle from the earlier sequels was a waste of time because for all that, it still seemed all about Myers coming after Laurie.........only this time for reasons unknown. They might as well have left the sibling angle in because they completely overlooked the original concept of him killing Judith over and over by targeting teenage girls of her type. This was the only insight we had into the character from the original story but it was enough to make him terrifying yet keep him unfathomable. If they had stuck to this and had Laurie make it her mission to step in to try and thwart him (a la Loomis in the original) rather than be his star focus, that would have been consistent with the earlier Myers characterization and also a believable and intriguing extension of Laurie Strode.

As it is, Strode and her kin are again painted as the passion of Myers' bloodlust - something we've seen several times over before. Laurie's ridiculous doomsday pad had me gasping in disbelief that the story had so centred on her again being the final stopping point of Myers' journey. Why she feels she would be in his firing line is vague and we as an audience are just trusted to accept this because it's the role and character Curtis will always be remembered for. But there is no reason Myers' would be hung up on settling a score with her, nor that she would be so obsessed with him. After all, she had only encountered him once in this new timeline and 40 years earlier at that.

Judith Myers gets merely an obligatory mention from the villainous and utterly pointless Dr character, who is synthetically injected into the plot to provide an absurd and disastrous twist by himself turning homicidal - presumably out of obsession with Myers - only to end up the next victim himself mere moments later! Though this serves as a clunky solution to the logistics of transporting Myers to Laurie's fortress for that horribly telegraphed finale, it hardly seemed worth including the character and ultimately, the twist stank the whole movie to high heaven. I also thought it was daft to present us with a character that has presumably spent years in his specialised profession........ only to wait around for Myers' escape (an event that might never have occurred) and then act out some hitherto subdued homicidal urge of his own. Perhaps it was an act of desperation on the part of the writers to give the movie an extra shot in the arm to make up for substance they suspected was lacking.

I also thought - given how many deaths there were at the early crash scene and then the gas station - the low key police presence on the streets of Haddonfield for the longest stretch of the evening seemed bizarre and absurd. Only when yet more bodies turned up, did there seem to be any real kind of manhunt. Even HALLOWEEN II (1981) presented a more realistic law enforcement reaction around Haddonfield to the crimes that had been only then just discovered. Bear in mind also, the infamy of Myers in this new timeline as a murderer well documented and studied over his 40 year incarceration and the furore that would surely follow his escape.

I believe had there been more daytime scenes and patient buildup to the night terrors that lay in wait, the film would have greatly benefited. There was little structured pacing here. This was HALLOWEEN for the Millennium. A brief set-up, then straight in with the mayhem, brutality and barely 5 minutes without Myers onscreen in case our 2018 audience attention spans begin to wane and people start checking their SnapChats.

Myers' spent so long in the original film (often offscreen) observing people and dogging their steps before choosing his moments to strike. Think of him watching Annie from a few feet away on several occasions at the Wallace house. Or standing in a doorway watching Bob and Lynda - both downstairs and upstairs - before toying with them and luring them to their deaths. Here we are frequently tagging along with him in the third person as he just nonchalantly walks into houses straight off the cuff and kills without any pre-selection or stalking. The victims seemingly have no tie-in to his pathology around reliving Judith's murder - while at the same time also have no connection to any implied plans he may have to target Laurie Strode and her kin. He spent a whole day in the original patiently observing and planning his movements around Haddonfield without strolling into peoples houses and viciously slaughtering whoever was just unlucky enough to live there. There's little subtlety or finesse to the kills either. No, this Myers will just stomp on your head if need be to get you out of the way.

Maybe I'm too wrapped up in the original.......maybe I can't move with the times! But the makers of this were very vocal about this connecting directly to the original and dismissing all the sequels. For this reason, comparisons and close cross-reference to that film are perfectly in order. That said, even dismissing Carpenter's film, for me this was a badly paced, generic slasher with little suspense, almost no scares and plot deviations that are often pointless and not infrequently absurd. And for all the large talk about dismissing the sequels and directly following up the original - this had far more in common with those said sequels than it had Carpenter's film. For me, it was also inferior to several.

A lot of the kills are pointless and brutal, very much out of sync with how Myers operated previously and worst of all - were more reminiscent of what I saw in Rob Zombie's celluloid catastrophes that sadly marked the series.

Then at the resolution, after all Laurie's plans and convictions to finally "end this", she chooses to walk from a self ignited inferno, inexplicably leaving Myers breathing when she had him trapped in a basement before her, foregoing the option to pump him with endless rounds from any of the plentiful firearms she's been stockpiling for 40 years...........I audibly groaned at this point and got a dirty look from someone sitting in the row before me.

This cheap and largely undisguised tactic to facilitate yet another addition to the series was perhaps the final insult to the audience

I really wish I had got more out of this and hope others manage to enjoy it but for me the film was light years short of the simple, yet powerfully effective concept that a low budget independent movie from 1978 presented to us..........and which I fell in love with on first viewing.

I also found it terribly weak judged purely on it's own merits.

Perhaps I'm just getting old and grumpy!!!
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1/10
The antithesis of the original.
21 June 2018
There are hopefully very few occasions one might feel the urge to flee the theatre long before the closing credits roll. With AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS however, your chances of experiencing this are better than average.

In making a follow-up to a wonderful and respected classic like it's predecessor, the makers of this had to realise that they had signed on to meet certain standards and expectations. Right from the unnecessary and absurd Eiffel Tower sequence early on, it seems clear that the very mentality of this film is way, way off. Whilst I laughed at the humour in the original, here I cringed at the many embarrassing efforts of AWIP to generate laughs. Equally, I was left cold by it's failure to offer a single scare to speak of.

Elsewhere, utterly mindless (and arguably tasteless) sequences by Jim Morrison's grave at Pere Lachaisse among others, seem more preoccupied showcasing some of Paris' famed locations than furthering the story in any meaningful way - a far cry from the Piccadilly Circus and Trafalgar Square set-pieces in the original.

The lead characters seem to epitomise the very cliched definition of annoying American tourists seen through the jaded eyes of the rest of the world and this misrepresentation makes it difficult to take from them anything like the appeal found in David Naughton and Griffin Dunne in the 1981 original.

It might be unfair to measure this movie by comparison to the original but there is little doubt that there would still lie within, the same complaints with AWIP even if judged purely on it's own merits as they are so glaringly evident.

Enough has already been said about the awful CGI werewolf FX and this stands true - again - even without comparison to Rick Baker's extraordinary practical transformation wizardry 17 years earlier.

Quite literally, between the story, characters, performances, digital disasters and half-witted humour, I felt - within the first five minutes - a sinking sensation in my stomach that created a knot which sat there and left me numb with disbelief long after the merciful arrival of the end credits. Only Delpy's presence brought any kind of relief in the interim.
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Phantasm (1979)
8/10
It sure has balls!
9 August 2016
PHANTASM is an uneven work, too fantastic to be genuinely scary but ferociously unique and fascinating on numerous levels. Directed by a youthful Don Coscarelli, the film has an energy and pulse that carries it far beyond its budget and production horizons.

There's some very strange goings on at Morningside Cemetery, where an orphaned teen happens upon faceless spectres, body snatching and that's just for starters! Further probing suggests this is all under the direction of a sinister Tall Man who in fact may not be entirely of this earth! Along with his grown up brother and a friend, our young hero tries to unravel the mysterious happenings and bring the Tall Man's diabolical plot to an end.

At the films heart seems a desire to create a warped yet entirely original Universe where nothing is as it seems and anything can and probably will happen. Logic is quickly cast aside and indeed has no place in the crooked landscape that PHANTASM paints. Into this bizarre, Dali-esque, twisted cosmos, are thrust a small group of characters who - perhaps even by virtue of their performers' acting inadequacies - seem very much part of the fabric of that Universe.........even in their struggles to survive and make sense of it.

For me, PHANTASM has a distinctly hypnotic effect for all those reasons amongst others. Flying sphere drills, a gender bending alien cemetery keeper, hooded shrunken corpses refined for slave labour on some parallel Universe, a severed finger that morphs into a grotesque (if admittedly comical) fly and countless other wild fantasies are all episodic nightmares that work their way into the subconscious and stay there - however well or not they may be executed. Surreal and without any measure of reason, these are the very traits upon which this movie thrives. They are indeed, the very essence of those darkest, unfathomable episodes that randomly invade our sleep and played out to the wonderfully eerie score by Fred Myrow and Malcolm Seagrave, the effect isn't easily forgotten.

Also, the film's tendency to bounce us in and out of reality - if indeed a reality was ever there - without warning, keeps us permanently on unstable ground. Dreams are very prominent and indeed prevalent in PHANTASM. So much so, that by the end there seems no dividing line between that which was real and which was not. In this sense, the film explored the territory that NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET would later make its own but somehow achieves a dream-like quality that even Craven's classic would not surpass. Only Dario Argento's similarly striking INFERNO might challenge PHANTASM as the closest we may ever get to a dream captured on film.

PHANTASM is a unique, mind-bending vision of quaint, small-town America, infused with hellish fantasies of death, loss and isolation, unleashed from the subconscious mind - perhaps even in the end, from that of its young, insecure and lonely adolescent protagonist.

Poe said "Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?"

PHANTASM presents a case.

I urge those who are not impressed, to watch it again with these notions in mind.
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Killer's Moon (1978)
1/10
If Ed Wood Made a Carry-On Movie..........
18 January 2006
To describe KILLER'S MOON as dreadful could still be a little flattering to those behind it. Yes, any meaningful budget is here conspicuous in it's absence but there's still no escaping that this Brit-indie cheapie is inept on just about every level and amateurish in the extreme. Atrociously shot, edited, acted(!) and written, this may be the closest the world will ever get to a Carry-On movie directed by Ed Wood - but perhaps not quite as accomplished.

Such as it is, the plot throws us a busload of teenage schoolgirls stranded in the Lake District, who are subsequently terrorised by perverse mental escapees who believe they're acting out a dream.

And so there you have it!

Throw in some cheap gore and a cast of British non-actors and you emerge with a mesmerising crash course of how to fail at film-making on practically every level. Some laughs are there to be had, but you have to be drunk enough to find them. There is of course, a twisted charm to this type of film and fans of schlock-exploitation are likely to break even having given this one their time.

Look fast for a pre-reality TV fame Lisa Vanderpump, here light years away from the glitz and glamour of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS. Strangely enough, she never mentions this movie when reminiscing about her humble days as a young lass growing up in England!
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