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swannybaby
Reviews
Glass Onion (2022)
Brilliant... until the ending
Great plot, great characters, and especially wonderful acting from Janelle Monae - great to see a film that brutally mocks alt right monsters and Silicon Valley morons such as Andrew Tate, Zuckerberg/musk/Dorsey/Epstein, and everyone else ponzi-scheme modern American worships. Can't put spoilers here obv, but a fantastic movie, clever pacing and near perfect detective murder mystery right until the very end where the main character does something incredibly stupid with a key piece of evidence that completely undermines the whole movie.
Sad as that drops it from its predecessors excellence somewhat. Still better than any other movie this year - so please enjoy.
Bluey: Sleepytime (2020)
Artistic merit
Hilariously, this has more artistic merit than almost anything coming out of Hollywood in the past 10 years. Oh yeah, and they do it in 7 minutes. Eat it 3h marvel Franchise nonsense.
Death on the Nile (2022)
Highs and lows
The set up takes too long (and bizarrely, focuses way too much on characters that don't seem to hold much relevance once the murder occurs?)
Once the murder does happen (60 mins in) it's a different film, and vastly superior.
However it is worth noting that Gal Gadot is incredibly bad, and woefully miscast. The rest of the cast really carry her, and Armie Hammer's weak performances.
Surprising - Emma Mackey in a star turn (a fine performance in a difficult role) and Russell Brand(!?) playing a pleasantly understated role, magnificently.
Kenneth, always good.
Please Hollywood keep making these movies (+ knives out) - can't stand marvel - this actually gets me to the cinema and excited again :)
Logan (2017)
Utter plagiarism
Shocking the amount of positives reviews this film has received, despite lifting the entire plot from Alfonso Cuaron's children of men. Not even any credit given to the original author, PD James (despite 3+ Screenwriting credits). Hollywood is truly bereft of ideas - first remakes, now outright theft - prob about right from the Marvel/Disney garbage factory. Go watch COM instead, try not to laugh at this joke of a film.
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
Overrated
Love the cohens, but not every Cohen film is a masterpiece. This is more like watching paint dry - Oscar isaacs is great, but there isn't really any plot except misery and failure - often self inflicted. Avoid.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
Traumatised
A show so horrific it gave me PTSDee. I may never recover from my rum ham addiction, and if more people committed to Charlie work the world would be full of less liberal tears.
Sucker Punch (2011)
Sexist garbage
Sexist garbage, little more than soft core porn with ongoing torture of powerless women. Basically a nerds submissive fantasy covering comic book fetishes. Avoid.
The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)
Rewriting history
Rewriting the trial and it's left wing characters into some sort of liberal propaganda film, including the cowardly option of using (deceased) Abbie Hoffman to spout Sorkin's centrist worldviews (literally speeches he never gave) in direct contrast to Hoffman's actual real world far left, anti-state/anarchist leanings - is an ethical disgrace. Despite its shocking rewriting of history, i have to give the movie 5 - it is super well made propaganda. Consider it fiction, and enjoy it more.
Mystic River (2003)
Appalling ending that makes no sense.
A fantastic film for the first two acts - let down by a frankly bizarre plot twist that makes no sense. Making the crime 'random' rather than the culmination of all the chess pieces on the board (including two options that would've only involved a single line addition to the script) is a huge missed opportunity. Thus a complete failure of a film - without spoilers, I've never seen any film that destroys itself so thoroughly in the last 10 minutes. Bizarre
Suicide Squad (2016)
Worst movie ever made
This is the worst movie ever made. Everyone involved should've been fired and sent back to working as baristas
Central Park (2020)
Just terrible
Just an endless succession of all musical numbers without a plot, or a sense of humour. Kinda like watching a soda commercial crossed with Christian TV. Avoid.