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Reviews
If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969)
Hilarious! And Susanne Pleshette? What man could resist her?
Saw this when I was about 30. I was a pretty big and tough guy, but early in the show the travelers were required to get SHOTS to go to Europe. When the screen filled with a HUGE upper arm and a 20' hypodermic needle, as soon as that needle pierced the skin, I passed out onto the floor. In the same theater a year later I watched a German documentary, and they showed a baby being born, up close and personal and in full color. As soon as I saw that purple mess come out of that woman, out I went again and onto the floor. Guess I'm not as tough as I thought.
Love this movie, and it was a prime reason I got so interested in traveling through Europe that I did it 29 times. I even took my mom 9 times up to the age of 80, once on a bus tour just like this one, but ours was 19 days and 9 countries. Surprisingly, it was a wonderful trip! Such an easy way to see the highlights of the continent. If only Susanne had been with me instead of my mom (no offense, Mom!) ... that would have been perfect!
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
A SLOW AND DREARY MESS
What an incredible waste of so many fine actors! This movie is incomprehensible. Any person who says they understood it is lying. British drama is ordinarily quite good, but this is the worst example I've ever seen. It is an overlong repetition of silences, mostly from Oldman, that explain nothing. Perhaps we were supposed to read his eyes to understand what he was thinking.
I only hung on to the end in hopes that the plot would become clear, but it never did. Of course, my IQ is only 140. Perhaps an IQ of 180 is needed to understand it. It reminded me of another mindless flic called "Inception" that I saw two days ago ... total gibberish and unintelligible, and at the end you have no idea whatsoever what happened. Stay away from this one too!
Inception (2010)
AVOID AT ALL COST!
Many fine actors involved in this disaster ... including a favorite French actress, Marion Cotillard. The visuals were super, the action very good, the acting well done ... but the story was absolute nonsense. Had I taken a triple dose of LSD, I could not have hallucinated anything as bizarre and crazy as this "story." Save your time and your money ... ANYTHING else that De Caprio OR Cotillard has done will be FAR more rewarding than this mess.
Transporter: The Series (2012)
WHAT KILLED THIS SHOW...
The character "Jules" came out of nowhere in episode 5 of year two ("Euphro") without so much as an introduction, as if he'd been part of the "crew" already, though NOBODY was told of it. This character was irritating, noisy, nerve-wracking, bothersome, and TOTALLY unnecessary to this series. I just wonder what company bigwig he's related to who put him into this show. He KILLED this show! Sure, the loss of Carla was HUGE and Dieter too, but as long as the Transporter continued his work as before, with plenty of gorgeous women to embellish the show, it could have gone on for YEARS. But Mark Rendell RUINED every one of the five episodes he was in ... yet, on the last two episodes, his name had risen into the 3rd slot just under Chris Vance and Violante Placido. I find it incredible that all the people involved in producing a show like this did not recognize a show-killer like the Jules character. I can only think that Vance was tired of it, and Jules was installed to kill it. If so, it worked like a charm.
Carry on Nurse (1959)
Lots of fun!
Saw this in college 58 years ago! Enjoyed it so much that I made a point to see every "Carry On" movie that came out after that. The most hilarious scene was the final one, of course. But the big surprise came as we exited the theater ... an employee handed each person a large, plastic daffodil! Priceless!