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MaskedMinty
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Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024)
Absolutely bland and soulless
I do not want to repeat what other people have been mentioning but this series made me so angry that I just have to rant. They have just sucked out all of the joy and happiness and subtlety out of this show and given us some rushed boring drivel. The actors are absolutely emotionless and it feels like listening to a robot when they talk. The show suffers so much from telling and not showing with characters making asinine speeches and the dialogue is absolutely clunky and it feels like it actually was written by ChatGPT, because what is this:
Sokka: remember what dad told us yadaaa
Katara: but remember what mom told us! Yadaaaa
Aang: mourning and being traumatized by seeing his mentors and peers dead after 100 years and feeling immense amounts of guilt (which the actor absolutely fails to show)
Katara: But you will never become powerful unless you lose ;))
And the cherry on top being uncle Iroh, who was the life of the original show, now absolutely minimized to some generic old guy that just blurts out static lines instead of the kind, wise, complicated uncle Iroh that kept trying to guide his nephew in a very calm and subtle manner. Absolutely avoid this and watch the original cartoon again. Nopeee.
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
The worst movie I have ever seen
How on earth did this mess even find its way to the top 250 movies of all time? This movie is exceptionally famous even in 2023, and all beginner piano players know how to play its soundtracks (they are probably the only good aspects of this film). This is the incomprehensible, wannabe surrealist story of a weirdo girl or "Im not like other girls" (TM) who acts like a child because of her sheltered upbringing and suddenly decides to help people while not even paying attention to what they want. The dialogue is so dull, and the entire movie is so aimless you wouldn't even know where they are going with this. I don't know how people have been affected and fascinated so much by this fake sweetness soup of an "artsy" cr**. I could barely stand half of it.
Elemental (2023)
Boring Mess
I got bored through this movie half way through. But I forced myself to finish it. Pixar has definitely lost its magic because this mess is just a mashed potato of all their previous ideas but with elements and very bad dialogues. I found Wade's family funny but he was very insensitive and irritating as a character and the rest of the characters were all boring and 2 dimensional, the only character that was actually interesting was Amber's Dad. They have tried so hard to make metaphors about discrimination and racism that they have forgotten the everything else, like writing an original, interesting plot. The only reason I rate this a 3 is because of the stunning visuals and nothing more. What a shame.
Barbie (2023)
Preach Preach Preach
Let me start by saying that I'm by no means a conservative or traditional woman. I believe that inequality for women still is rampant even in first world countries and that we go through many problems. But damn...this movie is so corporate and shallow. It's clearly ordered and tailored by executives at Mattel to rebrand and sell more dolls. The movie starts well and has the potential of becoming something very good, but then it just goes downhill: the premise of the owner's feeling being projected onto the doll was going to lead to a very nice build up about a person's life journey and then Barbie and Ken go to the human world and cue in the speeches and preaching. This movie suffers from a bad case of showing and not telling, they keep repeating the same dialogues: patriarchy bad patriarchy bad patriarchy bad sexism sexism sexism, not even one time but MULTIPLE TIMES. These characters go into random rants like its a ted talk! The chemistry between the mother and daughter is absolutely nonexistent and their relationship is so cringe, You cant root for them or feel their feelings at all. Barbie should have understood how Kens had been feeling in the Barbieland the whole time which is a mimic of how many women are still treated in the society: just existing for the gaze of a woman (man). Yet what do they do? They manipulate them (with a super nonsense plan) and force them back to their original position while she gives him a half assed apology that could have been done better and end up to a more accurate point about equality. (I guess this is again meta and a reflection of how women are pitted against each other while people in charge benefit from that but its so badly done that it feels meh.)
I can imagine that in the boardroom they went through a discussion like this: People are going to think this is a feel good movie so we need to give them something deeper but also lets make it absurd and fast paced so that we can finish the plot quickly and also jump on the "not taking itself serious" bandwagon and also market these dolls again in the age of smartphone kids. The only reason this movie gets at 5 from me is the humor, which sometimes becomes very meta and creative and Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling have acted very well. Besides this, they could have just given us a simple feel good movie and I would have respected the creators more. Pass.
How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast) (2019)
Binge worthy
Its a cute teenage-y series that has a fun storyline, but the plot holes become quite obvious after season 1 and the quality decreases. Great if you want to improve your german, learnt a lot of expressions from it. But it certainly isn't something serious or well-though out and it doesn't pretend that it is, which makes it good. Also some social commentary here and there related to racism in Germany. I really did feel that the ending was too rushed and extremely unrealistic, and this is an unrealistic show overall of course but the ending didn't make much sense at all. Good for watching once.)
Loot (2022)
Simple Nope
I feel like I'm a masochist because I knew that I should have stopped as soon as I was in the middle of the first episode. But, I decided to continue to see where this mess was going. Boy what a shallow, uninspired series. I was waiting for it to become better and give some of the promising characters some sort of depth but it just never did it. The actress who plays Sofia is basically just playing her character (Blanca) from Posé. There is the funny black male friend trope, sassy toxic black female partner, the sarcastic gay assistant, the dorky middle aged white accountant and the sexy french guy who ends up being a weirdo. The whole thing is out of touch and tries to make a social commentary and break out of the obvious tropes and clichés but fails to do so and the result at the end of the finale episode leaves a super bad taste in your mouth. Save your time and watch something else, Apple really dropped the ball on this one.
Succession (2018)
Cringefest
I went to watch this series with high hopes. With being an HBO production and winning so many awards, I was expecting a brilliant, compelling series. The plot seemed interesting and the theme song was also amazing. But no, everything went downhill badly after that. The script and dialogue is so ridiculous that makes you feel like it has been written by a high school student who m*sturbates to the Wolf of Wall Street every day. The characters are sooo cartoonish and one dimensional, as if the entire point of this series is just to say: "Rich people are a**hats" and nothing else. Zero layers, zero nuance, the show just tries to be edgy and cool by making characters say soo many corny 13-years-old s*x jokes that you just want to throw up, I don't know how everyone else finds Roman or Kendall funny. I can't stop cringing anytime they want to make a joke or when they jab at each other. The show then tries to give some personality to the characters by making them talk about their childhood trauma in multiple occasions which falls extremely flat and unbelievable. You cant like any of these stupid doormats or root for them, I really wonder how this guy and his doofus, mushy-brain children could manage to run his company for so many years without going bankrupt. Acting is also absolutely subpar and wooden. A 5 years old could capture emotions better than that. In conclusion, save your time and sanity and don't bother. I don't know how this series won those awards over Better Call Saul and how people rated this dumpster fire anything over 5. I knew I had to stop watching after 3 episodes but I dragged myself and finished 1 season. Precious time gone.
The School for Good and Evil (2022)
Good for fun
Its a fun, feel good movie to eat pizza an drink beer to on a holiday night. It ends well and despite its cliché script and mediocre production it still manages to engage its watchers. A story about complexity between good and evil in people, love, friendship and many more. But don't expect an Oscar worthy type of film or any depth. I feel like Netflix could have done so much more to this story, with a better scrip and a series adaptation instead of a movie, this franchise had the potential of becoming as big as Locke and Key and Umbrella Academy. But unfortunately, it was dump and stifled so badly.
Elvis (2022)
What a mess
Boring, uninspiring drivel that was too long to watch. I really like famous people's biopics and I was thinking that maybe this one is like my favorite biopics like The Rocketman or the Bohemian Rhapsody, but no. You couldn't understand and connect with this Elvis, the dialogues were empty, The focus was mainly on the colonel rather than the main character etc. Not worth a watch at all.
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)
Enjoyable
The story is intriguing and inspired me to read the book as well, but I wished the movie delved deeper into characters. I didn't get the appeal of Sayuri's wooden acting and face and the ending was abruptly wrapped up. In general, it's good for watching once.
Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019)
A Masterpiece
It was breathtakingly magnificent. It's a must-see, beautiful love story that really touches your heartstrings. At some points, I found the pacing too slow but overall, its a solid 8/10.
Minari (2020)
Boring
Extremely boring, bland and uninspiring. A huge snorefest. The plot was very shallow and it ended abruptly and in such a stupid, cliché way. Wasted my time watching this, not recommended all.
Turning Red (2022)
Cool Animation
As someone who grew up with an overbearing mother, this animation was very triggering to watch. But I liked the story and the premise. The ending was a little bit too rushed and I didn't relate to the gushing over boy bands part, but like all Pixar movies, the message was great!
House of Gucci (2021)
Boring
Too long, underwhelming and boring. The fake Italian accent really walks on your nerves, the shots are badly done, the script is extremely bland and wooden with uninspiring dialogue. Its like reading a trivia instead of delving deeper into personalities and characters, as if they made the movie based on Wikipedia entries. I definitely don't recommend it.
The Tax Collector (2020)
Unbearable
I only could endure the first 15 minutes. The dialogue sounds like it was written by some 12 years old on Wattpad and the fake accents were extremely on my nerves. Mediocre acting, dull plot.
Gomorrah (2014)
After watching 11 episodes, I dont know if I should continue...
The acting is wooden. The script is written by a child, and its filled with telling, not showing. All of the characters are like one dimensional NPCs, you can't root for them, or understand why they are doing what they are doing and their motivation in a grander sense. They have 0 personality. Based on what I have seen, this just continues later on. Its definitely not on the level of the shows like Wire, Breaking Bad or Zero Zero Zero or Sopranos.
Encanto (2021)
Beautiful
Some people may find the plot too predictable, but the character design, dialogue and of course, music really carries this animation. I enjoyed it through and through and the historical nods to different time periods in Colombia were also well researched and appreciated. A lot of characters break out of their stereotypical roles and this makes this animation a vibrant and lovely one. Loved it a lot more than Raya.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Acceptable
I enjoyed watching Shang-Chi and the Legend of Ten Rings and the martial arts choreography is absolutely amazing, however the plot feels gimmicky and flat sometimes. Xialing learning martial arts all by herself from watching from 500 meters away? Awkwafina suddenly managing an accurate shot after a few hours of archery? And I wished we had more character development, I was waiting for the Dead Dealer (Whom I found fascinating) and Xialing to be explored more and have more dialogues but the former just got whacked by some soul sucking dragon in an absolutely lame fashion. The scripts is super cringe in many places, especially when the comic relief Katy/Awkwafina wants to joke. In general, its a fun movie to watch but don't try to analyze it too much.
Luca (2021)
Cool
It's a basic story and kinda predictable, but the visuals are great, The animation style is beautiful, and it's very fun to watch. Recommended.
Loki (2021)
So far So GREAT!
I enjoyed this series a lot. The plot is compelling and interesting, the acting is superb. So many psychological thees were also explored in this series and I had never expected Marvel to touch. Can't wait for the last episode, This is the best marvel series so far!
ZeroZeroZero (2019)
Damn!
Wow, Wow, Wow! Words can not describe how compelling and well-made this miniseries was. The music was perfect, the acting was superb, the script had great pacing. This show just sets the mood and gets you immersed, and it also shows the realities of drug trafficking. I just really wonder why they haven't promoted this series more, a lot more people should watch this!
Cruella (2021)
Completely ruined my expectations
I expected a lot from this movie based on the trailers. I wanted this to be good so bad, I was waiting for this movie for a whole week because I loved the soundtracks and the customs. But alas, the plot is like fondant cakes, it looks pretty but actually tastes awful and crappy. It just...doesn't cut it. First off, its completely unoriginal, and we have seen it a thousand times before, second off it doesn't follow any logic in a lot of moments, the robbery schemes just broke the laws of physics and reduced the fun, at least for me. But the most annoying part was that I expected Cruella to be actually cruel. I wanted her to skin the puppies, to get an actual revenge from the baroness, not a namby-pamby "I was just joking" and "She got arrested because everyone saw her pushing Estella down a cliff now she is in prison, the end, and no one questioned the sudden return of Cruella back from the dead and the nonexistent body of Estella". Let mad, evil characters to be mad and evil Disney, Stop sugarcoating stuff! This is exactly what happens when you make a Rated-R movie a PG-13. Also, why on earth did she gift one puppy to Anita and one to Roger, someone she didn't even know? Prudita and Pongo are brothers and sisters?? This doesn't explain her fixation with killing them later AT ALL! This Cruella is not the Cruella we know (or the one that is going to turn into her) AT ALL! The dialogue is also cringy and monotonic, it easily turns into a boring drivel. It's a no from me darling. NO.
Soul (2020)
Cliche after cliche after cliche
There is a certain demographic for these type of movies: The middle class middle age dude/gal who lives in a first world country, earns more than 50k-60k and works 60+ hrs a week and now is tired of his corporate job and wants to seek "enlightenment" and looks for the "meaning of life". I would have loved this animation very much if it was only about the struggles of a musician and band drama. Joe is a lovable character and the soundtracks are great. I loved the parts about being happy even if your dream changes because of life circumstances and the humor was also good. But the whole "Enjoy the little things in your life" and "Pizza is great, life is great" yada yada is such a worn out cliché. The most amusing part was where number 22 was going towards India, yeah honey I would love to see how you are going to enjoy your life, your best bet would be to be born in a family where you have a toilet in your house or not be born as a Pariah or not be ***ed by gangb**gers. Forget pizza and freedom for a long time. How about all of those kids who have to work in factories from a young age or kids who are sold as slaves or billions of people who sleep hungry every night? can they "enjoy the little things" too? The moral of this movie is such a tired boring "only sheltered fortunate people can relate to" concept and based on the sales of watered down how-to-be-successful books I have to say that these concepts really sell well, hence the raving reviews. Good for watching once, not worth watching again.
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
5/10 only for the animation
The only good thing about this animation was the beautiful art style and visuals, but that's all. I still don't believe that this script was written by a human, I'm pretty sure it was AI generated: analyze a few movies like The Avengers and Avatar the last Air bender, add some buzzwords like Unity and Trust into the formula and voilà! You got this mess of a cartoon that costs 30 dollars.
The characters are completely one dimensional. The moral of the story is bad and unrealistic, why should anyone trust people blindly, especially their enemy who has betrayed them multiple times and wanted to do so again if it wasn't for that shooting mistake. The ending scene where they put gem pieces together and turn into stone was super cringy, there was no need for them to turn into stone (they could have connected the pieces at the same time together) so these shows that this was only added for fake sentimental values. I wanted to punch myself anytime that the repetitive jack fruit jerky joke was repeated over and over again, the characters try so hard to be funny, but they fall flat. Raya never faces any problems collecting the gems, she just enters each city and collects them with minimal issues, anything bad that happens gets fixed randomly, and we never get to know about each city very well, it's just a pass, get stuff and go. The origin of the Druum isn't clear, again they are made by a bunch of buzzwords and never attack the protagonists when they don't have any resources ready. Lazy writing. Also, no good soundtrack to sing along to. This one was a mess, do yourself a favor and watch Moana again, it was far better than this one.
We're the Millers (2013)
Really?
Is this what we have come to when it comes to comedy? cliche scenes, sex joke sex joke sex joke, useless unbelievable plot, bad acting by JA as a stripper that doesn't suit her at all, man telling an underage dude to suck a Mexican police's **** so funny haha? give me a break. I couldn't even watch half of it and just skipped forward. the reason I ever wanted to watch this was for the memes and I was slammed in the face by this pile of steaming c***. save your time and watch sth else