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1 Guy 1 Jar (2008)
10/10
Beautiful story about bravery
11 July 2020
This short yet beautiful film tells us the story of a man who gained the bravery to shove a glass jar up his ass, and to take the pieces of it after it broke. The blood dripping on the floor gives us viewers the idea of the pain he must be going through. It was so beautiful I cried as I watched this.

yes this is a joke review I cried myself to sleep after watching this-
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10/10
Can't think of a title, it's all in the review I wrote
25 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I remember watching this film repeatedly when I was a kid. I still love it today! It's probably going to stick with me forever, even after the day I die.

It was made over 60 years ago, so there may be some stuff in the movie that's out of date, but it's still amazing nevertheless!

The animation is beautiful and still holds up to today! The songs are amazing, and I can see why they cast Peggy Lee as a few characters who would sing; she has an amazing singing voice.

The love story between the two titular characters is also sweet. They could've used the overused "love at first sight" cliché (which they didn't) and it still would've been good nevertheless.

It even got a sequel (which was made during the time where Disneytoon Studios was making several sequels, most were mediocre or less than that) and a live-action remake.

While I liked the sequel and believe it's not as bad as most of the sequels Disney was making around the time it came out, it's still pretty inferior. If you didn't like it, that's OK.

I didn't really like the remake. However, if you liked it, that's OK. And if you prefer it over the original, that's OK too.

However, if you were unsatisfied with both the sequel and the remake, then you still have this one to watch. Gotta save the best for last!
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4/10
Too politically correct tbh
17 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The original Lady and The Tramp was basically my favourite movie when I was a kid, and I still love it today. However, while this one had some good stuff here and there, I was disappointed by the time the credits rolled.

They changed too much things and didn't even bother to recapture the spirit the original had. I know that remakes can't exactly be like the original and I'm fine with that, but when you make a remake, you should at least try to recapture the original's spirit.

First of all, the film seemed to be more focused on being "woke" and stuff. I don't have that much of a problem with Jim and Darling now being an interracial couple in the 1920s/30s/whatever decade this takes place in (though I would've preferred if the setting was moved up to the 60s or more modern decades if they wanted more diversity but I don't really care), but the gender changes seemed unnecessary.

Another thing is that Lady's voice actress was miscast IMO. Like another reviewer said, Lady's voice is supposed to sound more soft and sweet. They should've cast someone who could have such a voice.

Next, the new cat song wasn't really that good. Now I understand they wanted to avoid being potentially offensive, but the song just felt too... generic and vanilla.

The scene where they fight the stray dogs was watered down in this version. It's just one stray dog instead of three, and while some parts were funny (such as when Lady pretends she has rabies to try scaring off the stray), it's just so... watered-down.

Next, they got rid of the funny beaver scene and replaced it with a boring one where the beaver is now... a statue. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE ORIGINAL ONE!?

I also noticed that in the scene where we see the pound after the dog catcher takes Lady, they got rid of the song that the dogs sing before Lady is taken to the pound. The Chihuahua was also omitted. I'm a Central American and I never found the Chihuahua offensive.

The scene where they save Tramp is probably the worst offender. It's supposed to be intense, but instead it's uncomfortably watered down. When Trusty gets his sense of smell back, there was also some clearly shoved-in "you must believe in yourself" crap that could've been well-done but was instead poorly executed.

What made the original "saving tramp" scene intense was that when they found the wagon and started chasing it, there was no spoken dialogue (except from the dog catcher), just fast-paced music and howls.

In this film's rendition of said scene, they took out what made it intense.

At least Aunt Sarah isn't a Karma Houdini in this one, the spaghetti scene manages to live up to the original, and the Trusty in this film stays true to the original Trusty.

However, if you like this film, that's OK. Just because you like it does not make you an SJW.

I'm giving it a 4 because the dogs who acted in this film did end up in loving homes, and there were a few good moments here and there. Plus, the dogs at least showed more emotion than the CGI animals in the "The Lion King" remake. The CGI may have not been as good, but it's an upgrade compared to the CGI they used in the Air Buddies films. It could've been worse.

I will still be sticking with the original, though. This remake may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the amazing original will cease to exist.
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7/10
Adult-themed Muppets
23 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I recently saw this film and it pretty good. Though here's a little warning: Meet The Feebles is not for everyone. I've seen Happy Tree Friends and The End Of Evangelion, yet there were still some scenes in this that made me squeamish. It's a good movie otherwise, but it's not for everyone. It is a black comedy movie, so of course it's not for everyone.

So think of the Illumination movie Sing, except it's low-budget, in the 80s, is for adults and is in live-action with all the characters being Jim Henson-esque puppets instead of CGI animation. They have a similar setting in a theatre, but the plots of this one and Sing are nothing like each other.

Meet The Feebles was directed by Peter Jackson, who would later go on to make Lord Of The Rings. This was one of his first few films as well.

It's about a group of puppets attempting to get their own show greenlit, but Heidi the Hippo, the star of the show, finds out her boyfriend, Bletch the Walrus, is cheating on her. Bletch also works with Trevor the Rat, a drug-dealing director. The newcomer, Robert the Hedgehog, falls in love with one of the chorus girls, Lucille the Dog.

As the film goes on, we discover that many of the characters have their own problems. Heidi herself has a low self-esteem and an overeating problem. Harry, a rabbit who is also the star of the show, is addicted to sex, then he is diagnosed with what appears to be an STD. Sidney, an elephant, is having a paternity suit filed against him for a child he denies is his. Wynard, a frog who is a Vietnam veteran, is addicted to drugs and uses them to cope with the fact he left a friend to die in the Vietnam war., and there's a filthy, nosy, journalist fly that eats crud and makes up lies about the Feebles cast so he can make an article for the newspaper.

We also get some scenes that go in depth about the secret drug-dealing and porn movie business that Bletch and Trevor are running. Eventually, Trevor decides that Lucille should be in his porn movies, then drugs her and tries to violate her. Robert catches them, but assumes Lucille is cheating on him and leaves her.

In the end of the film, Bletch reveals he never loved Heidi and removes her from the show. She attempts suicide, but the girl Bletch cheated on Heidi with mocks Heidi, which causes her to go on a murderous rampage.

After the end, there's an epilogue that reveals 6 characters survived, including Heidi herself, who spent 10 years in rehab and now is a member of society again under a new identity.

The soundtrack is brilliant, including Heidi's song "Garden of Love", while the song about sodomy that Sebastian the Fox sings is hilarious.

However, like I said earlier in this review, this film is not for everyone, and is not for people who have a weak stomach or don't have a certain sense of humour. Whether you're a kid who secretly watches South Park behind his parents' back, an edgy teen, or an adult, if you watch this, be prepared if you think you can handle this stuff. This is rated R and not NC-17 or X, but still. Don't say I didn't warn you if anything in this film makes you squeamish, vomit, etc.
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2/10
Not as bad as "The Legend Of The Titanic" but... KILL ME!
27 November 2019
Warning: Spoilers
A distasteful animated re-telling of the Titanic tragedy that treats it like another fictional story where you can cherry-pick what aspects you want to keep in the film. This film is an example of why if you were to make a film adaptation of a tragedy one day, you shouldn't adapt the same way you'd adapt a fictional story.

Basically a bunch of Disney/Don Bluth/Looney Tunes rip-off characters board the Titanic and the main female lead (who looks like Don Bluth's Anastasia) is suffering the abuse of her evil stepmother, who is basically a Cruella De Vil and Lady Tremaine ripoff, appearance-wise and personality-wise respectively. She has evil stepsisters too, and one of them looks too much like Drizella!

She then meets the rich guy (it's the girl that's poor here) and they immediately know it's meant to be after having a few lines with each other.

The most iconic moment of this film is probably the "rapping dog" scene. Because there's two versions of the film (known as the "cut version" and "uncut version"), the rapping dog musical number is different depending on which version you're watching. Both are quite catchy though.

How is there rapping in a movie that takes place in 1912? Rap didn't exist until over 50 years after, is the dog a time-traveler?

Also, what kind of translators did the dubbing company hire? "If it hadn't been for you I would now be in someone else's digestion" H- WHAT???

However, despite the fact we all clearly suffered while watching this movie (and you would too), there is a much WORSE Italian animated Titanic film from 1999 that I advise you should only watch if you can afford a long, psychological therapy afterwards. At least this one here was more accurate and implied people died. Plus, some of the songs are listenable, such as the rapping dog song (it's so bad it's good) and the songs the "Molly the singer" character sings (they sound quite nice). So I'll give it 1 more star, because it's not as bad as that other godawful animated Titanic film I was just talking about.
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8/10
Decent
29 July 2018
It's better than the show. There's jokes that are actually funny, but there were dumb scenes that were unnecessary, oh well, in the end, we have the funny jokes, and some sad moments that will yank at your heartstrings. There's also haters of the show that liked this movie. The animation is really good. So I recommend this for if you want to go to the cinemas and have already watched Incredibles 2.
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Wolf Children (2012)
9/10
Amazing
21 June 2018
I love this movie. I would like to see more of Hosoda's work, and while this movie is fine without a sequel, I want to know what it would be like. However, there are some things that keep me from rating it a 10/10. One reason is, while Yuki, Ame, and Sohei are supposedly preteens at the end of the movie, they look and sound like they are too old to be in that age group, they look/sound more like they're in their late teens or young adults. While the CGI is good, it can be distracting at times. Nevertheless, it's still pretty good.
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1/10
Would rate 0 if I could
12 June 2018
This film rips off Wreck It Ralph, Inside Out, and The Lego Movie. The story was boring, the jokes were unfunny, HI-5 was more annoying and obnoxious than funny, and it portrays teens as phone addicts who can't go 5 seconds without their phones, even in class. While I may also be a teen who spends a lot of her time online, I get off when I need to. The animation is good, but good animation cannot save a bad film from being bad.

"Oh, but Galán, you're just not part of the film's target audience!"

I know that, but I'm also not part of the target audience for the films it rips off (Well I was when they came out) and I still enjoy them. Sony cancelled the Popeye movie for this, and the Popeye movie looked like it had more effort put into it, it looked more promising. I luckily didn't have to pay to see it, but to the fellows who rated 1 star and had to pay, I'm sorry.

So the only things I liked were the animation, and that the teens looked like actual teens rather than twenty-something year olds (while they cast adults to play teens in live-action teen movies, I've seen some animation where the teens still look like adults).
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Isle of Dogs (2018)
10/10
Amazing
4 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I would rate this more than 10 if I could! It's just amazing! The stop-motion animation is just amazing, I saw this 8 days after it opened in my country. It's sweet how the boy decides to go to the island to find his dog. Overall this movie is just amazing.
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Step Dogs (2013)
1/10
A disappointment for someone who loves dogs.
2 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
So, I'm a dog lover. I thought this would be a cute dog movie but boy I was wrong. The acting was pretty good, but the humor was poor (just relied on crap jokes and fart jokes) and it used this "kill off the mom before the events of the movie" cliche that I AM REALLY SICK OF.

I know it wasn't made for people 12 and up, but neither were better movies like "Coco" and "All Dogs Go To Heaven".
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