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DarkYoshi13
Reviews
El laberinto del fauno (2006)
Enchanting and Dark....
This movie goes on the top of my list, above Donnie Darko even.
One night up in Blacksburg, my buddy calls me up and asks if I wanted to go see a movie called Pan's Labyrinth, I had never heard of it before. I thought to myself, "Sure, I need to get out of my apartment." So he came by and we drove to the movies. He didn't know much about it except that it was supposed to be good. We sit down, and it starts...Oh no, subtitles... It opened with the story of the girl and I began to have a little more doubt in this movie that I had heard nothing of.
It got a bit farther in the film and my doubts faded away and replaced with awe. It was a truly great film. By the end I had heard a new fairytale that all could enjoy.
It didn't censor the violence, it was in full force from the son's head getting bashed in to the Pale Man biting the fairies, nothing hidden and unseen. This movie had guts...no pun intended.
I recommend this film and believe it to be one of the greatest films of all time, but don't take my word for it.
The Descent (2005)
OMG!!! Pretty good movie!
Yeah, after seeing this movie in theaters, I have rented it several times...yeah...
I used to be an avid caver, so upon hearing of this movie, I was happy. Going into it I thought that it was gonna be a horrible movie but those type of movies are fun on dates, cause you can make fun of them...boy was I wrong.
1) First off, the entire cast are a bunch of hot chicks, especially the Asian girl, Juno.
2) Next, it shows the beauty of the Appalachian's. I lived in Blacksburg, VA for about 6 months and I think that outside of the town was gorgeous on overcast and rainy days. The movie reminded me of it sooo much.
3) Drei, someone actually taking a BMW off road, AMAZING! I hate SUV's cause probably on 10% of people take them off road, but this movie took a high-end brand SUV and took it into the wilderness. That made me smile.
4) The movie didn't just start killing people right away, it gave each of them personalities and stories.
5) It leaves you wondering what happens to Sarah after the end. Does she snap out of her delusion and escape, do the freaks get her? (prolly the second choice of course.) 6) I don't have a number six...or do I...
Anywho, I liked the movie. In meiner Meinung it was brilliantly done.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Ummm...this movie is gay...literally
All in all, a fine movie; but while watching it, I realized something....Freddy was a personification for the boy's homosexuality. Also several gay themes. Here's some points for my thoughts:
-When wandering through town, he ends up at a gay bar. -When he kills the coach, he strips him nekkid and ties him up. -If I remember correctly, only guys are killed by Freddy. -Many shots of the boy when he's practically nude and sweaty. -The clock in the boys home is shaped like a certain piece of the male anatomy. -To get rid of Freddy, the boy had to make out with a chick...
--There was more but I haven't seen the movie in years.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a homophobe, it's fine with me whatever choices people make for love. Hell, it could have seemed that the movie was like that because I was in an altered state of mind, but my friends I watched it with agreed with me....so yeah.
King Kong (2005)
King Amongst Movies, Cliché Amongst Titles (I'm Sure)
King amongst movies, sorta...if you enjoy mainstream films that is. Ha Ha, surely I jest, and I do. It was a great movie, I saw it matter of fact. It had everything that modern America has grown to love, extreme sadistic violence. From the dinosaurs in the canyon to Kong in the city, many people and creatures die for the entertainment of the world. The bugs in the canyon was a great scene. Whoops, did I say great, I meant orgasmic, or did I mean great...somewhere in between. Jack Black going on a mad killing spree was awesomely good. The great aim of Jimmy and the Tommy Gun. Shall we not forget the confusing battle of the cook and the weird bugs that look like they'd be in a hentai, why didn't he chop the one on his arm, it's like he turned mental during the fight. The canyon scene also brought up some questions about Peter Jackson and his hobby of making men care too much about each other, I mean, Hayes and Jimmy, The Cook and The Chinese guy, I mean, why Peter, why? You did the same in Lord of the Rings, I mean, I have nothing against homos, but how about some normal hetero relationships. Let's move on shall we before someone gets offended and throws a tantrum. When Kong takes New York, that answered a question that riddles the minds of men and women alike, "why are there no natural blondes anymore?" Well, King Kong went through New York and tossed aside every blonde he found, aside from Ann of course. I don't get it, what is so special about blondes, brunettes are just as hot if not hotter, hell, I'd bang an Asian girl any day over a blonde,(as long as the Asian girl wasn't obese, old, or one of the odd looking ones). Any way, back to the movie, the end scene was pretty good. So yeah, that's about it. Time to move on to the "Things I Learned From King Kong": 1) Hitler Never Died,in fact he asked Jack Black if his film was gonna have Boobies. 2)People are more amazed by Large Gorillas than DINOSAURS! 3) King Kong was able to climb a several hundred foot tall building, but a 50-75 foot tall wall was too much to climb. 4) Asian people don't go ping when they hit the ground. 5) Despite there being much prey around, three t-rexes would rather have a white girl. 6) Kong loves the blondes. 7) Not all children like chocolate, or men forcing chocolate upon them. 8) Undiscovered lands somehow get maps to them. 9) King Kong is a great movie to take your girlfriend to because it is over three hours long!
Thank you, everyone for the reading this comment, hopefully it has been more useful than a severe case of herpes.
Scarecrow Gone Wild (2004)
Things I have learned from SGW
The things I have learned from this movie are remarkable, things I never would have guessed otherwise. I do warn you though, there are spoilers.
1) Spring Break doesn't consist of many people on a beach, but instead a small group friends...
2) Daylight is a tricky thing and can disappear to night, then dawn, then night again within a period of five minutes.
3) Scarecrows can whistle.
4) Scarecrows can whistle under water.
5) Scarecrows can drive trucks.
6) Boom mikes are not obviously visible while shooting or editing, but very visible when watching the movie.
7) Mirrors don't show your outer appearance, but instead what you are on the inside.
8) Scarecrows are weak against defibrillators.
9) Scarecrows lose track of people very easily on an open beach.
10) A wrestler is no match for the mighty power of a scarecrow.
11) Being lightly slapped can knock you unconscious.
12) Drunk people like terrible guitar solos.
13) When a spear-like object stabs through someone, it sticks through them at a completely different angle.
14) If you are being dragged along a beach, screaming for help, no one will help you, despite there being two people on the same side of the beach as you.(Check the background beach around when the girl finds her dead boyfriend, where could those two people go to in a matter of minutes?)
15) When you spill your innards, they rest neatly on top of your skin.
16) Finally, people don't show any signs of worry when their friends disappear for many hours without explanation.
This movie is very informative, I hope you have learned something from it. So Yeah.