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Reviews
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
It's just so long...
I absolutely love Shuri. She's an amazing character but this long mess does not do her character justice. I get they had to take her from point A to point B, but it feels like a mere path of convenience. Namor had multiple chances to kill the girl but he never did, and his reasons to attack Wakanda was also weak. They did not seem like natural enemies and why waste manpower to hurt a nation you have no conflict with? Just go after the human earth directly since you seem to be invincible there.
Moving onto the things I actually like i have to say the score is absolutely chef's kiss! Costumes are awesome too.
My BAMF in this story is M'Baku! The god darn COOLEST HERO!
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
1:03:17...
That's how far I got. I tried to finish it. I really did, but this just lacks in everything. I had to know if other people shared my opinion and when I eventually read Book switches sides to be good at the end of it, that decided it for me. THE BOOK WAS BOUND USING HUMAN FLESH?! This is not a good book! Why would it suddenly change its mind +300 years. It's okay to have an actual villain! There are villains in real life! See republicans.
And Billy got a new accent?! How?! Makeup was really good but the voice just about ruined it for me. They reference the old movie so much in a vain attempt to induce nostalgia? Why? Because they know they're creating garbage.
And yes I'm going to say it too because it's getting ridiculous, the wokeness is so much in your face, it literally rubs your nose in it in almost every scene. It's distracting and unrealistic. The humor is not there and plotwise I'm not even sure what they're doing. The sisters have literally *the night* to come back to life yet they're wasting time with two girls, then a shopkeeper, and then to look for some stupid mayor? There is no point in anything they do.
Redeeming part was the young actors playing the sisters. They were really good. So kudos to them. (Although not everything needs a backstory... it's like they want to justify them EATING children.. like whaaat.) Also, original actors were really good too! In fact they're too good for this poor sequel. (And people who shame them for being old. Seriously?! We all grow old. Also, it fits the narrative, since oh-you-know they CHASE YOUTH?! Well, originally... my opinion is that they were almost too young in the '93 movie)
And on a finishing note, not even the person who scored HP2 seemed to know what they were doing, because songs felt weird and didn't really fit.
They should have made this movie as an original and not a sequel. Because they clearly did not want to follow the feel of the original film. That is still creepy to the day, without being horror scary, and it has an eerie'ness to it.
Oh and I need to comment on the CGI. I get that it's more expensive to use puppets and real props, but they also have bigger budgets now a days so I feel like it justifies my complaint.. why not add some authenticity to the scenes?! Use a prop like in the old movie (*cough* BOOK *cough*) Books eye in the first one was creepy. Here it looked some lizard eye or something. It was just ugly.
I could rant forever but no one's gonna bother reading even this much so... here endeth the rant.
The Gray Man (2022)
At least actors did a great job except for stone face 'Danny"
The action is stupid at times and there really is no plot. Ryan, Ana and Chris worked their characters and were believable, but the nonsensical storyline made me more interested in reading comments on TV time to see if others saw it too. Surprise. They did. This stinker only has this high a rating because of the three actors I just mentioned. It's not memorable and not worth the time. Go watch Bourne instead.
Heartstopper (2022)
Once.. twice..
Yes... I just finished my fourth time watching it, and I'm expecting a fifth time in a day or two. Like it's only getting better! It's so terribly sweet and just such a great feel-good series even if it still deals with uncomfortable topics, with the best actors and characters. There is not a single bad word anyone can possibly say about this series. Like for real. I need a season two!
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Same old Recipe
It's like Disney has lost themselves in believing that visuals alone is what makes a great movie.
Wrong. You need substance, like an actual plot. I don't get how Pixar can create great movies, one after another, deep and meaningful, but Disney studios can't seem to move away from portraying the same old characters. Rapunzel, Anna and Raya, they're practically the same character just dressed differently.
All the characters seem to be there for comic relief which is super annoying, and the Chinese setting made no sense. It's like they chose it only because they wanted to use a dragon. Next time, just put them in NY. That would make more sense.
Noelle (2019)
Apparently Christmas equals iPads ...
IPads, iPads, and iPads. Forget all about family or being kind to one another, this is all about making sales. They don't even bother to try and hide it, they just wrapped it in a Christmasy look.
The acting comes off forced and the script is terrible. There are no real obstacles to overcome, everything "just happens" to get from point a to b. The relationships between the different characters are a joke. There is nothing deep with this story. They even tried to fake some sentimental garbage towards the end about what Christmas truly was... only to sum it all up into a joke about... you guessed it: iPads!
... Also I'd really like to know why the people at the malls first reaction to seeing reindeers are to throw "bird seeds" at them.
Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)
I remember liking it as a kid but...
As a grown up the kids stress me out. They are rude, downright unlikeable, bratty kids that are in dire need of discipline but the parents do nothing! They allow them to run amok without any consequences and they ruin everything they touch. The plot is non existent and the acting is horrendous. The lines are delivered with little emotion and the jokes are cringe'y. What a horrible excuse for a comedy.
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Turdfest
This installment lacks any resemblance to the other movies. It ignores the series' core value, FAMILY, and 1h into the movie and I don't even know what's happening. There's an annoying white woman acting like she's god or what not - really just want to slap her - and all the action scenes are ridiculous, like I usually accept the over the top action but this movie takes it to a whole 'nother level! This is an abomination to the other 7 films
The Wrong Missy (2020)
If this is a comedy ...
Then I'm Leslie Nielsen.
I should've been discouraged by the Happy Madison logo right at the beginning but I thought David Spade And Rob Schneider might add some laughs to the movie so I pressed on. But, 25 minutes into the movie, and I can't for the love of god understand who finds this funny. They rely on the same old, worn out, vulgar jokes and over the top characters. Like, don't you have any sense of integrity as an actor? I get you have bills to pay but have some self respect.
The Devil and Daniel Webster (2003)
Plot had potential
With such an awesome gang of actors I would've thought this movie to be a lot better. I feel like I never got to know the characters because there was no depth to them and also the plot moved too fast without really offering any real substance. But what was most annoying, was the dreary music and at times lack there of. This might influence some of my feelings but not by a lot. Tbh, Anthony Hopkins was the only good thing to come from this movie.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Tries so hard...
When they try to Mary Poppinsify every aspect of the movie to the point everything becomes, repetitive, flat, boring, and soulless. They try so hard to be what the original was which in the end is their downfall. Apparently everything went into the scenography because that is incredible and one can tell they put a lot of effort into it. The animation is just like the old Disney which makes my inner fan girl squeal from over joy but not even that can save this piece of horse poop. Emily Blunt does the Mary Poppins character justice it's just sad they couldn't give her an original plot enough for her to really put her own spin on her. I would not spend any money on this.
The Perfect Date (2019)
Wow
If you get paid to take out a girl, you don't hit on another girl AT THAT GIRL'S school dance! Imagine the embarrassment. Main guy is self absorbed and despicable. There's nothing charming about this guy other than his face. Never mind being predictable, I wouldn't be watching this if I did, but the characters have no chemistry at all. Save yourself the time, don't watch it.
Home Alone 3 (1997)
Great family fun
If people would stop comparing home alone 3 to the first two home alone movies they'd actually see the quality it offers its viewers. This is fun, suspenseful, and quite sweet. The actors are great, especially the little kid. So forget all about the original two and give this a chance. You won't regret it.
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)
Watch out
Because this is a true stinker. If you came here to be entertained I'd scroll right by this one. I suffered through the 3rd installment waiting for something to happen but nothing ever happened! And it was longer than the two first segments that were at least fairly interesting. If you're a movie enthusiast maybe you'd find some redeeming qualities in this but seeing as I just want a laugh, I see none.
Shameless: Face It, You're Gorgeous (2018)
#ENDGAME
One couldn't hope for a better ending for Ian Gallagher. Mind it's hard to watch Cameron leave, being one of my favorite Gallaghers, I feel like, for a time now, he kinda lost grip on who 'Ian' is (with him at times acting like a mix between Jerome and Jeremiah) and should probably take on more acting gigs in order to grow as an actor, it kinda makes his leave natural. Anywho, prepare for the roller coaster. Fiona's not having it easy this episode either. All in all it leaves us with a pretty good set up for the second part of this season.
Every Day (2018)
Trailer lies
Having never read the book I'm making this review from a 'movie' based perspective, and what a stinker it is! The acting is bad, the story is rushed and at most times it kinda comes off as being creepy. I feel sorry for the people whose life this 'A' person ruins every time it changes person. We had to shut it off three times just to get through it.
Alex Strangelove (2018)
Had a promising start
My question is; is this a coming out story or about a person finding himself? I'm not sure. Maybe they couldn't settle on one and got stuck in the middle of the two, but not really pulling either plots off. It had a promising trailer and I did laugh at many of the jokes but as the last (and very predictable) scene played out before me I felt like I hadn't really learned anything about anyone and Alex was just... kinda gay? Who knows.
If you're looking for something cute or heart warming this is not it. Period. It's about "we're gonna have straight sex, oh yeah, but wait I can't get it up. But I'm not gay! I will try with some random chick! Boooh Yeah! But I can't get it up this time either. Gosh darn it. Omg I'm having a (wanna seem poetic much?) flashback; okay I'm gay. And now I'm kissing the gay kid I met recently (because let's face it, it seems like two days passed since they first met) of which I'm not even sure I have any feelings for but he's there so he'll do!"
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Would've given it a big fat ZERO
What's up with all the bad jokes?! Seriously, I get it you think you're being funny but let me tell you, you are not. I thought I was in for a great movie, judged by the past movies, but this was pure garbage, from start to end. I question the sanity and intelligence of the people who deemed this pile of s... entertaining. Evade at all cost.
Downsizing (2017)
waste of time
My sister and I made the huge mistake and didn't read any reviews before watching, we just remembered the trailer from being at the movies and it seemed fun enough, and boy were we wrong. Watch out! This is nothing like the trailer, like seriously. It's utterly pointless and I still can't understand if Matt and TV box lady were a thing or not...
The Open House (2018)
I'd give it no stars...
The plot is so thin it's embarrassing. They don't even try to hide it and that is what makes me upset. They use good camerawork and music to keep you on your toes, but then suddenly the credits start to roll and you're left with nothing. Seriously, the bird that just passed my window was more interesting than this garbage. Mother and son are estranged and there's not much chemistry between the actors, thus making their relationship seem fake. I feel like saying I want my money back but since I'm mooching off my sisters account, ima go ahead and say avoid at all cost. This is so bad it's not even fun.